something beautiful

the winning-est, boring-est weekend

2012-01-28T18:28:00.001-05:00

Yall, I am totally full of WIN this weekend. And I am simultaneously being sarcastic and for real. Let's share a few of my winning-est moments.

First of all, the other night I somehow managed to change the language of my autocorrect on my phone to...French. Or maybe it's Italian. Basically, it's a romance language that isn't English or Spanish. So as though autocorrect isn't already annoying enough...imagine how fun it is now that it keeps suggesting that what I'm actually trying to say is...some weird word in another language? Nope, pretty sure that's not what I was going for, but thanks for suggesting it. Apparently the button that toggles between languages is very easy to hit, cause I keep doing it. At least I know how to change it back, now. The first time it happened was right after I got my phone and it changed it to CHINESE and that's how it stayed for weeks. I wanted to cry. It changed half my words to CHARACTERS. Anyways. I didn't notice this French-thing this time until the other night when I was re-reading a comment I'd already posted on a friend's blog and noticed half the words MADE NO SENSE. On the plus side, maybe people will think I'm very exotic and fluent in so many languages that I get them mixed up. Yep, that's it.

OK, so moving on to Winning Moments in Food.

Last night I cooked my first salmon recipe. You guys totally pulled through on the recipe recommendations I begged for here and I plan on trying all of them. I started with Lisa's suggestion (go read her comment for the recipe) last night because it a) looked easy and b) only required purchasing one other thing (in addition to the salmon, of course). YALL. It was SO GOOD. Normally I approach salmon kind of like I approach giant vitamins. It's good for you. If absolutely necessary for survival, you can ingest it by throwing it to the very back of your mouth and chasing with a giant cup of water. Try to miss all the taste buds and also try not to gag on it. Basically, I'm not a fan.

But last night? I was savoring every bite, licking my plate, snitching bites of Matt's when his back was turned. It was AWESOME! So you should go make yourself some salmon a la Lisa.

Today I continued expanding horizons by making a green smoothie. Apparently they're all the rage on Pinterest, plus my friend Kristin convinced me I should try it. I'm a big fan of spinach and all, but I just didn't see that being good all blended up with fruit. Happily, I was wrong! I forgot to take a picture, but that's okay because it was an extremely unappetizing shade of greenish-brown, so it wouldn't have convinced you to try it anyway. Basically I just blended up a few handfuls of organic spinach with a tiny bit of water until it turned into green goo, then threw in a banana, a handful of frozen strawberries, and some ice. It was super good and tasted like strawberry banana and nothing like spinach. And it was healthy. So...way to go, green smoothie!

So Matt and I have been sick for what feels like forever. It was just me, starting last weekend, continuing til the present day. And then he apparently caught it or something around Thursday, and now he's worse off than me. The thing about Matt and sickness is that his always look more legit than mine because he always runs a fever. I NEVER run a fever. The last time I remember running a fever was in 2003. In Guatemala. Other than that, no way (then again, thanks to years of compulsive BBT, I know that my regular body temperature is much lower than average...so maybe my version of a fever is just lower than everyone else's). Anyways, I'm kind of jealous of Matt's fevers because people totally believe that you're sick if you have a fever. They only believe I'm sick when they hear me cough for 2 hours without stopping and witness me hitting up my inhaler every 3 minutes. Which has been how most of the week has gone.

ANYWAY. So we are miserable of being stuck at home and I miss Zumba like crazy and actually was just watching videos of Zumba on Youtube last night (not doing it, because you have to be able to breathe to do Zumba...just watching) and I have been very sad to not get to work out at all this week. So this morning I decided that since it was bright and sunny and 60 degrees, I would mow the grass. This way I could get some exercise, be outside, but not be far from home in case I totally could not handle it. It was a great plan, and while mowing I noticed that this unusually warm winter has tricked all of the flowers into thinking it's actually spring...so they've decided to start blooming about 3 months early. Ugh. It totally stresses me out because I'm sure it's going to freeze again and then they will all die and it will totally ruin the spring bloom. But anyway. At least I had a chance to try my hand at flower photography!

...aaaand, the verdict is: I suck at flower photography. But hopefully I will get better before the real flowers start blooming.

Finally (I know, I had no idea this was going to be so long, either!), a little while ago I was perusing Pinterest and noticed that people were pinning this:

Source: crafterhours.blogspot.com via Megan on Pinterest

So I checked out the tutorial and it looked pretty easy, so I decided to real quick whip up one of my old t-shirts into a tanktop! You may recall that I have a huge shortage of tanktops in my life...

Cute, huh??! And yes, I should probably invest in some non-white thread. But let's be honest: even if I had it, I had NO interest in changing out the thread in my sewing machine and bobbin and all that nonsense. I'm just going to make a trend out of having white thread on bright tshirts. Whatever. So now this old tshirt that I'd stopped wearing can have new life in Zumba class. Whenever I go back. When I can breathe on my own again. Someday.

And don't even THINK about judging me-- the reason the bed looks all messy is because the sheets are in the wash! I make the bed first thing in the morning every single day! But not if the sheets are in the wash, because that would be a total waste of time to make it up sans sheets.

Anyway. Well, apparently I'm even more bored than I thought, considering how long I just rambled on about nothing. In conclusion: To properly entertain yourself for the rest of this weekend, you should a) change your phone language to French, b) make some salmon and green smoothies, c) try to improve your photography skills, and d) re-invent some nasty old tshirts. And bonus points for e) leaving me an entertaining comment so that I don't go absolutely insane spending the 28913th night in a row at home with only a sickie to entertain me.

Dinosaurs, Dairy Queens, and Desert Islands: Meet Amanda!

2012-01-27T06:00:00.000-05:00

It's been a pretty emotional week over here-- and can I get a high-five for posting SIX DAYS IN A ROW? Pretty sure that's never been done before (by me, anyway). Anyway, it's been loads of fun (love all your comments!!!)...but it's been all about ME. Which is generally fine by me, since it IS my blog and all. But too much me-me-me...it's just not good for your soul. So today, it's not about me at all-- today, it's time for you to get to know someone you may already know...but not as well as you're about to...

Today, I want to introduce to you the one and only Amanda Joiner!

And just like she doesn't play around with a hot chicken chowder, she doesn't play around when it comes to being interviewed.

Why are you interviewing her? you may be wondering. I'll tell you why. Because sometimes I think of hilarious questions, and when I meet someone who can provide up-to-par answers, I just feel led to INTERVIEW THEM. And put it on my blog. So that we can all have a good chuckle together. And you can make new friends!

So a quick glance around Amanda's blog will probably give you the basics on her current life, but this interview is intended to reveal the deeper things. The things you may not know. The things SHE may not have even known until I probed. The things that even-- dare I say it??-- her identical twin sister Allison might not know. I know, folks. We're gettin REAL up in here. So...on with the interview!

So Amanda, I think I've heard somewhere that you're an identical twin. That leads me to an obvious question: did you and Allison ever think about or plan to find a pair of identical twin boys to marry? And if yall DID find and marry twin boys, do you think you would have had a double wedding?

The rumors are true- I am an identical twin. Once upon a time, we read an article in a magazine about a set of identical twins that married each other. We thought this was really cool… until we got to the part about their respective children being genetically brother and sister (rather than just cousins). I think the dream died that day.

Even though we did not end up marrying twins, we did end up with college roommates, and once my mom realized that engagements were likely, she started pushing for a double wedding (double the fun, half the cost!). Apparently she was forgetting how much we both enjoy being the center of attention. Fortunately, Allison and Wade got engaged AND married before Brian ~~had the funds~~ was prepared to pop the question, so we dodged that bullet.

Hmmm...don't be so quick to knock the idea of you and Allison's children being genetic siblings. I personally think that would be a pretty fantastic perk! And a great conversation starter. But anyway, since you and Allison DIDN'T manage to find and marry twins, it looks like you're stuck with Brian and Wade. That's cool. At least the 4 of yall are still really tight.

So imagine you're forming a circus. There's a ringleader, a tightrope walker, a clown, and a lion tamer. Tell me which of you guys fills each of those roles, and provide justification for your choices.

You had me at, “imagine you’re forming a circus.” Ok here’s the breakdown:

Ringleader: Me, because I’m the bossiest one of the bunch. Don’t get me wrong- Allison gives me a run for my money, but ultimately she defers to my authority, so I would win that contest.

Tightrope walker: Wade, because he has the most self-control… and because he is tall and thin

Clown: Brian, because his silliness knows no limits when he’s trying to make people laugh

Lion tamer: Allison, because I have seen her when she’s angry, and trust me when I say that even a lion would bow down in fear if she unleashed her wrath :)

I guess Wade's lucky to have so much self-control if Allison is really as scary as you say she is. Well it sounds like you've gotten this circus thing all figured out, in case your day job doesn't work out. But let's get back to a less creepy and clown-filled topic: Weddings! So you got married back in 2007...what was your approach to wedding planning? Were you totally laid back, or more of a Bridezilla-type?

I, like all brides, had my Bridezilla moments (feel free to contact Allison for examples), but for the most part, I think I was fairly low-key. I remember being very stressed for a few weeks after we got engaged and then again during the last month leading up to the wedding, with the low point being the day that I broke out into a stress-induced case of the hives from head to toe approximately 3 weeks before the big day. That was special.

As far as planning went, I made it a point early on to limit my options for everything from venues to wedding dresses, because I wanted to make decision-making easier. All I can say is that I’m glad Pinterest was not around when we were engaged, because I think I would have lost my mind!

Um, no kidding. The wedding stuff on Pinterest blows my mind. So after the wedding, it's only natural to start adding to the family via pets. You and Brian have two dogs now, but here's the thing: if practicality were NO issue and real life was not a constraining factor, what animal would you like as a pet? For instance, I would choose a manatee. Obviously. What about you? Also, make-believe creatures are perfectly acceptable (dragons, unicorns, centaurs, etc.).

This is easy- I would totally have a real baby dinosaur! Of course, that’s assuming that an actual baby dinosaur is as (a) entertaining and (b) easy to manage as our current imaginary one. We would obviously have to train it not to eat our dogs… or any of the neighborhood children.

OK, not gonna lie: all of your imaginary children kinda freak me out. But that's okay-- different strokes and all that.

OK, the interview is about to take a sharp turn to the dark side. Just be aware. This is going to be really hard for you to imagine, but what if Dairy Queen were to go bankrupt and cease to exist? Where would you go to fill the dessert hole in your heart?

First of all, I’m not sure I would really want to live in a world without Dairy Queen. But if I had no choice but to go on living, then my go-to dessert place would definitely be Shake’s. There used to be one in College Station, and basically it is where I always went to eat my feelings during college. I actually like it more than Dairy Queen (don’t tell anyone!), but the closest one is 2.5 hours away in Austin. Tear.

Ooh...sounds pretty good. I guess it's convenient that you go to Austin like every other weekend or something. Sorry about making you envision such a sad world and all. But things are about to get happier!

Quick! Someone just gave you $100 cash and you have only 2 hours to spend it all-- anything not spent will have to be burned in a furnace after the 2 hours are up. Completely wasted. And you can't give any of the money away. It's only for you. Where do you go? What do you buy or do?

The practical side of me would spend it on an acupuncture session, and then spend the remaining $15 on something both essential and awesome, like Mexican food. The less practical side of me would probably say a massage and a pedicure. And if there was any money left over in that 2-hour window, then I would go get a DQ blizzard, obviously :)

I like that description of Mexican food: essential and awesome. I couldn't agree more. I'd say your money was well-spent.

On an unrelated note, would you rather be a Broadway singer/dancer/actress or an FBI agent? Why?

I guess an FBI agent because I am way better at stalking than I am at signing/dancing/acting. Thank you, internet, for giving me ample opportunity to hone that special skill!

That's true, I'll never forget the day you managed to stalk me down on Facebook and we took our friendship from blog-only to blogs, FB, emails, cards in the mail, G-chat, texts, phone calls and visits in person. Well, not all in one day...but that is basically how it progressed. All owed to your stalking skills!

So I've been thinking about this lately: what's your approach to buying embarrassing things at the grocery store? Do you profile the clerks? Try to hide the embarrassing item underneath less-embarrassing items? Just throw it out there in all its glory? Provide stories, if you have any.

My first approach is always to go to a self check-out lane, but if that isn’t an option (I’m looking at you, HEB), then I definitely go for the lane with the female clerk- and the younger the better, because the older women are nosy and have no problem asking personal questions. And yes, I try to hide the item(s) in between less embarrassing items in hopes that they won’t notice the box of ovulation predictor kits amidst the plastic hangers, birthday card, and bag of pretzel M&M’s. Come to think of it, I actually feel like I have had to deal with this semi-frequently thanks to infertility… like this special encounter at Walmart. Or there was this fun run-in at the grocery store with my sister’s boyfriend during high school.

Self check-out, eh? I was a big fan of that when they first came out...not so much anymore. But I do agree about the young female clerks. Definitely preferable for embarrassing items...not so much for coupons, though. Go for the young guys for that one.

So what is your personal favorite state? Least favorite state? Why?

Ok I am going to assume that Texas isn’t an option, because clearly that is the favorite state of anyone with a brain (was that too harsh?). My second favorite state is New Mexico, because we grew up going there for family camp (yep, for real) every summer. I have a lot of fun memories there with my family, AND thanks to my mom’s incredible Santa Fe shopping skillz, I also have a lot of fun jewelry from there as well :) Oh, and I like the mountains and cool weather.

My least favorite state is New Jersey because I firmly believe nothing good has ever come out of that state.

Now I never said Texas wasn't an option. But if you wanna go on and on singing the praises of New Mexico, I'm not going to stop you...even though whenever House Hunters is in New Mexico (the closest I've ever personally gotten to New Mexico), it's not usually my fave...but whatever. And I personally do take a little offense to the New Jersey comment...Real Housewives of New Jersey is absolutely a quality product of that otherwise-lame state.

So enough about states...more about desert islands!

You're somehow magically stranded on a desert island with ONE celebrity, ONE person-you-know-in-real-life-that-isn't-Brian-or-Allison, ONE book, and ONE frosty beverage that magically keeps refilling itself (and there's a spring nearby with abundant fresh water). Name your celebrity/person/book/drink. And you'll be off the island in a week.

This question was easier for me to answer than I expected:

Celebrity: Tina Fey. Or if she wasn’t available, then Amy Poehler. And I think the purpose is obvious – entertainment value.

Person I know in real life: One of my BFF’s from high school, Mary Margaret. We have been friends for almost 15 years, and even though our current life circumstances are not all that similar (she lives and works on an organic farm in Maine with her husband and does not consider facebook to be a staple of her every day life), some of my favorite conversations I have are with her. Also, because she lives so far away, I don’t get to see her often, so it would be fun to have a week to catch up uninterrupted… minus Tina’s/Amy’s comedic relief, that is.

Book: Pastor’s wife alert! I think I would pick a devotional by Beth Moore. Her books are fun to read AND thought-provoking. Bonus: she was a Chi Omega (my sorority). :)

Frosty beverage: I’m going to go with Sprite, because (a) that’s what I drink when I want to spice up my typical H2O routine, and (b) it would help settle my stomach if I had to eat strange island food, like insects. My second choice (if you were aiming for the alcoholic variety) would be a frozen margarita (no salt, please).

I was actually going for an alcoholic beverage, so I'm glad you threw that in. Who would want to be stuck on an island with only a SPRITE? Lame. Good call on Tina Fey, though. Maybe you could make it into her next book-- or an episode of 30 Rock!

Alright, it's about time to wrap this thing up with a more serious question: what's your favorite thing about blogging? Since you've been doing it regularly since August 30, 2007, I can only assume you like it...

Honestly, I just really enjoy writing! Yes, it is therapeutic to put my thoughts into words, and yes, it has been fun to make friends in the blogging community. But when it comes down to it, I have a lot to say and enjoy the process of coming up with a (hopefully) entertaining way to say it.

OK, the correct answer to the previous question was actually "meeting you, Erika!"...but I guess I'll let it slide this once. Writing is cool too, I guess.

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Well folks, that wraps up our interview for today. Hopefully you feel like you got to know Amanda a little better and were at least a little entertained. I know I was, doing the interview, so I guess that's really all that matters.

It's Friday, right?? Hallelujah. Go forth and conquer.

And if you think of any more deep, thought-provoking interview questions, feel free to send them my way. Or if you'd like to be my next interviewee-- let me know! I'm always looking for someone to tolerate my ridiculous questions!

Happy Friday, yall!!

what the deal is (part 3)

2012-01-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is Part 3 of a multi-part story: Go Here for Part 1 and Here for Part 2.

On Thursday, December 22, we headed back to Augusta for our meeting with Dr. X and Mr. D. We arrived in town super early, so we hung out at my parents' house for a few hours first. My mom was practically jumping out of her skin, she was so excited for our meeting. We, of course, were not nervous or excited at all. No way. Cool as cucumbers. Just another day, another meeting. HA!

The meeting itself went really well. Mostly Dr. X just explained how things usually happened: the chain of events that occur between him finding out about a 'situation' (mother in labor who wishes to place her child with adoptive parents but has not made any arrangements yet) and us getting a phone call, and then what to expect once we say YES to that call. There are a TON of variables, and that's what he spent most of the meeting explaining.

We found out more than I ever really wanted to know about the effects of various drugs on fetal brain development. And the lifelong implications that can occur as a result...

We heard some interesting tales about the lengths attorneys have had to go to to track down baby-daddies-- and learned about what happens when they can't.

He told us a lot of stories about a lot of families that he's helped. Honest stories. Some of them were happy-- some not so much. Gave us a lot to think about.

He needed to assess us, as well. He needs to know exactly what we a) want and b) are willing to accept, because when the time comes, he won't have a long time for us to hem and haw over whether this is a situation we can handle. Some of his questions we were prepared to answer (race, for example). Some of them we were not (how long of a NICU stay can you financially handle, since the baby will not be able to be added to your health insurance until the adoption is final?)

I really hate the inherent "choosiness" that comes with adoption. You know what I mean? If I were pregnant and found out that my unborn child had some kind of brain disorder, or Downs, or a birth defect, or anything-- then I'd deal with it. Track down the best specialist. Do what needs to be done. Gonna be in NICU for awhile when they're born? Then we're gonna be in NICU for awhile. It doesn't matter how much it costs. It doesn't matter if having a child with special needs isn't what I really 'wanted'. It's what I'd be getting, and we would love that baby no matter what, for as long as God let us hang onto him or her. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard-- but it would be our child, and as the parents, we would do whatever needed to be done. It doesn't matter if you like it or if you think you're "prepared" for it or whatever. It wouldn't matter.

But with adoption, you suddenly have a choice...and I don't really like it. I don't like thinking about these things. I don't like judging people or disorders or birth defects and saying "yeah, I'll take that one" and "no, that one sounds like a bit much." Doesn't it make you just feel sick to the stomach? Like a child with ___ is just...what? Not worth the trouble? Hey, they're not in my belly. Let someone else deal with it. I feel like that's what I'm saying, if I say "no, I would not consider a situation with _____ involved." Why? Because a child with ____ is less perfect? Doesn't fit in my personal schema about what the cute little American family looks like? Would inconvenience my adorable little life a little too much? Because my vision of having kids is more along the lines of playdates and walks in the park and not so much endless doctor's appointments and hospital stays?

Sorry for the tangent, but I need to keep it real here. This adoption story so far has been pretty God-breathed and chillbump-inducing, but it is still real. We are still regular old people who are now being asked to make some really tough decisions that I actually don't even want to make. I just want a baby. I want to be a family. I don't want to have to think about the laundry list of lifelong implications that come with whatever choices the birthmother was making during her pregnancy. I don't want to think about how there are some issues that no amount of good parenting and 'raising them right' can overcome. I don't want to think about that. But I'm having to. So this adoption thing isn't glamorous. You have to take a pretty brutal look at yourself...times two, because Matt and I are BOTH doing this thing. So...yeah.

These are the things we talked about at the meeting. Mr. D. answered some of the questions we had about process and procedure, and we were happy to find out that we do not have to have a pre-placement home study. This was great news, because I had been under the impression that would be required, which would mean at least 4 or 6 months or so until we could be available to get a baby. There was actually NOTHING really required of us that had to be done prior to placement-- other than select a pediatrician (and think about all of the things I digressed about above).

We left the meeting feeling good, but overwhelmed. Dr. X needed some of the information from us (things we couldn't answer at that time) before he could really start considering us for any cases he came across, so it was pretty much in our hands. Once we made some decisions and let him know, we'd be fair game to get a middle-of-the-night phonecall saying I think I have a baby for you. He asked another thing of us, as well-- and this was definitely the hardest part.

He asked that we start praying-- and earnestly mean it-- that God would either provide us with a child, or take away our desire to have one.

GULP. I mean, we did NOT want to pray that. Are you kidding me?? I want a child more than anything... and infertility has definitely been the hardest thing in the whole world, but I don't want to NOT want a child! So I'm not going to lie-- it took us a few weeks to be able to pray that.

He said that he asks all of the couples he works with to pray like that. Most of them go on to adopt. A few have actually gone the other way-- felt like God really did take away their desire to be parents, and they go on to spend their lives doing something else. Without regrets. Without feeling like they were forever missing out on something they wanted. I guess if you're going to be child-free, that's the only way I'd be able to do it. I couldn't just live like this forever: desperately desiring something I don't have.

Dr. X also needed a comprehensive list of Every Way He Could Ever Possibly Get in Touch With Us. Phone numbers, addresses, GPS coordinates...because when the time comes, he has to act fast. And he's had situations before where he really felt like this certain child was for a certain family-- and was not able to reach them-- and eventually had to move on to another family. YIKES. That isn't gonna be us. So he now has the phone number of basically everyone we've ever known, and you are all in charge of physically hunting us down in the event that you get called. We also sleep with our phone ringers on now, so please don't text or call me in the middle of the night unless it's REALLY IMPORTANT because I will hear it. Thanks so much.

So that was the meeting. It lasted around two hours, and overall it went really well. It also opened up about a thousand cans of worms, as you can see...stuff we've been thinking and working and praying through in the month since. Last week we finally got back to Dr. X with some of the information he was waiting on. We are now in the process of trying to officially "hire" Mr. D as our attorney-- whatever that means. Currently we're waiting on him to return a phone call...I guess then we'll see what happens next.

Officially, though, I guess you could say we are just waiting for a match! In our case, though, a "match" will most likely not happen until the mother is in labor, meaning basically no time between finding out we're matched and needing to travel to get the baby. That's why we've decided to start decorating the nursery and such-- plus, it just feels like something positive and happy to focus our thoughts and energy on. That room has been so empty for so long-- it stands as a constant stark reminder of what we don't have. I'm ready for it to be pretty. To show some signs of life. To be ready for a child-- the way that Matt and I are.

We don't really have a concept of how long it could be. Dr. X has no way of knowing, either. He has no control over when he will meet a birthmother looking for an adoptive family (although he said he typically does several adoptions each year). He did say that he doesn't just match the babies based on which couple is next in line-- he truly thinks and prays about each situation, taking into account each couple's wishes, abilities, and limitations. And leaving room for God to work. So in my mind, we could be called any day. We could also not be called for several years. There's no way to know. Dr. X encouraged us to continue pursuing any other adoption avenues we wanted to (agency, networking on our own, etc.). For now, we don't feel led to do that-- we're still feeling sorta 'high' from all of this craziness. Maybe in a few months, when we're back to being bored and frustrated of waiting, we'll start doing something more active again...but for now we're just going to wait. Kind of like for the past 3 years of infertility-- only now we have two miracles to wait on. A miracle pregnancy, or a miracle adoption. Either could happen. Both could happen! But whatever happens...we're going to have a family.

Thanks for sticking around for this really long and winding story. I wanted to write out all of the details so that I don't forget them one day. I like how all of these little things just "happened"...and it so obviously just points to God writing this story. One day, when we're telling our little one about how we became a family, I want to be sure to include all of this. The crying in the car, finally desperate to adopt. The 9am phone call from Mom. The wedding we just happened to be going to. The way Dr. X just ran into a friend who happened to be an attorney. Our baby is not just going to happen to end up in our arms, yall. This baby isn't going to be some consolation prize for failing to conquer infertility. Can't you see? This story just reeks of a higher purpose. Of things happening for a reason. Don't know what it is yet. But I bet it's gonna be good.

Operation Nursery: Curtain Ed.

2012-01-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

Yeah yeah yeah, I know...it's Wednesday and I am totally skipping out on Way Back When-sday...but I just have so much to say this week about stuff going on NOW! I can't stop to reflect back. No time for all that. Unless by "reflecting back" you mean reflecting all the way to last weekend, which is what we're going to be doing.

So we had big plans to get started on turning our super empty and depressing 'nursery' into...ya know...a place a kid might actually like to spend some time. For the last 3 years, it's just been hanging out, cold and empty. We never put furniture in there because we always knew it would be the nursery, and we didn't want to have to find new homes for furniture...so there it sits, holding Lola's crate, a card table, and not much else except for dust bunnies.

So we've started! Last weekend we finally managed to purchase fabric, coordinate and purchase paint, and make and hang curtains! Whew! It was awesome. And now the room feels less psych-ward-like and a lot homier.

Alright, enough chit-chat. PICTURES!

Before:

After:

EEEK, doesn't it look great??! I am super excited. It was SO HARD to find fabric that was bright and fun and GENDER NEUTRAL. I am a huge fan of this. Then the girl at the fabric store commented that it looked "almost Hawaiian, but not quite" and then I almost didn't want to buy it because I am NOT going for the Hawaiian look...but now I have convinced myself that she was just dumb and wrong and it is NOT Hawaiian, it is simply bright and whimsical and perfect. So keep any Hawaiian comments to yourself (unless you are offering to take me on a vacay to Hawaii, in which case I gladly accept).

Next project: somehow getting this fan out of its box and into our ceiling. And functioning. All prayers are accepted for this project.

what the deal is (part 2)

2012-01-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

This is Part 2 of a multi-part story (not sure how many parts, yet!)...start here to catch up.

It didn't take my parents long to assert that YES, their daughter and her husband would probably most definitely be interested in meeting with him, as they are exceedingly anxious to have a baby and also big fans of divine intervention, which is what this appeared to be (not sure if they said that part, but you know they were thinking it). He gave them his cell number and said that we should call him soon to set up a meeting.

"She will!" my dad promised. "But it just so happens that they will both be here tomorrow night for the wedding-- would you like to talk to them then?" [Ed. note: I mean, isn't it just too perfect that we 'just so happened' to be rolling in to town the next night? I mean, for real??!]

Yes, that would be good, Dr. X agreed. But we wouldn't be able to talk much at the reception-- we would definitely need to set up a meeting for the near future. But it would be great to get to meet us in person.

This is what my mom told me when she called. She wanted to give me a heads-up, and hadn't been able to SLEEP she was so excited to tell me. She had been counting the minutes until 9am, which was the earliest time she deemed acceptable to call people on a Saturday morning (PS I love my mom). My dad, on the other hand, had wanted to wait to tell us until we got into town to tell us. WHAT?? I am so glad my mom won that 'discussion.'

Naturally, this news thrilled Matt and I to the core. I mean, face it. Basically 5 days ago we decided (and by 'we,' I mean God) to pursue adoption. The next 4 days were overwhelming, because ADOPTION IS OVERWHELMING. We still wanted to do it. But we were buckling down for a long and harrowing journey, full of paperwork and social workers and blood tests and money. And suddenly, out of the blue, someone appears LIKE A FRIGGIN GENIE to offer a seemingly faster, easier, less stressful means to the same end? Someone who didn't even know we existed, but felt led to basically track us down via my parents? Are you KIDDING ME? If anyone out there seriously thinks all of this was coincidental...well, I don't know what to say. There's really no other explanation than God. But anyways.

Surprisingly, Matt and I are 97% excited and only about 3% nervous about the wedding-turned-adoption-meeting that night. We selected our wardrobes with care, knowing that you only get once to make a good first impression. In addition to looking drop-dead gorgeous, we also needed to convey that we would be good parents! Fun parents! Parents who aren't afraid to wear red lipstick to a wedding in December! (OK, maybe that was just me and maybe that has nothing to do with anything, but seriously, that lipstick was hot)

My parents made the introductions at the reception. Dr. X was taller and younger than I had imagined, and he told us many of the things he'd already told my parents. He explained how he came upon these adoption situations and how things usually played out. He told us that we would need to get an attorney. He told us a few things that we would need to think about and pray about and find out about (from our companies' HR departments and such) before we set up our meeting with him. But mostly he was warm and kind and had the kind of presence that made you feel like everything is gonna be okay. It was a good introductory meeting, in my opinion. We truly enjoyed the rest of the wedding and the weekend, feeling this special "can you BELIEVE what just happened???" buzz all along.

Matt called him Wednesday or Thursday of that next week. We set up a meeting at his hospital for Thursday, December 22.

On Tuesday night (the 20th), we had just been excitedly sharing our story and our news with Matt's family. We all prayed together, that our meeting would go well and basically that God's will would be done. We then left to head to a Mexican restaurant for dinner, as is our custom on Tuesday nights. While in the car, Matt's phone rings. It's Dr. X.

Are you KIDDING ME?? we thought. We JUST prayed about this and everyone was so excited...and here he is, calling to cancel. UGH!!! Can't ANYTHING in our lives go right??!??!

This is what we thought and said before Matt answered the phone. Like how full of faith and optimism we are?

Hi Matt, it's Dr. X...how y'all doing? Just wanted to make sure we were still on for Thursday...and also, it just so happened that I ran into a friend of mine, Mr. D, today. He goes to my church, actually. He's an attorney, and we got to talking. I was telling him about y'all and he has actually done private adoptions before. I told him about our meeting on Thursday, and he is available and would really like to come. Would that be alright with y'all? You certainly would not be obligated to hire him-- he just felt like it might be helpful if y'all had any legal questions or anything...unless you already have an attorney in mind that you'd like to work with, of course. What do you think?

Ummm...let's see, what do we think? What I think is that trying to find an attorney to hire sounds like the scariest, hardest thing ever. I don't know any attorneys in that town. I certainly don't know any who are experienced in private adoptions. And I wouldn't know how to even start looking for one. Google? So what you're saying is, you just "ran in" to someone who totally fits the bill, someone whom you know personally, someone who feels excited about our situation, who just so happens to be available to come to a meeting 3 days before Christmas for NO MONEY and NO PROMISE OF FUTURE MONEY?

Well, I suppose it would be alright if he came along. Just for kicks, or course.

We tried to contain our excitement and act cool and mature. I'm pretty sure we failed.

Are you KIDDING ME?? I mean, SERIOUSLY?? After three years of infertility and fighting nature and money and insurance companies and ourselves tooth and NAIL every step of the way, now THIS? Seriously some dude is going to 'discover' us and offer to help us and then all these other dudes are going to just come along and do the same? With absolutely NO effort on our behalf at ALL? In the space of TWO WEEKS? For FREE?

Pretty sure you could have knocked me over with a feather.

I'm pretty sure it's my friend Stephanie that says this (if not, it sounds like something she would say), but it was starting to feel like God was really just showing off.

To be continued...

pick me, pick me!

2012-01-23T12:09:00.000-05:00

Um, WOW. Thanks for all your kind words and encouragement from my post last night! My phone was BLOWING UP with all of your comments, emails, Facebook messages and texts...makes me really happy I decided to split "the story" into a few parts so that I can look forward to a few more days of this...ha! Don't worry, Part 2 will be posted tomorrow morning at 6 EST...just in time for your first cup of coffee!

However, before we delve back into the emotional and serious stuff, I thought I would remind you that I am about to be on my way to my FIRST EVER JURY DUTY. Despite coming down with some kind of mysterious illness yesterday (typical winter gunk: sore throat, earache, headache) and still feeling the same this morning, I am determined to get picked to serve this week. In case you can't remember WHY I want to be picked, it is very simple: free vacation from work + $25/day. Oh, and a deep, deep desire to serve justice in my county. Of course.

To help increase my odds of being picked, I selected today's outfit with care. I felt it would be important to look halfway decent and clean, like I am a person who pays attention to details and cares about life. However, I didn't want to look too stuffy, because I'm pretty sure 98% of my county is populated with rednecks, and I didn't want to look snooty or like I couldn't relate to what's up in town.

With that in mind, here is my first ever Outfit Of The Day: Jury Duty Ed.

Cardigan, ruffled tank-top, and shoes-- Old Navy; pants-- Gap; earrings-- Premier; ponytail-- Classic Erika, keepin' it real.

EDIT:
OK, so this thing apparently did not post this morning like I thought it did. Oops. That's okay, though, because now I'm home from jury duty and can give a proper update.

Apparently being selected for the jury has nothing to do with how cute your outfit is and everything to do with how far down on the list your name is. And my name was really far down, so I didn't even have a chance to get picked. :( :( :( Sadsies. I do have to call back tomorrow afternoon to see if I have to go back Wednesday, so there is still a little hope, but basically I'm assuming my jury career is over for this time. And I didn't even get $25. Ugh. There is NO justice, I tell you!!

what the deal is (part 1)

2012-01-22T18:42:00.000-05:00

OK people. Are you ready for it? It's obvious I've left like 99% of you in the dark and judging by the comments on my last blog, you're feeling the confusion. What happened, Erika? You overshare about EVERYTHING...now you're going to go all cryptic on us about maybe you're thinking about adopting and now all of a sudden you're decorating a nursery? WHAT HAPPENED?? I know. Keeping things under wraps isn't usually my style, but I haven't really known how to go about this one while both a) maintaining privacy of parties that wish to remain private, and b) not oversharing, because I feel like the details and the context are really important. So I'm going to try to tell the story (or at least start), and I will still try to keep important details confidential, but I will not bother trying to not overshare, because...I don't want to forget. One day, maybe a soon day, I will have a screaming baby begging for my attention, and I won't have time to write down how he or she got here, and I don't want to forget because I don't think any of this is a coincidence.

First, a primer on independent adoption (also referred to as 'private adoption'). Just go read this, it will save me a lot of typing. If you are too lazy to do that, then I will summarize: you do not have to use an adoption agency to adopt a child (in 45 states, including Georgia). If you are pregnant and want to place your child with an adoptive family, and you happen to know that the Joneses down the street are looking to adopt, then the two of you can get together and make a plan for them to adopt your baby. Throw in a lawyer and some paperwork, and you're good to go. (Note: if you actually do find yourself in this situation, please let me know, as I am the "Joneses down the street" so to speak) This is the essence of independent adoption. Cutting out the 'middle man' of the agencies, and cutting out a whoooooooole lot of paperwork. There are pros and cons to both private and agency adoptions...feel free to check the above link for some of them.

So December 6 was a Tuesday morning and I was driving to work. I'm like 1 mile out of town, minding my own business, singing Christmas songs along with the radio, and BAM. Out of nowhere, this thought pops in my head: I want to adopt. I am done with infertility treatments, I want to adopt. I want a child, I want to be a family. I want a child more than I want a pregnancy. I want to adopt. I'm not kidding- it came from nowhere. And when I say it "hit me," I mean-- I am BAWLING. The emotions that rushed over me were unbelievable. This is exactly what I had been waiting for: for years now, I've been 'weighing the options.' IVF...adoption...IVF...adoption...pros and cons sheets, thinking it through, mostly wanting pregnancy more than anything. I have certainly been open to adoption. But I didn't really desire it. And I had prayed, on many occasions, that if adoption was what God had for us, I was going to have to want it. To want it more than pregnancy. I couldn't start an adoption journey halfheartedly. I needed to crave it.

So here I am, driving and crying and a hot mess because I felt like I suddenly knew what I wanted. I called Matt and he thinks I was probably in another wreck, what with the heaving and sobbing and all-- but no, I'm all "I want to adopt a baaaaabbbbyyyy..." and he's like "are you sure you're okay? Are you okay?" "Yes I'm fine I just want to adoooopppptttttt" and once he's convinced I'm not lying in a ditch somewhere, he's like "well then let's do it!" because he has been wanting this for years, unlike me.

So from that moment, we are people on a mission. We are going to adopt, so let's get this party started while the emotions are running hot! We research agencies. We start debating different things. I write a cryptic blog. We think. We plan. We don't really share it with many people-- not because we don't want to, but ya know...we're just busy. We're researching. And it didn't come up.

So Saturday morning, December 10, I wake up to a phone call from my mom. We were heading to Augusta later that afternoon for a wedding, so I wasn't terribly surprised to see her calling at 9am...probably wanted to tell us something last-minute to bring or do.

Well, not really.

As it turns out, the night before she and my dad had been at the rehearsal dinner. While there, they found themselves sitting at a table with an acquaintance they knew very casually: as in, had met a few times, but knew very little about-- and the not-knowing went both ways. They chit-chatted, and before long this gentleman (we'll call him Dr. X) was inquiring about whether they had any grandchildren or were looking forward to any on the horizon. My parents said that they did not; they would be excited when that day did come, but there were none in the immediate future. Dr. X asked again-- none? Neither Jake or Sarah? Not thinking about it?

You see, Dr. X didn't really know I existed. Like I said-- he was a casual acquaintance. He knew of my brother and sister because he'd seen them at events before. As far as he knew, those were the only kids in my parents' clan.

Well, since he was asking, my mom shared a little more. No, Jake and Sarah-- neither of them are thinking kids. But we do have an older daughter-- she and her husband have been married for over 4 years. And they would love to have children. They have been trying for a long time, but they have some problems, so they're sorting through their options. They are desperate to be parents-- and when it happens, we will be the happiest grandparents in the world. We can't wait for that day.

At this, Dr. X seems to relax. He smiles a bit. How long have they been trying? he asks. A year or two?

Well, no...it's been three, my mom tells him. They are waiting on a miracle. They are also considering whether they may like to adopt.

[IMPORTANT DETAIL: My mom didn't know about my revelation earlier that week. I was going to wait and tell her in person when we went home. So this was just a reference to our months-long back-and-forth about 'maybe adopt, maybe not' dilemma.]

Dr. X seemed to like this final sentence. Thinking about adopting, are they? I had a feeling they might.

He goes on to tell my mom some very interesting information, and I'm going to have to leave out a lot of details, but it goes something like this:

Dr. X has a job that puts him in a position to help 'matchmake' private adoptions. This is not his "job," and he receives no compensation. It is something that the Lord has led him to do for the last 25 years, and it is something he has a great passion for: placing babies with couples who long to have families. He usually has a handful of couples that he is working with, and when a situation arises where a baby needs a family, he prays about the situation and God nudges him towards the couple that are right for the situation.

I realize that if you do not believe in God or prayer, this probably sounds a little loco. If you're us, though, this sounds like the most amazing thing you've ever heard of.

He does this because he feels that the agency adoption system is so vast, expensive, and scary that it deters couples from wanting to even try. He has known many couples who want nothing more than to become parents, but are unable to because of infertility and then the (real or perceived) barriers in the adoption 'system.' And he comes upon birth parents that, for whatever reason, are also not interested in making an adoption plan through an agency. He puts 2 and 2 together...after a lot of prayer.

In 25 years, he has never had an adoption reversed.

He tells my mom a few more things, and also mentions that, as this is not his job, he truly cannot help very many couples: each situation is simply too involved and too time-consuming and emotionally draining. He frequently has couples approach him and seek his help, and he turns almost all of them down. He waits on the Lord to show him the couples that he is supposed to help, and that's all he can do.

"So I was wondering," he told my parents, "if your daughter and her husband might be interested in working with me. I want to help them find their baby."

To be continued...

this & that

2012-01-20T20:05:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm blogging on a Friday night. Because that's the kind of person I am. And because I've sucked at blogging any OTHER days this week. And I don't even have any one cohesive thought. Tonight, it's random tidbits for you.

1. I've started using the My Fitness Pal app last week and I LOVE IT. It was totally random that I even started-- I am not on a "diet" or anything, per se. I was just Googling around one day last week, trying to find a way to figure out how many calories I burn at Zumba, and it led me to some of the message boards on MFP, which led me to poking around the site, which led to downloading the app, which led to LOVE LOVE LOVE. I have never been on a diet or done the calorie counting thing before...I basically just eat pretty healthy and work out regularly and hope for the best...but for some reason I think this is the most fun thing ever. We'll see how long the attraction lasts. The main thing that bothers me is trying to figure out how many calories are in stuff I make homemade...like my (self-invented recipe) chili I basically live off. Am I seriously supposed to figure out how many calories are in each fraction of the turkey, pumpkin, corn, beans, onions, etc. that make it into a portion? That blows my mind. Anyway. You should download the app. It's loads of fun if you're a control freak like me!

2. I have my first ever JURY DUTY on Monday!!!!! If I sound super excited, it's because I am. I've been registered to vote for over 11 years! And this is my first summons! I have great visions of how awesome it could be, even though I do realize it will most likely be really boring and lame and I'll get dismissed quickly. But hopefully I'll at least get $25, right? And a day off of work for free? I just don't see how this could be bad. (Also, I have convinced myself that even if I DO get picked to serve, it can't be for anything THAT scary/sad, because to my knowledge there has only been 1 murder in my county in the last year, and it was only a few months ago and won't be going to trial any time soon...therefore, any case I actually have to hear should be relatively non-traumatizing. Right?)

3. We have embarked upon Operation: Decorate the Nursery!!! I know!! It is very exciting. But since you just never know when we might get the call...which will mean your baby is BORN, come GET IT in our case, it won't be some 6-months-notice kinda thing...it looks like we might need to have a place for said baby to crash! So we're having fun making plans for our white-walls-white-carpet-boring-everything "nursery" and spending our afternoons at fabric stores and thrift stores, because naturally I don't want to do anything the easy way. Here are some rooms inspiring us right now (naturally, it will have to be gender-neutral):

Source: ohdeedoh.com via Erika on Pinterest

Source: stellaandhenry.com via Erika on Pinterest

Source: livethefancylife.wordpress.com via Erika on Pinterest

Source: google.com via Erika on Pinterest

As you can see, I'm a big fan of the light gray walls with bright aqua (and other shades of blue) and lime (and other shades of green) accents. BIG FAN! Speaking of fans...we have to put one in that room. The ceiling kind. That should be exciting. So we spent our afternoons this week visiting all 3 fabric stores in Athens and being really indecisive about what fabric we want (I want to make curtains and the crib skirt, for starters)...then once I finally decided on The Fabric, I decided to calculate how much it would cost for the 16 yards I would need for the curtains. HAHAHAHAHA. Even though I had a 50% off coupon. HAHAHAHA. I walked away with no fabric. Whose genius idea was it to charge that much for FABRIC??!?! Of course, I will go back and get it eventually. Because the pre-made curtain selection in this world is totally lame and my baby deserves nothing but my crafty best! Even if it costs like a week's pay...

[EDIT: OK, I did not realize this until AFTER I hit "publish" and was re-reading the post, but instead of just deleting my original thinking, I thought I'd leave it up for posterity. I do not actually need 16 YARDS of fabric. I need 16 FEET! Luckily for me, that will be substantially cheaper. No wonder I was so sticker-shocked at the store! Feet, yards...math has never really been my strong suit. Maybe I will get the fabric tomorrow!]

Tomorrow we are hitting up the thrift store/church yardsale scene (since it's supposed to be pouring all day, making outdoor yard sales not sound very attractive)...I am hoping to score a dresser that we can paint and make look awesome (like in that top picture).

OK, enough blabbing about decorating the nursery. But I'm sure we can all agree it's preferable to whining about infertility, correct?? So just be thankful for that.

4. I need to join the rest of the human race and read some popular teen fiction. Should I start with the Twilight series or the Hunger Games? Follow up question: do you have copies of either that I can borrow, since the library is perpetually checked out of these (at least whenever I check, which isn't often)?

5. In addition to planning The Nursery (favorite pastime #1), I have started dreaming about the flowers I will plant as soon as it is socially acceptable to start planting. Trust me, the Yard Situation 2012 is going to be FAB. I have big dreams, people. Big ones. My vases shall runneth over. And I have the Big Girl Camera, remember? So this year you can start preparing yourself for Flower Picture Overload. Fair warning.

Alright, I think that's enough to catch you up on where my mind's been this week. Back to your regularly scheduled Friday night activities! Happy weekend!

dear bravo,

2012-01-17T21:59:00.002-05:00

Dear Bravo,

I would like to humbly ask that you do not actually have the season finale of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills next Monday as originally scheduled. The problem is, I might die of a broken heart if I don't get to hang out with my girls from the 90210 every week. I'm going to have to insist that you immediately get back to filming them and subsequently filling up my DVR with the best hour of television a girl could hope for every week. I laugh, I cry-- I can't let you end this season. I really can't.

Please reconsider.

Love Always,

Erika

PS. Please also consider making me wealthy, moving me to Beverly Hills, and casting me for the next season.

PPS. Anyone have any suggestions of shows that can fill the void in my heart until RHBH comes back?

blah (and a farm photo shoot)

2012-01-16T17:46:00.004-05:00

So apparently I've decided to neglect my poor little blog in 2012. Unintentionally, but alas...it appears I have.

I am so tired and blah right now. I have a lofty goal of overcoming this in the next hour and twenty minutes and going to Zumba...we'll see how it goes.

We went on a little "retreat" this weekend (leadership team at church annual planning retreat) to a farm in a nearby town. The same farm where the Chili Cook-off is each year, if you recall. The house can best be described as "it looks like Pinterest exploded in there." And it was built in 1790. And it's awesome. So anyway, we spent the weekend out there and it was very peaceful and farm-animal-filled.

It was also OMG OMG BEING SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE 24/7 OMG OMG. Although on this blog I probably sound like I'm the life of every party, in real life that is basically the opposite of the truth and I much prefer to spend my time curled up alone or with Matt on a couch, PRETENDING to be social, versus actually being surrounded by people all the time. I like my people in small to medium-sized doses. So going on retreats is a very stretching experience for Matt and I.

See? PEOPLE, PEOPLE EVERYWHERE! And food. Lots of it. Yummy.

And then we can pause for a little reflection on America. Or something.

Wanna know about a really horrible and miserable game I play in my head that I'm getting really good at? This is a True Life Glimpse into the mind of someone who is probably not the best example of Dealing Gracefully with Infertility and Childlessness. OK, here's how the game works. Find a group of people. Listen to them talk. Guess how long it will take for the conversation to turn to pregnancy/childbirth/child rearing. If you guess 5 minutes, you lose, because in my experience it's usually closer to 30 seconds. Of course, once the conversation has made The Turn, your options as a miserable infertile person are limited. Pretend to be interested? Run off crying? Try to find another conversation to lurk in and start the game over? Who knows, all of the options are as bad as the next.

[Necessary addendum: Don't feel bad if you like to talk about your kids or your pregnancy/childbirth. I would, too. It's not you, it's me. Probably if there were a group of infertile girls all hanging out, every conversation would turn to infertility within 30 seconds. I just need to find a better way of coping with life as it is. Especially when I'm sleep-deprived.]

Now that you know about my sick mind games, let's move on to a brighter topic: Farm Photography!

Naturally, every girl with a non-famous blog dreams of being like Pioneer Woman. Fame, fortune, and a chaps-wearing husband? Sign me up. To get me started on the path, I figured I'd better get good at taking pictures of cows, since that's what got Ree started.

Behold, my first ever COW PHOTO SHOOT (with some people thrown in for good measure, just so that you know I do actually LIKE people, despite what it probably sounds like).

Hello, big ol' cow! (Note: I was using a zoom lens. Although I would have gotten this close if they'd let me)

Mollyanne is a fan of the cows slash a fellow cow-whisperer (they would let us get pretty close to them, since they knew we were friends and not foe. Probably because I loudly declared that I was a vegetarian (a lie)).

These people were not so much cow whisperers to start with. (Jonathon, Derek, Holly, Matt)

Then Matt embraced his inner "Matt"ador. (HAHAHAHA I am so funny. Matador? Get it?)

Awwww...presh.

Jonathon eventually got in touch with his inner cow lover.

But these two are just not cut out for farm life. I entitled the above picture "Two City People on a Farm." Holly talks on the phone, Derek inspects his shoe for cow poo. Or does an Irish jig. One of these.

I very much enjoyed our cow-hunting expedition, and after that we spent some more of our free time playing games and chatting. And riding recumbent bikes?

You just never know WHAT you might find on a farm. Apparently riding them is harder than it appears (I didn't try...SOMEONE has to be the designated photographer.)

Look at the concentration required!! Hilarious.

So all in all it was a good weekend, but there wasn't a whole lot of sleep involved. Immediately upon arriving home this afternoon, I slept for 2 hours, and have spent the next several hours catching up on important reality TV and blogging. And now I have 30 minutes with which to put on correct apparel and get myself to the gym...as Matt hollers the countdown every 5 minutes: "We're leaving for the gym in 20 minutes!" "We're leaving for the gym in 15 minutes!" Blah. Men.

PS. Question for people who know stuff: I've filled up my first camera memory card. I have plenty more, but my question is...isn't it okay to just delete all the pictures off the current one and use it again? All the pics are uploaded onto the computer and backed up on my external hard drive. Is there any reason to not delete and reuse the card? Is there anything special I need to do other than hit "delete", like reformat the card or something?

PPS. Anyone have any good salmon recipes? Particularly ones that make salmon not taste like salmon, since I don't like how salmon tastes? Feel free to share...

the brokedown knee saga

2012-01-11T12:08:00.002-05:00

Way Back When-sday—woohoo!

Did you know I had knee surgery?

Yep, it’s true. Back in y2k (for real: the year 2000), I hadsome pretty serious surgery reconstructing my ACL and meniscus in my rightknee. In case you were thinking about going in for some knee surgery just forgiggles sometime soon, let me be the first to warn me: you should not do that.It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Not even slightly. And in case you stillaren’t convinced, then I was thinking that maybe a little photographic ~~limp~~ walk down Memory Lane just might do the trick.

Maybe it will help to know that this surgery took place onAugust 15, right before my senior year of high school started. This meant I’dspent the previous 3 months enjoying nothing but sun and fun and weeks andweeks of band camps. Hence the killer tan. See it and weep.

Here I am right after surgery (judging by my hospitalgown…). Ahh…the delicious drug-induced post-surgery sleep…

This is me attempting to look awake. And mostly failing. Andawkwardly grasping a stuffed cat someone brought me in the hospital.

Look, my friends came!! These should be some familiar facesif you paid any attention to my picture a few weeks ago: Chris and Jessica aresharing the chair, Patrick is all lonely, sitting alone. (Please note the SonicRoute 44 slushie on my tray. Looking through these photos made me realize Icould play a “Where’s Waldo?” type game with slushie cups. Apparently I was afan.)

After 2 days in the hospital, they let me go home. There Iproceeded to live on a couch downstairs for the next long while. Apparently Iwasn’t much better at not-passing-out, though. (Note: in another picture ofbasically this same shot, you can spy a slushie cup on the floor next to me)

BOOM!! Fatty cankle! Thanks to my mother for the “1 week& 1 day” sign so that we realize that my leg actually looked and felt wayworse AFTER surgery than it ever did before. OMG THE SWELLING.

Did you ever wonder how people with massive leg braces andbrokedown knees got their hair washed? Now you won’t have to wonder anymore.

Gaining my independence again. Crutches, aka the WORST THINGTHAT COULD EVER HAPPEN TO YOUR ARMPITS. Forget the leg pain, all I rememberabout the weeks on crutches was OMG THE ARMPITS. Raw. Swollen. Bloody. Armpits.You’re welcome.

And we’ll end on a positive note with the BEST thing aboutbrokedown knees and huge leg braces:

Yes, they are as fun as you might imagine. (Did you see theSonic cup in the basket?) Fun fact: several years later, while home on breakfrom college (and obviously my knee was completely rehabbed), my friend Dustinand I would take the ol’ knee brace out to various stores, slap ‘er on, and gofor rides on motorized grocery carts. Yep. We’re just that exciting.

Come to think of it, I STILL have the brace. If you’re everlooking for a rip-roarin’ Friday night, just let me know…

So, what inspired me think of this fun and exciting periodof my life as fodder for today’s post? Oh, maybe the fact that at some point onSaturday, my knee started hurting. And swelling. And not being stable. And callme a hypochondriac if you will, but I immediately diagnosed that probably myknee is busted again and I will probably have to have surgery again and onlynow it is 11.5 years later and it will probably be way worse, the recovery waylonger, and I won’t even have a tan. Not to mention we’d be footing the(considerable) bills ourselves. So I’ve been semi-limping around, NOT going toZumba, and just generally feeling sadsies for my poor broken knee (still slightlyswollen, still not stable).

And on THAT happy note, I’m off to watch The Wild andWonderful Whites of West Virginia, prop up my knee, massage myphantom-pain-feeling-armpits, and try to con Matt into getting me a Sonicslushie. (Does it help to know I’m actually typing this on Tuesday night?)Later!

something beautiful

2012-01-07T22:46:00.000-05:00

Yeah, that's right. I'm calling this post the same thing as my blog TITLE. Betcha didn't know you could do that. But I just did.

I'd like to think of it like this: you know how sometimes an artist will name their CD the same thing as one of the tracks? (Tangent: do they even make CDs anymore?) This is kinda like that. Only I named the CD 4 years ago, and today I'm writing the title track.

Today my friend Diana came over to craft. Being a good houseguest and friend, she came bearing gifts. Gifts of the crafty persuasion. Like vintage postcards. Some random scrapbook circles in 'my colors.' A fabric tree project she'd given up on but thought I might like to rescue. And some hymnals.

Hymnals, you see, are quite the crafter's dream. This crafter, anyway. The uses for those beautiful pages of music and timeless poetry are endless. And it turns out that she brought the very same hymnals that I grew up using (The United Methodist Hymnal, anyone?)...so this, in my opinion, is THE hymnal. At least I know where to find things. Ya know, before I cut them up and decoupage the crap out of them. (Note: I saved one of the hymnals to actually like, set on the piano and use. I have been wanting one of these for my own home for years! Then I felt less guilty tearing up the other one.)

And that's exactly what I did today.

A lot of tearing and Mod Podge-ing.

We're messy crafters, I guess. Look at that dining room. At one point I made the mistake of referring to it as the "craft room," and Matt let me know-- in no uncertain terms-- that it was a dining room and is not and will never be a craft room. Duly noted.

My craft isn't finished yet, so there are no pictures of a final project to brag on. But you can see what I was doing. Now I have a hymn-covered canvas.

But in order to make said canvas, I first had to find a bunch of suitable hymns to tear up. Sure, I could have just used the first 20 pages or whatever. But I'm going to be hanging this on the wall (or something). I wanted them to be hymns that I particularly love. So I hunted them down.

Which meant a lot of time spent flipping through the 962 page hymnal. And as I flipped, guess what I found?

JUST GUESS!!!!

Yep, yep it is!!

A hymn named after my blog!!!!!

Who knew?!!

Wanna know the lyrics? (Can you call the words to a hymn 'lyrics'? It sounds disrespectful.)

Something beautiful, something good;
all my confusion he understood;
all I had to offer him was brokenness and strife,
but he made something beautiful of my life.

That's it. The whole song. And also, ya know, my hope and my prayer. That's all.

To say I was slightly excited when I found this would be quite the understatement. Luckily, Diana was equally jazzed at my find.

And no, I did not tear that one up. That one's a framer. Or something. Something...beautiful, dare I say? Haha.

Anyway. And don't you fret-- of COURSE I am going to learn to play it on the piano and then make a music video of myself. And never post it here. You can just imagine how awesome it will be.

So, that's my happy story for the day. In addition to discovering the Best Hymn Ever, I did some Quality Crafting, enjoyed Hanging With a Friend (not to be confused with the game app of the almost-same name, which I also enjoyed), and successfully repainted (okay, watched Matt repaint) the laundry room. I'd call it a good day. And now...good night!

career day

2012-01-06T07:32:00.002-05:00

Okay people. It’s about to be your big chance to DOLE OUTTHE ADVICE. To me, of course. So get excited!

I’m currently in the process of trying to Figure Out What ToDo With My Life: Career Edition. I figured since I’m almost 30, it’s about timeto start thinking about that. Ambitious, I know.

Since my main #1 goal for my entire adult life has been toBe A Mom, preferably of the staying-mostly-at-home variety, it’s easy to seewhy Finding A Career has never been a huge priority. And it still isn’t. But seeingas Momhood hasn’t exactly worked out for me so far, and I will probably need tocontinue being employed for the foreseeable future, I may as well think ofsomething awesome to pursue. My pursuits will, however, be of thepart-time/do-it-at-home variety. Because when I’m a mom, of course, I will notbe wanting to be hauling my butt across town to spend 8-5 somewhere else everyday. Also, even though I am NOT a mom at the moment…I still would prefer to notbe at work every waking moment. Because it doesn’t leave a lot of time to doall the other things I actually want to be doing. SO! Now we move onto the funpart: Things I Might Like To Make a Living Doing.

These are in absolutely no order whatsoever, and as youwould expect, I will provide way more details than is ever necessary about myqualifications/thoughts about each ‘career’.

Financial Advisor. A very specific kind of advisor, though. I know absolutely nothing about investing, stocks, 401(k)s, and all that junk. I am more of a budget advisor slash tell-you-like-it-is about why you so BROKE advisor. Those are my personal strengths: being frugal, making budgets, and being bossy. I have really enjoyed helping friends and co-workers learn to live within their means and make better choices about the stuff they spend money on. Basically I memorize everything Dave Ramsey says and then just quote that, but don’t tell that to my future clients who are going to pay me top dollar to set them straight. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Financial Advisor: I’m pretty sure you have to have some sort of degree or certification to do this. Also it might be helpful to know about actual financial things, which I do not. Also, broke people probably don’t have enough money to pay me to help them with this stuff…

Flower Bed Designer/Maintainer. This is not to be confused with a landscape architect or lawn maintenance person. And this is a spring/summer/fall-ONLY position—I do not want to spend any unnecessary time outdoors when it is cold. But I would like to help people decide what kind of flowers/shrubs to plant around their houses and then do that and then do simple things like weed/maintain the beds. I like doing this stuff and it appears that most of my neighbors do not, so maybe they would like to pay me to do it for them! Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Flower Bed Designer/Maintainer: You probably need to know a lot more about flowers, and also most of the stuff I plant dies and people probably don’t want to pay me to watch their flowers die, shrug my shoulders, and go buy another $2 plant at Lowe’s.

Zumba Instructor: OK, I know I’ve only been taking Zumba for a month, but I am totally in love with it and in my own humble opinion, I think I’ve got what it takes. Except for the cool Zumba workout clothes, but I can buy those. The certification process to be a Zumba teacher is scary-easy, and seeing as how every Zumba class in town is packed full every night of the week, it seems like there’s demand. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Zumba Instructor: I’m not Latin, and I’m not very bubbly/outgoing. I’m mostly just bossy and it bothers me when people keep messing up the simple steps. And I don’t particularly care to have people watching me dance.

LSAT Prep Instructor: So I took the LSAT (Law School Admission Test) back in the day, and I did pretty well: well enough to qualify to teach prep courses for Kaplan or Princeton Review. There are TONS of those positions available in Athens, seeing as there’s a law school at UGA and all. You make really good money and set your own hours (see also: Zumba Instructor). Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be an LSAT Prep Instructor: I didn’t do any prep for the test myself, so I have no idea how to tell another person how THEY should prep for it. I don’t know if I would like teaching college students. I think my score has expired, so I would probably have to re-take the test myself before I could even apply for a job…which would be really ironic, I think.

Life Coach: OK for REAL: I LOL every time I hear of this “job.” LIFE COACH?? But since it apparently IS a job these days, I think I should be one. I like to tell people what to do and how to do it and I like to be nosy about the details of peoples’ lives. Please note that I do not like to do any of these things unsolicited, otherwise I would be an entirely inappropriate human being. But if you wanted to PAY me to do these things for you? Shooooot… Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Life Coach: I could never take myself seriously when I introduced myself as a “life coach.” I think I would die laughing. Also, it might seem hypocritical for someone who is almost 30 and has no idea what to do with her life to be telling other people what to do with theirs.

Author: I don’t really know what I want to write about…I just like the idea of it. I could basically spend my days lounging around coffee shops, park benches, and my sofa, passing it off as “oh, I’m working on my next book.” That sounds pretty sweet. I think I would like to be the female version of either Donald Miller or John Steinbeck. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be an Author: I don’t have anything to write about. Also, I’m pretty sure authors spend about 99% of their time being broke. Maybe I can just do my authoring along with another career.

Paralegal: It seems like a nice happy way to satisfy my lawyer dreams…none of the pesky courtroom trials or law school debt, all of the fun researching and writing papers. I’ve heard you can do it on a freelance basis, too. Lots of things sound appealing about being a paralegal. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Paralegal: None, really…except I’m not sure what the demand is for them. Especially the freelance, work-from-home ones. And I’d have to get some sort of schooling or certification, but that shouldn’t be too bad (see: LSAT instructor).

Blogger/Crafter: The only difference between this ‘career goal blogger/crafter’ and what I currently do is that I need to start making money. Basically I would like to maintain my current life, minus the going to work for 8 hours every day. And I would like to continue to make greater than or equal to the same amount of money I currently make. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Blogger/Crafter: If it was so easy to make money doing this, I would already be doing it.

Advice Columnist: This is some kind of hybrid between Life Coach and Author. People have problems, I have answers. Bonus: You don’t have to put “Life Coach” on your business card. Might be able to take yourself seriously. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be an Advice Columnist: Uhh…the world is full of people telling you what to do for free. Pretty sure no one wants to pay for that.

Beach Tester: You know…the person that has the grueling job of testing out all the beaches (resorts/amusement parks/ski lodges/etc.) in the world and then writing articles about the Top 10 ____ for Yahoo or making a show for the Travel Channel? I want to be the one making those tough decisions. Reasons I Might Not Be Able To Be a Beach Tester: Kind of hard to test beaches from home, since there isn’t a beach in my living room. Also, I get airsick. And I might get too tan.

Well, that’s about it for now. If I think of any more greatpotential careers, I’ll be sure to update you. In the meantime…which one do youthink I should pursue? Can you think of any other jobs (real or imaginary) thatI might be good for? Do you want to share your life/budget (real or imaginary)problems with me so that I can get good practice for my Life Coaching/AdviceColumn-Writing/Financial Planning careers?

toes in the sand

2012-01-04T05:30:00.000-05:00

Howdy, friends.

Did you know that the high temperature here (this is GEORGIA, if you need reminding) yesterday was like THIRTY FIVE? That was the HIGH. For a point of reference, over the weekend the highs were in the upper 60s-- much more acceptable temperatures, if you ask me. And then all the sudden it's 20 degrees overnight and barely cracking the freezing point during the day? Thanks, but no thanks.

It got me thinking about one thing:

Nice warm beaches...and my toes in the sand.

And then I started humming this little ditty by the Zac Brown Band: Toes.

And then I watched the video, which goes from entertaining to ridiculous pretty quickly...but I still sorta love the song. Or at least the refrain: I got my toes in the water...ass in the sand...not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand...life is good today. Life is good today.

And then I became extremely aware of how freezing my OWN toes currently were. And I cursed this stupid cold weather. And then I thought about my friend Kristina, who currently resides in West Palm Beach, Florida...where I'm guessing (based on her daily tweets of beach pictures) it is not exactly 35 degrees. And then I decided to go spend Spring Break with her (after she promised to teach me how to use my camera and also pledged to help me find some manatees to stalk).

And then all THAT got me to thinking about one of our past spring breaks: 2006, to be exact. We took a road trip to Florida in search of warmth and beaches and sand, and we found them. And life was good.

Look!! We had no GPSes and yet we still made it! Miraculous!

Ahh...such a great trip. Look at those toes in the sand (mine are the big ones, haha).

Screw you, freezing cold Georgia. I'm gonna find me some sand.

is it copping out? or just a tradition?

2012-01-01T19:53:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, blog world! Welcome to 2012, also known as The Year I Will Turn 30 on 12/12/12. Be prepared to be reminded about that a lot. I realize my birthday was just like 3 weeks ago, but I am SO FRIGGIN EXCITED about the 12/12/12 thing that it's basically all I can think about.

At least it's better than whining about infertility, right?

But don't worry, whining is why you know and love me. So I won't let you down in this new year. To kick things off, I have a tradition to continue-- the Year End meme thing! At first I was thinking it was totally a cop-out to do this thing again. Then I realized...maybe it's not a cop-out...maybe it's a tradition. After all, this will be my third year doing it...it'd basically be a crime NOT to fill it out. Even if it is basically an exact duplicate of last year's answers. Even if nothing has changed. Even if that's REALLY depressing to realize and think about.

Ugh. Let's roll, kids. If you ~~have no life~~ would like to review my answers from past years, head over to 2009 and 2010.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Went rock climbing, went on an airplane with my husband, met my blog BFF in real life, got a Big Girl Camera, Zumba..I'm sure there's more, why don't you just go reread the whole last year's worth of blogs if you're interested? ;)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I made any last year, which means I probably did not. I don't really plan on making any this year, either.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Did anyone close to me NOT give birth? That would be a better question.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Well, sort of. I wasn't personally super close to them, but some people I love were. My brother-in-law Tom's parents passed away last summer.

5. What countries did you visit?

The good ol' US of A! I think I managed to see Georgia (surprise, surprise), South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Texas this year.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
Hmm, let's see...a baby? A six pack? (of abs, not beer. I already have a 6 pack of beer.) How about some photography skillz? Oh, I'd like to have 100 followers! That would be cool.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
No particular date is standing out right now...but I bet I know what date from 2012 will stand out: 12/12/12!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving it? Not kidnapping a baby?

OK, on a more positive note: I achieved CRAFTINESS this year. I'm pretty proud about that!

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't feel like I've been a particularly good friend the past (few) year(s). I guess it's a combination of being sad/jealous/stressed out/tired/overthinking/at work. I'm better at being open and honest on a computer. But I should work at being a better friend in real life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Eh, just the usual. A few sinus infections, asthma flareups, ruptured cysts, MRSA...nothing special.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Definitely the camera. Or the smartphone. Or my glue gun.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Matt, who is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Umm...the jury of the Casey Anthony trial. Appalling.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Truthfully? Probably to our mortgage. But that's boring! Ha. It FEELS like most of our money went to acupuncture, even though it was not really all that much (in the grand scheme of things).

15. What did you get really excited about?

Crafting. Going to Texas. My triphasic chart. Getting our camera. Adoption.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?
The songs that I used on my brother and sister-in-law's wedding rehearsal slideshow I made. I had to listen to them 28293493 times in order to time everything perfectly on Kizoa.

I won't bore you with listing them all; they were mostly country and I can probably safely assume I'm the only person here who likes country music (besides my brother and his wife, of course).

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
(a) happier or sadder?
I don't know, probably happier. I am feeling really encouraged about adoption right now. But don't worry, give me a few weeks and I'm sure it will wear off! (Pessimistic? Or just realistic?)
(b) thinner or fatter?
About the same, I guess. I would personally describe it as 'perfection.' (HAHAHAHA)
(c) richer or poorer?

Richer, I guess. Woohoo! Go me! I got about 3 quarters bangin' together in my wallet...

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Working out...I got a little less hardcore this year. But now that Zumba has entered my life, I feel myself being re-excited about working out! Also...I got Zumba shoes for Christmas. Just sayin.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Sitting at home feeling sad.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With Matt's family. It was wonderful! I am so especially thankful this year for my wonderful sister-in-laws who I adore spending time with. And Baby Timmy's not so shabby himself...

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
I am possibly a teensy bit in love with Baby Timmy. Come on! You look at those cute cheeks and try not to be in love with him, too!!

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Definitely my BFFs the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and New Jersey.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Nope. I don't think there have been any additions to the Hate List.

24. What was the best book you read?
Jane Eyre. I can't believe I didn't read that until this year!

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

N/A. I don't make musical discoveries.

26. What did you want and get?

A Big Girl Camera, a smartphone, a trip to Texas, 2 massages, a Handy Nabber, a few mani-pedis, and the Spiritual Gift of Craftiness.

27. What did you want and not get?
BABYBABYBABYBABYBABY. I also did not win the lottery even though I played I think 3 times. And with said lottery winnings, I would have bought a baby (via IVF or adoption, of course. No human trafficking here!).

I also wanted to move to the Middle East and did not. But I'm okay with that (for now).

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I am currently struggling to recall ANY movies I saw this year. I do remember seeing Black Swan and thought it was equal parts disturbing and excellent. OH!!!! I went to the movie theater (the REAL ONE, not the dollar one) (because she got free tix) with Mollyanne and saw The Help! It was great.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Appropriate that this is question 29, isn't it? I turned 29. And I just went to look for my Birthday Recap post to link up to it and then I realized I NEVER WROTE ONE. And that is a tragedy, because it was a great day! We went to dinner with some wonderful friends and took lots of ridiculous pictures, so I am obviously going to share a few right now:

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Uhh...probs a baby.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Comfortable. And sometimes cute.

32. What kept you sane?
Blogging. For realz. Crafting. Pinterest. My BFFs.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Umm...Kate Middleton? I was a big fan of the royal wedding, as you may recall.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Other than the total and complete hot mess that was the Casey Anthony jury (which actually has nothing to do with politics, but is one of the few Current Events I kept up with), I pretty much did not care about any political issues. I know there were a bunch of folks with their panties in a twist about something who were busy occupying a bunch of places, and I didn't even care about that until someone almost mugged me next to the Occupy tent in downtown Athens, and then I decided I hated all those Occupying people because they could not be bothered to rescue me. That was about as political as I got this year. I am going to try to be even less political next year, what with it being an election year and all (guess who COULDN'T CARE LESS about that, either??!!) .

35. Who did you miss?
I miss my friends that live far away. And the ones that live near but that I still never manage to see.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Meeting Amanda J. in real life, most def!

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
God is good because He is good...not because He gives me everything I want.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
You're rich in love and You're slow to anger
Your name is great and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find
(10,000 Reasons- Jonas Myrin & Matt Redman)

Oh I'm sorry-- was this even LONGER than the other years? Sheesh, I thought we would never finish. If you made it to the end-- great is your reward.

Yep, that's your reward. A picture of some fungi growing on a dead tree stump with a mountain stream in the background. I took the pic on Friday, when Matt and I took a day trip to go hiking in the mountains! And now this picture is your great reward. LUCKY YOU! Happy 2012!

final card stats, 2011

2011-12-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Well folks, the final Christmas Card Stats are in. Or at least, they should be. If I receive any more cards after this point, it is going to be stretching it to call them "Christmas" cards. I know you are probably biting your nails waiting to find out the final breakdown of my cards, so we'll get right to it!

Total Number of Cards Received: 21

# of Photo Cards: 14
# of Non-Photo Cards (in case you're not a math genius): 7
# of Cards from Georgia: 9
Card Hailing from Furthest Away: Harlingen, TX (1,178 miles away) beat out Carrol, Iowa by about 100 miles. Way to go, Alejandros!

The following categories apply to PHOTO CARDS ONLY:
Black & White to Color ratio: 3:11
# of Cards with Kids (not counting kids in utero): 11
# of Cards with ONLY Kids: 2
# of Cards with Pets: 1 (let's try to do better on this one next year, people)

I think that about sums it up: if you can think of any other statistics you're dying to know about, feel free to ask.

And while we're at it, here's what our card looked like:

I'm sure it came as a real shock that I used that picture. It's only my FAVORITE PICTURE OF US ever (this year)...which is why it's featured in my blog header and pretty much all profile pictures of late. I'm tan, bangs are looking good, arm is at a MOST flattering angle, I'm wearing my favorite dress...seriously, what's not to love.

Putting away the Christmas cards is always sad, but I look forward to pulling them all out again next year (yes, I save them every year) and seeing the friendly faces once again.

And if you have nothing else to do today, I suggest YOU take inventory of your own cards. It's very entertaining (if you're a dork like me)!

PS. Happy Birthday to my bestie Mollyanne!! Go over to her blog and show her some birthday love if you have a minute!

since last Friday...

2011-12-29T10:34:00.001-05:00

Seriously, it's been almost a WEEK since I last wrote? What kind of person have I become? I'll admit-- I was almost tempted to keep not-writing until after the New Year...simply because then my number of posts for 2011 would stay a nice, even 150. 150 posts!! That's pretty good! But I guess it'll be 151 or 152 or something, because I didn't want to wait that long to write again. I might forget what I've done with my life for the last week.

So, Christmas! It's done with now, yes? It was a good one...lots of time with family (which is what I've been doing all week while I'm busy not-blogging), way too much food, excellent presents, hitting up the after-Christmas sales...good times.

Here are some of the highlights:

1. Santa Butt pants. On Timmy, of course. Not me. Not nearly as cute on me.

2. Watching Tom go into ULTIMATE NERD MODE with his favorite Christmas present: a BOOK OF FORMULAS. I am not even kidding. I looked at the book. It is full of equations. And he was SO EXCITED about it..."I already have seen some equations I can use to do ___"...I mean, FOR REAL. It was the funniest thing ever. I guess that's why some people have PhDs in electrical engineering and some people teach 4 year olds how to rhyme. Different strokes.

3. Timmy's reindeer suit. It's one of the cutest things ever.

4. Playing around with aperture settings. Here is an example of what not to do: make everyone and everything look blurry and ghost-like.

5. Example of what TO do. Focus on one thing and make background lights look like glowing orbs. Sweet!

6. Back at our own house (although we haven't spent but like 5 non-sleeping minutes there in the last week) it is like Dog Central. We are keeping my parents two dogs while they travel, so that brings our total Dog Count to 3 (if you're not a genius like my brother-in-law Tom, I thought I'd help you out with the math there). Let me just say. Three dogs (in my house) is TOO MANY. Approximately 2 too many. And the 2 visiting dogs are SMALL...way smaller than Lola...but still. That means 12 paws going CLICK CLICK CLACK CLICK all over our floors, which then echoes throughout the house, and when you multiply it with the high ceilings and take the derivative of the sound of 3 dogs barking and playing...let me consult my Nerd Book...carry the 7...um, yeah, it's about 2812048 decibels ALL THE TIME.

There are a few sweet moments like this. But not many. Take Home Message? I'm thankful we have only one dog, and this should effectively squash any "I want another puppy!!!" desires for at least a few weeks. Also, the thrice-daily potty walks times three dogs? And it's been RAINING NONSTOP? Loads of fun. Awesome.

7. We ate lunch here:

...but instead of telling you where "here" is, I'm going to make it a POP QUIZ!!! Woohoo!! If you live/have lived/have visited Athens (and had a half-decent tour guide), then this should be the easiest quiz ever (no formula books required!). Question 1: Where was I? Question 2: What did I eat? Leave your answer in the comments. People who were actually there with me at this meal are disqualified, so you can just leave your comment about something else. Winner gets a great prize, like maybe I will go eat lunch with you at this place (didn't say anything about PAYING, though).

8. I've been playing this game:

source

Yall, Hanging With Friends is the funnest game EVER! Technically, I've been playing this game since like October, but my Play Time has definitely increased on this Christmas Break. Hanging is superior to Words, in my opinion, because it's WAY LESS STRESSFUL and a turn doesn't take like 30 minutes. So that's why you should download it and start a game with me. My user name is ErikaB1212 if you want to play me...although you should be warned that I sorta suck at it.

9. Matt went to Zumba with me on Monday! It was the most entertaining thing ever. After class was over, I asked him how he liked it. He had very sad eyes and said "I give myself a D." I give him an A for effort, personally. And an A for making me want to laugh my head off. He was very cute.

10. I need to take down "Christmas." :( Obviously I am procrastinating this by blogging, but it needs to be done. It's much better to do it now, when I have the time to do it well, then to wait until I go back to work and then just throw everything in a box and hope it sorts itself out by next year. I bought some more storage tubs at Target yesterday, so I'm hoping that all my accumulated crafts will fit...this weekend, Matt is going to put up more shelves in the garage so that hopefully we will actually have a place to PUT the new tubs full of crafts. Ay yi yi.

11. Last night I got to hang out with part of the Spectacular Seven! AKA my BFFs from high school...if you're not in the know.

L-R: me, Dustin, Elizabeth, Christopher, Michael, Jessica, Patrick

We did take a picture last night, but I don't have it yet, so a picture from 2003ish will have to do. Last night we got to enjoy hanging out with Patrick and his wife Brooke and baby Charles (they currently reside in Iowa), Christopher and his wife Katy (currently reside in Greenville, SC), and Jessica (currently resides in Augusta) (and myself and Matt, obvs). I had a blast, and it was MUCH more my idea of a good High School Reunion than the one actually hosted by my high school a few months ago (and attended by a few of the folks above, who filled us all in on it last night). We did miss our friends who weren't there, though. :(

12. OK, the procrastinating must end. CHRISTMAS MUST GET CLEANED UP. And also I should probably like...shower. Or brush my teeth. Or something.

Or not. I'm still on break!!! Woohoo!!!

life and pictures and stuff

2011-12-23T22:48:00.000-05:00

Hello, long lost friends. I suppose I should be thankful that most of my time the past few days has not been spent in front of a computer screen...instead, I've been actually interacting with real live people!!!! and that's something to be thankful for. But I do miss blog-land. (Note: just because my face has not been stuck in front of my computer screen does not imply that it hasn't been stuck in front of a lot of other screens, including but not limited to: my phone screen, camera screen, iPad screen, and a movie theater screen. I've been diversifying my screens, you see...)

My sister- and brother-in-law are in town for Christmas, which means the famous Baby Timmy is in town! This means most of my free time has been spent securing my spot as Most Favorite Aunt. Here's part of my game plan:

...But don't tell any of the other aunts (all 1 of them). I have some pretty sweet moves and can usually always get Timmy to smile. One thing he really likes?? Having his picture taken!

Therefore Amy and I have taken it upon ourselves to reenact every single Famous Photo Idea we've ever seen on Pinterest. I consider it to be a 'famous' idea if basically everyone I know has repinned it, including people who don't even have or know any children. You may recognize these pictures as the Really Cute One with the Baby Boy wearing Nothing But Daddy's Tie. They turned out REALLY well, but I will not be posting the 'full shot' unless Amy gives me express permission to, seeing as it's her child and he's naked and all. But this shows you how cute he is, anyway!

Basically I should have a career as a baby photographer, don't you think?? Timmy thinks so.

Matt and I also tried our hand at posing with random Christmas decor. It was great, except for I couldn't stop laughing.

And in other notable family news, I finally got my Christmas present from last year...long story, but I've basically been hanging onto an IOU for 363 days...but I shall wait no longer, for today I got it!

A painting of my one and only beloved daughter:

Isn't it amazing???! It looks EXACTLY like her. I am SO happy with it and it makes me almost excited to take down the Christmas decorations because I'll get to find a place to put it!

In other news...hmmm...let's just see here...

Oh yeah, maybe I'll just throw it out there that yesterday we went to another city for a very exciting meeting with two individuals (we'll call them...MD and JD...and the initials represent their degrees/professions) regarding arranging a private adoption.

Huh? What? Yeah, I know, me too. I guess when God decides He wants to do something, things can start to move fast. Like when people you've never heard of find out about you and your situation and feel so strongly that they are supposed to help you that they take 2 hours of their time to meet with you 3 days before Christmas (for no pay)...yeah, that actually just happened. To us.

So fa la la la la...our hearts are happy. We don't have a baby this Christmas, but we are so full of hope and joy that we just may explode. It's a really good feeling...to know that God hasn't forgotten you. To know that there is hope. To know that you will be parents, even if it's not by the method you'd originally imagined. To know that miracles come in many ways...and to think that maybe finally your dreams might come true.

A very merry Christmas to you...

a very biker christmas

2011-12-21T07:49:00.002-05:00

WHOA. Sorry for the blog absence here lately. As I've mentioned before...I'm slightly not ready for Christmas, so this week has been spent working, spending time with family, Zumba-ing, and also trying to start my Christmas shopping. Basically, I'm swamped.

But not too swamped for Way Back When-sday!

WAY BACK in 2004, I was a senior in college. My sister was a senior in high school. My mom was a senior in...life (HAHAHAHA just kidding Mom!! Not that you read this!!). We decided to take the traditional Family Pictures on Christmas Eve.

Apparently leather jackets were all the rage (in our house) that year. And bad Christmas sweaters. Yikes.

Can we all just agree to never let our fathers buy those 'progressive' tinted glasses or whatever the heck they are? Because looking like you're wearing sunglasses indoors on Christmas Eve? Not cool.

I would like you to refer to more recent pictures as evidence that my family has made great progress on the fashion front since ~~Biker~~ Christmas 2004.

And that's all we have time for today, folks, because SOME people gotta drive to work. Boo. Have a very happy last-few-days-before-Christmas, and in case you were still stumped about what to wear to your next Christmas dinner/party/church service...may this post serve as a reminder that probably your Black Leather Coat is NOT IT.

'twas the weekend before Christmas

2011-12-17T21:27:00.000-05:00

Is it seriously the last weekend before Christmas? Seriously? Really? Because I have exactly ZERO presents underneath my tree. Wanna know how many presents I've bought Matt? Zero. Unless you count the camera, which was sorta a gift-to-each-other thing...but we're supposed to be buying other gifts for each other, too, and I've already told you how THAT'S going. Despite being not remotely ready for the gift-giving part of Christmas, I'm not stressed about it in the least. It'll get done...or it won't, and that'll be fine too. It'll be a good time to remind people that "Christmas isn't about the presents!"Haha, wouldn't that be a jerk move? Okay, also you should know that we've already DONE Christmas with my family...so it's not like I haven't done ANYTHING. All of those presents were wrapped...and are now given away. But our tree does look really sad, all present-less.

So what have I been doing this last weekend before Christmas, now that I've admitted how unprepared I am for Christmas? Well...obviously, procrastinating some more! Last night I hosted my first ever Girls Being Crafty night! Basically it was an excuse for some ladies to hang out and/or eat and/or work on some crafts. Not terribly organized (I most certainly did not plan some organized group craft for everyone to work on together...it was BYOC)...because that would probably stress me out. I just wanted people to come over to my house (it's no small drive) and be happy.

Side note: last December, I decorated my house as per usual. And at the end of the month, when the house had been decorated for the whole month, I realized that not a SINGLE PERSON besides Matt and myself had been inside our house to see the decorations. NO ONE. Maybe the UPS guy had glimpsed the inside when he dropped something off, who knows. But not a single friend or family member ever came over. And it's not anyone's fault but my own. But don't you know I cried for like 3 days over that travesty? So this year, I was determined: SOMEONE BESIDES US WILL SEE AND ENJOY MY DECORATIONS!! That gave me extra encouragement to try and put together some sort of social get-together to ensure it would happen.

So anyway, some girls came over and there was food and craftiness and good conversation and so I considered it a success. But the night was not without drama! And I'm not talking about the girl kind. I'm talking-- my corkscrew BROKE!!!!!! As in, we had no way to open up the wine!!!! You should have seen the faces of horror as we realized our predicament. Luckily, our friend Google had many suggestions on how to get out of this pickle. Please witness the winning idea: using a screw and hammer, and a lot of brute strength.

Yes, I realize my nails look awful. I am currently accepting sponsors for a manicure.

VICTORY IS MINE!!!, saith Erika.

And that is the extent of my pictures from Craft Night. Apparently my craft was not working on my photography. I am not even done with my craft yet. If it doesn't suck, I might show you later when I'm done.

Today, after sleeping until like...lunch...we did some necessary chores and then got fancied up for a wedding. Yes, we have had weddings two weekends in a row. Because our Christmas budget was like, SO OVERFLOWING WITH FUNDS, we were like...anyone? Is there anyone else who we could buy gifts for?? Please?? OK not really, it was just a coincidence. This was a 3pm wedding, and even thought we had loads of crap we SHOULD have been doing before that...instead, we decided to have a photo shoot with ourselves, courtesy of our tripod and self-timer that shoots continuous pictures!! Woohoo!

Um...who was in charge of that above picture, anyway? Could they have PICKED a brighter, squintier spot? I think not. Sheesh.

So...verdict on having a home photo shoot with self-timer and tripod? SUPER FUN. WILL DO MORE OFTEN.

So then we wedding-ed (after a very stressful experience at Bed, Bath, and Beyond, which I do not care to re-live again) and then finally bit the bullet and did some Christmas shopping. Whilst wearing our wedding clothes (see above). One store we went to was Home Depot. I'm guessing they don't see people as fancy as us very often there. We got some stares.

So GUESS WHAT? In the time it's taken me to write this blog, A PRESENT HAS APPEARED UNDER MY TREE! I guess Santa Matt has been busy. But for some reason, one lonely present looks even more depressing than no presents, haha.

Oh yeah!! You should go visit my friend Kristina's blog: she did a cute tutorial about making DIY silhouette ornaments, and guess who she used as her model? LOLA! I know, my sweet little baby is moonlighting as a model. And also it is one of her PUPPY PICTURES...which are about as adorable as you would imagine. So you should go check it out and die of the cuteness.

this is actually how i spend my nights.

2011-12-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

So I know I've probably never mentioned it here before, but I'm learning to take pictures with a real camera!! I know, I know...shocking. And I can't decide if it's just proof of how boring my life is, or if it shows my dedication to my new hobby, but I seriously spend many nights doing nothing but taking pictures. You are so lucky I've restrained myself (mostly) from boring you with the results of these evenings.

But today your luck is up. Today you get to see PICTURES! But I promise that they are at least semi-entertaining, and two of them are actually GOOD (by my standards)!

So last weekend when we were in Augusta, we celebrated Christmas with my family. Like all good 'grandparents', my parents thoughtfully include Lola in the gift-giving. Or rather, the gift-receiving. That Lola...she is BROKE. She never remembers to buy other people presents. Jerkface.

Anyway, one of Lola's presents this year was a toy that seriously made me LOL. Literally. It's a ball with a mustache/beard combo attached to the front. Like...what's the world's obsession with mustaches and beards lately? I don't know, but I support it- especially when it's really ridiculous like on dogs or babies. So in theory, if Lola would hold the ball in her mouth correctly, it would look like she had a beard and mustache. Only she kinda sucked at that part, and mostly preferred to hold it by the beard or mustache.

So Wednesday night we spent a good long while playing and trying to convince her it was most fun to hold the toy the RIGHT way. We mostly failed. But I got a few pictures anyway so that you can almost see what the toy is supposed to do.

Her preferred play pose.

Almost right here! Just slightly the wrong angle. You can barely see them, but there are little fangs that stick out beneath the 'stache. I'm not sure if these are supposed to be regular dog fangs or if the makers of this toy are also trying to cash in on the vampire popularity. Either way, it's cute.

See?? Cute!!

OK, after we tired of the new toy, I focused on trying to get some good pictures of my girl. The following are officially the Best Pictures I have of my daughter. LOVE THEM.

Isn't she beauuuuuutiful??!?!? I know, I know. I can barely stand her cuteness myself.

OK, enough of my dog. One day maybe you'll get lucky and these will be pictures of a kid instead. Keep praying!

So that was Wednesday night. New dog toy. Pictures.

Last night (after I nearly died at Zumba) we had a lot of baking to do. Treats for the neighbors and my co-workers. And we waited til the last minute, naturally. So last night was Bake-a-thon 2011. I was in charge of the AMAZING OREOS (I could think of a more descriptive name, but that really sums them up quite nicely) and Matt made 3 loaves of banana bread. We're a formidable team in the kitchen, for sure!

First up was the Oreos. Matt was in charge of crushing up candy canes...

...while I prepared all the other ingredients.

White chocolate, and plenty of it.

This is what they look like when I'm done:

Yes, they taste as good as they look. I also made a batch with regular (semisweet) chocolate. You'll see a pic of those in a minute, so hold your horses.

In the meantime, Matt whipped up the banana bread. It's my mom's recipe (aka the BEST BANANA BREAD EVER), but I really don't have the patience for making it. Matt doesn't mind it, though, so...it's officially His Job.

Are you ready for the next picture? It's me with one tray of the Oreos. When I saw this picture, I thought "this is the most me picture I've ever seen." Here I am in my sweaty workout clothes, greasy hair pinned back...and I'm having some sort of jealous love affair with chocolate-covered Oreos. Yep, that's me.

How I want people to think I am:

How I really am:

Welcome to my real life. And keep your hands off my Oreos!!

Christmas Decor 2011

2011-12-15T16:21:00.002-05:00

My halls are decked this year. Well, not halls...technically, we don't have any halls in our house (wasted square footage, I say). But walls/tables/shelves/doors/patches of floor? Decked.

This could have something to do with my new obsessions with Pinterest and crafting...possibly.

And just the fact that every year I manage to accumulate a few more Christmas-y 'things.' That naturally means that each year is better-decorated than the previous year. And that in about 2 years, I'm gonna have to move for lack of space to store all this junk the other 11 months of the year. Ay yi yi.

Anyway...if you're new here from Kelly's Korner or Nester: hi! Welcome! And it may help to know that I just got my first 'real' camera a few weeks ago and my current level of photography skill is 'bless her heart, she tries.' Come to think of it, so is my crafting and decorating...so if you are looking for a posh and professional inspiration blog, this ain't gonna be it. But it is my house and I rather enjoy it, so if you can deal with my semi-bad pictures...we can be friends!

So...on with it!

I took 2,810,938 pictures trying to get a good tree pic. It's not happenin. None of the tutorials I pinned actually helped me. Maybe next year. It could be because our tree is in a really awkward spot in the room. Our house was NOT designed with a Christmas tree in mind...something I will remedy in our next house. I MUST HAVE A GOOD SPOT FOR A TREE (and this isn't it).

Right, so...the tree is behind the couch, blocking the piano. Awesome, right?! Plus it means you can never actually SEE it if you're sitting on the couch. If we actually had Christmas morning in our house, this would be bad news. Since we don't...it's just something to complain about on the blog. :)

I always love my piano (and all of its awesome 70s-ness)...but come Christmas, I really love it. Its shelves allow me so many spots to place random knick-knacks and decor I wouldn't otherwise have a place to set! Score 1 for the piano!

You might notice some reoccurring elements in my decorating (as pictured below): Jars of sparkly balls. Book trees. If you recall, I went a little bit crazy with the book trees this year. And then I figured out how to sew cute stars to go on top? Done. Sold. I WILL COVER MY HOUSE IN BOOK TREES.

Looking over at the other side of the tree, towards the front door and coat closet.

On top of this bookshelf lives the nativity my Nana got in Israel. I know, my nativity just beat your nativity. Sorry! To the right of the shelf you will see a little bit of randomness inspired by something I pinned (surprise, surprise): an upside-down tomato cage I wrapped in lights and tinsel. Fun!

Here's the view from the kitchen:

Mantel, complete with MORE BOOK TREES. You may also recognize my beloved stick tree!

That concludes the bulk of my Christmas decor. Other than that I just have little 'touches' in each of the other rooms:

Wreath in the kitchen dedicated to our alma mater.

Greenery with tiny ornaments in mason jars in the bedrooms and bathrooms.

Yarn wreath on the front door.

Christmas houses in the dining room.

Last but not least...

This may not be remotely attractive, but it is Christmas-related and arguably the most useful thing in the house right now:

My gift-wrapping station in the ~~friggin empty, wasted-space that should be a nursery if only we weren't barren~~ spare bedroom! It's a mess, but a useful one. As you can see, Lola approves (and there's proof we even have wreaths on the outside of our house!).

Ok. That was probably more pictures than you ever needed or wanted to see. If you've made it all the way to the end, congratulations! Leave a comment and I will mail you a book tree or something. :)

the year i got 50 snuggies

2011-12-14T14:28:00.002-05:00

It's Wednesday again!

And a BUSY Wednesday it is...I have a million things to do. Really important things like Clean House so that I can Take Pictures for Friday's Kelly's Korner "Christmas Decor" blog carnival. Oh, also because a lot of people are coming over to my house on Friday. But mostly so that I can take pictures. In the daylight.

And I need to go to Zumba tonight. Because I think I am becoming a fattie sloth. And now that I'm 29, it's time to not let myself go. Hopefully I'll be around for a few more years...it would be nice to fit into my clothes for the duration of my time left.

ANYWAY. Remember a few years ago when Snuggies were all the rage?

Apparently I've been a sloth for quite some time, because I guess it was one of those things where everyone I have ever known saw those commercials and thought "I HAVE to get one of those for Erika!!!!! They were just MADE for her!" Which was mostly true...not gonna lie, I love me a Snuggie. But it just so happened that I received MANY Snuggies that year. I also gave a few, because...ya know, who doesn't love a Snuggie?

Incidentally, Snuggies make for really funny pictures. Enjoy!

Me and my dad, auditioning for the Snuggie commercial

Now this little brown number is a personal favorite of mine. I believe it is called the Cozy 3-in-1? It's the best...except that when you wear it, your arms are pinned down. It's super soft, though.

Snuggies even work outside! Who knew? Not that our blazing fire wasn't keeping me toasty enough...it's just that sometimes you just need that extra mile of warmth.

My main issue with Snuggies is where to keep them. They don't exactly just lay over the back of the couch like a regular afghan (well they could, but they would look dumb). They're awfully bulky to put in a basket with other blankets (not to mention GAUDY and would NOT work with my decor). But then...in a closet? I never remember they're there.

Dilemmas, dilemmas.

Happy Wednesday!!

so long, 28-ville

2011-12-11T20:55:00.001-05:00

Well, I must say: My last weekend of 28-dom was pretty fantastic.

We went to Augusta for the weekend to attend my sister's best friend's wedding. Did you follow? Basically I've known this kid (er- 25 year old woman) since she was in diapers with my sister and our families have been close forever...which merited me spending my last-weekend-of-28 celebrating in my hometown.

It also gave Matt and I ample opportunities to practice taking pictures. And let's just be honest: we have a LOT to learn...because for the life of us we could NOT figure out how to make the pictures from the reception (aka in a fairly dark room) look right. They were either orange and blurry (from no flash or using the 'night' setting) or totally washed out (flash!). So...bummer. But that's beside the point. The main thing is that the weekend was great, the wedding was beautiful, the bride was ridiculously gorgeous and had the hottest shoes I've ever seen, and my date and I didn't look half-bad ourselves.

That was before the wedding and proves that natural light is the winner when it comes to taking pictures. Also-- sorry if my RED LIPS are hurting your eyes, but I needed them to match my nails and my shoes and also they made me happy so you can just deal with it. :)

The second best part of the wedding (besides Lindsey getting hitched) was that my WHOLE FAMILY was there. This basically never happens and, in fact, has not happened since our LAST wedding (which was Jake's) in June. So this is no small thing. Luckily, they were all happy to pose for or with me for pictures.

Here's Emily (Jake's wife) and I (example of no flash/blurry) (please notice my shoes and congratulate me for wearing them for 4 hours before I changed into flats!):

Oh sorry, do I look like I'm about 7 months pregnant in that picture?? Maybe I was. PREGNANT WITH CRABCAKES. Because the crabcakes were flowing like wine (and so was the wine, incidentally)...and I did not hesitate to partake. And if you've ever seen me and crabcakes...well, it's a sight to behold. Kind of like me and corndogs. Or me and anything chocolatey and pepperminty. Or me and a lot of things, because apparently I'm a fan of food. Anyway. Crab cakes! So good!

Then I spent about 2.5 hours taking pictures of my sister, because she is a very expressive person and when she tells stories it looks like this:

The food was good, the bar was open, the band was excellent...

And then I took my shirt off??!??!! Oh wait, no, I didn't. It's just that when Emily took this picture, she proved that she has not learned the fine art of Not Making People Look Naked. It's okay. We had a good laugh about it. Please know I still had my dress on.

Are my dad and sister cute or WHAT?

And finally, the moment we all (or my mom, at least) had been waiting for: the Family Picture.

Do you like Mark's fancy duds? That's because he just completed Army Ranger school and is a FREAKIN ARMY RANGER now. Um, yeah. So don't mess with me. Or him, either. Basically I taught him everything he knows...

So last night was late and fantastic. Today was spent lounging around and celebrating both Christmas and my birthday. And eating...as if you had any questions about that. Look at us. Do we look like we're starving? No.

Anyway, I got lots of good loot (CAMERA STUFF) and took lots of bad pictures (NEED TO LEARN TO USE CAMERA STUFF) and just generally had a merry old time celebrating my Last Day of 28.

Coming tomorrow: old age, a few more presents, and a fun dinner with friends!

Christmas Card Stats 2011:
# of cards received: 7
B&W to color photo ratio: 2:5
# of cards with hand-written messages: 2
# of cards with pictures of kids on them: 6
# of cards with pictures of pets on them: 0 (very disappointing, folks)

change of heart

2011-12-08T16:21:00.001-05:00

While driving home this afternoon, that song came on again.

Ya know, the song. The Christmas song that drives me crazy? Until the day I had a change of heart about it, a few years back? And then I blogged about it and got all serious and cheesy and it was pretty bad but pretty true anyway. Feel free to refresh your memory if you're feeling lost right about now:

Meditations on a Song that Drives me Crazy (December, 2009)

For the record, every OTHER version of that song (except the Mercy Me version I was talking about in the blog) still drives me crazy. But I really do like that one version. Still. Funny how you can not be a fan of something your whole life and then one minute later, feel completely differently.

That's not the only thing I've (we've) had a change of heart about lately.

Nothing I really wanna get into just yet...but the ol' rusty hearts are a-changin'. Towards things that have previously been a "no way, not me, not now..."and are now more like a "why not me, why not now?" or even maybe "I kinda really want this...finally."

Could I be any more intentionally cryptic (and yet not)? I doubt it. I'm just not really ready to throw it all out there yet. But we're talking...and praying...and thinking...and researching. And maybe making a new plan.

And wait-- could it be??

Yes! I do! I have another really cheesy Christmas song that previously drove me crazy and now makes me cry! And it goes right along with our newest change of heart. And I tried to find the cheesiest video of it ever, for your supreme enjoyment. You are so welcome.

(Note: I do not think the kids are cheesy. It's the playing-guitar-in-the-gently-falling-snow.)

So...that's that, I guess. Happy almost-Friday (and last Thursday of me being 28)!

baby's first christmas (1982)

2011-12-07T07:42:00.001-05:00

Yup...it's Wednesday, which means it is....

Oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah.

In honor of the season, I thought I'd share some very meaningful pictures from Baby's First Christmas. And since I do not actually have a baby of my own (did you even realize that??)...naturally, the baby will be myself.

Since my birthday is next week (December 12!!!)...if you're any sort of mathematician like myself, you can probably calculate that my first Christmas was approximately 2 weeks (okay, 1 week and 6 days) after my birth. Naturally, this made me a very eager and excited Christmas participant. Luckily my parents thought to grab the ol' Polaroid and snap a few. Two, to be exact. That's how awesome I made their day. Two pictures.

At least they were good ones.

Yup, that's me...the sweet little cherub under the tree, screaming her ever-loving head off! Possibly it was because EW, THE CARPET!!!! Could it look any more dirt-like??! Who would want to be laid on that stuff??! Get me out of here! That carpet obviously did not put me in the mood for Christmas cheer. Mom, in charge of writing the '2 weeks' caption, obviously had nothing more to say about the day other than my age. I guess she thought the picture spoke for itself.

Almost the same picture, but wait!! After Mom put her requisite '2 weeks' caption on this one, DAD took matters into his own hands. Afraid that later in life he might not remember what was happening here, he decided to jot down the facts. Christmas Day. THE WAILER.

Thanks, Dad. Because it wasn't perfectly clear how I felt that day.

Anyway, that's WBW for ya today. Hope you have more Christmas cheer today than I did back in '82!

a great day

2011-12-05T16:49:00.001-05:00

Indulge me for a sec as I walk you through some of the many great components of this great day.

1) Started the day out with a Truly Awesome Email of the Highest Order. Let me share it copy-and-paste style so that you can enjoy it, too:

I have to share the best scrabble word/move ever. See attached.

Win 1 - it's the word penises.
Win 2 - I used all seven tiles.
Win 3 - I got 60 points.
Win 4 - It posted the word penises to my facebook wall.

Haha, yes, I just shared that with you. For some reason, I just feel like you would enjoy this as much as I did.

Attached was a screenshot of the aforementioned amazing play. This was from my friend Jessie and yes, I did enjoy it as much as she apparently did.

Friends, emails like this are accepted and encouraged at any time. This was the best way to start my 5:45 am morning.

2) Great hair and pants. I've discovered a new way of curling my hair and it is SO fast and easy and it lasts all day and looks great (in my humble opinion) all day. Love it! A nice alternative to my daily ponytail, for sure. Also, I bought the Best Pants Ever on Black Friday and they have changed my life, or at least my expectations for work pants. These things, I am confident, contributed to a great day at work. They even made up for the fact that I FORGOT EARRINGS, which is normally a day-ruiner.

3. Christmas music. I'm gonna brag on myself for a minute here-- I do a mean 'O Holy Night' duet with Josh Groban. It nearly brings me to tears every time we perform it. I thought it couldn't be beat...until the drive home today, when I sang the same song with Martina McBride. My duet with Martina is giving my duet with Josh a run for its money...luckily there are still three solid weeks left of Christmas music for me to decide a definitive winner.

4. Great weather. Normally the literal bipolar-ness of this Georgia 'fall' would have me a little agitated...but today I decided to take advantage of an afternoon in the mid 60s to take some pictures outside! Then the 9 and 11-year-old neighbor kids from across the street came over to hang out and play with my cat (who was serving as my unwilling photography model). I enjoyed talking with them for 45 minutes or so, and as we chatted and followed the cat around the yard, lo and behold, we happened upon what can arguably be called my First Thing Worth Actually Photographing. I know!!! After taking 200 pictures, I finally found something worth taking a picture of! May I present to you: this animal skeleton.

I know, right?? Are you on Erika's blog, or the National Geographic page? Hard to say.

Our fearless hero.

So what is it?? The kids said a rat. If so...then I will put that skull on a stake and plant it square in the middle of the yard to let it be a warning to any other rats that are thinking about dropping by. Beware Ye Who Dare to Enter This Yard!!! And also I am going to give my cat about 8000 treats and pats and maybe even spring for shots this year...because I'm guessing he's the one responsible for making sure that animal is a dead skeleton in my flower bed and not a living beast in my yard/garage/house [shudder].

5. In about 30 minutes, I'm leaving to go to my first ZUMBA class ever!! I am SO excited!!! I've heard you lose like 10 pounds per class, so I have really realistic expectations for the evening.

Actually, my goal is to Not Die. Any other benefits will be considered fringe.

Hope your day was a fraction as fun as my last Monday of being 28. Yes, that's how I think of everything the week before my birthday.

Relevant Christmas Card 2011 Stats:
# of Cards Received: 5
# of Cards That Have Awesome Return Address Stamps: 2
B&W to Color Photograph Ratio: 2:3
Card Hailing from Furthest Away: I would have to consult Mapquest or something in order to determine whether Carroll, Iowa or Austin, Texas is further...but one of them.

america's next top photographer?

2011-12-04T18:23:00.001-05:00

I have two really good excuses for not-blogging this week. Well, actually three.

1) Christmas decorations.
2) New phone.
3) New camera.

Can you blame me?

I feel like the whole world was in on some Christmas-decorating conspiracy this year. I am all ABOUT some Christmas decorating. And I usually do it the week or weekend after Thanksgiving-- what I consider to be a totally normal, regular time to decorate. But what's with all the people this year who decided the be totally "Christmas-ed" by like...Thanksgiving afternoon? Therefore making me, who didn't have the first lick of Christmas up by the Sunday after T-day, look like a total slacker Grinch? Seriously, people. It wasn't even December yet!

With all that peer pressure, I made sure I started decorating ASAP on Monday after work. No gym for me, I have decorating to do!! But then what happened was I got home and MY CAMERA ARRIVED...so I had to spend lots of time getting THAT ball rolling first. But then it took an eternity for the battery to charge, so in my spare time I actually decorated. Which would prove to be a good choice later, when it meant that I actually had something to take a picture of.

Are you ready to see my FIRST PICTURE EVER on the new camera?? Can you handle the excitement?? Here we go!!

Awww...isn't Mattie so cute?? Don't worry, I didn't get to see that smiley face for long. Apparently he got tired of being my model pretty quickly. So did Lola, who mainly seemed interested in eating the camera slash was scared to death of it when it made its loud clicking noise.

Good thing I'd put the nativity up already. Here's one of my first attempts at doing that (sorry for the technical terms here, non-fellow-professional-photographers...) thing where you make one thing focused and the other things blurry!!

So the rest of the week was pretty much a repeat of Monday. Play with camera. Decorate. Take pictures of whatever you decorated. Or take pictures of the person doing the decorating. (Alternate schedule: take picture with PHONE camera (oooh, different and exciting!), post to Facebook and/or Twitter so that other people can share in the moment with you)

Matt practiced with the camera too, capturing such exciting life moments as this:

And I also practiced the delicate art of Taking Pictures Of Yourself in a Mirror. This will be an important skill to have one day if and when I ever a) start dressing fashionably and want to show off, or b) get pregnant and need to document the bump ~~daily~~ occasionally.

Look, more "artsy" pictures of Christmas decorations!

Wednesday was great because it finally quit raining so we could get a tree! Which was great because it gave us a whole new thing to take pictures of!

I know...you are SO GLAD you're seeing the boring details of our life documented. You are so lucky you read my blog!! I promise I won't over-share ALL my now-crappy-but-hopefully-getting-better pictures in the future...this was just our Honeymoon period with the Camera, so I'm sure you understand. Oh and also we decorated for Christmas...so that's at least semi-noteworthy.

Saturday (yesterday? Was it really yesterday? Seems so long ago.) was a super productive day. Too productive to write out in detail, but trust me: if you knew how productive we were (like Mollyanne, unfortunately for her, does...since I bored her with every single detail this morning) you would be jealous slash amazed. In the midst of our productiveness, we managed to cook a fantastic meal...which gave me a chance to be a FOOD PHOTOGRAPHER.

Nom nom nom. I miss you, food. You were so good. Better than my picture of you.

OK well...this has been one of my more pointless blogs. I just wanted to prove that I'm still alive and kicking and have actually been doing something...even if that "something" is actually just "nothing, only I'm taking pictures of it." I am having loads of fun decorating this year, since I am Way Craftier than ever before, which means I have more decorations and more creativity about how to display them.

And also, since I managed to go drop another $20 at Michael's today...that means I need to go because CRAFTS AWAIT! And I have yet to document a good craft with the New Camera, so...now you can look forward to the future, too.

Goodnight!! And happy ONE WEEK UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY, also, just in case you needed a subtle reminder.

PS. Relevant Christmas Card 2011 Stats:
-# of Christmas Cards Received to date: 4.
-# of Cards sent by fellow bloggers: 4. (in order of receipt: Amanda J., Allison, Jessie, Amanda M.)
-Black&White to Color Photograph ratio: 2:2
-Gold Star Award: Amanda M. for hand-writing a personal note on the back.

Stay tuned for the rest of this season's exciting Christmas Card Stats!

sometimes christmas is too boring

2011-11-30T06:00:00.000-05:00

Woohoo-- it's Way Back When-sday!!

So since I'm in the midst of decorating the house for Christmas, what I planned to share today was some photos of our 'first' Christmas...ya know, the tree, decor, house, whatever.

So I go back through my (extremely organized, of course) picture files to reference December 2007, which is naturally where all the Christmas pictures would be, and....

I don't know. I don't know what was up that year. Obviously we celebrated Christmas. Obviously I decorated. It's just that I must not have felt like it was terribly worth remembering, because there are only TWO pictures of our tree and THAT'S IT.

And this is the better of the two, if you can believe it. Hi, tree. I wonder what the rest of the house looked like? I guess we'll never know.

Wanna know what else was in the folder for that month?

This. And this is a SMALL sampling of the bounty I found.

So apparently Christmas was completely un-noteworthy, but entertaining ourselves for the evening with eyeshadow? Amazing.

Oh, and then we found our wig. LET THE FESTIVITIES COMMENCE!

I guess we can file this one away under "way too easily amused." And cross reference it with "Grinches," because seriously-- who takes only two pictures of CHRISTMAS??

Happy Wednesday. If you happen to be bored and poor, as we evidently were, may I recommend the brown eyeshadow?

the highlight reel

2011-11-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

Is Thanksgiving Break really almost over?? Sheesh, that went fast. Let's skip the play-by-play and go for a highlight reel, shall we? (Boy readers, I hope you are appreciating all the sports metaphors I'm using here. Just wanted you to know I do talk about something other than makeup and tampons occasionally.)

1. Black Friday Shopping

Yes, I did partake. Luckily, I wasn't forced to be an ultra-crazy going out at midnight or anything. Since we got the camera deal online early, there was nothing else I was desperate for. We did some leisurely 6am mall hopping and got lots of good deals and very few crowds, so it was a win-win.

2. Food

There was lots of it and it was good.

3. Crafting

I got a lot of crafting in this week/end. Comprehensive list of co-crafters: ALL OF MY SISTER IN LAWS, including but not limited to- Amy, Jessica, and Emily. OK, so I only have 3 SILs. That's still some pretty good stats. In addition to all my SILs, I crafted with Matt's cousin Alaina and my own mom. Good times (and awesome crafts) were had by all.

4. Goodwill

Mom and I hit up Goodwill yesterday morning to get some tshirts for our crafts. We also did some general shopping while there, and I am happy to report I got a pair of 7 For All Mankind jeans for $5.50!!!! (Well, free, since Mom paid) I also got several other great things, including work pants and skirts. And the aforementioned tshirts that later evolved into scarves. Love ya, Goodwill Where Rich People Take Their Stuff!!

5. Smartphone

I got one!! So if you're keeping track, I have successfully crossed off almost half of my own Holiday(s) Wish List. Between ordering our camera and getting the phone, I'm looking forward to a very anticlimactic birthday and Christmas morning, ha. In case you care, I got a Samsung Stratosphere


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I was won over by the 4G-ness of it and also the fact that it is awesome. So far I have gotten it almost organized exactly the way I want and I am having lots of fun.

6. "I Believe" Contest

I did it. I entered. About 15 minutes ago. I did not show anyone, including Matt, my essay-- just pounded it out and hit 'send' before I could change my mind. Now we're back to waiting and hoping and praying...not unlike the past three years.

And now I have to go. Goodbye!

happy thankschristmas to us!

2011-11-24T09:15:00.001-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm thankful for all kinds of cliche things, like family and friends and our house and our dog. God and freedom and jobs and our church and our health. All of that.

But let's be honest. Right now, right this minute?? I'm extra super thankful for one thing:

The fact that yesterday afternoon my dad spotted the best deal YET on the camera (and bonus LENS that we were NOT expecting to get) package that we wanted, and we (Matt, me, and Dad) decided to GO FOR IT and order the dang thing! We had to wait until 10pm CST for the sale to start, and you better believe we were waiting at the website at exactly that moment, determined that we would NOT miss out on the limited quantities available. Note: waiting in your office, sitting in a comfy chair, wearing your PJs, is HIGHLY PREFERABLE to waiting in a long line outside of Best Buy. And we GOT IT. Or rather, ordered it. It shall be arriving at my home shortly (FREE SHIPPING, bonus!).

This makes me extremely thankful, and also extremely unable to sleep because I am apparently an overexcited 3 year old. I've been up since 5am. I certainly hope this excitement wears off because it will probably be a few days before the camera arrives, and I can't survive without sleep for that long. Also, you can rest assured that I will NOT be waiting until Christmas to start using the camera. The plan is that I will be basically a professional photographer by Christmas, actually, and it's gonna be awesome.

OK, so did I say yet what we actually got? It's the Canon Rebel T3, with a 55mm lens and a 300mm lens. And a carrying case and memory card. Last night (while waiting for the appointed time to arrive) my dad and I pulled out his old SLR cameras and had a lot of fun playing with all the lenses and everything. His biggest zoom lens was a 200mm and it was SO AWESOME and made me almost pee my pants that I am getting one even zoomier (technical term). I didn't even know what a zoom lens really WAS until I played with his. Then I was fully convinced I needed one of my own. Also, my dad has a super badass leather camera strap that is in AWESOME condition and he let us have...now we will have a Matt-appropriate strap, since all of the ones I'm currently lusting after on Etsy are decidedly not-manly. Feel free to investigate my Pinterest board labeled "wish list" if you want to see what my idea of a good camera strap looks like. :)

OK. I know I should probably go cook a turkey or something, but I am TOO EXCITED to do anything except Google more stuff about my camera...and brag to you people, I suppose.

Happy Thanksgiving (slash early Christmas, to all of you buying yourselves presents on this blessed consumerism-driven weekend)!

playing hooky, brewing tea

2011-11-23T00:15:00.000-05:00

I'll have you know: I'm only up this late because this blasted tea-brewing process is a friggin ALL NIGHT ORDEAL. I kid you not.

When Matt brought home the dry concoction (in a brown paper bag) last night, I quickly dumped it out into a bowl so that I could examine it.

Uhhh....let's see...random leaves, hunks of wood and bark...unidentifiable shriveled up things...sticks...

Nothing that looks really nasty or anything...just also not really anything that looks like something I'd like to consume. Unless, of course, I was stranded on an island or lost in the woods. Then I'm sure this would look very appetizing.

Unfortunately, we own NONE of the equipment necessary to actually prepare this tea. I already mentioned the non-Teflon pots. Well, there are also about a hundred more rules about the pots...not to mention, they have to be able to hold like 24 cups of water/forest remnants. So they needed to be huge. Luckily for us, the in-laws had some pots that mostly fit the bill (I say 'mostly' because the directions specifically stated that stainless steel is not ideal, but would suffice if you lacked a more preferable pot, such as ceramic or glass. Uhhh...anyone out there have a cabinet full of giant glass stock pots?? Anyone?? Clearly I was led astray when registering at Bed, Bath, and Beyond...). So here's what we look like tonight, getting the process going:

Yes, all of those pots are getting some sort of action. Along with half of our other cookware. I'm telling ya, the Chinese herb folks do NOT want to make this easy on you.

As for how it smells when it's simmering (for hours on end)...it's not bad. It's strange. It just doesn't smell like anything you would expect to drink. A very earthy, foresty sort of smell. Like the way I might expect it to smell if I buried my head in the dirt in a rain forest and inhaled deeply. It also sorta smells like Peanut Lovers Chex Mix, a delicious treat I am well acquainted with. So I try to focus on that.

After the tea is finished simmering, being strained, being re-cooked down and adding more water, then cooling, then being refrigerated, then being re-heated...I'll be sure to let you know how it tastes (according to Matt. I, of course, have no intention of trying it).

In other news, I played hooky today. Well, okay, I "took a personal day," which is the technical term for it...which is nice, because it means I don't have to lie about being sick or anything, and I still get paid! It's basically the best part of working...the paid days off. I know it's hard to imagine, but after the fun times I had yesterday at work, I just didn't quite feel like going back for round 2. And also, my sister- and brother-in-law and nephew are in town. So I decided to spend the day doing something I love instead of going to work. Craft day with the sister-in-laws it was! (Note: I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be 'sisters-in-law' but it really kills me to put the 's' on sister. It's just too weird.)

You're probably getting sick of pictures of my crafts. But I don't really care, so...

Today's theme (for me) was: Do Something With Books Besides Read Them! Catchy, I know.

First up: make a Christmas tree! Or a whole village of trees!

I just found a tutorial on Pinterest and followed it to a T. And now I have 4 book Christmas trees. Holla!

After that, I decoupaged a clear Christmas ornament with book pages, Mod Podge, and glitter. And forgot to take a picture. But it looks like the ball-ornament version of what was my NEXT project: decoupage a B with book pages, Mod Podge, and glitter.

Sorry that the lighting and photography are crappy and you can't even tell what that is supposed to look like. Maybe in a few days when I have a SUPER AWESOME FREAKIN CAMERA you will not have to suffer like that.

All in all, I concluded that Craft Day with the SILs (while receiving paid time off) is far superior to Work, and I wish I could receive my same salary for just not going to work and staying home and being crafty instead.

Well, I wish I had more to say, because there's at least an hour left on the Tea Project and it's already midnight...but...I don't. Oh, except...thanks for all the wonderful comments/emails/texts yesterday. I read all of them (multiple times) and felt such love and support. It really means a lot to me. Thanks for being so patient and understanding and for reminding me that it's okay to feel angry and confused. I wish I knew more of you in real life. :)

Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your turkey and pumpkin pie and maybe if you're lucky, Matt will let you snitch a sip of his Magic Tea to wash it all down. :)

another sad rant about infertility

2011-11-21T16:44:00.000-05:00

Actually, I'm pretty sure I don't even have enough energy to rant. I only have enough to manage being sad.

Twenty miles is the distance between my school and my home. Twenty miles is a long way to drive on-the-verge-of-tears. It's a long time to keep it together.

I wonder if I could count the number of times I've kept it together for 19.75 miles and then collapsed in a heap on my driveway, unable to finish driving into the garage.

I kinda want to start a different blog, a totally anonymous one, so that I can freely tell about all the insanely insensitive things people say and do and not have to worry about them reading it and getting their feelings hurt.

Comments I actually heard today that caused me to breakdown at work (this from a girl who found out last week she was pregnant on their first month trying): Yeah, it wasn't really a surprise. I mean, we're 26...it's a good time to get pregnant. We definitely wanted to have kids before we were really old...like 30...don't wanna be like...Gramps is having a baby!!

My reaction to that paragraph (in my head, of course...and now here...): Yep, we started when we were 26 too. The day I TURNED 26, actually, which was a horrible decision in retrospect. It was a great time to start trying. How sad that despite that, there is probably zero chance that I will have a baby before I'm 30. Actually, there's probably zero chance I will have a baby EVER. So thanks and GET THE EFF OUT OF MY OFFICE. I can't CRY when there are people in here.

Note: I'm not actually mad or bitter at the girl who's pregnant. I don't think she has any idea about my situation, and I don't expect everyone in the world to walk on pins and needles JUST IN CASE they might be offending someone. This is just an example of normal conversations (that stab me in the gut) I find myself overhearing far too often.

I keep trying to think of things I'm thankful for this year. I think the main thing I'm thankful for is that I haven't actually gone insane and stabbed anyone or myself. Because then I would be in jail or in a mental institution and that is possibly the only thing that would be worse than being stuck in an elementary school/church/life full of fertile people.

Although I am thankful for crafting. It's been the high point in an otherwise low-filled year.

Today Matt got a special tea from his acupuncturist. Apparently (I haven't seen him/it yet) it comes with a veritable BOOK of instructions regarding how to brew/mix/store/warm-up/drink it. First of all, nothing can be done with a Teflon pot. And after the 3-hour-mixing/brewing procedure is done, you have to store it (in the fridge, I presume) and then drink it every day with breakfast and dinner. Only it has to be hot to drink, but you CAN'T USE THE MICROWAVE to heat it up...only your non-Teflon pot on the stove. I'm surprised we can even use the stove. I bet when I read the 'book,' I'll find the part where it says you actually have to warm it up over an open fire. And then I will go hunt down the person who invented this stupid tea and warm HIM up over an open fire.

Also, I am getting sick of seeing acupuncture appear 281839 times a month on my credit card bill. We're gonna have to cut off that money leak soon.

But back to this tea-- I can't wait to see the list of ingredients and Google them to see what they are. Another IF blogger did this once (the tea was for herself and apparently stunk to high heavens when she made it, which prompted her to wonder what was actually IN it)...guess what was in the tea??? SQUIRREL POOP. Yes. You read it right. Squirrel poop. So I don't know if that's what's in Matt's, but we're calling it Squirrel Poop Tea anyway just for kicks.

I haven't written my story yet. I am too intimidated and will probably punk out and not do it. Someone else should do it for me. I'm too busy feeling sorry for myself.

This is my third holiday season of TTC. The first two seasons I mostly thought "this will surely be our last kid-free Thanksgiving/birthday/Christmas...next year we will certainly have a kid or be pregnant!!" and I was all optimistic and BS. This year I am under no such delusions. This year I'm like...yep, just another year without kids or hopes of kids...just like last year and the year before, and just like next year and the next year and the next year are probably gonna be too! Get used to it, buck-o! Just think of all the money you're saving not buying plastic junk...which is dumb, because all savings there are completely negated by the money wasted on IF treatment.

Gosh, I am SUCH a ray of sunshine! It's a wonder more people don't want to be my friend! Just look at all this hopeful optimism and faith!!

Nope. Fresh out of that here. Try back some other time.

Goodbye and sorry if I offended you.

craftiness lately 2

2011-11-20T15:49:00.003-05:00

Can you believe that I already have another post titled "craftiness lately"?? Me either. Sometimes I think of something so original and then...turns out, it's not. SO, since today's post is all about crafts I've done lately...we'll just throw a 2 on the end and call it a day.

Several times this week I mentioned the craft I did with my friend Jessie last weekend, but didn't have the finalized product ready to show off...well, you shall wait no longer!

This is not going to be a step-by-step tutorial like I'm sure you've become accustomed to me doing (haha)...but I will show you some pictures of us in-progress so that you are even more wowed by the final product!

We started out with lots of fabric, scissors, ribbons, needles, and Jessie's brand-new rotary cutter which we ruined in about 15 minutes (who knew you shouldn't iron on that mat thing??).

Then there was sewing, and plenty of it. And it was at least 11pm at this point, so please don't judge my sleepy eyes and greasy face and general troll-like-ness.

And finally-- ta daaaaa!!!!-- we had our trees!

These 3 are actually mine, and they make me very happy!! Especially the tall skinny one!

So the Christmas Tree Craft was like a level 3 craft in my book, because it involved lots of equipment, time, and sewing. I rarely attempt such advanced crafts, but am glad that Jessie encouraged me to- and provided the sewing intervention I require to do such a thing!

These next 2 crafts are much more typical of my normal crafts. And by that I mean: easy.

This is just a little sign I started making probably a month ago. I was just in the mood to paint stuff. :) So I got Mattie to cut me a piece of plywood and I got to painting. I didn't get the tiny brushes I needed until recently so that I could paint words on it...which is why it was a month-long project.

Ya know, just something I need to be reminded of frequently!

Finally: my first CHRISTMAS WREATH! As you know, I went absolutely nutso on the fall-colored yarn wreaths. This is my first foray into the Christmas-colored version, and I'm so happy with how it turned out! My front door is happy, too.

We did do one other craft yesterday, but it's not ready yet (and will never be quite photo-worthy)...we (and I say 'we' because Matt is absolutely the one responsible for looking up and spearheading this project) made our own scented pinecones! When we were at Michael's last week, we saw some...and Matt was APPALLED that people apparently are willing to spend $5 or something on scented pinecones...I mean, they're pinecones. We have at least...I dunno...50 million of them? Roughly? In our backyard? Right. So yesterday we bought some essential oils and made our own dang scented pinecones. Except they have to stay sealed in their bags for a week, so we can't enjoy them yet.

Unexpected cool thing about the project: you're supposed to bake the pinecones (in the oven! on a cookie sheet!) for an hour (at 200 degrees) first, to kill any bugs that might be living in them. And when they were done 'baking'...there were SO MANY little dead spiders on the sheet! It was crazy! And kind of intriguing. So...you're welcome for that factoid.

So that's my craftiness lately. Now I need to finish getting some food prepared for our Vineyard Thanksgiving dinner tonight...I am SO EXCITED because I love Thanksgiving food SO MUCH! Yum!

charging up

2011-11-18T21:37:00.001-05:00

It got cold yesterday. And QUICKLY. We're talking 75 degrees on Wednesday, 50 degrees yesterday. And 300mph wind (rough estimate). COLD. But I shan't complain. At least it means I can spend my Friday evening doing this:

Why yes that is Lola and I curled up in a blanket on the beanbag next to a blazing fire as we watch football! And yes that is a really run-on sentence, but who cares?

I am really excited about ~~a break from work~~ Thanksgiving next week, but I always have to spend a few days emotionally preparing for being surrounded by people for days on end. Tonight's plan (dinner with our uncle followed by a night of lounging around alone at home, as per the above picture/description) is right up my alley: lots of quiet and alone (with Matt) time. The thing that will be lacking in the next week as we're surrounded by family and friends. If the being surrounded part can best be described as 'draining,' then I guess what I'm doing now is 'charging,' right?

Lola seemed pretty happy with the evening's plans. Although she will be even happier next week when she spends her days frolicking in my parents fenced-in yard (aka Heaven on Earth for a lab), terrorizing their small dogs and just generally having a grand old time.

There's something to be said for a quiet, cold night spent by a fire. And yes, that is cookies you smell. They just got out of the oven and have to cool for a minute. How very Norman Rockwell-ian of me, right??

Happy Friday, friends!

Edited 11/19: YALL! I can't believe I've forgotten to do this (ok, twice)! You need to hurry thyself over to Amanda's blog and enter her Christmas mix CD giveaway! Trust me, as the recipient of one of her fantastic mixes (non-Christmas, though): she makes a mean mix CD. So mean that your husband might even steal it. You have until 11:59 CST tonight to enter, so hurry!

the one with the false eyelashes

2011-11-16T19:43:00.001-05:00

Yep, it's Way Back When-sday again!! And look-- Allison got us a little button thingy!! Movin' on up, I tell you.

Tonight at dinner, Matt was thumbing through a drugstore ad that was laying on the dining room table. We probably get much more enjoyment out of the Sunday paper than most couples do-- we keep the ad inserts around for practically the whole next week so that we have things to talk about at dinner, because we're truly exciting like that. We usually play some variation on 'Would You Rather?'...would you rather wear this outfit or that outfit? Which shoes on this page would you pick? Would you rather have this washer-dryer or this new refrigerator? Ya know, exciting stuff like that.

Tonight, pointing to two items on the same page in the ad, Matt posed the following question: Would you rather have fake nails or fake eyelashes?

A tough question, to be sure. I've never had fake nails, so I can only imagine what it would be like. In my mind, I'm paralyzed by my inability to touch things/type/do anything that requires fine motor skills...so I'm not inclined to want to ever wear fake nails.

As for the false lashes? I've worn them once.

It was Halloween 2004, and Kristina and I had some awesomely coordinated/invented costumes, as you would expect us to. At the last minute, we decided our outfits would not be complete without false eyelashes. And in typical fashion, we decided to go big or go home.

Go Big Or Go Home, Lash Edition:

Upon deep reflection and examination of the above photo, I decided that if I have to choose between fake nails and fake lashes, the lashes are going to win every time. Because seriously, those things are awesome and I kind of wish I had some right now to make my dirty gym clothes look a little more spectacular.

I guess this means I'm adding "false eyelashes" to my wish list.

Happy WBW!! I'm off to craft! (PS. I wonder when 'to craft' became a verb?)

wishin'...

2011-11-15T22:09:00.001-05:00

Sorry if this ruins your preconceived notions about me being a totally original human being. I'm basically just a big copier (just like the rest of you), which is why I've decided to jump on the early bandwagon of bloggers posting holiday wish lists. (Note: I am NOT one of those people who refrain from offending people by avoiding using the word 'Christmas' and substituting some 'holiday' crap. I only call this my 'holiday' wish list because since my birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas...then this list is encompassing multiple holidays. So it's appropriate. "Holiday" is more concise than saying "birthday and Christmas"...although this paragraph-long explanation is much longer, so really...it's not like I saved myself any typing or anything. MOVING ON!)

Right, so, wish list. Just wanted to go ahead and throw it out there into cyberspace in case Santa (or relatives, or generous blog stalkers) were wanting to get a jump start on things. As per usual, I will provide plenty of commentary to go with each item...so let's get to it!

1. A "Big Girl" Camera:


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OK, if there's anyone who should be wanting me to get a decent camera, it's probably you people. You're the ones that have to suffer through all of my half-assed pictures taken with all manner of point-and-shoots (that seldom find it in their hearts to be working), webcams, and uhh...like, drawings on Paint when all of my other cameras are failing. My camera issues have been ROUGH this year, and I'd like to apologize to all of your eyeballs. This does mean, however, that for roughly the past year, Matt and I have been toying with the idea of getting a decent digital SLR camera. This is not because we are photographers or have any delusions that we are going to be. I will be the first one to admit that I have no idea what SLR even stands for. But I do know that even with my lack of knowledge...when I use a friend's 'real' camera and just snap a shot...it looks WAAAAY better than the same picture taken with my point-and-shoots. Also...we just want one. We have these plans that we will LEARN about photography (and what all the initials stand for, and what f- something means, and shutter speed, and all the other things that blow my mind when I'm trying to 'research' cameras) and it will be a hobby that both of us can enjoy. And, naturally, we will be awesome picture-takers by the time we give birth/bring home our fantastically photogenic offspring, and then we will high-five ourselves for thinking to do this in advance. That's the plan, anyway.

So really, we're getting a camera (note: not sure which one. The picture above is only an illustration of one of the many possibilities). We're planning on getting it as our gift to each other. Unless someone else is dying to get it for us, in which case, be my guest! We have been zealously scoping out the leaked Black Friday ads already, and have a game plan that begins at midnight...because if there's anything that will get me even more excited about owning a Big Girl camera, it is the thought of getting a great deal on it.

2. A 21st century phone!!

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I know...who is this girl and what has she done with Erika? Like, if I own both a working camera AND a non-ghetto phone, what will I have left to complain about? (Answer: Infertility, obviously!!!) I guess I have decided that smartphones are probably NOT just a passing trend and therefore I should get on board. Like the camera, I have been decidedly lusting after a phone for a solid year now, so to me, that means I should get one. Unlike OTHER THINGS I have been lusting after for a long time (like, ya know...babies...)...this year I decided that the things I CAN get? I just think I should. So, a smartphone it is. I'm tired of texting with one finger (YES, I have the kind of phone that DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A QUERTY KEYBOARD. How I've made it this far, I don't know). Like with the camera thing, I'm not so picky about what KIND of phone? As long as it's smart. So if you have lots of experience and advice about things like phones, you can feel free to let me know your opinion. My main question is: does it matter how many GBs there are?? I'm having a hard time imagining why I'd need more memory on my phone than I have on my computer.

Note: in addition to the phone, I would also like $360 to cover the cost of one year of the data plan. Thanks, Santa!

Phew! This is a technology-filled wish list, so far. That doesn't feel very "me," so let's change directions.

3. All the things on my Pinterest.

I know, not very specific...but just go peruse around. It's safe to assume I want everything I've pinned, so you can craft it or just buy it, whatever! I just need it. Thanks so much!!

4. Toms!

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Hahaha, that is the smallest picture ever. Not exactly representative of the actual size I will be needing (9.5, thanks for asking. Don't judge! I'm tall! My feet are proportionate to my height!!). Much like cameras and smartphones, Toms are the kind of thing everyone else has had for 5 years and I have been busy squinting my eyes and trying to 'get it.' Now that probably everyone else has decided to stop wearing them, I have adjusted to seeing them around and have decided I might like to have some myself. Perferably in a neutral-ish color and pattern (like plain gray), because I like my shoes to be versatile.

5. Plane tickets.


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Do they make airline gift cards? That would be perfect. Basically, I have lots of friends/family that live far away and I would like to see them all. So...plane tickets it is! (A private jet/pilot would also work, rich stalkers.)

6. Bath stuff.

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I know, not very specific. But here's the thing. I haven't really ever been a 'bath girl.' We've lived in this house for 2.5 years, we have a HUGE garden tub thing, and I've taken maybe like...2 baths. Until last week. Since last week I've taken about...30. And I have come to the realization that I have an embarrassingly tiny amount of products to give me the ideal spa-like experience. I'm actually a little ashamed about the whole thing. SO, pick your favorite bath product (what...salts, scrubs, soaks, bubbles...aren't there like a million things?) and help start the Erika Bath Collection. Promoting relaxation since 2011.

Alright.

That should be enough to get you started on your shopping. Consider this Part 1. Still to come: specific clothing items, makeup products, and crafting supplies! Could you BE any more excited??!

(Note: I mentioned this earlier, but seriously: if you have relevant (or not relevant, I don't really care) advice/opinions/recommendations about anything I mentioned, feel free to share! Share slash buy me whatever it is you are recommending, of course.)

the easiest christmas craft ever

2011-11-13T07:00:00.000-05:00

Anyone else in the mood to start crafting their Christmas decor? Anyone else lacking extra wads of cash to spend on aforementioned Christmas decor? Well, today is your LUCKY DAY!!! Welcome to my first ever step-by-step DIY craft tutorial. And possibly last ever, too. We'll just see how it goes.

Yesterday, I was dying to get crafty. I'd done some crafting with my friend Friday night (photos of that still to come), and Saturday morning I woke up itching to get my craftiness on. And no, before Pinterest was invented, I had never woken up with that particular itch before. But that's beside the point, I think. Anyway, it just so happens that yesterday there was a home game in Athens, which meant that driving to a craft store was just not going to happen. I don't need ANYTHING badly enough to deal with that mess. So I was stuck at home, trying to think of something I could make with what I had on hand. And then it came to me.

Why not make a Christmas tree out of sticks? I've seen lots of stick projects on Pinterest. I think I've even seen Christmas trees made out of sticks. But I couldn't find anything that quite suited my current mood. So I did what all crafty pioneers do: I made up my OWN project. And it was good. Feast your eyes!!

If you feel underwhelmed, it's only because you haven't made your own yet. But don't worry! In case you ~~are completely lacking in brain function~~ can't figure out how to make this, I have taken the liberty to create a step-by-step pictorial guide for your convenience! Possibly the only reason I did this was because yesterday I discovered Picnik, but that is also beside the point.

Here we go!

Step 1: Find some sticks. This should be extremely easy, unless you live in a city or something, I guess. For me, this involved finding shoes (the longest part of the process), putting them on, and walking around the woods in my backyard for a few minutes. Challenging!

For extra artistic points, you will want to find sticks that don't all look the same (aka don't pull 10 sticks off the first dead tree you see). Different textures/barks/widths will make your project look more interesting.

Step 2: Break or cut your sticks so that they are all different lengths. Find a sturdier one to be your 'trunk.'

Step 3: Arrange sticks so that it (duh) looks like a Christmas tree.

Step 4: Hot glue sticks onto the 'trunk.' I would definitely recommend doing this outside, since I was getting the long 'webs' of hot glue EVERYWHERE. I was very glad that I won't be vacuuming those things up for the next year. Also, the sticks are going to be crumbling and generally making a mess as you handle them. Better to keep mess outside.

Step 5: Cut and arrange some smaller twigs to make a star. No tree is complete without a star, right?? Hot glue the points of the star together. Then hot glue the star to the top of your tree.

Step 5b (not pictured): Hunt around your garage for a suitable pot to 'plant' the tree in. Then go get your rock bucket (where you collect all the rocks you find when you're tilling the ground in the summer to make gardens, of course) and get some small rocks. Fill up the pot with rocks and your tree's trunk, arranging rocks for maximum tree stability.

Don't have pots in your garage and/or a rock collection? A) What kind of person are you? B) You might have to figure out something else for display purposes. You could just lean the tree against a wall or shelf? Use string to hang it up? You decide!

Step 6: Enjoy your handiwork. Obviously.

Step 7 (optional): Spend the rest of the day congratulating yourself for your amazing creativity, your cost-effectiveness as a crafter, and your commitment to using locally sourced materials. Not that I did this or anything. You just might want to.

Total money required for project: $0 (cost of hot glue consumed is negligible).

Total time required for project: 1 hour, including picking all of the hot glue webs off the finished tree. (24 hours if you spend the rest of the day doing Step 7)

Total awesomeness of project: Infinity.

easily amused much?

2011-11-12T11:45:00.001-05:00

Hello and HAPPY SATURDAY! I am only a tad bit excited about it myself, as you can tell.

Last night I had an awesomely fun and crafty night, but I can't post about it just yet because the craft is not quite finished...so look forward to seeing pictures of that soon.

But SPEAKING of pictures...

Recently a few friends (Lisa and Amanda, I believe) mentioned using the online photo editing program Picnik. Today I thought I would see what all the fuss was about.

It's about FUN is what it's about!

In case you don't know, you can do all sorts of useful things with Picnik...like maybe make some sort of picture thingy to use on your blog? If you know how to do stuff like that?? Like I figured out the part where you make the thing. It would be a whole 'nother thing to figure out how to make it become something useful on the blog. Another project for another day, right??

But more importantly, Picnik allows you to unleash your inner four-year-old artistic side and turn semi-boring pictures like this...

...into freaking FANTASTIC pictures like THIS!!!!!!!!!

Yes, that actually IS what I'm doing on a Saturday morning. Try to contain your jealousy. And for a small fee, I am willing to awesome-ify your OWN picture!! Just think of the potential!!

So long, and happy Saturday from me and the mustached King of the River, holding the world and a hotdog in his hand beside his two beers on a rock.

a time for kankfulness

2011-11-09T21:07:00.000-05:00

You probably thought I'd given up on Way Back When-sday, didn't you? Well, you would be wrong. It's just that I forget a lot, or I run out of time and/or creativity. But today-- you are in luck. Or you're about to be bored. One of these.

A long time ago, back in the year 2003 (can you remember back that far?), I was a junior in college and I shared a townhouse with some of my favorite people in the whole world (and also one girl who was NOT OUR FAVORITE PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD, but I think that by this point she had left and anyways, I'm not bitter or anything still. Hahaha. Girls, are you with me here???) (OK, seriously I'm NOT bitter still. I hadn't even thought about that in a long time. It just came to me.) ANYWAYS, getting back on track. We were, as all college-aged girls living with their BFFs and living the American dream (my American dream, anyway), very thankful for our many blessings and our friendships and our sweet kitty-cats and our amazing hostessing and cooking skills, and so- much like our ancestors before us (although not MY ancestors, because my ancestors were still living in Italy until like 15 minutes ago or something)- we decided to host a feast in order to celebrate all of the good things in our lives. And YES, I should receive an award for the World's Longest Sentence (see previous sentence).

No doubt, we all loved our families very much. We looked forward to spending 'real' Thanksgiving with them, and we still do. But there's something to be said for having a special event just for the friends and roommates and neighbors who make your everyday life so worth living. So we set a date, and we made invitations, and we planned and cleaned and cooked and decorated within an inch of our lives, and this is how Kanksgiving was born. Kanksgiving: A Time to be Kankful.

It is possible that you don't understand the whole "kank" thing, and that's probably because you weren't a part of my circle of friends from 2001 until present, and for that I am sad for you. To define 'kank' would be to strip it of its glory, so I will have to move on without further explanation and leave you instead to ponder and wonder about the meaning.

We celebrated Kanksgiving in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2008. We planned and prepared to celebrate it in 2007, but were unable to due to the sudden and unexpected death of a good friend of ours on the very day of Kanksgiving. That year, our joy turned into mourning, but the mourning was 'better,' if that is possible, because it was in the company of the friends who had all already traveled to be together that weekend. We ended up cooking our turkey anyway, that day, because he was already defrosted and seasoned, we were all hungry, and what the heck else were we supposed to do with a 15 pound bird? I have no pictures from that year.

But in the other years, there was never been a shortage of pictures at Kanksgiving. Trying to narrow down the pictures to post here was really tricky, especially because these early years of Kanksgiving were PRE-FACEBOOK (which will no doubt one day be an actual designation of time, just like B.C. or something) and it occurred to me that some of the roomies actually might not have seen these pictures in a really long time/ever!

First of all, the hostesses ALWAYS take pictures of themselves cooking. It's just the way things are done. And also, the Santa apron was an essential.

Me, 2003

Kristina, 2003

The hostesses/roomies: Kristina, Elizabeth, me, Catherine (2003)

Our banquet table, food, and friends (2003)

Most years (except, I guess, 2003) we remembered to take pictures of the ceremonial Stuffing of Tom. (Every turkey is named Tom, by the way) This is photo-worthy because, as suburban-raised 20-year-olds, we hadn't had much experience touching raw poultry, and this gave us huge amounts of Mom Points to do this nasty thing. I'm pretty sure, actually, that ONLY Kristina and Elizabeth even touched the bird for the first 2 years. I was a little slow to jump on board THAT fun-train.

Elizabeth and Kristina stuffing Tom, 2004

Me stuffing Tom, 2005

James, stuffing Tom, 2008

Kristina and Elizabeth with a nicely baked Tom, 2004


Hostesses, 2004


Hostesses, 2005

We used to wonder, as young, pre-marriage, pre-"real life" adults, whether our future "real" Thanksgivings would ever measure up to the greatness of Kanksgiving. We even discussed one day, when we were "real" adults in charge of our own families and lives, choosing to continue celebrating Kanksgiving...perhaps even on THANKSGIVING DAY (instead of a convenient weekend in the months surrounding Thanksgiving: yes, Kanksgiving has been celebrated as early as October and as late as December! Note: it really sucked trying to buy a turkey in October!! No one had them!). Because Kanksgiving was the perfect mixture of friendship and love and laughter and teamwork...exactly the kind of drama-free fun that every Thanksgiving should be. And so really, I'm still hoping that one day we do it. :) Or at least that we re-institute our tradition, even if it's not on Thanksgiving Day. EVERY day is a good day to be Kankful, after all.

Stine, Lobello, and Ray: Writing this made my heart feel very happy and also made me miss you all very much. And miss posing for pictures in that corner of the living room. And miss the Santa apron. And the 115. And Elizabeth's sofa-bed with green and white checks. And lots more. I love you girls!

mailbox love

2011-11-06T21:44:00.007-05:00

It's almost that time of year-- the time when people GET THINGS OTHER THAN BILLS AND JUNK IN THE MAIL!!! WOOHOO!!!

I know I'm excited. I LOVE Christmas cards. I love getting them. I love making my own. I love editing my little Excel spreadsheet with addresses. I love writing addresses on cards and writing notes on each little card (completely defeating the purpose of having my 'custom message' printed on the back? Yes, but a much-needed personal touch, I think). I like sticking the return address labels on just so and driving out to the Bethlehem, Ga post office where they will get a special postmark declaring them to be from BETHLEHEM...which is very Christmas-y, if you ask me.

I love Christmas cards!! (Did I mention I also love getting them? It's true. And if you've had the pleasure of visiting my house anytime in the past year, you will notice that all of my last year's cards are STILL OUT (not like, on the wall or anything, but in a decorative bowl) and I still like to look at them and see pictures of friends. So if you send me a card, know that I enjoy them year-round, not just for a few weeks!)

I usually try to have mine made and ordered by November 1. This year I was about 2 days late, but they are well on their way to being printed and shipped now. That means I need to tackle updating the mailing list. And then check the status of my beautiful Sharpie thin-lines to make sure they're ready for another session of addressing.

I've used Vistaprint for my cards (and address labels) for the past three years. I have always been extremely happy with the selection, degree of personalization, and PRICE. This year I designed four cards (because I really just think it's fun) and then let Matt decide which one was the winner. Now I feel sad because I miss the other 3 finalists. I wish I could order all of them. :) Oh well.

Last year, Mollyanne and I unknowingly ordered the SAME CARD.

Horrors!!! What are the odds, right? I mean, we knew we were using the same company...but they have THOUSANDS of options. What're the odds we picked the SAME ONE?!?! It was so funny when we found out. I'm pretty sure we found out because I (in typical Erika-fashion) had my cards mailed out December 1 and Mollyanne received it and realized it was the same one that she had ordered (and either not yet received or not yet gotten around to mailing). So she was the one that made the realization. I'm sure our mutual friends that received both were happy, since it truly was an excellent card. Better to have two, I think.

Actually, two years ago...I bet these people don't even KNOW this...but the Boothes and the Goldens had the same card as well!! It was a great card, so I definitely appreciated having two. It's nice having friends with such great taste in cards, I think.

Also, in case you are about to be in the market to make your own cards, let me send you a referral:

Save up to 80% on custom printed products at Vistaprint. Order today!

I hope that works...I signed up for a referral program on Vistaprint (don't worry, they didn't ask me to advertise for them or anything...anyone can sign up for the referral program)...if you use that link above and order something, I'll get $5! So that would be pretty sweet if you don't have your cards done yet and you love me.

OK sorry for this long and rambling blog. I actually had an extremely long and traumatic day, dubbed by myself as Erika and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. It's a miracle I actually survived, but now as I approach the sweet end of it all (the day, that is) and my wonderful husband has spent the evening proving his wonderfulness, and also I had an hour-long bubble bath (in a tub freshly cleaned by the aforementioned husband)...I decided to focus on something positive instead of making myself cry again, and Christmas cards were about the only happy thing I could come up with. :) So you're welcome. Now go use that referral link and make me rich, okay?? Thanks!

write for my life

2011-11-04T22:05:00.000-04:00

So this was brought to my attention the other day on another one of the IF blogs I frequent.

In case you're too lazy to click, I'll summarize:

The Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine is giving away a free IVF cycle.

Oh wait, I'm sorry, did you just pee your pants too?? Let me slow down and emphasize a few key words.

GIVING AWAY. As in, for free. For zero monies.

a FREE (right, zero monies)

IVF cycle (as in...that thing that is the only shot Matt and I have at getting pregnant, save a miracle, of course) (that thing we've been saving money for for forty thousand years or something) (that thing that we are dying to do but is SO FRIGGIN EXPENSIVE) (that thing that could get us a baby)

They are giving away a free IVF cycle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To whom?? How?? Well, let me just tell you.

Anyone who wants to (like me, for instance) can enter. All you (I) have to do is "tell your story." It can be as long or short as you like. Submit your story by December 1. A panel of folks will review all of the entries and pick a handful of finalists. The finalists' stories will be posted on the Sher Institute's Facebook page. Fans of their page will be able to vote from December 5-11. Whoever gets the most votes wins. Winner will be announced December 12, 2011.

ALSO KNOWN AS: my 29th birthday.

Like, for realz. They're announcing the winner of the FREE IVF CYCLE on my BIRTHDAY.

Obviously I need to be winning this.

Obviously I am about to write for my life.

But I need help/encouragement!! For one...I can only imagine how many people are going to enter this thing (PS. If you know any sadsies IF girls dying for free IVF, do me a favor and don't tell them about this. Especially if they're good writers or have lots of FB friends. Sorry to be a hater, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.). Although my "story" is really sad to ME...in the grand scheme of the world of infertility, I seriously doubt my story/situation is the saddest. So....HELP!! How should I tell my story? Should I TRY to make it sound as sad and tragic as possible? Should I try to make it somehow humorous? What is gonna help me stand out from the others for the judges? HELP!!!

And also, not to jump ahead or anything...but will you vote for me??! OMG if I made it to the finalists...I would have to become a friggin POLITICIAN...begging for votes. Bargaining for votes. Creating new Facebook accounts just to get more votes...can I count on you to VOTE FOR ME for the free IVF?? How many FB friends do YOU have? Will THEY vote for me??

I've never been big on popularity contests. I didn't run for class office. I don't want to know how many people like me.

But I'd really like to win this contest.

Which means I have about 26 days to write the story that will give me a legit shot at a baby. No pressure or anything. Just a little writing assignment THAT COULD CHANGE MY LIFE FOREVER. That's all!!

AAAAAHHHHHHHHH. TOTALLY FREAKING OUT HERE.