it's every 4 years. promise.

Monday night, I was minding my own business, waiting for my Zumba class to start. "My" spot happens to be near this paper towel dispenser that has the Group Class schedule/calendar taped to it. People tend to congregate around the schedule, because it FREAKING CHANGES EVERY MONTH, which is not annoying at all. So I thought nothing of it as a few of my fellow Zumba regulars were hanging out at the schedule, easily within earshot of me, and chatting while waiting for class to start.

I was keeping myself busy on the phone and by physically occupying my spot-- otherwise people start creeping in on your zone. Which is not cool with me. So I have to be vigilant while waiting for class to start. I wasn't paying much attention to the girls (women-- all at least 30 years old) at the paper towel machine. I did see (in the mirror) that they were gesturing to the calendar, towards the bottom-- where this week would be.

Yeah...sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't, I heard one of them comment. I figured they were talking about one of the classes or something. I go on playing my Words game.

And when it doesn't happen...it just...goes on to the next month!

OK, I obviously missed something in my eavesdropping, but no matter. Talking about the gym schedule is boring. Back to my game.

...yeah...every other year. It's every other year. The other years, there's only 28 days.

Umm...ok, I'm starting to feel slightly concerned that they are no longer talking about Boot Camp or Butts & Guts classes here and might be talking about something...else. Something that should not be being debated or pondered about by grown women. I really start trying to focus on my phone, because I don't want or need to know what they're discussing at this point.

Yep. Every other year. So this year there's 29, isn't that cool?! The woman who was saying this was being rewarded with nods and smiles from her companions, as "oh, NOW I get it!" looks came over their faces. This girl, whom I regularly speak to and consider to be a nice, friendly, normal person, was evidently the 'teacher,' enlightening her friends about something critical on the calendar.

Our instructor walks in and we all quickly assume our spots. The crew at the schedule breaks up. But in the mirror, I see another girl-- not a part of the original Schedule Club-- walk over to the ringleader/teacher of the Schedule girls.

It's every four years, actually.

We start warming up. Shoulders are getting loose. But it's never too late to learn something new!

What? the ringleader/teacher says.

Yall are talking about Leap Year, right? my new BFF says. It's every four years. I just...couldn't NOT tell you. I'm sorry. It's every four years.

Surprisingly, the ringleader takes this news with grace. "Oh! Thanks! I knew it was something weird like that," and goes on with her warmup.

But me?? I couldn't concentrate the rest of the night. Are you SERIOUS??! If you had asked me how many adults in the COUNTRY were unaware about Leap Year, I wouldn't have guessed more than a handful. And yet there were AT LEAST THREE in my one little Zumba class one night?

Ay yi yi. God Bless America.      

And Happy Leap Day!

the rogue

A few nights ago, Matt and I crawled into bed. As I was stretching out and preparing for a peaceful night's slumber, my foot grazed across something decidedly non-sheetsy at the bottom of the bed. I immediately recoiled. "Ew!!" I exclaimed. "What's that? There's something in the bed?!"

I jumped out of bed and pulled the sheets all the way back. To my relief, it was merely a band-aid. A little sketch, sure...but in the grand scheme of things, not a bad resolution to the situation. Besides, I knew where it came from: from my own ankle, the night before. I remember nicking myself shaving and putting on a band-aid. Evidently it came off while I slept. No biggie. I fetched the band-aid and threw it in the trash. End of story.

For me.

Not for Matt, though.

EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!! He was more or less quietly shrieking. That is SOOOO sick!!!!! Ew!! Ew!!! Ew!!! I'm serious. He was almost dry heaving as he curled his body into the fetal position and flashed disgusted looks at me.

"Seriously, Matt? It's not that big of a deal. It came off my leg last night. It didn't even touch you, it was way on my side. Chill out."

He continued on with the dramatics. Seriously, this performance would be much more appropriate had we discovered there was a LIVE COCKROACH in the bottom of the bed, or perhaps a NEST OF RAT BABIES. It was entirely too much for a lone band-aid. But yet he carried on still.

After a long while of putting up with his drama, I finally decided I should get to the bottom of this situation. I do have a bachelor's degree in psychology, after all. Which makes me entirely qualified to evaluate and analyze someone's ridiculous and uncalled-for behavior, right? Right.

After literally minutes of assessment, I determined that to Matt, a used band-aid is THE GROSSEST THING EVER. It is THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN. It is THE MOST NASTY THINK HE CAN EVER POSSIBLY IMAGINE. To think! All these years, I never knew this about him! I even posed this question to him: Which is worse, a band of zombies chasing you, or a used band-aid? and he couldn't answer. This is SERIOUS, folks.

So like any good counselor would, as soon as I unearthed his deepest, darkest fear, I decided to exploit it.

Matt, you don't even KNOW about how nasty band-aids can be. If you walked a mile in my shoes...wow. You would DIE, buddy. Do you KNOW what kids do when they find used band-aids on the floor at school? They PUT THEM IN THEIR MOUTHS. Yeah. I have actually used the phrase "please take that bloody band-aid out of your mouth and put it in the trashcan" on MORE THAN ONE OCCASION. You have NO IDEA how nasty kids and band-aids are. And as their teacher, I have to witness it all.

Upon hearing this most-disgusting tale, Matt is doing that squeamish-freak out thing that you do when you see a roach run across the room and disappear underneath a big pile of your stuff. That's why I decided to tell him a few more stories.

Yeah, and SOMETIMES I even find a random band-aid that ISN'T MINE stuck to my pants or my shoes at school!!!! And I have to pull it off and throw it away!! Just think! Stuck to ME!

Basically, I've been getting a lot of mileage out of this amazing phobia for the last few days. Which is why when I got to school today and saw this, I immediately snapped a picture and texted it to Matt:

   
Did I get a few strange looks from other teachers and students as I crouched over to photograph this gem? Yes. I believe I did. Was it worth it, to send my unsuspecting husband a picture of his Greatest Fear-- a rogue band-aid?

Absolutely. A thousand times over, yes.

'bout time

A few weeks ago, Amanda J. tagged me in a little blog survey meme thing. I've been procrastinating filling it out and passing it on because it looked rather intimidating, and I'm a basically lazy person. However, since I have no other decent inspiration for things to write about at the moment, I figured I'd give it a go. There are a lot of rules for this one, and I'll try to follow them all.

Rules For Bloggers: (you must repost these)

1. Post these rules.

2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.

3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.

4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.

5. Go to their blog and tell them that you’ve tagged them.

6. No stuff in the tagging section about ‘you are tagged if you are reading this.’ blah blah blah, you legitimately have to tag 11 people! 

Section 1: 11 Random Things About Myself

PREFACE TO SECTION 1: It is so hard to think of 'random' things that you don't already know! Hello-- I've been blogging for like a billion years...if it's worth knowing, you probably already know. Ugh. Anyway. I'll try.

1. I wear a size 9.5 or 10 shoe. Narrow.

2. Even though at this point in my life there is a 0% chance of this ever happening, I still cling to a childhood dream of being a Broadway singer/dancer. And I occasionally practice singing and dancing at the same time, just to make sure I'm ready if I get the call. (From who? My agent? Who knows. I just wanna be ready.)

3.  I keep several cities on my 'favorites' on weather.com: Athens, Ga (where I live); Burlington, VT (where my SIL and BIL live); West Palm Beach, FL (where Stine and James live); and Abu Dhabi, UAE (because I still slightly want to move to the Middle East). The result is that I almost always feel thankful for the weather where I am. Except for when I look at West Palm Beach.

4. I am giving up peanut butter for Lent. It's hard. I am also giving up infertility. Ha. We'll see how that works out.

5. I HATE and avoid at all costs sleeping in hotels.

6. I'm loving that in the past week or so, I am getting TONS of repins on Pinterest (from strangers) of things on my 'garden' board: this is all really old stuff I pinned last fall...which means people are thinking about spring and searching for flower tips! This makes me HAPPY!!!!

7. I am going to West Palm Beach in 13 days!!!!! WOOHOO!

8. I read Water for Elephants this weekend. Loved it.

9. I am super excited to bust out my spring/summer clothes because they look WAY BETTER this year. MyFitnessPal FTW! (How do I know that they look way better? Probably because I spent like 30 minutes Friday night having a fashion show for myself. True story.)

10. If I could only eat one 'genre' of food for the rest of my life, it would definitely be Mexican.

11. I would really like to be a mommy. Really. Seriously. Now.

Section 2: My Answers to Amanda's 11 Questions

1. If you had to have any one song play to announce your arrival whenever you walk into a room, which song would it be? 

How about the chorale section from 'Jupiter' (part of The Planets by Holst)...it's what I walked down the aisle to and I think it's beautiful.

2. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? (Note: there is a correct answer to this question in my book, so answer carefully.)

Ummm...I guess I'll go with the chicken.

3. What one thing is guaranteed to make you cry?

Finding out someone is pregnant.

4. What do you do for a living? Did you grow up wanting to do this?

I teach (and tie a lot of shoes, get snot and other bodily fluids on myself, and love dirty germy kids more than I ever thought possible). Umm...at some point I wanted to be a teacher, but it wasn't like a lifelong dream or anything.

5. If you had to name your next (or first) child after a pet you’ve had during your life, which name would you pick?

My three most recent pets all have excellent names: Lola, Aidan, and Nadia. I would probably not choose Aidan since it's so popular (and also since I still currently have Aidan the Cat) or Lola (since it would confuse Lola the Dog), but Nadia would be a good pick.

6. What’s your favorite sport to play? And to watch?

Play? Zumba. It's definitely a sport. Otherwise...ummm...maybe volleyball? Watch: college football.

7. What’s your pet peeve of the moment (because if you’re like me, they change from day to day)?

Being stuck in a group of people who only talk about pregnancy/kids.

8. If you had to eat one thing for breakfast every day for the rest of your life, what would it be?

That's impossible. Breakfast is my favorite meal EVER, so I could never narrow this down. It would be a nice spread of bacon, pecan waffles, Edna Mae's Sour Cream Pancakes, biscuits and gravy, fried ham, grits, cheese toast, and fruit salad. And oatmeal. And English muffins with peanut butter. And breakfast tacos.

9. How many glasses of water do you drink, on average, per day? Are you proud of this number?

Drinking water is the biggest nutrition struggle I have. I try SO HARD to drink lots of water. It's usually 4-5 glasses. On the rare day I manage to drink 8 or more, I feel SO sick. I don't know what's wrong with me.

10.What was your favorite grade in school growing up and why?

All of them. I loved school. Except for 4th grade, when I had mean teachers.

11. How many pairs of shoes (estimate) do you own?

I suck at estimating, so I counted and I have 66 pairs. In my closet. It's entirely possible there are more hiding out in other rooms, but that would be a lot of work to go figure out.

 Part 3: My Questions for YOU
1. How many pairs of shoes do YOU own? (I need to know if I'm normal)
2. If you had to have one type of plastic surgery done (and it were free), what would you pick?
3. If you could have one exotic animal for a pet, what would you choose?
4. What was your (first, most memorable, lamest, you pick) AOL Instant Messenger screen name? When did you stop using AIM (or DID YOU)?
5. If you had to move to another country tomorrow, which country would it be?
6. If you had to enter the Witness Protection Program and get a new identity, what would you choose as your new name?
7. Do you believe aliens could (or do) exist?
8. What's your favorite book?
9. If you could be on a reality show, which one would you choose? (All are fair game: trashy ones (Temptation Island?? Haha), contest ones (Survivor, The Apprentice), as well as stuff like House Hunters)
10. If you had to live in another era, which one would you want to live in?
11. If you were going to invite me over for dinner, what would you serve?


Part 4: Bloggers I Tag for the Above Questions


Note: I'm trying not to tag people who I've already seen do this or get tagged...and I'm tagging more than 11 people because I know most of you WON'T do it!! (slackers....) (or you could try to prove me wrong...)


1. Kristina @ Altogether Beautiful
2. Catherine @ Life's A Beach
3. Mollyanne @ The Gurleys
4. Amanda @ I'm Trying
5. Jenny @ Big Jen the Punisher
6. Lisa @ Beginning the Journey
7. Brooke @ All Boxed Up
8. Colleen @ The Ranunculus Adventures
9. Hollie @ Blog-o-Holl*ic
10. Amy @ Let the Good Times Roll
11. Katy @ Life is Golden
12. Diana @ By the Well

can it be weekend already, please?

OK, sorry I've totally sucked at blogging this week. I have no good excuses except that life is busy and when I have a few spare moments at night, I'd rather be lazy and READ blogs rather than write one. And also, nothing exciting has happened that inspires me to rise above my laziness. Thus-- no blogging.

ANYWAY. So today I had a dentist appointment (I KNOW, how many of your favorite stories start with THAT intro?). In itself, it was completely boring and un-noteworthy (no cavities, FYI) except that it reminded me of one of my favorite stories about my husband.

Over the years, I've gone to more than a few doctor's appointments with Matt. The ones I've attended are typically at a prompt care place on the weekend, when he's sick with the flu or a virus or whatever and I haven't had anything better to do than just tag along and "take care" of him at the visit. Every time you go to the doctor (or dentist, as the case may be) they ask you if you have any allergies. Usually they even ask it in writing, too, on that form you fill out while you're waiting in the lobby with the people who sound like they have The Plague and you're focusing really hard on NOT BREATHING THEIR AIR. So anyway, right. The allergy question. Not that tricky.

But on more than one occasion, I've been sitting in the exam room with Matt when the doctor, about to complete the diagnosis and write a prescription, drops the question on him: "Any allergies I need to know about?"

At this point, Matt squints as he thinks, and then shakes his head slowly. "Naa--oh yeah. Bee stings."

The end.

At this point I wait. Really, Matt?? You're done? Bee stings?

The doctor goes back to his computer, assuming Matt is done listing his allergies. "Bee stings, eh? I don't know HOW I'm going to treat this sinus infection without using the bees! Back to your hive, boys!" That HAS to be what he's thinking.

At this point, ever the micromanaging wife, I gently butt in: "Ummm...aren't you allergic to penicillin?"

The doctor snaps up. Penicillin?? Are you allergic to that?

Matt nods in the affirmative. "Oh, yeah. I am allergic to penicillin. Sorry. Forgot."

And for some reason, this just KILLS ME (in a dying-laughing sort of way, not in an angry way). Every time!! He remembers to inform the doctor that he's allergic to BEE STINGS (which is relevant information, I'm sure, if he had just been stung by a bee or had a strange rash or something, but probably not what the doc was looking for when he's writing a prescription) but neglects to think of the PENICILLIN??!! HAHAHA! 

If you think this is the stupidest story ever, then I'm sorry for wasting your time. But I thought about it today when the dentist was double-checking my allergies, and I momentarily considered telling her I was allergic to grass pollen JUST IN CASE she was thinking about using some to polish my teeth with or something. And also, just so you know, Matt gave me permission to share this story with you folks. I told him I had writer's block really bad and people of the world would REALLY LOVE this story, so he relented. So you should thank him later if you liked the story. 

In other news, I have found ANOTHER awesome new show to be obsessed with this week (because there is NOT enough news about Walking Dead to keep me entertained all week long): Doomsday Preppers on NatGeo. HOLLA-- this is a show that features all these different people who are convinced that DOOMSDAY IS COMING (for a variety of reasons: each show features 4 people with different doomsday paranoias) and are preparing accordingly. It is REALLY interesting and bizarre and provides a lot of people to mock and laugh at while secretly wondering if they might just be on to something. I am sorely unprepared for any sort of survival situation. Walking Dead and Doomsday Preppers has completely convinced me that I will be one of the first ones to go when the poo hits the fan. Oh well. 

My mom took her first Zumba class tonight (in Augusta, not with me)! Apparently I have inspired her! She called me as soon as class was over and her first words were "do YOUR hips move like that??!!" Hahaha. She enjoyed the class, but mentioned several times that "I was just so aware of how WHITE I am the whole time..." which made me laugh. Hopefully some day we can do a class together-- I bet we will be the best mother-daughter Zumba team EVER!

In conclusion, I am going to make Pioneer Woman's Comfort Meatballs (from her cookbook) on Friday night and it's all I can think about. This is how exciting my life is. Be jealous.