christmas tour 2013

Now that my birthday's a wrap (just kidding, you all know I'll keep celebrating and using it as an excuse to do whatever I want and not do whatever I don't want to do for at least another week), it's time to focus on what's up next: CHRISTMAS. But before we can have Christmas, we have to deck the halls. And take pictures. And look at everyone else's decked halls to get more ideas. And then redecorate our own halls. And really...it can all be quite exhausting, but it's FUN, so let's get on with it!

The annual Christmas Tour of Homes with Kelly's Korner! I look forward to this every year (is that sad to admit?)- making new friends and getting awesome ideas for crafts and purchases and styling and traditions? Love it. 

We'll start out front. To be honest, pretty much no one except the UPS guy uses the front door. But it's pretty anyway. This is my picture frame ornament art I made last year (and I made a tutorial!).

 I absolutely love having this on the door. Since our door is black, I love how the bright colors pop and stand out-- you can see it from the street! And I love that the colors are bright and fun-- totally different from the colors I use indoors, but it doesn't matter! Also- this post is by far the most 'pinned' thing from my blog. It's bizarre how many people pinned and repinned it all summer long. Summer. Seriously. Anyway...

Back to the inside. My favorite thing about decorating this year was that we just repainted and slightly redecorated the living room a few weeks prior to decorating for Christmas. So it really felt like a new space-- the walls are so much brighter...even though almost all of our Christmas decor is the same stuff we've been using for years, it felt fresh and new since the living room looked different.

The mantel stays pretty similar each year. This year I added the little (live) trees-- I found them at Trader Joe's and thought they'd be a fun accent. The stick tree was one of my first attempts at crafting a few years ago. I think it's quaint, haha. 

The mantel from another angle. Actually, the big balls (heh heh) are new this year. It's a Christmas miracle that they haven't plummeted to their deaths. The blue shelf with the nativity is temporarily being housed there. Normally it lives where the tree currently is. But this spot was perfect since we still don't have our glider, so...it worked out nicely.

Same thing, but the view from the couch/coffee table. And also the best candle on earth. If you learn anything from me today, it is that you don't need ANY DECORATIONS, ALL YOU NEED IS THIS CANDLE and your house will feel like Christmas. Promise. Also, the day after Christmas I plan on mowing down everyone at the mall in my mad rush to score about 40 of these candles on discount. Prepare yourself for pain, Athens. (PS. The candle is from Bath and Body Works. And it is amazing.)

This really isn't the greatest shot of the other side of the room, but it's the only one I got that included our new rug. The rug isn't Christmas-y, but I realized I hadn't shown pictures of it yet and it seemed like the right thing to do. So there she is! Also...our tree, Fred Roger. And one of my (many, many, many) yarn wreaths on the back of the front door.

The piano is off to the right, on the other side of the window. Normally I do a lot of decorating on the piano. I didn't do a thing this year. No particular reason...most likely I'd just finished decorating it (with 'normal' decorations) after we redid the living room...and I didn't feel like taking all of them down and redoing it with Christmas decor. Oh well. It happens. So no pictures because it's like a hulking Grinch. Until I start playing Christmas carols! 

Just kidding, I pretty much never play Christmas carols. I play I Dreamed a Dream and Foolish Games and call it a set. Best set ever.

A final parting shot of Fred Roger before you go:

Presh, aren't we?? I haven't even pulled out my wood burning kit this year. I'm falling apart, people!!

So that's my shorter-than-usual Christmas tour. If you're dying to know what it looked like in years past (with green walls and a festive piano), check out my 2012, 2011, and 2010 Christmas House tours.

If you're new from Kelly's Korner-- thanks for stopping by!! Feel free to stick around if you are interested in any of the following: laughing at ridiculous stuff, grammar, eye makeup, infertility and/or failed adoptions (I have both!), manatees, or you hate birds. You'll fit in fine here.

Regular people: Thanks so much for the birthday love yesterday!!! Since this home tour was scheduled for today I (obviously) wasn't able to do a proper birthday recap, but I put updates and pictures throughout the day on Instagram and Facebook, so check it out there if you're just dying to know how fancy we got at work...or if I got the Tarte LipSurgence set I was lusting after (spoiler: I did!!!!). 

Have a happy weekend! 

PS. Matt also got me the fixins to make the Yuletide...sooooo...yeah, I'll probably have an awesome weekend ;) Feel free to drop by if you're in town!

PPS. OOOOOH also he got me a BATHTUB PILLOW!!!! My bubble baths are about to be Code Red, yall.

12/12: let's get it started

I hope you have that 'Let's Get it Started' (HEY!) song in your head now. Ha.

It's BIRTHDAY DAY! And it's barely started, but so far, so good!

In my little circle of close co-workers, we all plan little celebrations for each other's birthdays. Yesterday they informed me that today I should wear something 'fancy and borderline work-inappropriate.' They suggested sequins, uncomfortably high heels, and fancy hair (what, they don't like my ponytails?). Um...HOLLA. Those words speak to my heart. I always complain about never having opportunities to dress up fancy. Look at them...creating one!! They obviously know me well. Unfortunately, it's like 30 degrees today...my 'fancy' wardrobe is limited to start with, but being freezing cold definitely gave me an extra challenge to deal with. 

So my day started with a longer-than-usual amount of time spent beautifying myself. Now that I'm 31...sheesh. It takes extra work to look fabulous, I guess.

I pulled out all of my lovely eye shadow pallets for inspiration. And then I tried to take a picture of my finished eyes. And that's really hard to do, actually. If I open my eyes up wide (so that I don't look drugged/weird), you can't really see my eyelids and you miss the point. If I close my eyes...well, those just look awful, plus the picture is all wonky cause I'm not actually LOOKING. Anyway. This was my best attempt at capturing today's artwork. Trust me, it's great. I used no less than 29 products per eyelid. 

While I primped, Matt cooked. He has the day off (lucky punkface), so he fixed my favorite weekend breakfast, blimmies. I know I mentioned blimmies the other day and some of you said you were going to Google it to see what I was talking about. Here's the thing: I don't think Google knows what I'm talking about. Blimmies (the ones we eat) are an old family thing from my dad's parents' German (or Russian? something like that) neighbors. I'll tell you all about them later, but the stuff I saw on Google didn't seem much like what we eat. Here's a visual of today's breakfast:

They're a lot like crepes. And the traditional (in my family, anyway) dipping sauce is CORN SYRUP. Not even lying. Not maple syrup. CORN SYRUP. It's so awesome because it makes me a total hypocrite. Most of the time I'm reading labels, judging and eschewing products made with corn syrup. And then I eat blimmies and I'm like PASS THE CORN SYRUP SO I CAN EAT IT STRAIGHT-UP! It's amazing.

Then I came to work and now we're all up to date. I have yet to go upstairs and see my Fancy Coworkers (or get any pictures of my complete outfit/fanciness), so now I'm off to do that. Oh, and also, like...work. Right. Goodbye!!

PS. Can we all just take a moment and remember how much cooler it was last year when my birthday was on 12/12/12? Sigh.

confessions: Christmas ed.

I have declared today to be a special CHRISTMAS CONFESSIONS day. And I don't have a lot, but what I do have...well, it could be bad enough that you cyber-divorce me. And my blog. But I can't keep living a lie. I won't.

Confession #1:

I hate black and white movies.

And this includes all black and white movies. Even...

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Yeah. Sorry. I know it's a sweet story and all, and it's a classic, and everybody loves it, but IT IS BLACK AND WHITE!! It hurts my eyes. I can't tell what's happening. The people talk funny and the sound is weird. I fall asleep. I'm sorry!! 

I've watched It's a Wonderful Life probably three or four times anyway, despite my prejudices. And I just...no. I'm gonna say it. Guard your eyes if you hold old b&w movies as something sacred...

I wish they would re-make the movie. In color. With modern technology and sound.

God bless ol' Jimmy and Donna, they were wonderful...but I just think the movie could reach more people today if it didn't freaking hurt my eyes to look at it.

Matt hates this particular quality of mine (why can't he just find it endearing?). He always jokes that I won't watch a movie if it's more than a decade old. He's mostly right, but still-- must he rub it in my face? I can't help it. Old movies make me feel uncomfortable and nervous. And they hurt my eyes. It's a physical affliction. You can't judge a girl for that.

CONFESSION #2:

I believed in Santa for an inappropriately, awkwardly long time. To an embarrassingly old age (the particulars of which I'm not at liberty to disclose). The thing is, I thought no one knew. I knew none of my friends believed in Santa-- whatev. I could laugh about it with them while secretly still believing myself. I have an inordinately large capacity for hope and optimism...which has generally served me well in life, but definitely manifested itself in the ability to believe in Santa WAY TOO LONG. But like I said- I thought no one knew.

I was wrong. Apparently EVERYONE KNEW that Really Old Erika still believed in Santa. Luckily for me, they found it strangely endearing (or weird) enough that they played along. For a long time. Apparently (I find this out waaaaay later in life...like in college) it was quite the topic of conversation behind my back! How to respond when I found new 'evidence' of Santa's existence...yeah. Because I was old enough to research things on the internet and I FOUND EVIDENCE SOMETIMES. 

I think that there was a lot of blessing my heart back then. And now. Because once Matt found out about this situation (Matt, who never ever thought there was a Santa, not even when he was like 3...poor deprived child), he made up for lost time. He likes to treat me like I still believe in Santa. He'll ask me the 'tough Santa questions' when we see Santa at the mall. He covers my ears if people are talking about 'playing Santa' with their kids. 

You know what? Whatever. If I want to believe in Santa, I will. But I definitely have a soft spot in my heart for those glorious kids who are like 15 and still believe. If there even are any. I could have been the last one.

(And no, it didn't wreck my life or make me cry or ruin me when I finally came to the conclusion that Santa wasn't real. It was something I just realized on my own one day. It made me a little sad but I didn't like hate my parents or God or whatever alarmists say it is that telling your kids about Santa will do. That's ridiculous. It was totally fine. Then again, I had the coping skills of an adult by that time, so maybe I was better equipped for the let down than a six-year-old is. Who knows.)

If you made it through all that and we can still be friends...hooray!! I'm off to enjoy my last day of being 30!

on happy endings

There are three notable anniversaries in my life this week. Two-thirds of them suck.

Yesterday, 12/9, was the one-month anniversary of The Worst Day Ever- the day we lost our daughter-to-be (I find that I don't really know how to refer to her. Can I call her our daughter? She was for two and a half days. But halfway through November 9, she ceased being so. So I don't know what to call her. And saying her name makes me cry). For obvious reasons, this is a sucky anniversary.

Thursday, 12/12, will be my 31st birthday. I hope it will be a good day. I like birthdays and presents and feeling special. So it will probably be a happy day of celebration.

Thursday, 12/12, will also be the five-year anniversary of our 'trying to conceive' journey. Five years. Done. Nothing to show for it. December 13 will be my SIXTH CONSECUTIVE DECEMBER 13 of trying to be a mom. Obviously this is a terrible, terrible anniversary. One I never EVER thought I'd be 'celebrating.' Good grief. If you ever hear that someone plans to start TTCing on their birthday-- DO ANYTHING YOU CAN TO STOP THEM. Don't let them ruin their birthday for the rest of their lives (assuming their journey goes as poorly as mine has). Oh, to be so young and naive again...

I was thinking about this last night. This long stupid 'journey' (to put it nicely). Five years...and no happy ending. And then I thought about happy endings. And how much everyone loves them. And how it's what you root for, hope for, and long for. My 'happy ending' would be a child-- or better yet, more than one. It's the end goal. And obviously, assuming I ever reach the goal...it's not the end of anything. Maybe just a long-awaited conclusion to but one of the 'story arcs' in my life. But right now it's the only happy ending I can imagine. And once I get it, I know more struggles will come and there will be new journeys and new challenges and I'll have new happy endings to set my sights on. But right now, and for the last five years, it's been the only one I want.

But not every story has a happy ending. And I'm not saying that to be depressing or woe is me. But it's true. I started thinking, and I realized that many- if not most- of my favorite stories actually DON'T have happy endings. And yet they're still my favorite stories.

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Did you watch Lost? It's one of my favorite shows ever. EVER. One of the best stories ever, I think. If you've never watched, here's what you need to know: the story begins with a seemingly simple problem- a huge plane crashes onto an island. The people want to get off the island. But as the episodes unfold, over seasons and years, there are layers and layers and LAYERS and PILES OF LAYERS of mystery, coincidences, stories, backstories, random stories that go nowhere, more mysteries, characters...all this stuff builds and builds. There are so many storylines that you forget what the original question even was. There are characters that seem major and then they just disappear (off the island and the story). There are questions that never get answered. But somehow the writers keep making you think that somehow it all ties together. Somehow there are answers to all of the questions, and somehow it's all going to make sense in the end. And so we pressed on through seasons and seasons of amazing storytelling...enjoying each episode as it happened. Anxiously awaiting what would happen next. And dying to know what it all meant. 

I couldn't wait for the series finale. I couldn't wait for it all to be unveiled, to figure out how it all worked. To know the meaning of a million different disconnected pieces...to see what the puzzle turned out to be.

And then the finale came, and it sucked. I mean, it was okay. But it pretty much sucked. It didn't answer our questions. It maybe even opened up a few new ones. And so all these things we'd been waiting and waiting to see some resolution about...it didn't happen. We didn't get our happy ending.

And yet...it's the best TV series I've ever seen. Even though there was no happy ending. The show was still worth it. I can watch it now, and even though I know that my questions aren't going to get answered...that I'll never know why this particular storyline appeared and then disappeared...why this character did this or that...well, it doesn't really matter. I know there's no happy ending now, but it's still a damn good story. 

All my favorite young adult dystopian novels? Great stories, crappy endings. Love 'em anyway. At least in my books and movies, I've grown to appreciate the fact that great stories don't always have happy endings. Do I prefer happy endings? Absolutely, without a doubt, hands down YES. But the lack of a happy ending doesn't mean that a story sucks. Some stories have a higher purpose than to make the reader feel good at the end, I guess.

And so now I've compared my own life to award-winning TV shows and novels...because I guess it's another attempt to convince myself that my lack of 'happy endings' in my own life doesn't mean that my life isn't or can't be meaningful. My story doesn't have to suck just because my obvious goal hasn't been reached. And when I look at a particular 'story arc,' like our failed adoption, I always want to know what the point of it was. Why did we go through that if it was all for nothing? Why couldn't we have never heard about that baby? Why couldn't the mom have never considered adoption or picked us? And I hate story lines like that. Well, I hate them when I'm the one that has to live through them. But I'm trying to remind myself that not every story, or even story-within-a-story, has a happy ending. But it's okay. The overall tale can still be meaningful-- even beautiful-- even with dissatisfying stories within.

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So I'll embark on another year of life. Another year of trying to have a family of 3+. Another month without our sweet baby. And I'll try to remember. Happy endings are nice...but even without them, life can be beautiful.