curry fingers and vacation partners.

Last night I cooked a new recipe (and it was really good) and while overall the recipe was super fast and easy, it did involve first toasting some curry powder to use in a dressing. Toasting curry powder. It was awesome. It smelled awesome. But for some reason now, over 12 hours later, I'm sitting in my office and every time my hands are near my face, all I can smell is curry. Oops. I'm hoping I'm the only one who notices this. Well, until lunchtime when I bust out my leftovers. But then everyone will just be jealous.

Lest you think I've been doing totally exciting stuff this week instead of blogging, let me set you straight. I haven't been. Just reading. I'm finally over Gone Girl and back to reading books that follow my favorite Formula. In case you were wondering, right now Dee Henderson is my go-to author for books that will suit my current mood. I know. I know. I am completely 100% lame. Oh well. At least I'm entertained. What I find particularly entertaining in her books is how heavily all of the characters rely on pagers. And these books were written in the 2000s!! All the characters have cell phones, because that's how they return each other's calls...but still they ALWAYS page each other first. It really cracks me up. Does anyone still know anyone that uses pagers? Is there some secret underground network of people who can't let them go? I often wonder the same thing about fax machines, which is clearly why I have an entire 'label' dedicated to the fax machine phenomenon. Yesterday one of the volunteers here at my work was hanging out in my office and he was musing on fax machines and why anyone uses them anymore. I must say- some people still love 'em. I probably get things faxed to me about once a week. It's crazy.

Oh wait- something exciting DID happen this week!! We are going to have company on our vacation this year!! Woooo!! Some friends of ours were thinking about planning a similar vacation (relaxing, relaxing, relaxing, unlimited food and drinks, relaxing) and after a few conversations, we decided the best thing ever would be for them to book the same vacation as us so that we can all be sloths together in Mexico. HOLLA!! It took a few weeks for them to get theirs booked, but now it's done and we are going to be spending 6 lovely days in Mexico with FRIENDS this time!! I am super beyond excited. It's going to be the best of both worlds (traveling as a couple, traveling with friends) because we'll have our own rooms (as opposed to staying in a condo together or something) at the resort and we can spend as much time together or apart as we want. Or split up guys and girls! Or whatever! We are just super excited, and at least 40% of the excitement (okay, kidding) is because now we will have reliable people to take pictures of us and won't rely on 'selfies' to document the entire trip! Oh and there will be other people to talk to once Matt and I run out of things to talk about! Don't lie- don't you always hit that place on a vacation? Umm...we've been stuck together 24/7 for x number of days...EVERYTHING that I've seen, you've seen...EVERYTHING that I've done, you've done...THERE IS NOTHING LEFT TO TALK ABOUT! That really isn't a problem for Matt and I because we're totally content to spend 80% of our time in silence (well, because I'm reading the whole time), but it'll be nice to be able to leave and go do something with Jessie and then when I get back THERE WILL BE SOMETHING NEW TO TELL MATT!!! Ha. So, yes. A new round of vacation enthusiasm. Because my enthusiasm wasn't already high enough.

I'm getting extremely anxious and antsy for warmer weather to show up so that I can start spending my life outside in the garden and flower beds. I know YOU are getting antsy to start being inundated with obnoxious pictures of my flowers, aren't you? Just wait. It's coming.

Matt has an appointment next week to follow up from his surgery. And I just now looked for the blog to link to about his surgery, and there isn't one? How did I manage to not blog about his surgery? When I had surgery it got its own category assigned! Matt's surgery? Nah. Well, guess we can see who does the blogging 'round here. Oops. Anyway-- this just in, Matt had surgery December 14!! The surgery was to correct a bunch of vein abnormalities and other junk down in The Region. They don't do the surgery follow-up until 3 months later because that's how long it takes to see a change in sperm quality/production/etc. So next week he'll have the new SAs done, as well as some ultrasounds and such to see if the surgery was successful. We won't get the results that day (I won't even be there), probably not for another week or two (or whenever we can get another appointment and I can be there)...but it's exciting/scary to kinda get the ball rolling again. It's been such a lonnnnnng three months with no trips to the RE (not). Of course I am praying that there are huge improvements and that the ultrasounds and SAs reveal that. But I'm also curious/scared about what our next steps could/should/might be. 

Well, that's as much updating as I have for the morning. My heart is rather heavy today as it's a tough day for my sister and brother-in-law...he's being shipped back out to ____ (a place very far away where there's a war and people try to kill people like my BIL) for the next ____ (long time) and I can't imagine how heartbreaking it is for both of them. Our prayers are that he will be safe (of course) and come home to her quickly. He's been deployed many times, but this is his first since they've been married (over 2 years). I just can't imagine how her heart breaks as she has to say goodbye. And now I'm going to make myself cry, so let's wrap this up and yall keep them in your thoughts and prayers if you will. 

unreliable narrators

Don't worry, my brain is still stuck on Gone Girl even though it's been 3 days since I finished it. That's how you know it was a good book. Even The Bachelor: Women Tell All wasn't much distraction for my brain's constant trying to figure out what it is about the book that has me so caught up in it. Although I did take a few minutes to marvel at Tierra's special brand of crazy and try to compare and contrast it with Amy (book character)'s. Anyone else out there doing that? No? Shall I make a Venn diagram for you? Okay, kidding. Kinda.

So I was doing some 'research' about Gone Girl- if you can consider Wikipedia to be legit research. I can, since I'm not in college and not presenting this 'research' to anyone. It's a great source of info, especially since I don't especially care if the info is true or not. And really I was trying to find out if they're making a movie and if so, who is involved. (What I've found: Yes, they are. Reese Witherspoon's production company bought the rights to the screenplay and Gillian Flynn is writing the screenplay. Reese is only going to be producing it, not acting (thank God). The guy who directed Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is going to be directing.) Anyway, after reading the Wiki and then several other review-type things talking about the book and it's success/criticisms, a lot of what it comes down to is the book's use of unreliable narrators. That seems to be what people's love or hate balances on: either you like (or can handle) unreliable narration, or you can't. 

And it's been awhile since I've taken any English or literature classes, so I'd forgotten (or never learned) the term 'unreliable narrator', but as soon as I saw it (and in the context of a book I'd just finished reading), I was like THAT'S IT. That is why I loved it. Unreliable narration? Love it. And who knew it was a whole 'thing' in literature? Apparently so. Not in 'genre books,' but in 'literature,' which is apparently why Gone Girl is some kind of crossover book, having many features of both genre books and Real Books. People who like genre books (read: books written for mass appeal that more or less follow their genre's Formula, aka everything I normally read) tend to NOT appreciate an unreliable narrator because hello-- it all falls apart. If you can't trust that what your narrator is telling you is actually true, then where does that leave you? As a reader, you have only the narrator to lead you through the book's plot. You can't observe things on your own. You can't really draw your own conclusions. So to read a story and then a third of the way through realize that your narrator(s) are lying? That what they saw may not actually have been there? That they've been lying not only to the police and their friends, but to YOU? I mean, talk about betrayal. Apparently lots of people can't handle that. They slam the book shut and swear it off because how dare the narrator mislead me.

But I love it. And so I've been reflecting, these past two days, trying to figure out why. Why do I love an unreliable narrator? Why would that appeal to me? I'm a rule-follower. I love formulas (and Excel spreadsheets). I thrive on order and things going The Way They're Supposed To. So why on Earth would my heart get so excited about someone (albeit a fictional character) lying their way through a story, causing me to question what is actually happening the whole time?

I think it's because in real life...well, Real Life is lived through unreliable narrators. All of us, we're unreliable narrators. I see life through my eyes. I don't have the benefit of somehow objectively knowing everything else that's going on, absorbing and processing all of the information, and presenting it in a linear and true fashion. That really only happens in books. I see only what I see, and it's greatly influenced by my thoughts and emotions, and if I'm telling a story, it's absolutely biased by my own perception, my own life experience, and quite honestly- maybe it's unreliable. Maybe not intentionally. But someone else could tell the same story from their own point of view and maybe it's a totally different story.

Like everyone's most hated Bachelor girl, Tierra. I mean, homegirl is the DEFINITION of an unreliable narrator, right? What she thought was happening? WAS NOT HAPPENING. And we all have the benefit of a team of camera crews and hours of video footage to affirm that fact. Homegirl had this whole drama worked up in her head and perceived other people's words and actions in a way that was essentially wrong. And when she tells her story, well...it's wrong. And we can call her out on it since the whole thing was being filmed. 

But most of the time we don't have some objective bird's-eye view of a situation, like we do on reality TV (I know, I know-- not really objective and probably extremely biased based on whatever the producers feel like showing us. I KNOW). And so we go through life narrating our own stories and everyone else's based on what we see and we feel and we think and just...taking it all in as though our narration is the absolute truth. 

And really, there's no point to this rambling. Sorry if you thought I was leading up to some bold thesis or intelligent bring-it-all-together. Please. I'm a blogger, not a professor. All I've come up with is that I like the unreliable narrator because it reminds me of life. Of seeing situations through someone's eyes and agreeing with them and following along and then suddenly realizing that maybe they're a tiny bit wrong. Maybe what they're saying isn't the whole truth. Maybe you need to go back and question what they saw in Chapter 1 because maybe that isn't the whole story about what actually happened. And maybe that's annoying, and it'd be easier if everything was just always clear and every person's words could be taken at face value all the time. But maybe it's what makes life interesting. And books phenomenal. 

gone. finally.

Things I Accomplished Yesterday:

1. Read Gone Girl cover to cover.

...and...that's the end of my list. Oops. One accomplishment. But at 420ish pages...it was at least kind of a legit accomplishment, right?

I feel like I'm the last person on Earth to read the book, but seriously-- I signed up to be on a waiting list for it at the library in SEPTEMBER. I got the book FRIDAY. Let me help you with the math: that's like a million months or something. So I very well might be the last person in the world (or at least the Athens Regional Library System) to read it, but it was definitely worth the wait. And like almost everyone else I know who's read it-- the minute I finished (12:15 a.m. this morning, actually) I was DYING to talk about it to someone (ANYONE!) else that's read it. That book just BEGS to be discussed. So here I am to discuss it-- if you've read it, feel free to share your thoughts!! If you haven't read it, then you should. I'll warn you before I throw out any spoilers. Not that spoilers bother ME in the least (I usually read the end of a book first, just to make sure I'll like it)...but I know some people prefer to not know.

General Thoughts:

Loved it. Five stars. First of all-- the writing style just killed me. How Gillian Flynn managed to take such dark and creepy situations and topics and make it feel light-hearted and witty, I'll never understand. This book was fun to read, without being dumbed-down or lacking in depth. At the same time-- this book was CREEPY AS ALL GET OUT. Nick and Amy are incredibly complex, messed up characters, and their marriage is toxic as hell. This book could have been really scary. But it wasn't. But I'm pretty sure my eyeballs were as wide as dinner plates the whole time I read. Are you SERIOUS?!?! Can anyone actually BE THIS CRAZY??!?! 

Since I was the last person on Earth to read it, I already knew enough about the book to know that there'd be some crazy twists. I was watching for them. I was waiting. I was trying to guess what they'd be. I totally failed. HOLY CRAP. Gillian Flynn is a genius. Maybe a sadistic genius, but a genius nonetheless. I kind of want to be her best friend. And read other books she's written (anyone read any? are they any good?). The ending of the book totally blew me away. On the one hand, I hated it. On the other hand, it was absolutely perfect. How she managed to keep me reading 400 pages about two characters I basically grow to hate and then wrapped it up with an ending that is far better than either of them deserve and yet I still loved and it thought it was brilliant? I mean, wow. 

SPOILERS ARE IN PURPLE. If you haven't read it and don't want to have it spoiled, skip the purple stuff.

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I wanted Nick to kill her. I really did. I never cheer for murder, but seriously??!?! Amy needed killing. I feel like those two are excellent candidates for a murder-suicide, actually. But then the way it did end? Wow. Just...wow. Of course I had to be a little bit bitter that she so easily impregnated herself with the frozen sperm (really??? REALLY???!! Cause it's that easy. No shots, no IUI, just...oh yeah, I decided I wanted to get pregnant to trap you and BAM I DID IT...here's me giving you the finger, Amy.), but then again she is easily the most evil-genius character ever, so I'm not surprised. 
*******************************************************

In conclusion, this book was freakin awesome. It is by no means 'family-friendly.' If it were a movie, it would be R. But it's easily the most entertaining, intelligent, and well-written thriller I've read in a long, long time. 

So that's what I accomplished yesterday. Oh, I also ate some Mint Moose Tracks ice cream. That's about it. Basically it was the kind of day I dreamed about as a kid: when I grow up, I can read ALL DAY and EAT ICE CREAM WHENEVER I WANT and NO ONE CAN STOP ME!!!!!!!!!! ...so, here's to being a grown up. And here's to being decidedly less psycho than Amy. Gillian Flynn, I lift my glass (of Mint Moose Tracks ice cream) to you. Thanks for a fabulous Saturday. 
 

tears. and makeup.

One of the girls I work with cracks me up talking about her small group (home group, community group, whatever you prefer to call it) sometimes. She doesn't like the one she's in this semester, and her main reason is that nobody cries. According to her, the quality of a (all-female, presumably) small group is measured by how frequent and abundant the tears are. After all, tears indicate people are being vulnerable, sharing, growing...all the things that make a good small group. If no one's crying, no one's growing, my friend says. 

I couldn't help but think of this last night at my own small group. The one where pretty much every single person was crying multiple times throughout the night. This must be a DAMN good small group. LOOK HOW MUCH WE CRY!!! It was a beautiful thing and it made my heart happy. We're reading and discussing this book 

 and it's really good. And tear-inducing, apparently. So anyway. If your small group needs to kick it up a notch, may I recommend this book? Or just join my group. Guaranteed greatness.

After group ended, one of my friends managed to convince me to go to Target with her to help her shop makeup. You can imagine how much convincing this took. I really hate shopping for makeup. Ha. Anyway, I must have done a good job because within 20 minutes she was begging for me to take her on a field trip to the nearest Sephora (an hour away) to show her how to really makeup shop. What can I say? I'm like that corner drug dealer your parents warned you about, only my drug is overpriced makeup and my trench coat is a cute orange purse.

Yesterday was a good day. This morning after dressing, I looked in the mirror and knew that if my dad saw me today he would say "Gig 'em!! Hooowah!!" (or however you spell out that noise that Aggie people make) I would feel weird posting outfit pictures two days in a row, so you'll just have to guess what I'm wearing. I'll give you a clue, though. It involves this super fab maroon dress I got on SUPER MEGA ULTRA CLEARANCE at Banana Republic a few weeks ago. Then I got to work and the first song that came on my Pandora station was Michael Buble's Save the Last Dance for Me and I love that song and I'm not gonna lie- I think it's going to be a great day today.