Friday, November 2, 2012

for the love of excel


Last night, while chatting with some friends, I discovered that there are two kinds of people in the world.

Actually, scratch that. Any time you make some blanket “two kinds of people” statement, what you’re really meaning is that there are three kinds of people. People A and People B (your original “two kinds”)…and then the People who couldn’t care less about A, B, or anything having to do with A or B. People who are completely apathetic about A and B, and actually, as soon as anyone starts talking about A and B, these people will probably zone out and/or leave. So see ya later, those people. Haters gonna hate.

So back to my original story. There are two types of people in the world: People who love Excel spreadsheets and people who don’t. Obviously I am in the right camp of People, as a girl who truly-madly-deeply loves her some Excel. Last night I happened to be in the company of several other ladies who harbor similar nerd-love, and we spent a glorious 15 or 20 minutes reveling in our joint passion for spreadsheets, while our non-Excel-loving friends rolled their eyes and baffled that anyone could ever like—much less love—such a dry, uninspired program. It was lots of fun being in the company of like-minded spreadsheet-lovers, and it gave me a few minutes to reflect on the marvel of Excel.
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I blame it on my dad. That man has such a deep and abiding love for Excel (and such a vast and unending storehouse of spreadsheets that organized every last detail of our lives) that I had no choice but to embrace the spreadsheet from an early age. I’ll admit that in high school and early college, my Excel useage was not very enthusiastic—I mean, there’s nothing flashy or sexy about a bunch of little rectangles and numbers. But as the years went by and I found myself not only embracing my dad’s myriad spreadsheets but creating my own to suit my personal organizational needs, I had to admit: Dad was right. Excel does make the world (or at least my world) a better place. A more organized place. A more easily-sorted place. And so I have no shame in admitting that I now have and use spreadsheets to govern almost every aspect of my life.

At work, I have a bit of a reputation for being an Excel nazi. That is—I tend to yell at people doing dumb things like organizing their data or making an inventory in Word. And then I rip it out of their hands and redo the entire thing into Excel—why?? Because it is better, people. Work smarter, not harder—and if you type up a long list of data with a million categories and variables into Word and then suddenly decide you’d like to look at and analyze it not in alphabetical-by-last-name-order as you had it, but by birthdate? Or neighborhood? Or you want to highlight in yellow all of the DLLs? YOU’RE SCREWED. Have fun working all night. Shoulda done it in Excel. Lucky for you—I probably already did, so I’ll send you a copy. Maybe.

And lest you think spreadsheets are any less useful in your home—well, they are not. If you could see my budgeting/bank account spreadsheets, you would weep. They are a thing of beauty and majesty (not the bottom lines, of course. We’re po’. But the organization of it all!). My annual Christmas card spreadsheets? Perfection. Easily sorted and analyzed, in case you were curious about which state I send the most cards to…or who I got a card back from. Need me to add a bunch of things up? I will always, always do it in Excel—just type it all in, highlight and sum it, and you’re done! Worried you maybe miss-typed a number or two? Simply look back through it all and double check, without having to re-type the entire thing like you would on a calculator. Truly, Excel makes the world a better place.

And so this is my heartfelt and completely lame tribute to one of my favorite things. Spending just a few nerdy moments last night with girlfriends basking in our shared Excel-love made me feel so happy and so connected, I just had to spill it all out here. I mean, what if there are more of us out there? More closeted spreadsheet-freaks, not knowing that there are others just like them out there? That would be tragic! So I tell you—come out and reveal yourself here. It’s safe. You will find company and people of a like mind. We can email each other our favorite spreadsheets and frolic in the nerdiness together. Together, we will make the world a more (drumroll, please!) Excel-lent place.


14 comments:

  1. I have each task needed to be done to clean our house in an Excel spreadsheet, as well as guest lists for all the (amazing! awesome! few) parties we have.

    I love me some Excel!

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  2. I am totally with you in the A camp! (That one liked excel, right?). I still have people asking me for my wedding excel templates. I have them zipped and ready to go to those I deem worthy who will appreciate them for all they can do...

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  3. I'm an excel lover too. I converted all my addresses to an excel spread sheet years ago (right after getting married). I simply hated having addresses in a book that when anyone moved I had to mark them out--just plain messy. I have used excel to list presents recieved and a place to check off when I write/mail thank yous.

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  4. As your BFF, it won't surprise you that I, too, am a big fan of Excel. And I appreciate that Google Docs (now Google Drive) lets me save Excel sheets on there (ie: Christmas card list) so I can update info from ANY computer! Sadly, however, you can't do all of the fancy stuff in that version... but still.

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  5. Another Excel lover. Brandon hated Excel until he started using it heavily at work. Now he has come to the dark side.

    I had our budget 5 years out at one point. Seriously.. I just kept going and going.

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  6. Love Excel (and most of the time, Numbers on a Mac). I also blame my love of organized lists and Excel spreadsheets from my engineer father. Go Dad.

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  7. Hahaha:) I LIKE Excel (love may be a little strong for our relationship at this point) and use it for several things at work (by choice). My husband, on the other hand, LOVES Excel. I will not be showing him this post because he will probably wish I was more like all of you super Excel lovers(I blame my artsy side for preventing me from being totally Type A).

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  8. You've actually inspired me to switch our budget from Word to Excel. I never considered it before because I'm not familiar with Excel. I am one of 'those people' who painstakingly added up each figure every time I made a budget change. And it was pretty hard because I usually messed up somewhere along the way. I already love the new spreadsheet- huzzah!!!

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  9. This post made me laugh. Other than having our household budget in Excel, which I'll admit is quite handy, I never use it. However, it may be useful to use it for other things as well. As mentioned above, to-do lists, cleaning lists, etc. Perhaps I can spend my weekend exploring the exciting world of Excel.

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  10. we are totally an excel spreadsheet household! We even used them to manage our address list for our wedding (including separate tabs for each shower/event;rehearsal, etc) and printed versions with a column for the gift received of course! :) Can't live without it!

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  11. Should this be the time that I tell you that I've never used Excel? Are you still going to speak to me?

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  12. I do love using Excel for any and all organizing of lists, etc. at work - especially when math is required! However, I've recently moved to Mvelopes.com for our budgeting needs. It links to your bank account and pulls in transactions and you drag and drop them into envelopes that you have created and "funded" according to your spending plan. It takes all the guess work out, I love it! And there's an app for your phone, so I can check how much is in any given envelope while we're out or assign new transactions.

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  13. I am firmly in the other camp. I mean, I just don't get it. It's always a mess and I don't know how to do anything other than type in the boxes and then you can't even read all of what I typed.
    I vote for an excel basics tutorial.

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