panem et circenses

Surviving the endless months at home required a certain amount of panem et circenses to escape what otherwise could be (and sometimes was) an overwhelming situation. I was (am!) so thankful for social media during this time. I mean, it's certainly a double-edged sword. I could for sure do without knowing how...questionable...some of my acquaintances and family members are on matters of politics, science, and common sense. *sigh* But hey, my 'unfollow' finger got stronger and stronger, so there's that. BUT man did social media come in clutch with solid recommendations for books, shows, podcasts, and products to keep me entertained, distracted, and having things to look forward to. In that vein, I figured I'd pay it forward (slash document for the historical record) with some of my favorite things in the Essentially Meaningless but Fun Anyway category, in case Summer 2021 proves to require some distraction, too. (Please ignore/enjoy the mostly random, old, unrelated pictures...but what's a blog without pictures?)

Books

Turns out pandemics result in a lotttt of reading for me! I completed 77 books in 2020, and am at 30 for 2021 so far. Here are a few of my favorites, and please note that in general, I'm looking for total escapism here. I did read a few more serious nonfiction books, but for the most part, I just wanna live in another world when I'm reading. (As always, you can follow me on Goodreads for more reading goodness!)

(Note that I'm skipping most of the 'hottest books of 2020' here, although I read and enjoyed many of them. These books below are mostly older and widely available through your library or Libby!)

1. A Court of Thorns and Roses (series), by Sarah J. Maas. I recommend all 4 novels and 1 novella currently in the series, but be sure to read them in order. I did not used to be a faeries-in-imaginary-lands type person. I am now. Note that this series is marketed as YA for reasons I do not understand, but I would not suggest letting actual young people read it. This is rated R for suuuuure. These books are an investment of TIME, as each one is like 600+ pages, but hey, that's hours upon hours you get to spend thinking about something other than your normal life, so it's a gift, really.

2. The Book of Longings, by Sue Monk Kidd. An absolutely incredible story written from the perspective of Ana, Jesus' (fictional) wife. This story just sucked me in and blew my mind in the best possible way. Hiiiighly recommend. And don't skip the Author's Note at the end.

3. The Mercies, by Kiran Millwood Hargrave. How's your Norwegian 17th century history knowledge? Not so good? Mine wasn't either, but now it's a lot better because this novel based on a true story SUCKED ME IN and took me on some deep Wikipedia research so now I basically AM an expert on 17th century Nordic witch hunts. Speaking of things I didn't see coming for 2020. 

4. The Cruel Prince (series), by Holly Black. Told you I was a faery person now. I can't help it. I adored this trilogy. Honestly the first one wasn't great until maybe the last 25%, but the second and third books were fantastic, so it's still worth the read. These are more normal-length books (compared to ACOTAR) and appropriate for traditional YA audiences.

5. The Book of Strange New Things, by Michel Faber. There's no way to describe this book that doesn't sound insane. A compassionate, ex-addict British minister is recruited by a large, mysterious company to travel to their space base on another planet and serve as a missionary to the native population on that planet. The Bible he brings is their "book of strange new things," and this is a really lovely, slow story that is less action and drama and more interesting ponderings on the nature of faith and culture and relationships. It really sucked me in.

I'm a combo of chaotic neutral, neutral evil, and chaotic evil. SORRY.

Shows

I don't watch as much TV as many folks because I spend all my time reading. But I did manage to keep up with many of the most talked-about shows (because FOMO, and it's nice to have something lighthearted to discuss with folks!) and am thankful for the hours of distraction the following provided.

1. The Wilds (Amazon)- this was described to me as a combination of Lost and Mean Girls, and I'd say that is pretty accurate. Matt and I both enjoyed this one!

2. Bridgerton (Netflix)- If you haven't heard of/watched this by now, there's nothing I can say that's gonna change your mind. It's a delight, and also rated R, and I enjoyed every second of it. It's well-described as Downton Abbey meets Gossip Girl.

3. Naked & Afraid (reruns on Hulu or YouTubeTV)- I've already mentioned how much my whole family loves this one! Trust that everything 'naked' is blurred, so your eyeballs will not be offended, and most of the bad language is bleeped, except for every time someone says "Nature is a B****!!" (which is often, because it is) it is NOT, and so Millie regularly asks what that means. Sigh.

4. The Queen's Gambit (Netflix)- SO GOOD!! Almost good enough to make me want to learn to play chess, but nah. But seriously, this one is essential. Watch it.

5. Ginny & Georgia (Netflix)- This one took me by surprise! The description and branding had me expecting something Gilmore Girls-esque, but that is not what I found. I don't even know what genre I'd put G&G in; it covers a lot of ground and is somehow funny/amusing, deep, and thriller-y all at once. I really enjoyed it.

Movies

Well...I was going to think of some movies I liked this year, but then realized that I never watch movies. Who has 2 hours to commit to one thing, when you could be committing 12 hours to 12 episodes of some other thing?? Honestly now. Matt and I did set a goal a few months ago to work our way through the whole Marvel universe (chronologically) and so far we are averaging about one movie a month, for a grand total of 2 movies so far (and I don't remember the names of either. Why are the names of those movies so complicated?? Also I can't tell superheroes apart.) So I'll report back in *checks watch* 2849 years. At this point they create new content at a faster rate than we can consume it, so if my math checks out (and it always does), we will never finish.

Podcasts

Now podcasts I have time for! I took an unscheduled break from podcasts for the first 6-8 months of the pandemic because my normal 'podcast listening time' was during my commute, which disappeared along with my office. Eventually I started finding new podcast time, and now that I'm back to my usual commute, I'm firing on all cylinders with my old (and some new!) faves.

1. The Popcast. Shoutout to my faithful friends who didn't give up on me, even though they recommended The Popcast for years and I ignored them. Eventually I gave in, and I'm so glad I did. But the bonus that comes along with waiting a million years to start a pod is that now I have 8 years of back episodes to listen to, so I'm constantly laughing. Matt also enjoys listening to this one, so it's perfect for putting on in the car (if Millie isn't there, or is on her iPad. There's nothing objectionable on this one, but she doesn't *get it* and bothers me asking for explanations of every other sentence, so that's a waste of podcast time if you ask me.). I like how this one is totally standalone episodes, so you can just browse the titles and descriptions and find something that sounds fun, and you're good to go for an hour!

2. Pantsuit Politics. Man, Beth and Sarah, the hosts of PP, have been some of my best friends the past few years. I am so thankful for their calm, educated, measured perspective on the news, and I always look forward to new episodes. 

3. Dolly Parton's America. It's been awhile since I listened to this one, but I really enjoyed it. Obviously Dolly is our queen, but it was so interesting to understand more about her life, career, and historical and current cultural impact. This is one that needs to be listened to in order!

4. The Lazy Genius. This is one I run to when I want practical tips on how to make one particular thing in my life better in about 20 minutes. Seriously, it's kind of the format. Laundry. Meal planning. Buying gifts. Finding your holiday decorating personality. Each episode (just browse the ep titles) targets a very specific 'thing' with the goal of "being genius about things that matter, and lazy about things that don't." I find this pod to be encouraging and usually super helpful!

5. Planet Money. This is another go-to for one-off, fascinating topics. I'm pretty sure Matt listens to every single episode, and this is one of our favorites for road trips. Planet Money is equal parts entertaining and educational, so you can't beat that!

Stuff

And here's where I'll throw in the miscellaneous things that have made life fun over the last year!

One of our many, many family "scoot-scoots" this year. That's little sis on Matt's back. ;)

1. Scooters. Guys, they're not just for kids anymore. I know I mentioned this the other day, but getting scooters for me and Matt was one of the most fun things about this year! I have this one and I honestly adore it! The handlebars come up high enough that it's a very comfortable ride. (Matt got a different one, and I'm not exactly sure which one, to link, but I don't like it as much. The handlebars don't go as high.) What's really fun is that our cul-de-sac neighbors also have their own adult scooters, and so all 4 adults plus our 2 first graders are often found having a scooter party in the cul-de-sac, and if that's not cool, I don't know what is.

2. Olive & June nail polish. I was swayed by my Instagram ads (they're just so good) and I'm not mad about it. Since I haven't been going to salons for the last year, I decided to redirect that money towards O&J polishes and I am SO happy about it! The top coat is the key, though. The colors are fantastic, but that top coat is clutch and means I don't have a chip for like...an entire week. Unheard of. You can get O&J at Target now, but the display at my local Targets are always somewhere between super picked over and completely empty, so ordering direct is the only way to ensure you have a comprehensive selection. 

(Not O&J polish, but the closest thing I had to a professional mani for about a year)

3. Skrewball peanut butter whiskey. I mean, you didn't think we were gonna survive a pandemic acting like teetotalers, did ya?? Ha. Our neighbors introduced us to this delightful beverage and man, is it a treat. You can get it at probably any liquor store near you, and I highly recommend that you do. The sooner the better. We usually drink it straight up, but it's also fantastic mixed into a milkshake or your hot chocolate!

4. Sleeping Queens card game. This is a super fun little game that friends recommended early in the pandemic, and I'm so glad they did! It's simple enough for kids (Millie was 5 when we got it and she could play independently after maybe two or three times of being on a parent's 'team') and not boring or annoying for adults. You know it's not easy to find games in that sweet spot! Plus it's cheap (less than $10) and takes up no space. Grab a spare deck in case you need an emergency birthday present sometime. 

5. Educational Instagrammers. Who knew- social media can be for more than just cute pictures of babies and puppies and food! I am thankful for finding some experts in their fields who are both entertaining and very educational, and since most of my friends follow them too, it's been so wonderful being able to have educated, fact-based conversations about things we otherwise might not know much about! Here are two of my faves, both on Instagram:

-@kinggutterbaby- Laurel is an infectious disease specialist at Emory who primarily studied global health and tuberculosis before focusing on Covid this past year. She is hilarious, brilliant, and colorful (in personality and language, haha). She has a million highlight stories that cover basically everything related to Covid, so if you're interested in data-driven information, explained by a scientist who also speaks plain English, I highly recommend her!

-@sharonsaysso- Sharon is "America's Government Teacher" and all-around incredible human. She not only answers questions (only with facts!), she teaches us all how to FIND facts on our own, explains where the facts came from, and what they mean for us now. She is funny, calm, non-partisan, generous, and intersperses her government talk with a lot of whale pictures and facts (besides government, whales are her other passion). I learn something new every day from Sharon, and her language and content is completely appropriate for anyone from your kindergartener to your great-grandma. 

think of me, think of me fondly

Unless you spent yesterday enjoying the quiet peace of some remote monastery tucked away in the Alps, far from the reaches of internet of any sort...you probably saw this:

Weird Al (um yeah, totally didn't realize he was still around...) released a new song parody. To the tune of Blurred Lines, arguably one of the catchiest and most offensive songs of this decade, Weird Al gives us Word Crimes, a diatribe against the most offensive and pervasive grammar mistakes of our generation.

It. Is. Hilarious.

What makes it even better is how I 'discovered' it. Here I am, minding my own business, going about my work day...and suddenly I had notifications popping up EVERYWHERE. My phone was dinging with texts, my Facebook and Twitter apps had red flag notifications...I thought surely some sort of life-changing event was happening. Like you know how when there's something terrible that happens in some random city, say...wildfires or something. You see it on the news and you suddenly think of that girl you knew in high school that you're pretty sure lives in that city (or maybe it's just the state...or region...?? it's not like you've talked to her in 10 years anyway, you just remember seeing something on Facebook once...) and you're compelled to look her up and make sure she's okay?? I thought something like that might have happened in Athens, causing people to suddenly need to contact me via all methods of social media to make sure I was okay.

Turns out that wasn't it. It was that a snarky grammar video went viral and apparently people who know me well know that if there's anything I like, it's someone telling the truth about grammar (especially if it's funny). Just like the Grinch, I felt my small heart grow three sizes as people thought of me and shared the joy of the video with me. 

As awesome as the video is, I still fear that the people that need to be watching it (and taking copious notes) probably aren't. This is probably the kind of thing that only appeals to people who already love grammar and know how to properly use it's and literally. But that's okay. It's nice to have something new to rally around. It's also nice to have a much-less-offensive version of Blurred Lines to add to my workout playlist. The 'real' song is so perfect for running...and yet so wrong. So this new version perfectly mimics the beat and feel of the original, while changing out all of the offensiveness for humor...nicely done, Weird Al. High five.

PS. Bonus points if you catch the reference in the title. Just doing my part to keep the dementia at bay!

hashtags, dog fur, and grammar

Betcha forgot all about my ancient Q&A post and how I'm not even close to having answered all the questions yet, didn'tcha? Well, no worries. I didn't forget. It's been weighing heavily on my heart...the probing questions gone unanswered?!? How will everyone sleep at night?!?! Okay, not really. But it is nice to know that the spreadsheet o' questions is just sitting right there, waiting to help me out on a day of writer's block!

There probably won't be any particular theme to today's questions...we'll just see which way the wind blows.

Megan asked:

How do you feel about the use of hashtags? I started using them ironically as a way to embarrass my stepson / make fun of my students, but now they're kind of thing for me.

Well, Megan...to be honest, I kinda hate the ironic use of hashtags. I think they had their moment, but it's in the past now. I don't mine the appropriate use of hashtags, though. When they serve the purpose that they were originally designed for-- they're perfectly fine. But only in moderation. For instance, I follow a number of beauty and makeup bloggers on Instagram (and they all have about a billion followers, so I seriously doubt they'll mind me calling them out here. Clearly they're doing just fine despite me rolling my eyes at them.). I don't know what it is, but beauty bloggers just looooooooove to use a freaking abundance of hashtags on every single picture. Some of them are what I would deem functional hashtags: the brand names of the makeup they're wearing (#urbandecay or #loracpropalette) or things like #eyeshadowtutorial (if they included a description/tutorial in their photo comment)...those are things that interested parties (like me!) will actually click on to see OTHER pictures that are in those categories. Very useful. But then the other 52 hashtags that are like #fridayfunday #pretty #eyes #beauty and so on and so forth? No. Just stop. No one's clicking on those to see what a billion other random people are saying about #eyes. Or at least I'm not. So therefore they shouldn't do it, because my opinion is the most important.

In summary:

Useful Hashtags that I Don't Roll My Eyes At: television show names, wedding (or other) events (SUPER helpful so that you can see lots of pictures from people that aren't necessarily your personal friends!), brand names, specific things that people care about and may legitimately want to search

Hashtags I Roll My Eyes At: pretty much any generic adjective (#lovely, #happy, #yummy), stupid things like #followme and #instawow, and the ubiquitous and waaaaaaaaay overused #soblessed. Please. No.

PS. If you happen to use the hashtags that I have deemed eye-roll-worthy and you like them, I encourage you to keep doing it without an ounce of guilt or worry. This is just my opinion, not the Word of God and Law of the Land...take it for what it's worth-- probably not much.

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Tamara asked:

My question is do you have a hard time keeping a clean house with Lola? As an owner of two big black fur babies, I feel like it’s impossible to keep my house clean.

Well Tamara, the truth is, our live-in housekeeper is so efficient vacuuming up the fur, I hardly even notice it!! Oh wait. Sorry. That's in my fantasy world. In REAL LIFE...holy cow. My faux-wood floors are perpetually buried under a small mountain of black fur. Especially in the summer...like...now. UGH. I wish I had great tips, but basically we just resign ourselves to vacuuming up the tumbleweeds of dog fur a couple times a week and tell ourselves that she's worth it. When it comes down to it, the benefits of having the Lola outweigh the benefits of having a perfectly clean house, so I try to remember that and just roll my eyes at the dog fur. And vacuum it up again. And again.

(There's a lot of eye rolling going on today, eh?)

PS. In the interest of uniting questions 1 and 2, I must add that Tamara introduced me to one of my FAVORITE instagram hashtags: #labsofinstagram. I will click that EVERY time because hello-- a constantly-updated string of adorable lab pictures? COME TO MAMA.

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Amanda J. asked:

Dear Erika,

How do I correct the grammar of my loved ones without sounding like a huge jerk?

Sincerely,
Judgmental Grammar Nazi

Alright. This is clearly something I deal with myself, so you came to the right place, Amanda. We're going to have to break this down into two Correcting Categories, though: Out Loud/Speaking Grammar and Written Grammar.

If you're chatting in person with someone and they display some heinous grammar (which honestly, happens much less frequently than in writing...most adult native American-English speakers do just fine speaking)...I would pretty much never correct it. I can't think of any way that it would NOT come off as incredibly obnoxious. I mean, unless they're asking hey, is it _____ or should I say _____?...in which case, of course, weigh in. But to just jump in with a tip about subject-verb agreement? Don't. I could think of exceptions, of course: if the person is a child (that you know well), a gentle re-stating of a sentence is probably fine. If the person is an English language learner that has previously asked or mentioned that they're wanting help with their spoken English, it could be appropriate. But basically...I never correct people's spoken grammar.

Obviously, intervention-requiring written grammar is much more common. But you're just as likely to look like a jerk if you don't tread lightly. I would pretty much never recommend directly calling out someone's error (the exception being if they are someone you know extremely well who you know would WANT to know about an error. People call out my mistakes and/or typos all the time and I 100% appreciate it. I want to know better and do better, so I never mind someone pointing out something erroneous). I feel a passive-aggressive approach can be quite effective when dealing with grammar mistakes. For instance, you can write a blog post on a very specific error, providing lots of right and wrong examples, and share it all over social media in hopes that the offending party(ies) will see it and read it. Now, what's probably more likely is that the only people who will think "oooh! A grammar blog post!! Let me click over here and read!!" are other grammar aficionados, so you're kinda just going to be preaching to the choir, but...still. It's worth a try. You could also do a similar (but shorter) tutorial right there in your Facebook status or whatever. If you are good friends with the offender AND they have a good sense of humor, you could try gently drawing attention to their mistake- I've seen (but not personally done) this before and it seemed to be effective and not too offensive:

(pretend this is a FB status): The Smith's are moving to California!!
Grammar Nazi comments: Who is the Smith? I am really going to miss him!! ;)
Original poster: Haha what? I never know what to do with apostrophes!! 
GN: I know, they're stupid. You can just say 'the Smiths.' You're not possessing anything in this sentence, so you don't need any apostrophes. We're really going to miss you guys though!!

That's probably a best case scenario. If I were someone just reading through that exchange, I probably wouldn't think the GN was being a jerk, especially if I knew that he and the original poster were good friends. In a perfect world, ol' Smith would then go and edit his status so as not to offend future readers.

At the end of the day, though, you just have to accept that there are two kinds of people in the world: People Who Care About Grammar and People Who Don't. The PWD aren't bad people. They're not trying to hurt and offend the PWCAG. And so if they manage to make it to the ripe old age of 70 and still don't know how to use apostrophes and commas but they do have a number of other redeeming qualities...just let it go. You can't save them all. But if they also incorrectly use hashtags, then you're really going to have to make a judgment call and intervene about ONE of those issues. I really can't let my eyes be accosted by bad grammar and unnecessary hashtags at the same time. It's too much. 

another favorite thing

It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of Trader Joe's. And I feel super sorry for any of you unfortunate enough to not live within road tripping distance of one. But not sorry enough to stop gushing about my favorite stuff I buy there. I've preached extensively about some of my favorite TJ's beauty steals before, but during my trip there yesterday afternoon, I realized that I've never shared about one of my other MOST FAVORITE THINGS EVER that they sell.

But first, some back story.

Greeting cards stress me out. They just do. I feel like I have an unusually long list of Things That Shouldn't Be Stressful But Are, and this is yet another item on the list. Having to find a card to accompany a birthday present or shower gift or whatever...it reaaaaalllllyyyyy troubles me. First of all, they're too expensive. IT'S A PIECE OF PAPER. Second of all, they're mostly WAY too cheesy, fake, or dumb. Occasionally I'll find a great funny one, but then it's $5 and I want to cry. I have never, ever liked a card as much as I like a latte, and so spending $5 on a card is out of the question. And I feel like most card recipients would agree. If I'm going to spend $5 more on your gift, wouldn't you rather it be in the form of the actual GIFT and not the piece of paper you're going to throw away in ten minutes? And that's the last thing that stresses me out. Knowing that no matter how pretty/inspirational/cute the card is, it's just going to get tossed in the trash. This makes me want to just write "Happy birthday, I love you!!!" on the back side of a post-it note I've already used or something...at least I don't have to feel guilty when it lands in the landfill. Oh, and the $1 cards that they usually have at Target or the grocery store or whatever? Vomit. Just because I'm frugal doesn't mean I automatically love obnoxiously bright colors on glossy cardstock with even worse words/phrases/poetry. Ick.

So anyway. As you can guess, I avoid buying cards at all costs. 

Except at Trader Joe's.

In keeping with their general commitment to excellence, Trader Joe's does their cards extremely well. So well that sometimes I actually just browse the cards for fun. In direct contrast to the card aisle at Target, the (very small) card selection at TJ's makes me smile and feel happy. AND THEY ARE ALL ONLY A DOLLAR. That's right. The cards are lovely, not cheesy, appropriate, AND CHEAP. I swear, if the typical TJ's card was at Target, it'd be $5. The paper is thick and lovely. Depending on the design on the front, often there is texture to it...like, you can feel ridges and outlines, highs and lows. I mean, they're nice. And surprisingly generic. Many of them have a quote or something on the front, but they're real quotes (spoken by people you've heard of...not random card designers in the Hallmark laboratories) that don't make you squirm with discomfort. And if there's something on the inside, it's also generic-ish enough that you could use the card for a variety of occasions. Like this (which is currently serving as inspirational office decor, hence the lovely tape on the top):

Please excuse my horrid iPhone photography and how it makes this card look like a piece of crap. In real life, it's pretty.

Pretty, right? The inside simply says "Thank you." Which means that I've given this card for birthdays, Mother's Days, and just because. 

Here's another one currently sprucing up my office:

I should really consider taking better pictures. But you get the idea. This one is a really nice paper and the lettering and designs are all textured and raised...and just lovely. This one is blank on the inside. IT WAS A DOLLAR. I really can't stress that point enough. Only a dollar, AND pretty enough to not be immediately thrown in the trash-- when Matt gave me these cards, I didn't have to awkwardly wonder if it was okay to trash them or debate whether saving them made me a hoarder...I stuck them up on the wall of my office and called it decor!

I bought this one yesterday. I don't even need a card, nor do I plan to give it away. It just looked pretty and I thought I'd like to frame it or hang it up somewhere. Because for a buck, I can do that.

This one says "Here's to new beginnings" on the inside.

So there you have it. Next time you're card shopping (or just grocery shopping), make a stop by Trader Joe's. It's a slam dunk every time. Oh, but be warned: like most of the best things at TJ's, the card selection changes frequently. If you see a card you love, don't assume it'll be there next week. Go ahead and buy it while you can-- there'll still be great cards next week, but they may be completely different. Learn from my tragic experiences!!

you ask, I answer.

I almost thought that I wasn't going to blog today (again?! What is happening to me?!)...but then I remembered the slowly-shrinking Q&A list! Unfortunately, most of the questions that are left are there because a) they require digging up lots of pictures at home, which I never seem to get around to, or b) I don't know the answers yet (take a wild guess which ones that applies to!), or...I don't know. I just don't feel like answering them. Ha. But! I have an hour to kill, so let's see what I can accomplish.

The Travelling Trio asked:

If I were to visit where you live, what is the one thing I must see? Sometimes I don't think we play tourists in our own town often enough.

Well, it might be cliche, but if you were to come to Athens and you did not go spend some time exploring the University of Georgia campus (on foot)...you wasted your trip. I could make a few exceptions: like, if you attended another large, ancient Southern university (Auburn, Alabama, etc.), then maybe you could skip out because there are probably a lot of similarities between our campuses. But even then-- really, you should at least drive by. I spent four years as a student on campus and have lived in (or near) Athens ever since (almost 10 years!) and I still love love love walking around campus. Matt and I walk around North Campus several times a week during our lunch break. It's just gorgeous. The architecture, the landscaping, the quintessential collegeyness (surely that's a word...)...it is perfection. So if you ever make it to Athens...a foot tour of UGA most definitely needs to be on your to-do list.

********

Nikki asked:

What ONE grammatical error offends you the most (you must pick ONE)?

Obviously it's really hard to narrow it down, but when FORCED like this, I think I'll have to go with the disgusting attempt to use apostrophes to do something that THEY NEVER DO: make things plural. This is a tiny sub-issue of the much larger Apostrophe Misuse Epidemic that I'm slowly raising up an army to fight...but I think this one irks me the most because of its blatant ALWAYS WRONGNESS. Remember in November how I even made a graphic to help spread the message? Some people still haven't gotten it. Ugh.

My November rant mostly focused on misusing the apostrophe to try and pluralize last names (for Christmas cards). Obviously that is a huge pet peeve of mine. But it's merely a symptom of a worse problem: WHY ARE YOU EVER EVER EVER USING AN APOSTROPHE TO MAKE SOMETHING PLURAL?!?!?! Why are you inviting your friend's over for lunch? Why are you planting seed's this weekend? Why would you get a new bookshelf for your book's?!?!! YOU ARE BURNING MY RETINAS AND I NEED YOU TO STOP. 

It's still terrible to see apostrophes abused in other ways, but most of the 'other' ways they get misused are in good-faith attempts to show possession or contract words or something. So I can extend forgiveness because I can recognize that the person is TRYING to do the right thing...and just kind of failing. But that's much more forgivable than this. Because when you just toss an apostrophe into the middle of an innocent word thinking that it's gonna help it become plural...well, the only reason anyone would ever do that is to personally offend me. And it works. Every time.

Now I'm all worked up in a tizzy again. I need to go run laps or something, excuse me.

********

  
Liz K. asked:

How is the "best" way to break the news you are expecting to someone struggling with infertility (for going on 3 years)? A good friend of mine is having a really hard time, and I just want to be as sensitive as possible.

Good question! Luckily, I have over 5 years of experience with this very issue, so I feel like I am super qualified to answer...for myself. Ha. 

My immediate answer would be not in person. DEFINITELY NOT IN PERSON. Basically, you want to give your friend the freedom to receive the news and digest it and react however she needs to react BEFORE she responds to you. If you're standing right there, then her only option is to either a) look like a crying jealous freak in public, or b) perform an Academy Award-winning act of pretending that it doesn't bother her at all and she's nothing but brimming with enthusiasm and excitement for you.

The thing is, she probably will be happy for you. It's just buried under a couple (dozen, maybe, depending on how long she's been waiting) layers of hurt and jealousy. Give her a chance to work through the yucky stuff before she has to respond. So. NOT IN PERSON. (Plus, you probably don't even want to tell her in person, so this works out better for everyone.)

I should probably put in a few caveats before I continue.

I'm assuming here that you are GOOD friends, the type that would be expecting to know about major life events before the rest of the general population. I mean, if she's just a 'fringe' friend/coworker/church member, don't feel like you need to give her a special news delivery just because of her infertile status. That'd be awkward for you both. 

I'm also assuming that you are not ALSO an infertile. That would definitely change things. If you are ALSO experiencing long-term infertility and this has been something you've both bonded over for years and years, throw all this out the window. You might be one of the only people she could ever possibly be excited about getting a pregnancy announcement from, so do it however you want! We make bitterness exceptions for our comrades in the trenches. Also, there's a much higher likelihood that she's half-expecting the news already...like if you're doing IVF and she knows you're going for a beta that day...you're not really going to shock her if it ends up being good news. So share away!!

So, assuming 'in person' is now not even on the list of available options, here's the rest of your ways. I'll list them in backwards order, from worse options to best options.

-By phone (talking, not texting). This is better than in person, but not much.
-By private FB message. The only reason I list this separately from email is that FB will mark the message as 'read' (for the sender), which puts a little extra pressure on responding.
-By text. Texting also has the potential to mark as read, although that's more a personal setting preference...but is still a risk. Also, a text with the news will just BAM, APPEAR to your friend, and it may not be a good time/place for her to receive the news. So take that into account. Is it 9 a.m. on Tuesday? Don't ruin her whole work day. Is it Friday night at 6 and you know she's on a date with her husband? Have a heart. Don't send it just then.
-By email. At 9 p.m. on a weeknight when her favorite show comes on (so that if she reads it, at least she can pretend she didn't (because of the show!) and/or she can immediately distract herself with said show. And because I'm so nice, I'll even give you a little script that you should 100% be sure to include.

I know that this is not easy news to hear, so PLEASE don't feel like you have to respond. You absolutely don't need to reply and tell me congratulations. 

That sentence is key. And mean it, while you're at it. Don't get offended if she takes you up on it. And then if you REALLY want to be awesome...the next time you see her in person, don't act weird. AND don't act like **OMGBABYBABY!!!** either. I mean, chances are you're only a few weeks along. Surely you can think about SOMETHING else besides nurseries and strollers and morning sickness. Don't wait for your friend to have to awkwardly either broach the topic or try to avoid it-- throw her a bone and talk about SOMETHING normal/non-baby. What you heard on NPR that morning. The weather. Whatever show you both like. Make it normal, which will pave the way for much smoother conversations (that will inevitably include your pregnancy) later. 

(PS. If this all seems like too much, the obvious solution would be to not get pregnant. Then you never have to have this conversation! Everybody wins!)

In conclusion, tell her via email. :) Sorry, I write too much...

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That's all I have time for for now!! Now...go forth and send grammatically correct and emotionally sensitive emails.

public encounters, treating myself, and misspelling my name

I feel like I should tell you that it isn't a lovely spring day today. I don't want to put forth the perception that Georgia is some kind of weather utopia, and lately it kind of has been, so...just so you know. It's 30something right now and it'll probably only get into the low 50s today. Womp womp.

I have a slightly better attitude than normal about the (hopefully brief) returning cold weather. I'm trying to look at it as an opportunity to get one last wear out of my favorite cold weather clothing/shoes/accessories. Today's outfit has been one of my favorites this winter, which is why you've probably already seen it twelve times. Let's make it thirteen.

I will miss you this summer, not-remotely-breathable polyester triangle shirt and comfier-than-I-ever-expected Toms wedges!

Also, I'm having a good hair day today. Please take note.

Despite not blogging yesterday, I really don't have anything to talk about today. My life hasn't been super exciting this week. I did make a triumphant (haha) return to Zumba yesterday. I've missed it the last few weeks. And afterwards my friend Tiffany dragged introduced me to the sauna. We sat in a tiny, log-cabin-like wooden room and sweated to death as we chatted. It was basically like summer camp in Georgia. Only there were no mosquitoes, so...win?

 I think we should tackle some of the more serious and important Q&As today. PS- I am eternally grateful for all of these questions. When I run out and have to start thinking of my own blog topics again, it's going to be a sad day for us all.

Anonymous wants to know:

Have you ever been recognized in public from your blog which resulted in an awkward encounter?

Um, yes. More than once.

(I thought about not elaborating, but that would just be wrong.)

Several times I've received emails saying "hi, I know you don't know me, but I read your blog and I just saw you at Target/the mall/wherever! I thought it would be weird to say hey, but...hey!" or something along those lines. 

Sometimes I get 'seen' and the person won't tell me, but they'll tell someone they know that knows me that tells me...like this:

I seriously laughed about this one for about a week.

But sometimes people do get bold enough to just come up and introduce themselves. Most recently (and Laura commented about this on the original post underneath this question!) it was at the gym. Obviously I'm not above the occasional gym selfie, but I swear that I do not normally POSE for pictures at the gym. However, I had been going on and on about the gym stretching machines at work and was hugely failing at describing them adequately. "Take a picture of it," a coworker suggested. So that's what I was doing that day-- fake-using the stretching machine while Matt took a picture. It was for educational purposes!! I never blogged or IGd those pictures!! But wouldn't you know, a stranger (to me!) saw someone doing a photo shoot in the gym and then realized that she 'knew' me from my blog. Ha!! So we chatted for a few minutes and I felt like the lamest person on earth because she busted me POSING ON A GYM MACHINE. So...that's how awesome I really am in real life, in case you were wondering.

Other public encounters have been much less embarrassing, but I think Matt gets weirded out every time.

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Diana asks:

Do you get annoyed when people write letters to "Erica"?

To be honest, it really doesn't bother me much anymore. Sometimes I go through phases, but as of now, it's pretty low on the list of things that annoy me. I know my name isn't spelled the most common way. Now, if this is coming from someone who's known me a long time, it's a little more hurtful...but if you're a relatively new acquaintance, I won't hold it against you. I will say that a couple of years ago my FATHER...like, the guy who had probably a 50% say in naming me and choosing the spelling of my name...went through a phase where he spelled it that way in text messages. This infuriated me on many levels. For one, why does he even need to say my name in a text? I presume that if you're TEXTING me, you know who the memo is going to and who's reading it? I don't really think using my name is necessary at all...but ESPECIALLY the misspelled version of my name?!?!? I let him feel the fullness of my wrath.

As it turns out, my dad basically doesn't write any of his own texts. He uses the voice-to-text (like Siri, only whatever it is on an Android) thing. And so the phone robots were actually misspelling my name, and he didn't feel that it was important enough to go back and fix it.

Now he understands that it is.

But as for the rest of humanity, you get a pass. When I was in high school and college and did a lot of babysitting, people misspelled my name on checks so often that I even developed a signature with the 'c' version of my name. I'm adaptable like that.

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Casey asked a question that required days of thought:

I am planning on taking a "treat yo'self day" (ala Parks and Rec) now that my mom's estate is closed. What would you do on a treat yo self day?

Casey, I can't commend your decision to treat yo'self enough. I think that was one of the most inspirational episodes of Parks & Rec ever; I'm glad it changed your life, too. My first rule for my day is that someone else needs to fund it. Otherwise it won't be nearly as much fun to blow a lot of money. SO. Assuming someone else (rich, of course) is footing the bills, here are some things I'd definitely include:

-Amazing food. In restaurants, of course. Cooking at home is not a treat. 

-A two-hour massage. I've never had more than one hour, so I'm guessing this would be the greatest thing ever.

-A helicopter to take me to Atlanta malls. I hate sitting in traffic and wasting time; this would solve both of those problems. 

-A few hours of shopping (and buying!) at all the good stores we don't have in Athens, like Sephora and Nordstrom. And also mall pretzels.

-A mani-pedi after I'm tired of shopping.

-A play at the Fox...since it's my day, I'm picking Wicked. I haven't seen it and I'd like to. So it'll need to be touring then, thanks! After the play, I would like the opportunity to go put on any costumes I want (which will magically fit) and reenact my favorite songs and scenes with the other actors and orchestra.

-After the play, I'd like to go somewhere and have creme brulee for dessert. And some kind of amazing coffee drink.

-Then the helicopter can take me back home. While I was out, a team of maids would have cleaned my entire house from top to bottom. Oh, and professionals would have come and replaced all the flooring in the house, too. And they would be gone already and everything would be back in its place. And someone would have given Lola a bath and trimmed her toenails.

BEST DAY EVER. Maybe I should start a GoFundMe or something to make it happen?? Anyone want to sponsor my helicopter ride? Or one dog toenail clipping? Hahahaha.

weekend non-events & gardening advice

As it turns out, my jaunt in the land of the living didn't last for long. Actually it was for about 6 hours. By early Friday afternoon, Matt started coming down with some awful Man Sickness that had me rushing him to the doctor and then home. By 5pm we were completely in the trenches with whatever awful flu/virus/thing he picked up. So instead of enjoying the weather and my own renewed health, I spent the weekend playing nursemaid to Mattie on his semi-death bed. I witnessed enough vomiting to last me the rest of my lifetime. I took his temperature so much that our thermometer inexplicably CHANGED ITSELF TO CELSIUS at some point. Rebellion? I dunno. But that turned my hourly temperature checks into a much bigger hassle because I had to go online and convert the temperature every single time. OBNOXIOUS. I have no idea what happened, but I can only assume it was God telling us that we should be somewhere where they use Celsius. Since that's pretty much the whole rest of the world, I'm choosing a beach in Mexico. Hola mojitos y el sol...

Luckily I had 2819 episodes of Pretty Little Liars to keep me company while I passed the minutes between temperature-taking and vomit-clean-up. It was quite fortuitous that I picked a show last week with so many seasons and episodes available! Who knew I'd end up with so much solo TV watching time on my hands this week? In my fervor to truck through all the episodes, though, I feel like I've lost touch with what's going on in the ACTUAL world. Like in the middle of the night Saturday night I looked at Twitter and discovered that like...an airplane full of people straight up disappeared?? Can I be honest for a second here? For about four seconds after hearing about this disappearing jet story (the time it took me to click on the link from Twitter and find the actual article), I was like SUPER EXCITED because I was like oh my gosh, LOST is coming true!!!! Like this was some big win for humanity or something??....and then I came to my senses and stopped being a huge jerk. Oh yeah. This is a tragedy, not a win for the nerds. That was my first clue that I needed to stop watching so much TV. (And I'm seriously not trying to make light of the tragedy. Please don't misunderstand me!)

Yesterday afternoon I was able to spend a few hours outside while Matt napped. Unlike last Sunday, this week was all about outdoor productivity.

I enjoyed soaking in the sun while digging in the dirt, prepping some of the raised beds for planting in a few weeks. I pulled lots of weeds, whispered gentle encouragement to the strawberries that are spreading like crazy and starting to flower, told the winter kale it can keep on growing straight through the summer, and fertilized the soil. And thought about what I'll plant where. I just love spring planting!!! I have a few bulbs that are poking through, but not many of my perennials or trees are doing anything yet. The apricot tree sprung a few flowers, though-- they look so cheery against everything else that still looks dead!

And while we're at it (getting excited about about gardening, that is)...may as well answer a few garden-related advice questions!

Jaclyn asked:

How do you best keep the weeds out of your garden and grass? I hate weeds.

Ummm...if you had ever actually visited my yard, you would not be asking me this question. But I'll let you know what I do anyway, so that you'll know what doesn't work!

On the garden front, I have a little better success, so we'll start there. For one, all of my fruit and veggies grow in raised beds. Raised beds are WAAAAAY easier to maintain and keep weed-free than beds on the ground, in my experience. Whenever we establish a new raised bed, we start by digging up all of the grass and topsoil (a phrase I use loosely, since actually everything in Georgia below the grass-level is all just the same hard red clay). I try digging up (and getting rid of) at least the top 3-4 inches of the ground. That's where all the existing grass and weeds' root systems are. The more you get rid of now, the less that will grow up through your bed later. After digging up everything that's visibly green, we till the ground. Our tiller maybe gets us 6" down. After that, we build out the frame of the bed-- I usually like my raised beds to be at least 8" high...a foot is even better. Just depends on what lumber we get. Then you fill in the bed with bags and bags and bags of good soil. Sometimes we put down a weed barrier before we fill in the soil (like damp newspaper or weed barrier fabric)...sometimes we don't. In general, we just don't have a lot of issues with weeds coming up through all of that soil-- I think they bury the little microscopic weed babies so well that they can't get any sunlight and they shrivel up and die. Those that do still come up through I weed by hand.

My in-the-ground flower beds I treat similarly, only you don't get the benefit of 8 inches of weed-free soil to smother the weeds. So WAY more weeds come through. I generally just weed by hand in all of my beds. I don't use any chemicals on my garden weeds, as they'd kill the good plants right along with the bad. Being super proactive about weeding by hand is all I know to do. Using a lot of mulch will also help by blocking the sunlight from baby weeds. 

Weeds in my grass? Well, here's what hasn't worked for us: every single product at Lowe's, prayer, positive thinking, ignoring it, and trying to teach the cat to eat weeds. What does work is digging up weeds by hand. But when you have an acre of grass and a rapidly-aging back...basically you just learn to embrace a weedy lawn and keep it mowed frequently. And you dream of the day you have enough disposable income to pay a lawn company to come treat the grass for you.

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Amanda S. wants to know:

What is going in your garden this year?

Yaaaaay!! One of my favorite things to think about!! I've been gardening at this house for enough years now that I have a pretty good idea about what things are successful and what aren't, what's worth the trouble and what isn't, and what gives me the most bang for my buck (and time). Every year I like to do like 80% things that I KNOW will be successful and then play around with a few new things.

The guaranteed winners that'll be making a comeback: LOTS of tomatoes (both grape and Big Boy), bell peppers (red, yellow, orange, green), basil, parsley, rosemary, strawberries (those are perennial and are looking great so far!), blueberries (perennial...bushes are starting to get buds!), blackberries (wild, can't take credit for them). We have kale in right now that grew all winter...I have no idea if it'll keep going through summer or not. We also have asparagus that made it all winter but appeared to have succumbed to the last big snow/freeze. It was risky putting them in...they take 2-3 years to produce anyway, and I was gambling on having relatively mild winters each year in order to keep them alive. Looks like I lost that bet, but they could surprise me. Too early to say right now.

I'm contemplating doing okra again. I had some moderate success with it two years ago, and I know what changes I need to make to have a better yield this time around. Ditto to cantaloupe. 

Things I will not grow because they will only break my heart: squash (tragic stories here and here), zucchini, and cucumbers. 

Obviously I've only talked about the edible things in my garden. The flowers situation is too much to even get into.

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Amy asked:

I'm starting a vegetable garden this year, what are your tips for a beginning gardener?

Excellent!! My first tip is to lower your expectations a little. :) You are probably still going to have to go to a grocery store this year. Also, some of your stuff will die no matter what you do. Sing Circle of Life as you cry over your deceased, gone-before-their-time squash. Prepare yourself for a little heartbreak to come with all the jubilant successes. I promise, this helps.

NEXT: Prepare your beds! Obviously, I recommend raised beds. 

The next thing is super important: you need to find out what plant hardiness zone you live in before you start thinking about what you want to grow. This is SUPER IMPORTANT. Plants require very particular climates in order to thrive properly. I don't care how enthusiastic you are about avocados...if you live in Iowa, it ain't gonna happen. Don't try to make a garden plan based just on what you like to eat-- those things may be completely unrealistic for the climate you live in. Do a little research first and then pick things that are appropriate for your area. This will save you a world of sadness (and money) later. (Note: just because they sell something at the garden center doesn't mean it will grow in your area...) Also pay attention to how much water things require. Take into account how much rain you expect to get and how much you'll need to supplement with watering (or whether you get too much rain for something that requires a drier climate). And sun/shade!! Where are your beds going to be? Will they have full sun? Partial shade? Different plants need different things. Pick plants that will thrive in the sun environment you have.

After you have an idea of what kinds of things you might like to grow, try to find someone in your area that has some experience gardening. Find out what things they've had the most success with-- for instance, in my area, squash (and other vine veggies, like cukes and pumpkins) will grow GREAT!!!....but the vine boring grubs and squash bugs will completely murder them all. Hands down. No exceptions. Staying on top of the squash pests requires a crap-ton of vigilance and chemicals. Every single gardener in my region will report this to you. So if you're fine dumping Sevin Dust (or other pesticides) all over your veggies, you may indeed be successful. If you want a chemical-free garden, you better have a loooootttt of time and emotional energy on your hands to pluck those bad boys by hand. Or just plant something else. (For me personally, if I want squash coated in chemicals, I'll just buy it at the grocery store for $1 a pound all summer...save myself the trouble.) However, I have had very few problems at all growing tomatoes and peppers with no additional chemicals or stress. So if you were my newbie gardening neighbor, these are the kinds of things I'd love to tell you. Just looking at a generic squash growing guide may not tell you everything you'd really like to know about growing them in your particular neighborhood. 

Here is one of my favorite 'what will grow here?' cheat sheets: go to a local farmers' market. Pay attention to the vendors whose farms are ACTUALLY LOCAL. What do they sell that is super cheap and abundant? Those are the things that are easiest to grow. What do they sell that is like $9 a pound and there are only two tiny baskets of it when the market opens? That is something that is hard to grow in your area. Is it July and not a single vendor in the entire market has a fresh ear of corn to sell? Probably corn doesn't grow in July in your area. Is it April and every single booth has dirt cheap strawberries? You might wanna think about strawberries next spring. 

I could probably go on forever, but those are a few things you should probably think about before you actually start shopping and digging! Oh, but most of all, you should have fun and celebrate every single tiny victory. And talk to your plants. It's what my mother always taught me, and I'm pretty sure it works.

more answers and advice (Q&A part 2)

A chilly Tuesday morning seems like as good a time as any to chip away at some of your burning life questions, right? Thanks again for being abundantly inquisitive and ensuring that I'll never have to come up with original blog content for the rest of my life!!

Since last night was our second-to-last Bachelor Monday, I'm gonna try and answer all of your Bachelor-related questions before the season ends! (Did you watch Women Tell All? Did you want to marry Sharleen all night too, or was that just me?)

My Important Thoughts About The Bachelor

Kimberly asked:

Who do you think has the best chance of being the next Bachelorette? Is Andi right about Juan Pablo being self-centered?

I'd better be honest, first of all, and say that I've read the spoilers for this season. And whatever I can find about next season, too. So answering these questions is a little...weird...because now my personal opinion has been tainted by what Reality Steve says happens, ha. Not that he's always right, but...it looks like he probably is this time. So anyway...

If I got to pick, I'd want Sharleen as the next Bachelorette. Not that I think she'd do it. I just think it would be really interesting and very different from previous seasons to have such a 'cerebral' lead. They'd have to drum up some super intelligent and well-spoken men and I think it would take the whole show up a notch to watch people behave like actual adults (and not high schoolers crashing a frat party). Also, then I would get to see Sharleen all season. BUT...I'm like 90% sure that isn't going to happen, so I would also like to see Andi. She's smart, pretty, from Atlanta, and her favorite show is Scandal, so...that is why we should be BFFs. Oh wait, that wasn't the question? Sorry.

Yeah, I totally think JP is pretty self-centered. It bothered me all season that he never asked any REAL questions of the ladies...and any time they tried to take the conversation deeper, it seemed like he spaced out until he could get them re-focused on making out. I don't think he's some evil jerk, but I don't think Andi was lying, either.

Nikki asked:

Who do you want Juan Pablo to pick or are you just over the Bachelor drama?

Honestly, at this point I don't even care. I don't particularly love or hate either Clare or Nikki, and I don't necessarily think either of them is a particularly good match for JP. Whatever drama goes down next week, I'm guessing that by After the Final Rose, neither girl is going to be in a relationship with JP. I bet he gets back together with Cameeeeeela's mom.

Megan asked:

Do you hate Juan Pablo as the Bachelor as much as I do at this point? #stillwatchingthough

Kinda. I don't hate him, but I'm over him. And his besitos. And his eeess okay!!!

Questions About What I Drink

Natasha has a conundrum and a question:

Dear Erika --

I lost my morning cup of tea. I can taste its sweet, hot goodness on my tongue but alas, alack -- it is only a dream. I have retraced my steps of the morning and am seriously at a loss. Please help.

Signed,
Desperate For Warmth, Caffeine And Sugar


PS. What is the one thing you need to get you going in the morning? Obviously, for me it's a hit of caffeine, usually in hot tea form.

Dear Desperate,

Since it's been five days since you posted this question, I really hope you've located that cup of tea...otherwise it's probably growing moldy. I think that the fact that you're losing your cup of it speaks to the real issue at hand here: you're drinking tea to get you going. Obviously that's the wrong choice. Tea is for mid-afternoon or late night. Or for being sick. It can't fuel your body and brain for the day the way that coffee does. That's why I make good choices and drink coffee with a splash of almond milk every morning. I have never lost a cup of it, either. I recommend that you change your ways immediately. Good luck!

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Amanda S. questions:

What's your favorite non-wine go-to drink when you're out for a fancy evening with Matt or your friends? Coffee shops and chain restaurants are no problem for me, but I never know what to order off the top of my head when we go somewhere nice.

The problem with this question is that Amanda assumes I go out for 'fancy evenings' with Matt and/or my friends. Unfortunately, that pretty much isn't true. We are much lamer than that. We do go out to eat and out with friends, but it's never somewhere 'fancy.' So I don't really have a go-to 'fancy drink.' I almost never order wine in a restaurant or bar because the list of options is scary and overwhelming. I mostly just drink beer (I prefer stouts and ales) and Mexican-ish and/or fruity mixed drinks: mojitos, sangria, and the like. Sorry to be so boring in this department!!

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Nikki asks:

What is your typical Starbucks order (winter, summer)?

I go to Starbucks a LOT more than I go to bars, so this is a little easier!! Oftentimes I just get a boring cup of dark roast, but let's assume this is a trip where I'm wanting something a little more exciting. 98% of the time it's going to be a flavored latte of some sort. If it's the holidays, it'll definitely be one of the seasonal lattes (PSL, creme brulee, gingerbread, cinnamon dolce, whatever). If it's just a 'regular' time of year, probably vanilla or hazelnut. Always with nonfat milk (and at my favorite local non-Starbucks coffee shop, they have almond milk as an option, which is DEFINITELY my favorite!). During the summer I usually get the same things, just iced instead of hot. Or if they have a fun seasonal frapp, I'll go that way...if I feel like drinking 800 calories, that is. (Which I usually do.)

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Various and Sundry Things You Wanted to Know

Lauren has a victory and a question:

I had a question that I was going to post on FB page, but then realize I should post it here. I haven't been updating my blog for the past year - too busy kicking cancer's butt. I've decided to start again so I'd like to let my FB friends know about this one post. How do I link my post to my FB page?


Thanks!

First of all-- SUPER yay that you're beating cancer! That is awesome!! Now, for the question. I have to admit that when I post my blog link to Facebook, I do it super old school...I just copy/paste the address of the post into my 'update' box...wait a few minutes and it usually realizes it's a link and will pull up the little 'snippet' and picture...and then type whatever into the status update box (I erase the URL since it's long and ugly...it will still keep the little link and snippet). I know there are ways to automatically link your blog/FB so that anytime you post a blog it automatically feeds it to your FB, but I don't do that so I can't really offer any advice about that. I know that on my Bloglovin', there's a link thing that says something about "link your blog to your FB account!" but since I'm not really interested in doing that, I've never clicked it. Other people with thoughts on this: weigh in in the comments!!

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Amy wonders:

What does a typical weeknight evening look like for you and Matt?

Not very glamorous, I'm afraid. But here we go! We get out of work at 5. We head straight to the gym, change in the locker rooms, and work out from about 5:30-6:30. We do this every weeknight except Tuesdays (unless something comes up on another night, of course). Then we head home and cook, eat, and clean up dinner...usually wrapping that up around 8:00. After that we just bum around until bedtime...reading, watching TV, mindless internet surfing, whatever. We head to bed around 10:00. One notable exception to all this bumming around would be during the summer, when our flowers and gardens are in full swing and it stays light until late... then we normally spend about an hour outside watering, weeding, mowing, or doing other outside things on most nights after dinner.

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Brittnie asks:

If you could be on any reality show, which one would you choose, and why?

This is tough! There are so many good ones!! I think I'd probably pick Amazing Race. I don't even watch it anymore, but I think it would be really fun (and stressful) and give me amazing opportunities I'd never have otherwise. Plus the $1,000,000 prize is hard to beat in the reality TV world. 

I would also take my chance at Jeopardy and Wheel. I am basically amazing at both of those shows, but they may qualify more as 'game shows' and less as 'reality TV,' although the distinctions there are sometimes blurry.

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That's all I have time for today!! Have a happy day!