broken

How was my day?

Well, in lieu of showing you a picture of my own messy, makeup-streaked face, here are other girls that manage to look glamorous in the midst of their tears.


My afternoon has been more of the nasty, heaving, nearly-gag-inducing crying. The super un-glamorous kind. The kind where you never think you'll be able to stop crying. Ever. And you don't even really want to.

It's Friday the 13th, isn't it? I'm not really superstitious, but...wow, this day (afternoon, really) has really sucked.

They say that misery loves company, but mostly I just want to be alone. Looking at these pictures makes me feel like I need to keep things in perspective. I know that things could be worse. I know there are greater sorrows in this world. More injustices than I can imagine. People have experienced much greater losses than I have. People have battled infertility for much longer than I have.

But right now, my own pain is the most salient. And all I can do is cry.

Maybe hope will rise up again tomorrow. Maybe my optimistic self will take back the reigns of my emotions. Maybe I will have new faith, and maybe our doctors will have new ideas and new plans. Maybe I'll believe that God really is in control and that He has a plan and that it's gonna be good.

But not now. Right now, I'm just broken.