four years

 

Today we have been married for four years. In previous years (2008, 2009, and 2010) I wrote lengthy, detailed narratives and meditations on marriage and our wedding. In an effort to not repeat myself...well, I'll just try not to repeat myself. :)

This fourth year of marriage has been challenging. I'm not going to lie: infertility can be brutal on a marriage. Luckily, I wouldn't say it's been brutal on ours. I just said that I can easily see how it could be. While this fourth year hasn't brought us any success in our most salient goal (having a kid, duh)...I guess you could say that all this time in the trenches has accomplished some deeper stuff. There's something to be said about going through prolonged pain and less-than-ideal circumstances. It shows you what you're made of. It shows you what your partner is made of. It gives you (us) a feeling of us against the world. A sense that we're in this together, no matter what. And I guess that in some ways, it makes you recognize your strength as a couple. Hey. Anyone can breeze through the "better", "in health, and "richer" portions of life and pat themselves on the back for a marriage well done. But this? This stuff sucks. And if we can make it through this-- and we still actually LIKE each other?? We can do anything.

This past year, I've gotten to experience new depths of Matt's steadfastness. His commitment, his thoughtfulness, and his love for me are unwavering. I am a constant roller coaster of emotions, and he is able to rise up to meet whatever side of me is currently greeting him at the door. He loves me when I'm happy. He loves me when I'm curled up in a fetal position in the closet, bawling my eyes out. He drives me to town to look at paint samples for the nursery and crib bedding on the days I'm feeling hopeful. He sits with me and holds me in random stairwells and stifling hot cars when I'm too overwhelmed and sad to be around people at whatever event I'm currently at. He prays that God will bring us our baby. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes he prays for her by name... and if we ever decide on a boy name, he'll pray for him by name, too. 

Did you know that for four years, he has made and packed my lunch almost every single (work) day? And we're not talking about slapping some peanut butter on bread. He caters my meals to my every passing whim (which are many), because I frequently change my mind about food and what kind I would like to eat. He wakes up with me every single morning to make my coffee and my lunch, even though he could easily sleep another hour and a half before he needed to get up. This isn't something I have to beg or blackmail him to do. He does this because he loves me. It's just who he is.

Sometimes it's easy for me to believe that God loves me. I see the example my dad set for me, both in how he loved me and in how he loves my mom. And I see how Matt lays down his own life for me every day. And I think that if mere humans can love me this well...then how much more does our God love us?

I like this picture above. It reminds me of our marriage. We cling to one another. And we cling to our Maker. And it's really, really beautiful.

WBW: rehearsal edition

Why hello, Wednesday. You seem to come so quickly and frequently these days.

Guess what??!! It's June 29th. ANNIVERSARY EVE, you could say. Which means that four years ago today, it was my wedding rehearsal day!! I bet you can't guess what the theme of Way Back When-sday is going to be, can ya? A tricky one I am.

I don't remember being super nervous on my rehearsal day. The rehearsal was in the morning, maybe 11ish? Prior to the rehearsal, we had a little bridesmaids' brunch thing.

This is the only group shot I have, although there's an extra (non-bridesmaid, non-mom) person and one bridesmaid (Amy, where are you?) is missing. (L-R: Elizabeth, me, my mom, my sister's friend Katie (non-bridesmaid), my sister Sarah, Kristina, Catherine, Laura).

After brunch, we headed to the rehearsal. Because the venue where my wedding and rehearsal was held is booked up all weekend long, the rehearsal had to be in the morning (there would be a wedding there that evening). Weird, but whatever.

The rehearsal went well, as I recall. I'm sure it was efficient: I had a very efficient wedding planner/director and also it was pretty much my wedding which made me the boss and I like things to run smoothly and not waste time. Thus, I'm pretty sure we ran a tight ship. I hate wedding rehearsals that drag on forever because no one knows what's going on. Pet peeve.

After the rehearsal the boys and girls split up. The ladies headed to grab lunch en route to mani/pedis.

As I recall, my dad kept bugging me with "funny" phone calls telling me such and such had gone awry/wasn't gonna happen/lame crap like that. NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES, DAD. He eventually caught on. This should explain the non-wedding-like expression on my face.

After this we moved on to the nail salon. And then I don't remember what happened after that. There couldn't have been too much time in between nails and when we needed to get ready for the dinner, which was at 7 or something. What I do know is that during all that time when we were getting lunch/nails, my groom-to-be and his groomsman Tom (future brother-in-law...who knew?? At that time he was just Matt's good friend!) spent THEIR afternoon painting our future master bedroom. It was a project we'd started and ran out of time for, but Matt and Tom really wanted it to be finished so that when we came home from our honeymoon, we wouldn't have to paint. When I came home from nails, I was SO touched by that. I'll never forget. They were up to their ears in ocean-blue paint.

Incidentally, this caused us to run late for our own dinner. Since it was due to such a good reason, I tried to not be completely stressed out about being late. While we waited for Matt to finish getting ready, my sister and I had time for a photo shoot (note: we always have time for a photo shoot).

Finally we made it to our dinner. The dinner was EXACTLY what I wanted. It was at the East-West Bistro in downtown Athens. We had a private room upstairs that overlooked North Campus. It was absolutely perfect and if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have changed a thing (I say this now with 4 other family rehearsal dinners under my belt. They all reaffirmed that mine was PERFECT FOR ME.). We enjoyed eating delicious food, mingling with family members who had all arrived from their various points on the globe, and watching a slideshow of ourselves. Since you know what a huge fan of pictures of myself as a child I am, you KNOW I loved that slideshow!

Here we are from afar. Matt's mom is looking on.

And I know I showed this picture last week, but seriously. How much do I love this picture??! The flowers! The smiles! It's perfection.

After the dinner, it was off to bed...we had an EARLY wake-up call the next morning. Extensions don't just sew themselves in, you know. My sister and I shared my bed and got absolutely no sleep. How could we?? I was about to get MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Since tomorrow is our actual anniversary, it's safe to say that this tale is to be continued...

i guess i'm extreme

 Am I the only person who does this? It's my "day off," I have 50 million things to be doing (planning/prepping for a baby shower tomorrow, putting my house in some semblance of order, mowing the lawn, walking the dog, grocery shopping, sleeping...I could go on for days here) and yet all I am doing is drinking coffee, catching up on the blogosphere. I would almost feel lazy, except that I've had such a crazy week that I think I'm allowed this few minutes (okay, hour or two) of downtime. ESPECIALLY since I have this gem to share with yall.

So every once in awhile, the local newspaper shows up on our driveway. I think they're trying to 'tempt' us into subscribing. Now, this is not the Athens paper, which is the largest local semi-legit news source. We already get that. Nor is this the shopping circular that is just store ads and stuff that shows up once a week. This is a real newspaper (although I'm being generous to call it that, since it is apparently written and edited by third graders) for our county, aptly named the ______ County Journal. I guess sometimes they must print extras or something, because we'll get a Wednesday paper on a Thursday afternoon. I don't know why. But anyway, that's not the point.

The point is, we got one yesterday. Since we were about to drive out to the Gurley's house, I grabbed the paper to peruse during the drive (since I was the passenger, of course. I'm not one of those maniacs reading whilst driving...). And MAN am I glad I did. 

Normally I don't read political cartoons. Since I hate politics, it's only fitting. Plus I usually don't 'get' them, since I don't know what's going on in the political world. Luckily, there must not be much going on in the political world of my county. Because this cartoon spoke right to my heart. And then I laughed for 10 minutes. You might need to click this to view it larger. It will be worth your time.

Um....wow. This made me crack up. I'm not beyond poking fun at myself. Although I would like to point out that I am a far cry from a Hoarder (like the folks featured on the TLC couponing show)...I can definitely identify with having Kung Fu Scissor Mastery, the Hulk-Like Arms for Heaving Coupon Libraries, and Track Star Legs (although I've always had those, not just since I started couponing. I guess this is just a convenient excuse). I still need to work on my Paper Cut Tolerance, as those get me down quite frequently.

So now that I've shared the funniest thing I saw all week, I must move on to more productive things. Like ironing a million tablecloths. And shopping for baby shower groceries. Better grab my Hulk-Arm-Requiring Coupon Library!!

PS. Just so you know, I just cracked my own self up further by labeling this "politics." Hey, I mentioned the word. It must count. I think this will bring my count of "political" posts up to like....2. Since I am STILL laughing at this thought, I guess in addition to qualifying as "extreme," you could also call me "easily amused."

russian

This is gonna have to be short and sweet because I'm Russian.

Get it?  Russian? Rushing? Okay, I thought it was hilarious.

Still. I figured you'd rather have a short-n-sweet versus yet another day of NO BLOG, am I right? That's what I thought.

Life has been as ridiculous and crazy as you might have guessed, what with a wedding and funeral and two sets of families to spend lots of time with and oh yeah, jobs, and everything else life normally entails.

The wedding was beautiful. Since my camera was having an off day (and since I was part of the bridal party), I have pretty much zero pictures. I stole this picture from someone's facebook: Jake and Emily, husband and wife.

And I did manage to get a picture of Matt and I at the reception. This is my highly-anticipated Barbie Dress Debut. Enjoy.

It is by far the shortest, tightest, pinkest thing I have ever donned. And I am now auctioning it to the highest bidder.

Right, so the wedding was great. We rushed back to Athens on Sunday morning to attend the funeral on Sunday afternoon. Since then, we've spent our time like this: (please imagine a pie chart) Working-45% of day; Hanging out with Family- 40% of day; Sleeping/Being at our own house-15% of day. So don't worry, later on we'll chat about how tired I am.

First, let's catch up on the TWO WEEKS of Way Back When-sday I missed out on. I know, it's unacceptable. I'm sure you can figure out how to forgive me, though. I think I have excused absences.

This first picture is one I featured in the slideshow I made for Jake & Emily's rehearsal dinner. This picture makes me smile so much:

It's one of my pet peeves when people refer to their male babies (ESPECIALLY in utero...) as their "little man." Don't know why, that's always just irked me to no end. Maybe it's because "your man" is supposed to be your husband or boyfriend...and I just don't think of babies as being "my man," little or not. Anyway. All that to say: in this picture, Jake is truly proving that at this point in his life, he was a Little Man. So cute. And I love how I'm laughing at him. And wearing a bow tie. ????

And on a completely unrelated note, here's one of the newly-discovered pictures from Matt and I's rehearsal dinner:

I like this picture because we are happy and we're eating. And I have cute hair, even though you can't really tell here.

Okay, so like I mentioned earlier: I. AM. EXHAUSTED. Like SERIOUSLY. How tired are you?, you ask. SO TIRED that I have joined the elite club (comprised mostly of men in their late 50s and older) of people who fall asleep IMMEDIATELY upon sitting down. Sitting on a couch? Asleep. Sitting at the dinner table? Asleep. Sitting in the car? Asleep, unless I'm driving, in which case I'm about 30% awake. How tired are you?, you ask. SO TIRED that for the last week, pretty much everyone who has seen me has commented you look so tired!..despite the fact that I still manage to get dressed, apply make-up, and all that every day. Awesome. How tired are you?, you ask. SO TIRED that despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I actually took a pregnancy test the other day because I was convinced there was no other logical reason for how tired I am. It was negative, so obviously there is some other reason. I am going to diagnose myself with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and call it a year. Short term disability payments, please start coming my way immediately. Thanks.

OK. I think I've covered almost everything pertinent. Wedding. Way Back Wednesday. Funeral...well, didn't really go into that, but it was really beautiful. It has been such a blessing to have so much family time and I hate that it's for such a sad reason...but I still cherish this time. It's worth being tired for.

Unrelated notes: We have started cleaning out Tom's parents' house, which will have to eventually be sold. Last night I scored about 300 house plants, none of which I can identify, and all of which I will probably kill (unintentionally...it's just my track record). I would like to know if there is an app that identifies plants for you (like if I take a picture) and tells you how to care for them. If so, can someone with a smart phone please come over and help me with that. Thanks. I also got a sewing machine. Since I do not know how to sew, this should be a really special experience for whoever (Catherine) gets to teach me how. I think that this will take my Craftiness to the next level. What should my first project be? Lastly, I have not been to the gym in over a week. I just feel guilty and now that I have confessed, maybe I will feel less guilty. Thanks.

With that, I must go rush off to the next thing. No rest for the weary, I tell you.