world cup game plan

Don't let the title fool you. I don't have a game plan just yet. But there are still 24 hours until the games start, so it's not too late yet.

In case you don't know, the World Cup starts tomorrow. If you are in the "this is news to me" camp, I can only assume you aren't married to Matt. (There are other clues that also lead me to believe you're not married to Matt, but this is a big one.) If you were married to Matt like I am, you would know. WORLD CUP!!! OH MY GOSH!!! EEEEKKKK!! WOOOOOO!!! 

Handsome husband, gorgeous hydrangeas. Hydrangeas courtesy of UGA...can't take credit for anything except admiring and appreciating them on a daily basis.

Matt has an excitement and passion about the World Cup that rivals my enthusiasm for Mexican food, nail polish, and reality TV...which is to say a lot. Unfortunately, soccer isn't one of our shared passions. This presents a problem for a month every fourth year, because what we do share is a single TV in our shared living room.

You can see the obvious issues here.

So now the time is upon us again and I'm finding that I neglected to remedy our soccer issues during the last four years (you know, by either becoming passionate about soccer myself, or convincing Matt to hate it). Clearly I'm going to need a survival game plan for the next month. I'm just not sure what it's going to be.

Here are some options:

1. Try to learn about soccer and get interested in it, which could possibly lead to actually enjoying the (endless) games on TV. This is extremely unlikely because it is a verified fact (9 out of 10 scientists agree!) that soccer is the most boring sport on earth. It is boring to play (all you do is run around) and it is boring to watch (all they do is run around). Since none of that has changed since the last time I tried to care about soccer, it's safe to say that I'm still going to find it boring this year. So...next!

2. Try to convince Matt he doesn't want to watch. Unfortunately, he is already brainwashed beyond help into thinking that soccer is both fun to watch and play (I know, right?? So sad). But perhaps I can find something about the World Cup itself that will be appalling enough to keep him from supporting? Like...some egregious scandal...or something?? This is a stretch, but I'm keeping my ears open for anything that could horrify him into a boycott.

3. Buy another TV. This seems drastic and expensive. Plus, we don't have another room to put a TV in (the laundry room? Kitchen? Garage?) since we're anti-TV-in-the-bedrooms. Also, it's not so much that I have so many important things that I'd rather be watching...I can always watch Netflix on a laptop if I really want to. It's more like...I just get annoyed by hearing soccer on the TV and not having a husband to hang out with because HE is busy watching soccer. So another TV isn't really going to help with any of that.

4. Take up a new hobby for a month. Maybe if I had something fun and distracting to focus on during the evenings (I'm guessing he'll be DVRing the games since they come on at like 1 and 4 pm or something and he won't be able to watch them live), hearing soccer on the TV and having an absentee husband wouldn't be so annoying. But I can't really think of any hobbies I'm dying to take up. I guess I could start a book series or something? Hmmm...

5. Distraction. Maybe I can make myself so annoying amusing and distracting that Matt will just get fed up and cut off the TV? Like...tap dancing while using power tools in the garage. Or something. It would be really loud and I doubt Matt could really concentrate on the TV if he were preoccupied with how I'm probably breaking his power tools and/or chopping off my own limbs. Also, who wouldn't prefer watching me tap dance over seeing random guys run around after a ball on TV? Exactly.

Ugh. These are all the plans I've thought of so far and none of them are really speaking to me. I'm leaning towards some combination of #4 and #5. A distracting new hobby. I have one day to figure out what, so wish me luck!