Wednesday, June 11, 2014

world cup game plan

Don't let the title fool you. I don't have a game plan just yet. But there are still 24 hours until the games start, so it's not too late yet.

In case you don't know, the World Cup starts tomorrow. If you are in the "this is news to me" camp, I can only assume you aren't married to Matt. (There are other clues that also lead me to believe you're not married to Matt, but this is a big one.) If you were married to Matt like I am, you would know. WORLD CUP!!! OH MY GOSH!!! EEEEKKKK!! WOOOOOO!!! 

Handsome husband, gorgeous hydrangeas. Hydrangeas courtesy of UGA...can't take credit for anything except admiring and appreciating them on a daily basis.
Matt has an excitement and passion about the World Cup that rivals my enthusiasm for Mexican food, nail polish, and reality TV...which is to say a lot. Unfortunately, soccer isn't one of our shared passions. This presents a problem for a month every fourth year, because what we do share is a single TV in our shared living room.

You can see the obvious issues here.

So now the time is upon us again and I'm finding that I neglected to remedy our soccer issues during the last four years (you know, by either becoming passionate about soccer myself, or convincing Matt to hate it). Clearly I'm going to need a survival game plan for the next month. I'm just not sure what it's going to be.

Here are some options:

1. Try to learn about soccer and get interested in it, which could possibly lead to actually enjoying the (endless) games on TV. This is extremely unlikely because it is a verified fact (9 out of 10 scientists agree!) that soccer is the most boring sport on earth. It is boring to play (all you do is run around) and it is boring to watch (all they do is run around). Since none of that has changed since the last time I tried to care about soccer, it's safe to say that I'm still going to find it boring this year.!

2. Try to convince Matt he doesn't want to watch. Unfortunately, he is already brainwashed beyond help into thinking that soccer is both fun to watch and play (I know, right?? So sad). But perhaps I can find something about the World Cup itself that will be appalling enough to keep him from supporting? Like...some egregious scandal...or something?? This is a stretch, but I'm keeping my ears open for anything that could horrify him into a boycott.

3. Buy another TV. This seems drastic and expensive. Plus, we don't have another room to put a TV in (the laundry room? Kitchen? Garage?) since we're anti-TV-in-the-bedrooms. Also, it's not so much that I have so many important things that I'd rather be watching...I can always watch Netflix on a laptop if I really want to. It's more like...I just get annoyed by hearing soccer on the TV and not having a husband to hang out with because HE is busy watching soccer. So another TV isn't really going to help with any of that.

4. Take up a new hobby for a month. Maybe if I had something fun and distracting to focus on during the evenings (I'm guessing he'll be DVRing the games since they come on at like 1 and 4 pm or something and he won't be able to watch them live), hearing soccer on the TV and having an absentee husband wouldn't be so annoying. But I can't really think of any hobbies I'm dying to take up. I guess I could start a book series or something? Hmmm...

5. Distraction. Maybe I can make myself so annoying amusing and distracting that Matt will just get fed up and cut off the TV? Like...tap dancing while using power tools in the garage. Or something. It would be really loud and I doubt Matt could really concentrate on the TV if he were preoccupied with how I'm probably breaking his power tools and/or chopping off my own limbs. Also, who wouldn't prefer watching me tap dance over seeing random guys run around after a ball on TV? Exactly.

Ugh. These are all the plans I've thought of so far and none of them are really speaking to me. I'm leaning towards some combination of #4 and #5. A distracting new hobby. I have one day to figure out what, so wish me luck!


  1. Welcome to my life. Except mine is every year, all year round. I would find a book series to start. Haven't you not read Harry Potter? I would say this is a perfect time to start.

  2. Try sitting next to Matt on the couch and ask a million questions about soccer. Maybe you could annoy him to death and he will turn it off! ;) If that doesn't work you could watch a lovie on your laptop while sitting next to him. At least you're in the same room and you won't have to listen to the awful sounds of soccer!

  3. I must not be married to Matt because I did not know about this soccer thing! Sounds kind of like football season here...David will have a game on PLUS be hogging the laptop so he can watch stats or something, and I am left with nothing. So boring.

  4. I love soccer so I would be sitting on the couch, getting annoyed with Matt when he interrupted my intense focus on the game.

    However, I don't love soccer enough that I knew that the World Cup started tomorrow or that it lasted a full month. I just really get into (most) sports.

    Also, golf and car racing are WAY more boring than soccer.

    1. I have to agree with Natasha on this and racing are the most boring sports EVER. Soccer doesn't bother me much, I guess because my husband doesn't really acknowledge it as a sport. We're a one-TV household, too, so his sports watching has decreased dramatically since we moved in together. Sometimes I'll do him a favor and play on the computer at night so he can watch a baseball game, but the tap-dancing power drilling antic sounds like way more fun! I'll have to give that a shot next time...I've been dying to try out that new power drill he just got for Father's Day. :-) Good luck finding your favorite distraction!!

  5. "OMG didn't you hear?!?! All soccer players are puppy killers!!!" See if that works, if not, best of luck with four and five!

  6. If you can't bring yourself to read Harry Potter, may I suggest "Running with the Demon" by Terry Brooks? It's long enough to keep you distracted for awhile but not as much of a commitment as HP would be. I read it last summer, and it was ah.mazing. It's the kind of book that is so engrossing that you don't want to be around anyone else anyway. Plus it takes place in IL, so...

    If that fails, maybe this would be a perfect time for you to do a vlog? A makeup tutorial? Gardening tips? Pestering Matt while he tries to watch soccer?

  7. My husband is somewhat interested in the World Cup, but since we don't have cable, we have to go out to Buffalo Wild Wings or some other place that has a ridiculous amount of TVs for him to watch. I don't mind because I get a good meal and we don't stick around for too long. Maybe convince Matt that the World Cup is better enjoyed with some wings and a beer?

    And can I say that golf, tennis and NASCAR are waaaaaaaaaaaaay more boring that soccer? At least in soccer you get that random collision where both players come away with a broken nose.

  8. I SO feel your pain. I am a World Cup widow as well. My husband leaves work early to go to games. We should make a game, like pick the cutest players...

  9. I think a book series and Matt treating you to set of Beats headphones are in order. May I recommend the teal headset and for book series, off the top of my head: The Rick Riordan series, The Fallen series or...Harry Potter? Yes! Even if you were iffy on the movies, you will love falling into those books. Or, if you are looking for an older series to lose yourself in, I totally recommend the Game of Thrones series. It's a long fall, but a good one, and you'll forget there is such a thing as a TV.

  10. What you need to do is find a new t.v. series on Netflix to watch on the lap top, and you can go with 1 of 2 approaches: 1) choose one he wouldn't want to watch anyway and go to town, or 2) choose one he WOULD want to watch and either make him jealous, perhaps so jealous that he will ignore soccer and join you. Genius!

  11. I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE WORLD CUP YEAHHH MATTT!! :) Just had to get that out!

    1. I totally agree about starting the Harry Potter series, you will get too sucked into to realize there's a world around you! 2. Another idea is to bet Matt which team you think will win each game and if you get it right, then he has to buy you something from Ulta? :)

  12. I have zero interest in the World Cup, but I did play soccer in high school (I was Team Captain, believe it or not), so I take offense to #1!!

  13. Soccer is my favorite sport EVER!!! Cheers to the World Cup starting. Love it!

  14. Hello! :) I just found your blog today, and I'm so glad I did! I'm your newest follower and very much looking forward to following along :)


  15. I have a fantastic mental picture of you tap dancing in the garage holding a power drill and a ridiculous smile on my face at the thought. Ha!

  16. my husband is way into soccer and I'm...not. But he's always watching the real housewives with me, so I'm totally going to shout at the tv, drink beer, and pretend I know what's going on... bc hey that's love right?

  17. I'm with you on the no-TV-in-the-bedroom thing, which is why Eric has a TV in his "man cave." It is helpful for situations like this, although somehow he keeps finagling the living room TV for - get ready for it - RACING. Legit, redneck, go around in a circle racing. And the weird thing is he was never really into it before, but now all of the sudden he has to watch every single race and then call his friends to discuss the results. It's insanity!

    I say you need some books, or a new TV series for the laptop. When he's in "race mode" I usually call my mom or sister and get out of the house. The nice thing is that he's less likely to notice if I come home laden down with shopping bags when he's totally preoccupied with whatever lame race he happens to be watching.


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