Monday, November 24, 2014

the most thankful thanksgiving

We celebrated an early Thanksgiving with my family in Augusta this weekend, and I can honestly say that that the thankfulness wasn't limited to a meal this year. From the minute I got there until the minute we left, my heart was just overwhelmed with gratitude and joy over how many good things we have to celebrate this year.

I've wanted a baby for quite a long time (understatement). My sister also wanted and prayed for a baby- and when she got pregnant and I was still heartbroken and waiting, it broke her heart. I will never forget how hysterical sad and apologetic and happy and angry she was when she had to tell me that her dream had come true and she was pregnant. It took a long time for me to convince her that I really WAS happy for her- and I was! But I loved how honest she was- she'd always dreamed and imagined that we'd have kids growing up together. And she was mourning the loss of that dream the same way that I was.

And then we met J, and we were expecting, and Camilla was born, and then our adoption finalized, and then Laney was born...and in the space of a few months, our mourning has turned to rejoicing and our tears are long gone...and this weekend, we celebrated that. We both have babies. Girls. Cousins two months apart in age. Against all odds, we became mommies together and will get to experience our greatest joys (and struggles I'm sure!) together. It's so wonderful I can hardly stand it.


Blurry but beautiful to me anyway. And obviously we dress the girls like twins as much as possible because that is our love language. We dressed ourselves like twins growing up, despite the fact that our five-year age gap meant that we weren't really fooling anyone for a long time...but we didn't care. Dressing alike=love. So the girls will be twins until and unless they develop their own opinions and want otherwise.

Jake, Emily, and Carley were with us all weekend as well which meant lots of together time for all the cousins! Carley loves her baby cousins and really loved helping with their bottles and their pacis. And trying to steal their pacis. 

Laney: This is lame | Millie: This is so sad and scary! | Carley: I've got a boog to take care of...
 My parents were in Grandparent Excitement Level Code Red. And we can thank Mom for the awesome matching jammies. She understands the importance of dressing alike, clearly!

Millie and Laney are not impressed.

Jake (my brother) and Carley, Mark (my BIL) and Laney. You oughta know Matt and Millie by now...

I love this picture of all the dads and babies!!! Eeeeeekkkk!!

It just made my heart so happy to watch everyone loving on and holding and passing around the babies all weekend...and to finally be a part of it. To watch my own daughter be passed from grandparent to uncle to aunt and to see my siblings snuggle and kiss on her and tell her how much they love her and gaaaaah I am going to start crying. It's just that so many things smack of redemption these days, and this is yet another. For every holiday I spent crying in a bathroom, now I get to have a holiday watching a sister-in-law or grandparent rock and sway and comfort my baby, and it's just too much. It's perfect.

She hasn't quite figured out the art of selfies yet, but I'm sure we'll get there!
 We had a quick photo shoot in the backyard to try to get a good Christmas card photo. There aren't any photographers in the family, but I figured I'd put the good camera on auto, assemble some semi-coordinated outfits, find a decently lit spot, and hope for the best. And it went pretty well!!!


This is not the picture we put on the card (which I ordered approximately 15 minutes after the photo shoot concluded, hahaha...I am not a patient woman sometimes!), but it is basically the best picture ever. EVEN LOLA IS LOOKING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!! I am in love with this picture and plan to plaster it everywhere. You wanna talk about heart-healing?? Looking at this picture does it for me. I feel the broken pieces mend together a little tighter every time I look at it.

This is my family. My family. Forever.

(I'm gonna cry now, so bye!)

29 comments:

  1. crying at work!! you'd think i would know better by now. this fills my heart with so so so much joy. redemption made manifest. <3

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  2. The love in this post and photos is just so precious. Seriously, you and your sisters holding your babies - what a testimony to God's goodness!!

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  3. Love! Sp happy for you, and so thankful to hear the joy in your words. Enjoy this holiday season with your precious family. You have certainly earned a few holidays of joy, and happiness, and new family traditions.

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  4. Love this! Love that you have such happy reasons to cry now. Love that you get to share this with your sister Love how loved you are, and how loved your sweet daughter is--I bet your faces still hurt from all the smiles. Love your family picture (and am very impressed with how still Lola is, even if she's not looking the right direction.) You are in a wonderful moment, where the best is yet to come, and the best is right here in front of you.

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  5. If that's not the picture you chose for your Christmas card, I can't to wait to see "the one" because that one is pretty perfect!

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  6. Okay, I was just grinning and holding it together pretty well until your line of, "This is my family. My family. Forever." Sob. Erika, I probably say this almost every comment these days but I am just so darn happy for you and Matt. Seeing you become a MOM is one of the best things ever.

    And check out all those cousins! Are they identical triplets or something?! :)

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  7. Oh how I LOVE this post! I shouldn't have read this during work because my eyes are filled with tears! I am so happy for you, Matt, and Millie- perfection!

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  8. ok that family photo is ADORABLE!!!!! and I am SO happy for y'all!!

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  9. LOVE this post! And the pictures and the love coming from everything!! How perfectly wonderful!

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  10. Y'all are a beautiful family. I smile every time I read one of your posts!

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  11. I love how in love you are with your life.

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  12. Love this post! I can most definitely relate and am so happy that we both get to have legitimately happy holidays this year :)

    Also, I think "taking a selfie" should be added to the developmental check list for babies, don't you?

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  13. Well I haven't slept in 22 hours and you win for bring me to tears! I love every single thing about this post. Millie is beyond precious, your nieces are perfect, and your mom is beautiful! Thank you for bringing all of us along on your amazing journey. Watching your heart become whole again has been a privilege.

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  14. It got pretty dusty in here all of the sudden...
    I'm beyond thrilled for you and your family. Happy Thanksgiving!!

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  15. I'm so happy for you! Millie is absolutely adorable and so squishable in your family picture!

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  16. This post gives me so much hope. Thank you for sharing it! And I love all the pictures. Millie is a doll, as always.

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  17. Your smile in the last pic says it all. So much joy and love and thankfulness!

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  18. That is an awesome photo! You can feel the love coming through! SO happy for you.

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  19. I love every single word of this post. If I thought I'd already read your "best post ever" before now, obviously I was wrong. BEST STORY EVER. Amen and amen.

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  20. I love reading all about your little family and I'm so glad that you are happy :) Happy Thanksgiving!

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  21. I agree with the Amanda 3 comments above me! I just LOVE this story!!! I love reading about this chapter of your life and how incredibly happy you are! And all the adorable Millie pictures!!!! :)

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  22. My heart is so happy for you! I can only imagine the joy between you and your sister, your entire family really, and how long you have been waiting for this. You SO deserve it!

    The matching outfits are definitely necessary as long as possible because not much is cuter than adorable little kids in matching clothes. Happy Thanksgiving!

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  23. I hear the love in this post. It brought a warm feeling to my heart. You look incredibly happy in those pictures. Don't worry I'm sure Millie will learn from the best on taking selfies.

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  24. Beautiful post, Erika! And now you have me crying too. Love your honesty through your struggles and I am so thankful with you for all you have celebrated as a family this year!

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  25. Love it, and just what I needed to read! I've been worrying about the holidays with a new baby - all the germs and other people holding my baby. But, I need to be thankful and grateful for this time to spend with family and to have people love on her. Thank you for the change in perspective!

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  26. Oh how I love everything about this!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING Mama!

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  27. I love this post so much I read through it twice! I could just feel all of the love and happiness in your words! I'm so happy for you! Happy Thanksgiving!

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  28. This post is amazing! Everything about it makes me so happy for you... especially all of those babies in the matching jammies. I love them. Happy Thanksgiving to you (a bit late).

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