Recovery is...going. It's been 48 hours since surgery now, and I will admit that a very few of my sources of laparoscopy info had said that you may need as little as 2 days to start feeling 'somewhat normal' after your lap. To those people I would like to say: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EFFING MIND???! Maybe if your laparoscopic surgery was only the laparoscope part-- as in, ALL they did was look around. Then MAYBE you would start feeling better by 2 days later. But if they did ANYTHING else in there (such as, I don't know, remove some giant cysts, some small cysts, some adhesions, and also do a hysteroscopy and D&C...)...you are NOT feeling much better by 2 days later. Luckily, I had planned for this, so on my own personal "feeling better timeline," I guess I'm right on target. I feel...slightly better than I did the night after surgery. Let's break down the pain, shall we? (Note: I do not expect that most people are interested in any of this-- I really just go into this detail for the people who may be facing a similar surgery of their own. I found this kind of information super useful when preparing for my surgery, and promised myself I'd pay it forward...hence the abundance of details.)
Shoulder & Chest Pain: Yeah, you read me right. Let me quote something from the "postoperative instructions" they sent home with me from the hospital, lest you question why I am complaining about shoulder pain after an abdominal surgery: "Mild to severe shoulder pain is due to the stretching of the diaphragm during distention of the abdomen by carbon dioxide gas during the procedure. The nerve that goes to the diaphragm also supplies the shoulder, explaining this "referred pain". This CO2 pain is no joke, but luckily it's getting less and less bothersome as the time passes (because your body absorbs it eventually). But when it's flaring up...holy crap, it really hurts.
Abdominal Pain: Well, it's pretty bad. However, it's not a whole lot worse than the pain after a ruptured cyst or ruptured hemorrhagic cyst, so it's a pain I'm (unfortunately) somewhat accustomed to dealing with. However, the inability to use my core muscles is a lot worse than it is during regular ruptured cyst-recovery. I can't change positions (like go from laying down to sitting up, or sitting to standing, or roll over) without help...and THAT is obnoxious. I have to lay there and wait for someone to come help pull me up...annoying.
Incision Pain: I have 4 incisions; 1 through my bellybutton and 3 lower down. The bellybutton and one on the left haven't bothered me a bit. The other 2 hurt like crap. They are a combination of throbbing and feeling like my skin is stretched/sewed too tightly. Naturally, these hurt worse if I move or change positions...so I'm doing a whole lotta laying reallllly still. I took off the outer 'dressing' (bandages), but the incisions are all covered up with the steri-strip stuff, so I can't really see the incisions or stitches very well. I can't take off the steri-strips for a few more days.
Nausea: Thankfully, I haven't had much nausea at all. Haven't popped a single Zofran even (although they did give me some in my IV when I was still in the hospital). The few 'bouts' of nausea I've had, I was able to sleep off, so...yay for that success story.
Appetite: I eased back into eating and drinking over the first 24 hours post-surgery...starting with mostly liquids and BRAT-esque foods (and saltines. Lots of saltines). Last night and today I've eaten pretty much normal food, but much smaller portions than normal (so that means, probably a NORMAL woman's sized portions. Ha. I'm a big eater...this reduced portion size probably wouldn't be a bad idea to maintain!). I think with the swelling or something, there's just not much room for the normal amount of food in there...so I get filled up fast. Unlike after my knee surgery, though, my appetite seems pretty normal. After knee surgery...geez, I spent so much time barfing, I had NO desire to eat ANYTHING. I attribute this to knowing better what kinds of painkillers I tolerate now, so I'm avoiding the ones that make me sick.
Uhhh..."other": OK, I know I promised I wouldn't talk about bowel function again, but...sorry, folks. So a normal side-effect of the narcotic painkillers (and surgery) is constipation. I had a HORRIBLE problem with this after the hemorrhagic cyst episode in April...awful. So I was prepared to be super pro-active this time around, plus my doctor is alllll about the "bowel health" and loves nothing more than talking about it!! So I've been VERY devoted to watching my liquid/fiber intake and taking Dulcolax on schedule. Unfortunately...it hasn't worked yet. So today I upped my game and switched to Miralax. Hopefully that'll work soon, or I know how miserable I'll be in a few more days, and I can't bear to think about that. Ugh.
In all, I guess recovery is going well. My parents were here from yesterday afternoon until about 4:30 today, so that was wonderful. They pretty much cooked and entertained and hung out on the couch with me, so that was very nice. We've been watching Olympics like mad (SO THANKFUL that they are on right now!!), so I haven't even had a chance to start reading all the books and magazines I'd gathered for recovery entertainment. But I know I'll have plenty of time to do that the rest of the week...
Sleep is going fine. I've been going to bed around 11:30 or 12 and waking up at 5 or so when my meds run low. Then I have to eat something, take meds, and then I can usually fall back asleep for another few hours. Then I nap a few times throughout the day. Luckily, though, when I'm AWAKE, I'm mostly feeling (mentally) fine (not too groggy or dizzy or whatever else painkillers make you feel). Today I wanted to go on a quick flower walk with my mom (I know, I know...but once I'm UP, walking isn't too bad...I thought I could handle it!)...well, the 10 minutes in the blazing sun and heat, while wonderful for my mental health, was apparently WAY too much for my body. I felt like I'd been hit by a truck, and had to sleep for 2 hours to recover from the excitement (and new bout of shoulder pain). So that made me feel like a real winner. Not.
If that's not a thorough enough recovery-report, I don't know what is. How about a picture-of-a-picture from surgery? (Too much work to get out the scanner...deal with a phone picture of the printed picture)
So the cyst is the whiteish thing (that's the Big Mamajama on my left ovary). The pinkish thing right next to it is my UTERUS. So yes, the cyst is bigger than the uterus. That's not creepy at all.
Also, today I was watching women's water polo, and WOW. First of all...those girls are scary. I would not want to fight with them. Or get on their bad sides. But THEN-- I saw an underwater shot with a serious WARDROBE MALFUNCTION. As in..boobie. Major boobie. It was scary. And that is all I have to say today.
Just wanted to leave a quick post letting yall know that I made it through surgery just fine and am home again in one piece. I so much appreciated the sweet comments, texts, Instagram & FB messages, emails, Tweets, calls, singing telegrams, and messages-in-bottles yall inundated me with (pop quiz! two of the previously listed things actually did not happen...any guesses?), and since the pain is temporarily fairly well-controlled (well, maybe it won't be temporary? I can be optimistic...), I wanted to give a decent update. And some super attractive pictures.
Try not to be jealous of my stylin' compression leg warmers (reason you wear them: they velcro these leg massager thingies around your legs during surgery, since your legs are up in stirrups the whole time, presumably to keep the blood pumping and your legs from falling asleep. Too bad I was asleep and didn't get to enjoy the massage) and non-skid socks that look like fish skeletons (reason you wear them: because it's FREEZING in the operating room and frostbite would really complicate things). Yes, I got to bring them home, yes, I'm still wearing them, no, you may not borrow them. So sorry.
I also got a super sweet hairnet and an IV in my hand. Matt called me "The Painter" the whole time I had on this thing, and kept requesting I paint him murals. That kid...
Prior to surgery, Dr. S predicted that surgery would take an hour to 1.5 hours. The anesthesiologist said that "coming out" of the anesthesia would take 5 to 15 minutes. Surgery actually lasted 2 hours. Waking up from anesthesia took me 45 minutes (to become semi-conscious. Probably another hour before I could move my body or open my eyes or talk on command. Weirdest feeling ever...). I guess you could say I'm an overachiever? Or I like to get my money's worth?
As far as surgery went, the good/expected things were: got the giant cyst off my left ovary (comment from Dr. S: "whoa, that guy was a BEAST!"); did not find ANY fibroids or polyps during the hysteroscopy/D&C. Found that my cervix is super tiny and tight (not new news: this was why our second IUI had to be converted to an ICI, and I've been repeatedly told about my 'stubborn' cervix), but now Dr. S suspects that this could be one of the causes of my endo (due to increased retrograde menstruation). Maybe I'll go into this more later, but that was good news because he can and did 'widen' the cervix some, so he is hopeful that it may delay the re-growth of endo.
Less good/unexpected things: A new (since my ultrasound last month, I guess) (but small) endometrioma on my right ovary (quote from Dr. S: "Yeah, I was not impressed...that guy was tiny, you certainly coulda done better..."), and a fair smattering of adhesions throughout my pelvic cavity. The adhesions are totally a bummer (basically that's scar tissue growing and fusing together organs in my pelvic cavity that uh...aren't supposed to be fused together) and definitely a sign of more advanced endo. He removed them all, but...yeah, bummer. But you know Dr. S-- he certainly wasn't bummed. He apparently had a fantastic afternoon discovering all these fun things and totally whipping my insides into shape. He is so funny to me!! Slash I wonder how much coffee he drinks...(related note: there are Keurigs in every single waiting room/area at the practice and the surgery center!! So nice!!)
Anyway...wow, did I actually say that this was going to be a 'quick' update? Hahaha. Hilarious. Blame it on the meds!
I would have to say that the best miracle of the day (besides not dying, obviously) was that despite leaving at 4:00 on Friday afternoon, it took only an HOUR AND A HALF to get home!!!! That's from Johnson Ferry Rd in ATL all the way back to almost-Athens, yall...during rush hour(s)?? Totally a miracle. And I was still basically unconscious from the anesthesia, so I wasn't even totally miserable. That was a HUGE blessing.
Anyway. So now I'm trying to stay ahead of the pain by adhering to a disciplined regimen of pills, and easing my way back into food with the BRAT diet (which I would like to refer to as Boring, would Rather have A Taco). But since a banana and rice were a vast improvement over mag citrate, I'm pretty satisfied, actually. Currently my abdominal pain isn't too terrible (unless I'm moving or trying to sit up) and the CO2 is apparently hanging out in an optimal location, because my shoulder pain is minimal. Hence the reason I've felt well enough to type a novel of a blog AND text people. Woohoo! I have high hopes of sleeping through the night tonight, and tomorrow morning my parents will be showing up with arms laden with food for our freezer and hearts full of parent-ly love and 'fuss over your poor broken daughter'-ness...which I am all about. We are so thankful for all four of our parents' love and help and care for us!! Sometimes being a grown-up is awesome, but...sometimes it's not so bad to have other people taking care of you, too.
Well, I'm losing focus now, so I'll go back to watching the 282038th swimming event...I mean, I am seriously bored with swimming now. Is there NO OTHER sport worth televising? I appreciated (and cried through, which hurt my tummy) the special on the Magnificent Seven tonight...perhaps next they could do a special on the Russian Gymnasts' Eye Makeup? It is simultaneously ridiculous and inspirational. Just like me. Hahaha. G'night and thanks again for the love!
Wow. Just....wow.
If you recall-- today is the highly-anticipated day before surgery, featuring a clear liquid diet and bowel prep!!!!
It has been an interesting and enlightening afternoon to say the least. I would go into more details, but I fear I would alienate everyone except...um, well, probably everyone. And that would be super sad. So instead, I will direct you to this awesome and information-packed guide called "How to Survive a Bowel Preparation" from the folks at endometriosis.org. Please read it and enjoy snorting with laughter as you visualize preparing yourself a "nest" stationed near the bathroom.
To be honest, it really hasn't been unbearable yet...except for hearing Matt laugh and make fun of me outside the bathroom. RUDE. I'm not even super starving...probably because I've consumed approximately a lake's worth of liquids today. And the magnesium citrate-- while not tasty by any means, wasn't horrible. I'm not a big fan of carbonated drinks in general, so I didn't care for the fizziness, especially since I had to CHUG it...but it wasn't nearly as nasty as the 'CAT scan smoothie', so I can't complain too much. At any rate-- so far, so good.
Other than that, I've just been finalizing home preparations for recovery. This included, naturally, rearranging all of the living room furniture last night so that the preferred couch could be more optimally positioned for TV viewing and electricity-accessing. Which meant we also had to reposition the other couch, the rug, the coffee table and end table...yeah. It will be worth it, though, to not have a huge crick in my neck from craning to see the TV. Now I'm just watching the Olympics, guzzling Powerade, and freaking Matt out by blurting out things like "WHAT IF I DIE DURING SURGERY!??!?!??!!" (answer: "I will be mad at you," delivered with a disgusted look.)
Speaking of dying: I forgot to tell yall this story yesterday. During pre-op, when Dr. S (remember: a funny, SUPER ENTHUSIASTIC man if ever there were one!) was telling me all about the bowel prep and liquid diet, I commented that "I am probably going to die of starvation and never make it here for surgery, anyway" (because I am not melodramatic at all). His reply, delivered totally deadpan: "Yeah, that's what I'm counting on...I kinda overbooked the surgery schedule on Friday, so I'm hoping at least a few people don't survive the liquid fast and free up my day a little..." That made me laugh. I never would have pictured a RE being such a comedian, but apparently I lucked out with this one!
And with that, I'm done. And by "I'm done," I mean that nature's calling and I must go answer...again. WOOHOO BOWEL PREP!
(PS. I promise to never, ever talk this much about bowels on this blog again in the future. Please don't un-follow me and send me anonymous hate mail. This is a one-time thing.)
So this afternoon I had my pre-op consultation in Atlanta, getting ready for surgery on Friday. But let me back up first, I guess, to yesterday afternoon, when I got a thick envelope of papers in the mail from my doctor. It had some general info about surgery date and time, pre-op details...ya know, regular stuff. Nothing terribly exciting-- except for in the blank where they filled in what kind of surgery I was signed up for, there were...EXTRA THINGS!! See, I thought I was just going in for a laparoscopy/cyst removal. Apparently that would be a bit too boring, so my doctor decided to throw in about 10 more procedures while he's in there. So the paperwork said "Surgical Procedure: Diagnostic Laparoscopy w/LSB, Left Ovarian Cystectomy, Hysteroscopy, D&C." Umm...hello, that is a lot of procedures at once! Think about how much more research I could have been doing! Anyways, so at least I knew I'd have some questions to ask at my appointment today. Such as "why am I having a hysteroscopy and a D&C?" Valid questions, in my opinion.
So I get to the office this afternoon, and pretty quickly all of my hopes and dreams for Thursday (day before surgery) were crushed. See, I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat or drink after midnight (Thurs night/Friday morning, however you like to think of midnight...), and I was already majorly dreading being hungry and thirsty all morning leading up to my noon surgery. Therefore I was already planning a big day of eating (haha, as though ALL of my days couldn't be classified as such), complete with an 11:45pm "snack" of my favorite Trader Joe's tamales. You know, to tide me over...
But apparently all of these plans were in vain, because when I arrived at the appointment, I had this waiting for me:
Oh yes, my friends. That's an order for a Mag Citrate Bowel Prep. EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!
Even though most of the endo laparoscopy bloggers have mentioned needing to do these...well, since my doctor didn't mention it to ME, I assumed I was somehow special and would not need to go through that misery. Buttt.....apparently not. Now I'm pretty sure I'm sadder and more anxious about this part than the surgery itself. In addition to the supposedly disgusting mag citrate and its "cleansing" effects...I CAN'T EAT ANY FOOD AFTER NOON THURSDAY!!! Only a weird list of clear-ish liquids!!! So much for my delicious dinner and post-dinner-tamale plans. Ugh.
Then I had to look through all this paperwork and release forms, and there were separate forms for each of the procedures. Each paper had the procedure (ie: laparoscopy) and the issue (ie: endometriosis) and what the procedure would accomplish (ie: removal of cysts). So I was not thrilled to see that on the paper for the hysteroscopy and D&C, the issue was "fibroids and polyps"!!! Because...what the heck, no one has ever told me I have fibroids and/or polyps??! But then there were also some random "doctor letters" throw in there (like P/O fibroids or something), so I was just hoping that those letters meant that they'd be LOOKING for those things...not that I definitely have them.
So then I had bloodwork, peed in a cup, and had a bellybutton exam. You read me right. Since one of the incisions will be going in through my bellybutton, they needed to investigate it first...ya know, get the lay of the land? And give me specific instructions about how to be properly cleaning my bellybutton over the next few days. And he told me a story about a lady who had this really deep and nook-and-cranny-filled bellybutton and when they were getting all up in it to start the surgery, there was a REALLY ANCIENT PIECE OF A PLASTIC BABY TOY. And I immediately assumed-- yeah, that's nasty, how did her kid shove a piece of toy in her BELLYBUTTON and she never noticed for years? But then my doctor went on to say that they think it was HER TOY, as in, from her OWN CHILDHOOD, and had been in there for 20something years. Ummm...wow. Not sure how they decided that, but...glad he declared my bellybutton to be "perfect" (I'll pass on the compliment to my mom's obstetrician, I guess?) and hopefully toy-free.
Then I asked about the hysteroscopy, D&C, fibroids, and polyps. It basically came down to getting as much done at once as he could. The hysteroscopy will be to get a good look at the inside of my uterus, and if they find anything (such as polyps or fibroids), they could take care of them (the "C" part of the D&C). The hysteroscopy is a fairly standard IF procedure (but not one I've had before) and is usually done on its own, for diagnostic purposes. He's just going ahead and doing it "while he's in there," because...why not. Made sense to me, so I'm fine with it. And was happy to know that I do NOT (that they know of) have fibroids and/or polyps...that is what those random letters meant: we're just CHECKING for them! And will remove them, if they happen to find them.
Then we just chatted for a good long while about what to expect before/during/after surgery. Dr. S is probably the most excited and optimistic person I've ever met. He was telling us about the surgery he'd just come out of, which was removing some fibroids in a woman's uterus. They were apparently in four different places, and as he described the surgery, he was like "oh MAN, so now she's got like, FRANKENSTEIN UTERUS, all stitched together in four places...oh WOW it was awesome...it's gonna heal up SO GREAT and be SO AWESOME!!!!" and once again, I feel like I am not NEARLY excited enough about most things in my own life. I guess it's great to have a doctor that loves his job, though!! Although I hope no one ever has to refer to my uterus as "Frankenstein uterus"...especially since I'm pretty sure Frankenstein was a male?
So that was it. Now I count down til The Misery begins (which is at noon tomorrow, when I STOP EATING)...and then surgery is on Friday. Yippee.
Before we go-- one of my favorite bloggers, Camila, is starting a blogger book club. Today she announced our first book, which we'll be reading this month. You should join in! I know I'm looking forward to the book, which I've heard fabulous things about.
And now I'm off to make...ummm...the squash gnocchi dish. Again, yes. It was so good!! And my hours of eating are limited now, anyway, so...better make every meal count!!
