cleansed

Wow. Just....wow.

If you recall-- today is the highly-anticipated day before surgery, featuring a clear liquid diet and bowel prep!!!! 

It has been an interesting and enlightening afternoon to say the least. I would go into more details, but I fear I would alienate everyone except...um, well, probably everyone. And that would be super sad. So instead, I will direct you to this awesome and information-packed guide called "How to Survive a Bowel Preparation" from the folks at endometriosis.org. Please read it and enjoy snorting with laughter as you visualize preparing yourself a "nest" stationed near the bathroom.

To be honest, it really hasn't been unbearable yet...except for hearing Matt laugh and make fun of me outside the bathroom. RUDE. I'm not even super starving...probably because I've consumed approximately a lake's worth of liquids today. And the magnesium citrate-- while not tasty by any means, wasn't horrible. I'm not a big fan of carbonated drinks in general, so I didn't care for the fizziness, especially since I had to CHUG it...but it wasn't nearly as nasty as the 'CAT scan smoothie', so I can't complain too much. At any rate-- so far, so good.

Other than that, I've just been finalizing home preparations for recovery. This included, naturally, rearranging all of the living room furniture last night so that the preferred couch could be more optimally positioned for TV viewing and electricity-accessing. Which meant we also had to reposition the other couch, the rug, the coffee table and end table...yeah. It will be worth it, though, to not have a huge crick in my neck from craning to see the TV. Now I'm just watching the Olympics, guzzling Powerade, and freaking Matt out by blurting out things like "WHAT IF I DIE DURING SURGERY!??!?!??!!" (answer: "I will be mad at you," delivered with a disgusted look.)

Speaking of dying: I forgot to tell yall this story yesterday. During pre-op, when Dr. S (remember: a funny, SUPER ENTHUSIASTIC man if ever there were one!) was telling me all about the bowel prep and liquid diet, I commented that "I am probably going to die of starvation and never make it here for surgery, anyway" (because I am not melodramatic at all). His reply, delivered totally deadpan: "Yeah, that's what I'm counting on...I kinda overbooked the surgery schedule on Friday, so I'm hoping at least a few people don't survive the liquid fast and free up my day a little..." That made me laugh. I never would have pictured a RE being such a comedian, but apparently I lucked out with this one!

And with that, I'm done. And by "I'm done," I mean that nature's calling and I must go answer...again. WOOHOO BOWEL PREP!

(PS. I promise to never, ever talk this much about bowels on this blog again in the future. Please don't un-follow me and send me anonymous hate mail. This is a one-time thing.)