prepped

So this afternoon I had my pre-op consultation in Atlanta, getting ready for surgery on Friday. But let me back up first, I guess, to yesterday afternoon, when I got a thick envelope of papers in the mail from my doctor. It had some general info about surgery date and time, pre-op details...ya know, regular stuff. Nothing terribly exciting-- except for in the blank where they filled in what kind of surgery I was signed up for, there were...EXTRA THINGS!! See, I thought I was just going in for a laparoscopy/cyst removal. Apparently that would be a bit too boring, so my doctor decided to throw in about 10 more procedures while he's in there. So the paperwork said "Surgical Procedure: Diagnostic Laparoscopy w/LSB, Left Ovarian Cystectomy, Hysteroscopy, D&C." Umm...hello, that is a lot of procedures at once! Think about how much more research I could have been doing! Anyways, so at least I knew I'd have some questions to ask at my appointment today. Such as "why am I having a hysteroscopy and a D&C?" Valid questions, in my opinion.

So I get to the office this afternoon, and pretty quickly all of my hopes and dreams for Thursday (day before surgery) were crushed. See, I knew that I wouldn't be able to eat or drink after midnight (Thurs night/Friday morning, however you like to think of midnight...), and I was already majorly dreading being hungry and thirsty all morning leading up to my noon surgery. Therefore I was already planning a big day of eating (haha, as though ALL of my days couldn't be classified as such), complete with an 11:45pm "snack" of my favorite Trader Joe's tamales. You know, to tide me over...

But apparently all of these plans were in vain, because when I arrived at the appointment, I had this waiting for me:

  Oh yes, my friends. That's an order for a Mag Citrate Bowel Prep. EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!! Even though most of the endo laparoscopy bloggers have mentioned needing to do these...well, since my doctor didn't mention it to ME, I assumed I was somehow special and would not need to go through that misery. Buttt.....apparently not. Now I'm pretty sure I'm sadder and more anxious about this part than the surgery itself. In addition to the supposedly disgusting mag citrate and its "cleansing" effects...I CAN'T EAT ANY FOOD AFTER NOON THURSDAY!!! Only a weird list of clear-ish liquids!!! So much for my delicious dinner and post-dinner-tamale plans. Ugh.

Then I had to look through all this paperwork and release forms, and there were separate forms for each of the procedures. Each paper had the procedure (ie: laparoscopy) and the issue (ie: endometriosis) and what the procedure would accomplish (ie: removal of cysts). So I was not thrilled to see that on the paper for the hysteroscopy and D&C, the issue was "fibroids and polyps"!!! Because...what the heck, no one has ever told me I have fibroids and/or polyps??! But then there were also some random "doctor letters" throw in there (like P/O fibroids or something), so I was just hoping that those letters meant that they'd be LOOKING for those things...not that I definitely have them.

So then I had bloodwork, peed in a cup, and had a bellybutton exam. You read me right. Since one of the incisions will be going in through my bellybutton, they needed to investigate it first...ya know, get the lay of the land? And give me specific instructions about how to be properly cleaning my bellybutton over the next few days. And he told me a story about a lady who had this really deep and nook-and-cranny-filled bellybutton and when they were getting all up in it to start the surgery, there was a REALLY ANCIENT PIECE OF A PLASTIC BABY TOY. And I immediately assumed-- yeah, that's nasty, how did her kid shove a piece of toy in her BELLYBUTTON and she never noticed for years? But then my doctor went on to say that they think it was HER TOY, as in, from her OWN CHILDHOOD, and had been in there for 20something years. Ummm...wow. Not sure how they decided that, but...glad he declared my bellybutton to be "perfect" (I'll pass on the compliment to my mom's obstetrician, I guess?) and hopefully toy-free. 

Then I asked about the hysteroscopy, D&C, fibroids, and polyps. It basically came down to getting as much done at once as he could. The hysteroscopy will be to get a good look at the inside of my uterus, and if they find anything (such as polyps or fibroids), they could take care of them (the "C" part of the D&C). The hysteroscopy is a fairly standard IF procedure (but not one I've had before) and is usually done on its own, for diagnostic purposes. He's just going ahead and doing it "while he's in there," because...why not. Made sense to me, so I'm fine with it. And was happy to know that I do NOT (that they know of) have fibroids and/or polyps...that is what those random letters meant: we're just CHECKING for them! And will remove them, if they happen to find them. 

Then we just chatted for a good long while about what to expect before/during/after surgery. Dr. S is probably the most excited and optimistic person I've ever met. He was telling us about the surgery he'd just come out of, which was removing some fibroids in a woman's uterus. They were apparently in four different places, and as he described the surgery, he was like "oh MAN, so now she's got like, FRANKENSTEIN UTERUS, all stitched together in four places...oh WOW it was awesome...it's gonna heal up SO GREAT and be SO AWESOME!!!!" and once again, I feel like I am not NEARLY excited enough about most things in my own life. I guess it's great to have a doctor that loves his job, though!! Although I hope no one ever has to refer to my uterus as "Frankenstein uterus"...especially since I'm pretty sure Frankenstein was a male?

So that was it. Now I count down til The Misery begins (which is at noon tomorrow, when I STOP EATING)...and then surgery is on Friday. Yippee.

Before we go-- one of my favorite bloggers, Camila, is starting a blogger book club. Today she announced our first book, which we'll be reading this month. You should join in! I know I'm looking forward to the book, which I've heard fabulous things about.

And now I'm off to make...ummm...the squash gnocchi dish. Again, yes. It was so good!! And my hours of eating are limited now, anyway, so...better make every meal count!!