I really need to get this off my chest. Or my lumpy, bumpy, cellulite-ridden abdomen, as the case may be.
Dear Old Navy,
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THE MIRRORS IN YOUR DRESSING ROOMS??!?!?! It's just wrong. It's sick. And I don't know why you would do that to the innocent citizens who merely want the privilege of buying your cheaply-made, mass-produced, overwhelmingly cute wares. It's not right. Where on earth do you find the lights for your dressing rooms? Specially tinted to create the appearance of lines, bumps, and creases on skin? Instantly bestowing humans with a grayish, death-like pallor? Why would you do that? And those mirrors? Now I'll be the first to admit, the full-length mirror at my house is tilted against the wall at the Optimum Skinniness Slant...and I fully recognize that it doesn't reflect reality, but I leave it that way anyway because IT MAKES ME HAPPY. Don't you want people to be HAPPY when they're trying on your clothes? Why would you put your mirrors at the Optimum HORRIBLENESS Slant? The one that magnifies fat rolls by a factor of 7.9? The one that superimposes cellulite onto areas so incredibly cellulite-free (such as wrists. And earlobes.) that it's not even remotely realistic? Do your dressing room attendants really like listening to women sob behind their closed doors? Isn't that sad for them, too, to be handed a huge pile of crumpled-up clothes, damp with the tears of defeat, as people miserably leave their oddly-lit lairs of self-loathing and sprint towards the safety of their cars? Just...help me to understand. I'm struggling here. And I bought your stupid bikini anyway, because despite how nauseating it looked on me in your dressing room, I have the years of experience to know that when I get home, where the lighting is normal and the mirrors are just...mirrors...it won't be nearly as bad. So despite my anger, your bottom line is still gonna be okay. And maybe mine will too...because as soon as I got home, I made my bottom run 3 miles. And as I ran, I screamed at the top of my lungs, for all the cows to hear, "I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THIS, OLD NAVY MIRROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" So thanks for the incentive to run, but seriously. You gotta do something about your dressing rooms.
With much love and a mean side-eye,
Erika
Thanks for enduring that. It's just been weighing heavy on my heart since yesterday's unfortunate experience.
In more positive news, I have two things for you. Of course, neither of them can I really claim as my own, but that won't stop me from sharing.
Great News The First: You know my friend Colleen? The one who wrote Elly in Bloom? And [one of] my blogging soulmate[s]? If you don't, you should, so get on that. But anyways. Like many of us, Colleen has been awaiting her first baby for years and years. And years. And then some more years. And they've been sitting on an adoption agency's 'approved and waiting' list (process complete, waiting to be picked) for TWO YEARS. So you do the math-- first there's infertility (long period of time), then there's deciding to adopt and choosing and agency and fundraising and home studies and paperwork and classes and paperwork (long period of time), and THEN you're approved and waiting and then they wait TWO YEARS, during which time their paperwork expires, they have to do stuff OVER again, and just try to think about how miserable and anxious you might be feeling in the midst of all this...and how much you might want to punch in the face any clueless person who suggests that someone might 'JUST ADOPT!'...grrr...but anyway. I am thrilled beyond belief to tell you that on Saturday morning, Colleen & Ryan's son was born and that THEY ARE PARENTS now!! Obviously there are a lot of things that still have to happen before it is official, but there's a baby in their house and they are over the moon. I just wanted to tell you so that you could a) go offer them some congratulations and b) pray for them, that everything would go smoothly and well during the next month or so, until parental rights are terminated and everything is complete. But also I've just had this ridiculous perma-smile on my face since Saturday, and in case you wanted to know why I'm looking so goofy, this is why. I am so thrilled for them. SO go read Part 1 of her story and get your very own perma-smile! We can be twinsies!
Great News The Second: I read a really great blog post that someone shared on FB yesterday. As I was reading it, at first I was kinda mad because I was like dude, this totally sounds like what I think...and he even writes like me...THIS SHOULD BE MY BLOG!!!! But, it's not, and I got over it pretty quickly so now I'm good with just sharing it and hoping it brings some inspiration or peace to someone else. Confronting the Lie: God Won't Give You More than You Can Handle...go check it out.
That's all, folks. Have a good one!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
our weekend 'staycation'
It was a gorgeous weekend in Georgia...hot, but not unbearably so...and it actually managed to stop raining for a few days, so we tried to make the most of the weekend and spend as little of it indoors as possible. For as much as I don't like to sweat, I sure do love spending all day long out in the sun on the weekends. Which means that by all accounts, this was a great weekend.
Saturday morning we rolled out of bed in a timely fashion and made our way out to The Sandbar to spend the afternoon kayaking down the Broad River. We've kayaked the Broad each of the last two summers, but both of those years we were in the midst of a deep and long-lasting, Code Red, Level 10 (ok, I made that part up) drought. Meaning that there was barely any water in the river and we basically had to walk 5 miles dragging our kayaks behind us. It took forever and it was a whole lot of exercise. But THIS YEAR, thanks to days upon weeks of rain, we are officially OUT of the drought and the rivers are FULL! Everyone I know who's gone kayaking this year raves about how awesome it is getting to actually FLOAT the whole time, and how it's way more fun that previous years. So obviously we needed to get on it, and the time is now...before the rivers dry up again! Don't delay...row today. Something like that.
You know how sometimes smart people do dumb things? Well here's Exhibit A from my personal experience this weekend. I decided to take my iPhone kayaking with me. In a (non-waterproof) Otter Box. But I put it in a Ziplock bag for protection, which is obviously brilliant. Or...not. I don't know what I was thinking. I definitely wasn't thinking about GOING OVER RAPIDS and GETTING DUMPED OUT OF MY KAYAK...along with all of my possessions. I need pictures! I'll take my phone!...was about all I thought of. Not smart. Big shout-out to God for keeping me (and my phone) safely in the kayak the whole trip. Please try to picture me each time I approached a rocky section/rapid, wrapping my Ziplock-bagged phone in my tank top, squeezing them between my knees, praying that my knees didn't flail apart as I tried to keep my balance over the rapid...sheesh. I think it took a few years off my life, but at least I got some fun pictures. And I won't be repeating that idiot move in the future. Trust me.
Other than phone-related stress, it was a wonderful and fairly easy ride down the river. We stopped to swim a bit and watched lots of turtles getting suntans. Afterwards we were starving, so we stopped for Mexican at a hole-in-the-wall and had some amazing puposas (me) and tortas (Matt). I swear that Athens (and surrounding small towns) has some of the best Mexican (and Salvadorean) food in the world. And I've actually been to Mexico a few times, so obviously I'm an expert. Boom.
After arriving home, we decided to take advantage of the nice weather and fact that we were already sweaty and gross and knock out some other sweaty/gross chores: mowing and washing our car. It was a very productive afternoon.
Sunday after church we decided it was time to make a big purchase we've been debating all summer: the inflatable pool for the backyard. Since all of you were wholeheartedly supporting this purchase, it made it pretty easy to convince Matt that it was a great idea. And then we found a $22 pool at Aldi and it was a done deal. We even sprung $5 to get a pump to blow it up. I know...we're high rollers.
After a tasty lunch on the grill, we spent a relaxing afternoon in our backyard resort.
Pretty much the only thing missing was a waiter bringing us drinks. Oh, and water over 6 inches deep. See, our preferred location (see how nice it looks from my bedroom window?) wasn't exactly what you'd call level. I figured this would not be a problem. I didn't mind if it was deeper on one side. We'll call it the 'deep end' and be done with it! Unfortunately, that's not how it works in the world of inflatable pools. What happens is the 'deep end' caves in and your water dumps out everywhere. Who knew? So after enjoying the pool for about 30 minutes in that location, we had to empty it, move it to the far back of the yard where it's a bit more level (and way more visible from the road/neighbors' houses) and start over.
It's not in as pretty an area now, but at least the sides aren't collapsing, so I guess we'll call it a win. After we were done swimming (hahaha) we decided to fashion a pool cover out of a plastic dropcloth, Ziplock baggies filled with rocks, and duct tape. It was pretty brilliant, if you ask me, and very effective. So now our pool won't get grass, leaves, and bugs in it. And it'll be all ready for us to cool off in after work (and working out)! I can hardly wait to embark on this new life of leisure...a home swimming pool...whatever luxuries will befall us next??!
We patted ourselves on the back for being 'adventurous' two weekends in a row (last weekend biking the Augusta Canal)...it makes you feel like you didn't totally waste your days, you know? Matt called our weekend a 'staycation,' since we did fun and relaxing things while basically staying at home. I thought that was a pretty fair assessment! We're looking forward to ANOTHER fun outdoor adventure next weekend for our anniversary!! Apparently we're hitting up every single fun outdoor thing in the state...if you're familiar with Georgia outdoor attractions (with an emphasis on FUN and SEMI-ACTIVE), feel free to recommend any we're missing!! Have a happy Monday!
Saturday morning we rolled out of bed in a timely fashion and made our way out to The Sandbar to spend the afternoon kayaking down the Broad River. We've kayaked the Broad each of the last two summers, but both of those years we were in the midst of a deep and long-lasting, Code Red, Level 10 (ok, I made that part up) drought. Meaning that there was barely any water in the river and we basically had to walk 5 miles dragging our kayaks behind us. It took forever and it was a whole lot of exercise. But THIS YEAR, thanks to days upon weeks of rain, we are officially OUT of the drought and the rivers are FULL! Everyone I know who's gone kayaking this year raves about how awesome it is getting to actually FLOAT the whole time, and how it's way more fun that previous years. So obviously we needed to get on it, and the time is now...before the rivers dry up again! Don't delay...row today. Something like that.
Other than phone-related stress, it was a wonderful and fairly easy ride down the river. We stopped to swim a bit and watched lots of turtles getting suntans. Afterwards we were starving, so we stopped for Mexican at a hole-in-the-wall and had some amazing puposas (me) and tortas (Matt). I swear that Athens (and surrounding small towns) has some of the best Mexican (and Salvadorean) food in the world. And I've actually been to Mexico a few times, so obviously I'm an expert. Boom.
After arriving home, we decided to take advantage of the nice weather and fact that we were already sweaty and gross and knock out some other sweaty/gross chores: mowing and washing our car. It was a very productive afternoon.
Sunday after church we decided it was time to make a big purchase we've been debating all summer: the inflatable pool for the backyard. Since all of you were wholeheartedly supporting this purchase, it made it pretty easy to convince Matt that it was a great idea. And then we found a $22 pool at Aldi and it was a done deal. We even sprung $5 to get a pump to blow it up. I know...we're high rollers.
After a tasty lunch on the grill, we spent a relaxing afternoon in our backyard resort.
Pretty much the only thing missing was a waiter bringing us drinks. Oh, and water over 6 inches deep. See, our preferred location (see how nice it looks from my bedroom window?) wasn't exactly what you'd call level. I figured this would not be a problem. I didn't mind if it was deeper on one side. We'll call it the 'deep end' and be done with it! Unfortunately, that's not how it works in the world of inflatable pools. What happens is the 'deep end' caves in and your water dumps out everywhere. Who knew? So after enjoying the pool for about 30 minutes in that location, we had to empty it, move it to the far back of the yard where it's a bit more level (and way more visible from the road/neighbors' houses) and start over.
It's not in as pretty an area now, but at least the sides aren't collapsing, so I guess we'll call it a win. After we were done swimming (hahaha) we decided to fashion a pool cover out of a plastic dropcloth, Ziplock baggies filled with rocks, and duct tape. It was pretty brilliant, if you ask me, and very effective. So now our pool won't get grass, leaves, and bugs in it. And it'll be all ready for us to cool off in after work (and working out)! I can hardly wait to embark on this new life of leisure...a home swimming pool...whatever luxuries will befall us next??!
We patted ourselves on the back for being 'adventurous' two weekends in a row (last weekend biking the Augusta Canal)...it makes you feel like you didn't totally waste your days, you know? Matt called our weekend a 'staycation,' since we did fun and relaxing things while basically staying at home. I thought that was a pretty fair assessment! We're looking forward to ANOTHER fun outdoor adventure next weekend for our anniversary!! Apparently we're hitting up every single fun outdoor thing in the state...if you're familiar with Georgia outdoor attractions (with an emphasis on FUN and SEMI-ACTIVE), feel free to recommend any we're missing!! Have a happy Monday!
Friday, June 21, 2013
infertility link-up...and serious Man Fashion.
Today I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner for a little show-and-tell about everyone's favorite topic: INFERTILITY! And the crowd goes...um, well, not so wild. Whatever. So-- regular peeps-- I'm just going to do a quick intro/infertility bio and then I'll get back to your regularly scheduled programing. If you don't wanna listen to me rehash the sob story...scroll on down and I'll meet up with you in a minute.
Soo...hello, new people! If you're here cause you're experiencing infertility, then I'll start by saying I'm sorry and it sucks and I wish you didn't have to know what it was like...but finding people in my same boat to commiserate, swap stories, and cry with (as well as laugh, congratulate, and vent frustrations to!) has been one of the best things to happen to me during my rather lengthy journey towards building a family. And now I'm going to stop wasting time and being awkward and hokey and get down to the nitty-gritty brief overview of my IF story.
My husband and I have been TTC for 4.5 years. In 2010 we were diagnosed with severe male-factor infertility. We had three failed IUIs in late 2010. In 2012 I was diagnosed with stage III endometriosis and diminished ovarian reserve. Last August I had the laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/D&C to clean out the endo; in December, Matt underwent surgery to repair some of the veins and varicoceles causing his sperm abnormality. We have been told since 2011 that our only option to achieve pregnancy will be IVF, which may be true. It has certainly proven true thus far, but we hold fast to hope in our God of miracles and pray that there may be one for us someday. We may still choose to do IVF at some point- right now we are still 'waiting and seeing' as Matt's body continues to improve its capabilities post-surgery...and mine seems to get worse by the month. We are also actively pursuing private adoption. We desire a child more than a pregnancy and will be absolutely thrilled no matter what route our family grows through.
For extra credit, you could read the unabridged version of our TTC story. I have handy little categories for my posts regarding infertility in general (both ours and...you know, REALLY general...) and endometriosis. Sometimes I'm full of hope. Sometimes I'm teetering on the edge of despair. Sometimes I write you letters and tell you how it really feels. Frequently I overshare. Although my medical experiences and treatments are far, far less extensive than many IFers, I do my best to share information in hopes that the things I've learned along the way can help someone else.
Although infertility tries hard to become my whole life and absorb all of my brain, I do my best to fight back, so I don't blog about only infertility. My husband and I are currently beating our bodies into submission and training for a triathlon, which is pretty laughable since we're not exactly athletic. I also have a deep passion for gardening, cotton candy, manatees, and reality TV, so I try to focus on those things (instead of sperm fragmentation) on occasion.
So...that's kinda me in a nutshell. Feel free to stick around for the ride (and contact me if you have any questions) if you think you can handle my long-windedness! I promise that sometimes I'm funny...it's kind of like your prize for reading all of my words. Or at least that's how I think of it.
BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGGING.
So on Wednesday afternoon we decided to stop by the pool on our way home from work for a quick swim. Let's be honest: it was no less miserable than last time. Something tells me that 30 years of drinking daiquiris by the pool did not give me the swimming skillz necessary for this tri. Bah. But anyway, we did it. And didn't die, which felt like an accomplishment. After getting done with our laps, we hopped back in the car for the 10 minute ride home. It is important to note that we weren't really pool-ready for this excursion. We hadn't thought past throwing our swimsuits in the car that morning, so we didn't have any other clothes to put on besides our work clothes...and since it was such a quick ride home, we didn't see any reason to put work clothes back onto our wet bodies. We just hopped in the car in our wet suits and went on our merry way.
You can see where this is going, right?
Of course we needed gas. Of course we did! Of course the gas light was on and we'd gone like 20 more miles than we ever get on a tank...there was no way we could not stop for gas.
Matt bravely pulled up alongside the pump at the gas station in our small town.
"I really do not want to get out of the car. I really canNOT get gas like this..." he whined. Ever the assuring wife, I was all "sure you can, babe! You got this! No one will even notice or care! No one pays attention to other people at a gas station! Just hurry and do it!!"
I could write the textbook for How To Be a Supportive Wife, right?
And also probably the one for How To Be a Jerk Wife...because as soon as he was out and pumping, I was all over that mess...paparazzi-style.
These were the best shots I could get because shockingly, Matt wasn't terribly enthused at me falling out of the car trying to get pictures. There may or may not have been a slight wrestling match over the phone, but luckily I prevailed. Because the world needed to see this. It was too amazing not to share. The avant-guard way he paired those striped swim trunks (ON TREND!) with the business-y shoe and sensible sock? Amazing. This man needs his own Fashion Week.
As I was hooting and crying with laughter, he was pouting that no one wears dress shoes with a bathing suit. I tried to make him feel better by reminding him that yes some people do. Miss America contestants. I don't think it helped.
After awhile he forgave me for my raucous laughter and abundant joy over his silly outfit. I offered to delete the picture from Instagram. He said I didn't have to. I gave him about 24 hours, and then I asked if I could put it on my blog. I said "THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE IT! PEOPLE LOVE TO LAUGH!" and he said he had to think about it. An hour later, he said I could put it on the blog. For you. Because he knows I like to make people laugh. And he's a damn good husband like that.
So there you have it. I hope you're able to make equally amazing fashion statements yourself this weekend...or find someone else doing it and subtly take a picture. If you want to express your appreciation for Matt's willingness to take one for the team here, I would suggest leaving a nice haiku or perhaps a stock market tip for him in the comments. You know. Something he would enjoy. Because after I thanked him for letting me post these pics, he said "YOU OWE ME BIG TIME," so...help a sister out.
Soo...hello, new people! If you're here cause you're experiencing infertility, then I'll start by saying I'm sorry and it sucks and I wish you didn't have to know what it was like...but finding people in my same boat to commiserate, swap stories, and cry with (as well as laugh, congratulate, and vent frustrations to!) has been one of the best things to happen to me during my rather lengthy journey towards building a family. And now I'm going to stop wasting time and being awkward and hokey and get down to the nitty-gritty brief overview of my IF story.
My husband and I have been TTC for 4.5 years. In 2010 we were diagnosed with severe male-factor infertility. We had three failed IUIs in late 2010. In 2012 I was diagnosed with stage III endometriosis and diminished ovarian reserve. Last August I had the laparoscopy/hysteroscopy/D&C to clean out the endo; in December, Matt underwent surgery to repair some of the veins and varicoceles causing his sperm abnormality. We have been told since 2011 that our only option to achieve pregnancy will be IVF, which may be true. It has certainly proven true thus far, but we hold fast to hope in our God of miracles and pray that there may be one for us someday. We may still choose to do IVF at some point- right now we are still 'waiting and seeing' as Matt's body continues to improve its capabilities post-surgery...and mine seems to get worse by the month. We are also actively pursuing private adoption. We desire a child more than a pregnancy and will be absolutely thrilled no matter what route our family grows through.
For extra credit, you could read the unabridged version of our TTC story. I have handy little categories for my posts regarding infertility in general (both ours and...you know, REALLY general...) and endometriosis. Sometimes I'm full of hope. Sometimes I'm teetering on the edge of despair. Sometimes I write you letters and tell you how it really feels. Frequently I overshare. Although my medical experiences and treatments are far, far less extensive than many IFers, I do my best to share information in hopes that the things I've learned along the way can help someone else.
Although infertility tries hard to become my whole life and absorb all of my brain, I do my best to fight back, so I don't blog about only infertility. My husband and I are currently beating our bodies into submission and training for a triathlon, which is pretty laughable since we're not exactly athletic. I also have a deep passion for gardening, cotton candy, manatees, and reality TV, so I try to focus on those things (instead of sperm fragmentation) on occasion.
So...that's kinda me in a nutshell. Feel free to stick around for the ride (and contact me if you have any questions) if you think you can handle my long-windedness! I promise that sometimes I'm funny...it's kind of like your prize for reading all of my words. Or at least that's how I think of it.
BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOGGING.
So on Wednesday afternoon we decided to stop by the pool on our way home from work for a quick swim. Let's be honest: it was no less miserable than last time. Something tells me that 30 years of drinking daiquiris by the pool did not give me the swimming skillz necessary for this tri. Bah. But anyway, we did it. And didn't die, which felt like an accomplishment. After getting done with our laps, we hopped back in the car for the 10 minute ride home. It is important to note that we weren't really pool-ready for this excursion. We hadn't thought past throwing our swimsuits in the car that morning, so we didn't have any other clothes to put on besides our work clothes...and since it was such a quick ride home, we didn't see any reason to put work clothes back onto our wet bodies. We just hopped in the car in our wet suits and went on our merry way.
You can see where this is going, right?
Of course we needed gas. Of course we did! Of course the gas light was on and we'd gone like 20 more miles than we ever get on a tank...there was no way we could not stop for gas.
Matt bravely pulled up alongside the pump at the gas station in our small town.
"I really do not want to get out of the car. I really canNOT get gas like this..." he whined. Ever the assuring wife, I was all "sure you can, babe! You got this! No one will even notice or care! No one pays attention to other people at a gas station! Just hurry and do it!!"
I could write the textbook for How To Be a Supportive Wife, right?
And also probably the one for How To Be a Jerk Wife...because as soon as he was out and pumping, I was all over that mess...paparazzi-style.
These were the best shots I could get because shockingly, Matt wasn't terribly enthused at me falling out of the car trying to get pictures. There may or may not have been a slight wrestling match over the phone, but luckily I prevailed. Because the world needed to see this. It was too amazing not to share. The avant-guard way he paired those striped swim trunks (ON TREND!) with the business-y shoe and sensible sock? Amazing. This man needs his own Fashion Week.
As I was hooting and crying with laughter, he was pouting that no one wears dress shoes with a bathing suit. I tried to make him feel better by reminding him that yes some people do. Miss America contestants. I don't think it helped.
After awhile he forgave me for my raucous laughter and abundant joy over his silly outfit. I offered to delete the picture from Instagram. He said I didn't have to. I gave him about 24 hours, and then I asked if I could put it on my blog. I said "THE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE IT! PEOPLE LOVE TO LAUGH!" and he said he had to think about it. An hour later, he said I could put it on the blog. For you. Because he knows I like to make people laugh. And he's a damn good husband like that.
So there you have it. I hope you're able to make equally amazing fashion statements yourself this weekend...or find someone else doing it and subtly take a picture. If you want to express your appreciation for Matt's willingness to take one for the team here, I would suggest leaving a nice haiku or perhaps a stock market tip for him in the comments. You know. Something he would enjoy. Because after I thanked him for letting me post these pics, he said "YOU OWE ME BIG TIME," so...help a sister out.
Thursday, June 20, 2013
the end of the internet
Does anyone remember that commercial from a few years ago that had some guy sitting in front of the computer, blank stare on his face, clicking...clicking...and then you see this window pop up on his screen that says "YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF THE INTERNET!"? Sometimes I feel like that guy. Or like I will someday. But not this week. Luckily, this week I discovered some pretty quality things on the internet. Lemme share.
First of all, did yall read about the most amazing roommate prank ever? Apparently it's viral now, so most likely you have (also I think it was on Good Morning America yesterday?)...but I would just like to say that people like these guys are my people. I really love a good prank and folks that can laugh at themselves and band together in the name of doing something extremely ridiculous. So high five to my people...and also, Matt's Father's Day present would feel right at home in the newly designed room!
[Random side story: During high school, the girls in my youth group had a long-running PRANK WAR against the guys. It was pretty brutal. One of my favorite pranks that we pulled off was one weekend when we were going on a retreat. We pre-planned our pranks to the hilt and were ready for war, which meant that before we left for the weekend, one of the girls had stopped by a bait shop (in case you're not from the south/sticks, that would be a place where you buy fishing bait & tackle) and asked if she could have all the...ummm...unsellable bait. AKA the dead minnows. They float to the top of the tanks, so she just skimmed off a few dozen dead fishies and they let us have 'em. We put them in some opaque water bottles and headed to the mountains for our retreat. On Saturday afternoon while the guys were all out hiking or something, we sneaked into their room and put dead fish all over all of their stuff. It was disgusting and amazing. It was the best prank ever. Except for a few hours later when we discovered that unbeknownst to us, the guys had actually switched dorms with another church (while leaving a few of their personal items in highly visible places so that we would still THINK it was their room) the previous day, since they'd anticipated us coming in and doing something to their stuff. So that meant that what we'd actually done is put dead fish all over some random people's stuff. And guess what? They were MAD. And their chaperones were MAD. And we got in big trouble. (and had to clean up our dead fish...and a lot of other horrible stuff we'd done in there)...and one might think that that would have ended our prank war, but obviously it did not. It just made us a little more careful the next time we decided to strike.]
Anyways. Back to the internets. (Let me know if you want more prank stories. I have plenty.)
I signed up for SwagBucks the other day. Am I the last person on earth to do this? Do any of you do it? I've concluded that it isn't going to be my ticket to vast riches and the easy life of travel & leisure, but it's been fairly amusing to me so far. Plus I just love filling out surveys. I fill like I have the best opinions (and obviously the right opinions) about everything and this is a great outlet for people to benefit from knowing them. And I can make the equivalent of like 4 cents, so I mean...win-win.
If you find yourself bored with the world and the internet, I would like to offer one final recommendation and antidote: This blog, It's a Dog Lick Baby World, is one of my recent BEST DISCOVERIES EVER. I'm serious. This girl is one of the funniest people I've ever met (read?) and also she might be certifiably insane when it comes to running. Her blog is a hybrid extreme running/mommy blog, and even though I can't identify with either of those things, I keep coming back because I kind of want to be just like her. Even though she might be crazy (exhibit A: in a few weeks she will be running a 50k (yes, 31 miles) race and then a 6 hour distance race WITHIN SIX DAYS OF EACH OTHER. Even she admits that this is probably not a great idea, but her concern is not with the running or the possibly dying of a heat stroke or legs breaking...it is with how she's going to manage to pump during the races, since she's still BFing her 6 month old. Let's talk about BFing problems most people never run into...) I must admit that I feel like my lame 3 mile runs are pretty terrible now, but whatever. You should read it.
If this is the worst post ever, I apologize. At least I pointed you in the direction of something more quality to read/do, though, so that should count for something, right?
First of all, did yall read about the most amazing roommate prank ever? Apparently it's viral now, so most likely you have (also I think it was on Good Morning America yesterday?)...but I would just like to say that people like these guys are my people. I really love a good prank and folks that can laugh at themselves and band together in the name of doing something extremely ridiculous. So high five to my people...and also, Matt's Father's Day present would feel right at home in the newly designed room!
[Random side story: During high school, the girls in my youth group had a long-running PRANK WAR against the guys. It was pretty brutal. One of my favorite pranks that we pulled off was one weekend when we were going on a retreat. We pre-planned our pranks to the hilt and were ready for war, which meant that before we left for the weekend, one of the girls had stopped by a bait shop (in case you're not from the south/sticks, that would be a place where you buy fishing bait & tackle) and asked if she could have all the...ummm...unsellable bait. AKA the dead minnows. They float to the top of the tanks, so she just skimmed off a few dozen dead fishies and they let us have 'em. We put them in some opaque water bottles and headed to the mountains for our retreat. On Saturday afternoon while the guys were all out hiking or something, we sneaked into their room and put dead fish all over all of their stuff. It was disgusting and amazing. It was the best prank ever. Except for a few hours later when we discovered that unbeknownst to us, the guys had actually switched dorms with another church (while leaving a few of their personal items in highly visible places so that we would still THINK it was their room) the previous day, since they'd anticipated us coming in and doing something to their stuff. So that meant that what we'd actually done is put dead fish all over some random people's stuff. And guess what? They were MAD. And their chaperones were MAD. And we got in big trouble. (and had to clean up our dead fish...and a lot of other horrible stuff we'd done in there)...and one might think that that would have ended our prank war, but obviously it did not. It just made us a little more careful the next time we decided to strike.]
Anyways. Back to the internets. (Let me know if you want more prank stories. I have plenty.)
I signed up for SwagBucks the other day. Am I the last person on earth to do this? Do any of you do it? I've concluded that it isn't going to be my ticket to vast riches and the easy life of travel & leisure, but it's been fairly amusing to me so far. Plus I just love filling out surveys. I fill like I have the best opinions (and obviously the right opinions) about everything and this is a great outlet for people to benefit from knowing them. And I can make the equivalent of like 4 cents, so I mean...win-win.
If you find yourself bored with the world and the internet, I would like to offer one final recommendation and antidote: This blog, It's a Dog Lick Baby World, is one of my recent BEST DISCOVERIES EVER. I'm serious. This girl is one of the funniest people I've ever met (read?) and also she might be certifiably insane when it comes to running. Her blog is a hybrid extreme running/mommy blog, and even though I can't identify with either of those things, I keep coming back because I kind of want to be just like her. Even though she might be crazy (exhibit A: in a few weeks she will be running a 50k (yes, 31 miles) race and then a 6 hour distance race WITHIN SIX DAYS OF EACH OTHER. Even she admits that this is probably not a great idea, but her concern is not with the running or the possibly dying of a heat stroke or legs breaking...it is with how she's going to manage to pump during the races, since she's still BFing her 6 month old. Let's talk about BFing problems most people never run into...) I must admit that I feel like my lame 3 mile runs are pretty terrible now, but whatever. You should read it.
If this is the worst post ever, I apologize. At least I pointed you in the direction of something more quality to read/do, though, so that should count for something, right?
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