crazy like whoa

While I'm sitting here watching my beloved Dawgs not playing so hot (hotly?)...let me share a few things.

First, a phone conversation that occurred last night between Matt and his uncle.

Matt: Hey, Uncle Danny! Do you want to come over and watch the game with us tomorrow?
Uncle Danny:Yeah! Hey...what kind of TV do yall have?
Matt: Um.... (here's a visual so you can see what Matt is thinking)



...our TV is you know...about32 inches, 700 pounds...the stuff mid-1990s dreams were made of, basically.
Uncle Danny: Oh...well, see, I just bought myself a new 52 inch flat-screen the other day, so I need to get rid of my 40-inch. How about I just bring it over when I come?
Matt: Yep, yep, I think that will work...

So...we got a new TV! As you may have guessed, we're not exactly the most technology-obsessed people...which is why we've never cared enough to spend money on a less-archaic TV. But who are we to turn down one for free?!?!
We got it set up just in time to watch the game. And now that I look at this picture, I notice that the TV isn't quite centered on the stand. I'll fix it, I promise!

Now for my next crazy story. Only actually it's not really crazy at all. I just wanted you guys to feel excited and hopeful and keep reading. Sorry if I got your hopes up too high.

Anyways.

This morning I faced a wardrobe crisis that probably a lot of other college football fans faced as well-- how can I dress today to both show support for my team AND be in the Halloween spirit?! I know, it was quite a daunting task...but I must say that in a stroke of sheer genius (and yes, I just initially spelled that phrase "shear genius" because I love that show on Bravo!!) I rose to the occasion and managed to put together the PERFECT outfit!

Perfect, right?? Red and dark gray shows support for the Dawgs, while the pirate seems to say "Happy Halloween to you!"...right? I was pretty proud of myself. Proud enough that I made Matt take a really lame picture of me posing all by myself...which felt just as lame as it looks. We tried to de-lame-ify the situation by getting Lola to pose with me. Here's how that went:
I was holding the treat hoping to trick her into staying still. Instead I tricked her into jumping all over me. Oh well. It's probably just that she was so in awe of my multi-tasking outfit she didn't know what to do with herself.

So other than dressing myself and hooking up a new TV...it's been a rather relaxing and semi-productive day. I'm looking forward to trick-or-treaters coming by tonight, watching more football, and working on getting our Christmas card designed! And finalizing our costumes for Costume Bowling tomorrow night...which means more pictures are to come, for sure!

Happy pre-Halloween!!

filing a complaint

Remember awhile back (okay, YIKES, it was over a year ago) when I wrote some rather complain-y blogs about Comcast and the terrible customer service I was receiving? And then remember how that random guy Mark Casem, whose job is apparently to troll the interwebz looking for people whining about Comcast, left a comment offering to help me with my problem? Well, trust me, I never took him up on it. I just left Comcast for DirecTV and haven't regretted it a minute since. But I've been whining about some stuff in my brain lately and I figured...why not write about it here, just in case someone who can do something about it happens by? So this is me taking official action and Filing a Few Complaints.

First of all...
Dear Any Giant Official Corporation in Any Way Affiliated with Dealing with Anything Related to my Recent Car Accident:
Please stop contacting me. Please stop sending me long confusing letters in the mail and please stop requesting me to send you stuff that I have no idea what you're talking about. I can't even write a legible SENTENCE here (and I am slightly grammar-snobby) because I am SO confused. Seriously. Just stop. I realize that everyone wants money from someone and while 3 companies have claimed they'll cover my medical bills, for some reason some company is still convinced they have not been paid and someone wants me to mail someone else some medical coding information so that it can be filed properly and PLEASE JUST STOP THE MADNESS. The only correspondence I would like to receive in the future is a check. A big fat one, made out to me. Because you know what? I got ran over by a truck. And don't you think for one minute I've let anyone forget about that. Mattie...I can't walk the dog...I got RAN OVER BY A TRUCK!!...and I need a milkshake....cause I got RAN OVER BY A TRUCK!!! OK, sorry, I digressed. But seriously. Just stop.
Love,
Erika

Secondly...
Dear Clomid:
First of all, thanks for all you do. I mean, not that you've personally paid off for me, but in general, I think you've been very helpful for couples struggling to conceive. And really, I don't want to be petty here, because I'll admit-- I've been pretty impressed with the lack of side effects. Lots of fertility meds are pretty brutal, so I appreciate that you aren't so much. But seriously-- is it COMPLETELY necessary that I break out like a 16 year old?? I mean, really?!?! Because trust me-- I remember the Acne Battle really well. I mean, I've been fighting it for like...the last 15 years...and only in like the past year have I even come close to winning. But you are really setting me back. It's disgusting and I don't appreciate it. I already feel like I'm a failure as a woman, not being able to bear children and all. Do I have to look like a failure too?
Thanks and I look forward to eating you again in the morning,
Erika

And lastly...
Dear Treadmill at the Gym:
You know, I'm all about keeping things real. But do we have to keep it that real? It's just that it's depressing when I work my butt off for half an hour and you have the nerve to tell me I only burned 250 calories. Um...there's no possible way. I mean, I consume more calories than that before I even eat breakfast each day. So do you really think I'm going to believe that all my hard work only results in burning a measly 250 calories?? I think not. I know you're lying. Just the way I know I'm lying about my weight on it, too. (Hey, you never know who's peeking over your shoulder to see you type in those numbers!) So that's how I've convinced myself that since I'm slightly underestimating my weight...perhaps you are slightly underestimating my calorie-burning. It's just a thought. So I see your 250 and I translate that to about 900. Just so you know.

Thanks,
Erika

new things

First of all-- wow. Thank yall so much for your outpouring of love and support on my last post. You really don't know how much all the comments, emails, and texts mean to me. I'm not gonna lie-- I read back through them all daily. Sometimes I find that when I completely lack strength and hope and prayer myself...just to know that other people still have those things can bring me back to having it myself. Does that make any sense? So thank you.

And for the record...I most certainly do not consider it "creepy" to blog-stalk. :) I consider it being a silent friend...haha. But it is really fun when you come out of the closet, so thanks for making my day by letting me know who you are!! You guys encourage me to come out on some of the (MANY) blogs I stalk daily...look what a beautiful kum-by-ya circle we have made! Haha.

Alright, so. The rest of my week got better, just as I'd hoped. Not better like "surprise!! turns out I AM pregnant!"...but you know, just a regular amount of better. We spent several fun evenings with family and friends, which just makes everything feel better. AND!!!! (Here's where "new things" comes in)....

Remember this??

The china cabinet we bought back in June and planned to re-finish? Well, friends, it's been a long and slow process. Although, come to think of it, it didn't have to be. It wasn't really that much work...it's just we like to take 3-week breaks in between doing any work. So whatever. BUT. Once the weather got cold (remember, "cold" means like...60), Matt wanted to re-claim his spot in the garage, so that encouraged him to finish the cabinet so it could move out of his way. And this week-- this is what we have!!

Isn't it pretty?? It took about a thousand coats of stain because it kept looking too RED. We wanted to darkest stain possible (but not black), going for an espresso color...but it was more like..magenta. And side note: this was not even cheap stain! For once we bought the best-quality of something! Anyway, a thousand coats later it was a much more suitable shade, although still a little on the red side. We moved it into our dining room on Tuesday, which has led to the dilemma of a lifetime: How on earth to arrange the furniture in there so it doesn't look weird. Feel free to come over and offer an opinion. Now, you will notice that it's only the bottom half of the china cabinet. We haven't even touched the hutch yet, and may not get around to it til spring. That's okay though. The bottom part (can we call it a buffet? or what?) gives us plenty of MUCH-needed storage space (hello, kitchen with no pantry) and a nice top to decorate...so when we do the hutch, that will be nice, but it'll probably be awhile. We can fit both cars AND the hutch in the garage at once, so it's not really a priority, ha.

OK, next fun topic: Pictures!! Last Sunday, Matt and I had a little photo shoot at a park with our friend Diana. You may remember that a few blogs ago I mentioned we were trying to find a picture suitable for our Christmas card. I actually had TWO people (who are REAL photographers) volunteer to take our pictures!! So we met with Diana on Sunday and had a blast. (And we'll probably take Kristina up on her offer, too, at Thanksgiving!) I'll confess something: I LOVE having my picture taken. Call me vain, but I think it is so much fun. Maybe in my next life I will be a supermodel.

I've only seen a tiny sampling of the photos yet, but here are a few of my favorites (that probably WON'T be The Christmas Card...you will have to hold your breath for that one!):



Anyway, we had a lot of fun. If you are ever looking for a model for your photo shoot, please feel free to contact me. As you can see, I'm very professional.

And finally, another new thing: The Couch-to-5k program. I have decided to set a goal for myself, which is to be able to run a 5k. Don't get me wrong-- I've participated in 3 or 4 5ks over the last few years. But "participate" does not equal "run"! So since I've been working out for almost a year, I figure I can probably start trying to see if it's paid off. I have high hopes that I will be able to do this program, since I'm not exactly a couch potato...I DO work out regularly. I just don't run. (Unless you count the elliptical as running). This program takes 8 weeks, so that means I should be able to do the 5k by my birthday!! I am excited. I like having a goal, and I think this one is manageable. Except that I will probably eventually have to run outside, which I do not like. I like air conditioning and TVs and people watching. And seeing how many calories I've burned. I'm sort-of a princess when it comes to working out, I guess.

Well, enough of this Saturday has been spent in front of the computer. Time to enjoy the weather and the TV and do my first 5k-training workout!! Wish me luck, I think it involves running for like 30 consecutive seconds...

not this time

And...I'm out. Out of the "maybe I'll get pregnant this month!!!!" game. Again.

And again.

And again.

I feel like a broken record.

Emphasis on broken.

Also emphasis on record. As in...have I set some kind of world record for REALLYREALLY wanting to get pregnant and perpetually failing?

I know I haven't (yet). People do this for YEARS AND YEARS. Way more than my current (almost) two years. So...isn't that incredibly NOT encouraging?? I could still be doing this two years from now? Ha, right. We all know I won't be doing this two years from now. By then I will have just up and kidnapped a baby while shopping at Target and will be serving cold hard time in a penitentiary somewhere.

So...I don't really know what to say. I've been avoiding writing this blog because I feel like as long as I don't write it...maybe there's still hope, maybe it's not really true, maybe I'll wake up and my life will be totally different. Maybe we won't be broken and maybe our doctors will think there's some hope for us and maybe God will feel like being nice to us.

Well, a girl can dream.

I don't know what we're going to do this cycle. I am totally burned out on infertility treatments. I'm sick of it. And since our doctors told us last month that they really don't think there's any hope for us short of IVF...and so far they've been right...it just doesn't make me feel like spending a lot of time and emotional energy and money on another probably-pointless cycle of drugs and IUIs.

I don't know if not doing treatments will be any easier, emotionally, though. You know? It's like...will I feel better by not doing everything possible to get pregnant? I don't know. Sure, I hate going to the doctor so often for check ups and shots and ultrasounds and IUIs and whatever else, especially when I feel like (and my feelings have been completely correct up to this point) I'm throwing our hard-earned (and quickly fading) money away...but at least I feel like I'm doing something. If we take the no-assisted- reproductive- technology route this month, we have about a 100% chance of not getting pregnant again. We'd be banking on a miracle. And lately, to me, it just hasn't seemed like God's feeling too generous with the miracles.

If you need some inspiration and spiritual uplifting and optimism...I'm not your girl today. Try back next week. Sorry.

So...advice, thoughts, comments, prayers, cold hard cash...all of these I will gladly accept. Oh, and if you have a cute baby lying around that you'd like to get rid of...I promise I will be a good mommy. Call me.