the day which i shall not name

Well, it’s That Day again. Actually, I’m doing better than I would have thought. Maybe because I’ve really felt a lot of love and support from friends over the last few days (cards, texts, emails, etc.). Maybe it’s the grace of God. Maybe it’s because it’s still early, haha. But I am happy to report that I have not yet cried (today), so…thankful for small victories, right?! 

As anti-MD as I may be, I would be totally remiss to not recognize the love and dedication of my own two mothers. 

Both my mom and my mother-in-law (Mama Pat) are amazing and wonderful women and mothers, and I am so thankful for both of them in my life. When the day finally comes and I get to join the ranks of motherhood, I will be so thankful for the presence and wisdom of Mom and Mama Pat! Their love and support are priceless to me, especially these past few (sucky) years. 

Speaking of sucky… (do grownups even use that word? Other than me, of course?)

 Yesterday my bestie Amanda found that her recent shots/scans/more shots/supplements/IUI x2 cycle failed. Or as she put it, she started a $$$$$ period. I am brokenhearted for my friend…and such great timing, no? Truly, infertility knows no bounds of cruelty. MD is always hard when you’re battling infertility…but how much more so when the DAY BEFORE, you found out that your very lengthy, very scientific, very involved, very expensive, all-in fertility cycle failed? I am so sad (and angry, let’s be honest) for her…and if there were any justice in the world (well, we would both have toddlers, but let’s not dream THAT big…) I would be in Texas with her right now, buying her Blizzards and margaritas and keeping all pregnant women, small children, and insensitive jerks out of her line of sight…but alas, I am stuck in rainy Georgia. But my heart is with her. Take a minute and pray for her if you get a chance, please. 

Finally, a few MD or parenting-related food-for-thought articles/blogs I’ve come across the last few days. And by “come across,” I obviously mean someone posted them on Facebook or retweeted them on Twitter. I don’t actually come across meaningful things on my own…I just copy others! But these are really good, so you should read them. 

Where is the Mommy-war for the Motherless Child? -Rage Against Mini-Van 

Why I Hate Mother’s Day -Anne Lamott

Finally—this upcoming week, one of my favorite bloggers, E, Myself, and I, is going to be doing a special series called Letters to New Moms.

Each day will feature a different guest blogger…not sayin’ anything here, but…you might want to check it out! Who knows, there could be some REALLY AWESOME guest bloggers that you just might recognize!! Of course, if there were to be anyone you knew blogging there, I would probably give you a heads-up when the day came. But check it out every day anyway! 

I think that’s enough for now. Happy MD, all ye mothers of the world. But more importantly—to all my friends who are NOT mothers yet, though not for lack of trying—I love yall. You are in my thoughts and prayers today and every day. Thanks for being my soul sisters in a pretty crappy situation. I wish none of us were stuck in this place in life, but as long as we are…I’m glad we have each other.

hilarious. maybe.

 Sometimes I think that I'm basically the funniest person alive. But then I worry that I'm the only one that gets my jokes and appreciates them fully. It's a conundrum. Here are a few examples from yesterday.


After the gym and dinner, I threw on a t-shirt to go mow the lawn. Then I got chilly, so I threw on a fleece as well. 

As I passed by the mirror, I thought to myself, "Wow. Way to wear fifty shades of gray, Erika."

source

And then I almost had to die laughing. FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY??!!

OK, OK. So I haven't read it. But it's come up in conversation (both real life and bloggy) more than a few times lately, so obviously the title is lurking there, somewhere in my subconscious, just waiting to jump out and be an awesome joke. In my...head. That no one but me could appreciate. But now you can, too! So not all is lost.

At any rate, I'm not sure that that fine ensemble, multi-shaded gray though it may be, is the kind of thing the characters in those books are wearing. If, in fact, they're wearing clothes at all... ;) But it was perfect for what I was about to be doing, which was mowing the lawn.

And as I mowed, going around the backyard in an oval pattern, I found myself going faster and faster-- let's see how fast this puppy can go!!!! WOOOOO!!!! Pedal to the metal, girrrrrl!!!! And then I had a quick moment of revelation, and the revelation was this: You are making a race car face. Like the one little boys make when they're racing their matchbox cars. Or like when people ride in go-karts...actually going fast. You are substantially less mature than every other 29-year-old woman cutting their grass.

But I was also probably having more fun, so...whatever. This whole scenario also struck me as hilarious. But it also made me self-conscious, so I had to stop racing my lawnmower. Ugh. Lame.


PS. But before I became self-conscious about the lawnmower racing, it had occurred to me that I should ask my next-door-neighbor, who was also cutting her grass (the girl who gave me the shorts, remember?), if she wanted to race. Wouldn't that be AWESOME?!! Drag racing our lawnmowers? OK, next time we're both out there I'm totally going to maybe do it. If our husbands aren't out there. Because they might make fun. Oh, and also the elderly couple across the street who watch us 24/7. They will probably tell the rest of the neighborhood about it...but who cares, it would be so fun!! OK, but be honest-- if your neighbor asked you to race lawnmowers, would you? Would you say "no," even though secretly deep in your heart you wanted to? I need to see how this thing might play out...

do this today. preferably now.

Alright, kids. It's that time again-- the time where I tell you something really important that you need to go do right now, and then you go do it. So I hope you've got 3 minutes to spare, because that's how long it might take. And I hope you're reading this on your computer and not your phone, because it might take 3 HOURS to do this on your phone. So go get yourself situated. Don't worry, I'll wait.

OK. Now, I've talked about this before...if you don't believe me, go look. And some of you took my advice last time, and for that I thank you and applaud you. But as for the rest of you-- tsk, tsk. Either you completely ignored me, or maybe you didn't read my blog back then. Either way, I'll forgive you, because I'm magnanimous like that. But don't think I'll let you slide a second time.

ADD YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO YOUR BLOGGER PROFILE!!!!!

Could I possibly be any more emphatic about this point? No Yes, I could.

 ADD YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS TO YOUR BLOGGER PROFILE!!!!!



Now you're all ears, right??

Here's the thing: lately, yall have been leaving some really great comments and advice. Now, if your email address is linked to your profile, then when you comment, I'm able to hit "reply" and shoot an email back to you, responding to your question or comment or thanking you for a particularly hilarious suggestion...whatever. I'm able to respond!! But if your email is NOT linked, then when I hit 'reply,' YOU ARE NOT THERE. It will try to send the email to "noreply-comment@blogger.com", which means it goes nowhere, and that is a sad thing. So then I am stuck with this great reply or thank-you in my mind, but I'm unable to contact you. And THAT makes me a sadpants. And you don't want me to be a sadpants, do you? Right, that's what I thought. Now if I don't start seeing some people make some serious changes around here, I'm going to start naming names...because I feel really bad that some of you are such faithful and quality commenters, but I can't even talk back to you via email or reciprocate by leaving comments on your own blogs (either you don't have one, or it's not listed on your profile, or it's not been updated in 2 years...)...so help a sister out!

"But Erika, how do I do this thing that you speak of?"

I'll tell you. I'll even show you. But not by doing any actual legwork myself, because I'm too lazy and someone already made a perfectly excellent step-by-step (with pictures!!!) tutorial...so you can just go look there! Go here to see how to add your email address to your Blogger profile!

Okay, now I will quit yapping and leave you in peace to go amend your ways.

PS. Thanks for all the manatee love yesterday!! Glad to know I have some soul sisters out there...it seems like in my REAL LIFE, most people are abject manatee haters, and that is just WRONG. I hardly ever hear from people as passionate about the hands-down BEST ANIMAL EVER as I am, so it's nice to know you do exist and I'm not actually insane for feeling this way. Now I won't have to hesitate or be embarrassed to share the next time I find an amazing manatee video or picture. Woohooooooo!!!!! 
 

guess i'm moving to ft. lauderdale...

I think I've mentioned this before, but I really love manatees. Like really really. Like I beg Matt on a weekly basis to dig a saltwater pond in our backyard and get me a pet manatee. What kind of jerk husband is he that he hasn't rushed to do this yet? Beats me.


Anyway. I am content to spend hours of a beach trip manatee-searching. I consider it a great and successful trip if I can just barely see one...the top of their back, or a flip of a tail. 


If I ever saw something like what happens in this video in real life, I absolutely might just stroke out and die on the spot. I'm not sure my poor heart could handle the happiness.

You lucky, lucky people of Ft. Lauderdale. I'm so jealous of you I can almost taste it. You stupid hoggers of cute manatee moments.


Ft. Lauderdale is now on the top of my list of places to maybe move. I forgot to list it as one of my place-to-live must-haves, but obviously a happening manatee scene is of utmost importance. And the scene at this beach absolutely qualifies. 


Feel free to thank me for making your life better by sharing this video. Appropriate ways to express thanks include (but are not limited to): digging me a saltwater pond in the backyard and putting a manatee in it, giving me a large-denomination Sephora gift card, and buying me a house in Ft. Lauderdale. Thanks in advance for your cooperation.