what you're doing wrong: gym ed.

I consider myself an expert on quite a few things. Probably way more things than I should. But I mean, this is minor expertise. Like, lower-case e expert. I realize that on any given topic there are probably people with doctorate degrees and forty years of experience. Real Experts. I have neither of those in regards to anything on earth, so take my expertise on anything with a grain of salt. 

But for real now. I'm no vision of a physical specimen. But I'm pretty much an expert on what you should be doing at the gym. (If only I could also be an expert on How Not to Eat All the Cake in the Break Room...then you might actually take me seriously.) I've been a regular gym attendee for the better part of the last decade. I may not be a personal trainer or fitness class leader, but I think it's safe to say that I understand the essence of what most people should be doing at the gym. And I'm going to share it with you today. For free (*ahem*, personal trainers who charge a crap ton of money at my gym...pay attention here. PEOPLE LIKE FREE.)

How to Succeed at the Gym:

YOU SHOULD BE DOING SOMETHING.

Preferably, you should be doing something that you cannot or would not be doing while sitting on your couch at home.

Examples of things you should be doing at the gym: running, walking, stretching, picking up heavy things, jumping, cycling, dancing, holding your body in contorted poses, reaching, bending, skipping, sweating, pushing, punching, climbing. Choose one or 10...if you are doing any of these things while at the gym, you're fine by me. 

Now if all you ever do is walk, are you going to get huge muscles and defined abs? Probably not, but that's neither here nor there. I can't really help you get to your personal goal- I'm not a personal trainer. But if you're walking, you're meeting my personal standard of doing something you cannot do while sitting on your couch at home, and therefore you're meeting my standard for appropriate gym usage.

I feel like my standard here is reeeeeaally low. REAAALLLLLY attainable. If you are basically MOVING at the gym, you earn a high five from me.

You wanna know what does NOT earn a high five from me? And may even earn you an eye roll or sigh of disappointment?

This. Which I observe approximately 228 times a day at my gym.

Source

SITTING ON A MACHINE AND TEXTING!!!!!!!!

Are you kidding me, people? Really?? You're going to go to all the trouble of putting on workout clothes, driving across town, finding parking, locking up your bags, and then you're going to go TAKE UP VALUABLE MACHINE REAL ESTATE SO THAT YOU CAN TEXT AND CHECK FACEBOOK?!?! Is your couch at home broken??

If texting counted as working out, America would not have an obesity problem. So keep that in mind as you sit there not breaking a sweat, making tiny movements with your thumbs. YOU ARE NOT WORKING OUT. You need to go home.

I'm not judging everyone walking around with a phone. I'm one of them. I totally understand that you're listening to music and that you might have a panic attack at the thought of not being reachable for an entire hour. That's me, too. But occasionally glancing down to see if an incoming text or email is urgent, or starting and stopping the timer for your circuits, or skipping the 20th Pitbull song in a row to come on your Pandora station-- all which are totally fine things to be doing while still moving and working out-- takes about two seconds at a time. I'm judging you-- yes YOU-- sitting there for 10 minutes at a time, CLEARLY just texting for the fun of it, and NOT bothering to get up and let other people...you know, people who are actually trying to exercise...use the equipment you're hogging.

I'm thankful that my current gym is large enough and has enough equipment to accommodate both the textercising crowd and the rest of us...but seriously. It's still ridiculous. 

AND FURTHERMORE. If your idea of working out is showing up (in cute workout clothes, I'll give you that) with your sorority sistah and walking up and down the rows of machines, taking turns doing measly sets while you both text and converse as one of you does 12 reps of something and the other one watches/texts, then you switch...here's a news flash. You're basically not doing anything. You're burning like 2 calories. Doing 12 reps of a seated exercise (while pausing for a text break mid-set!!) and then having a five minute break before you do your next something? Your heart rate isn't up. You're not breaking a sweat. And so forgive me if I snicker as you two complain that you're not seeing the amazing results you'd anticipated getting out of your gym membership.

(I'm not judging anyone for not getting amazing results-- I mean, neither am I. But that's due to my aforementioned cake problem and the inability (or unwillingness, rather) to eat less than 5,000 calories a day. So I can pat myself on the back for doing it right at the gym...but I need someone to follow me around 24/7 and slap the desserts out of my hands.)

In conclusion, if you need a nice place to hang out and text for the next hour, I would recommend going to your couch, a coffee shop, a (parked) car, or a bench in a park. All of these places are totally great spots to park your derriere and let your thumbs fly across your screen at lightning speed. Plus, all of those places probably smell good. Leave the gym equipment for those of us pathetically trying to make amends for our eleven cupcake indiscretions today. Thanks!  

this weekend was a win

 It was a rather perfect weekend. I mean, I took like 10 whole pictures and none of them are even flowers, so you KNOW it had to be something special, right? Right.

Friday night's John Mark McMillan concert was amaaaazing.

As you can see, Cat and I were not at all excited to be there. Also, it's been quite some time since I've seen so many hipster guys concentrated in one location. I mean, for real. Bearded guys outnumbered (mostly unbearded) girls like 5 to 1. It was bizarre. Where was this scene back when I was on the man hunt?? Hmph. 

John Mark did an awesome job and it was a fun night of music and friends. We even stopped for Blizzards on our way back home. It was deemed medically necessary, since our throats were a little raw from the scream-singing and fog machines. I got Mint Oreo, because I'm incapable of getting anything other than Mint Oreo as long as Mint Oreo is on the menu. It's a problem.

We slept in on Saturday, which was Matt's birthday! Then he begged for like thirty minutes for me to make breakfast, and I finally gave in. But only just this once, for his birthday. Then we went on a nice long hike/walk on the trails and through to our town's downtown area. The weather was perfect and with all of the flowering trees in full bloom...it was a delightful walk.

After our legs were sufficiently tired, we ran a few errands and then found it necessary to recuperate on the porch of one of our favorite new restaurants, Taqueria Tsunami. This place has only been open for about a month, but somehow we've managed to make our way there every single weekend since it's been here. It's a gift, really.

I went with the Thai Chicken taco and the Rising Sun taco (here for descriptions) and I regret nothing. Oh, and the fried yucca, obviously. It is amazing.

After that we met up with Matt's family at the Botanical Gardens. We took in some more flowers and sun, which was not exactly torture. We spent the rest of the afternoon and evening celebrating the birthday boys- Matt and our BIL Tom, who got to enjoy two days of both being 31...and today Tom moves on to bigger and better numbers. ;) This means I also got to spend time with my favorite nephew Timmy!!

I'm trying to cherish my dwindling days of being able to refer to my one nephew and one niece as my 'favorite' nephew/niece. I can say it now because I only have one of each. But another niece will be joining the clan in the next month or two, meaning Carly's days of being favorite-and-only are numbered. And in the fall another something (sex TBD) will be joining in on the party, and so...yeah. Days of favorites are nearly done. Oh well. I'll have to come up with better adjectives or something. 

Yesterday was cloudy and cool...after church and lunch with the family, we indulged in a lovely multi-hour nap. And a lot of reading (I finished Red Rising and have moved on to this month's book club pick, This is Where I Leave You). And finished off the night with takeout pizza and three episodes of Breaking Bad. We just started watching BB this week...it's taken a few episodes to really get into it, but I think I'm starting to understand the appeal (I think we're through Episode 5 or 6 of Season 1).

Clearly it was a great weekend and if it had been an option at 6:17 this morning when my alarm went off, I'd have definitely picked to re-live the weekend instead of moving on to Monday. Sadly, it wasn't a choice, so here we are. Have a good day! 

currently...

I've never done one of these posts before (that I recall), but my friend Elise did it today and it seemed like a good idea to play along.

Currently, I am...

Listening... to John Mark McMillan's newest album, Borderland. We are going to his concert tonight and I am SUPER excited!

Eating... Surprisingly, nothing. There aren't very many minutes a day when I can honestly say that. BUT I have some amazing leftovers in the fridge (Pear & Gorgonzola pizza: sliced pear, mozzarella & gorgonzola, caramelized onions, topped with toasted walnuts...yes, I have the menu next to me and just copied the description) and it's only a matter of time before I dig in to that deliciousness.

Drinking... Coffee from home. Starbucks Breakfast Blend (used to be my favorite, before I discovered the Colombian blend...but I have to use it all up) with unsweetened vanilla almond milk. 

Wearing... 

What, you can't tell? I'm not the best fashion photographer EVER?? Hm.

Purple stripey silky tank top (with black cardigan currently...it's cold in my office), gray jeans, sandals (in black).

Feeling...  Kinda anxious, really. I can't really get in to the particulars, but...anxious.

Weather... Ha! Promise I didn't slide this one in, it was on Elise's list!! BUT since you asked...it's going to storm and rain today. But still be warm (77). I'm fine with this; I hope the rain washes some of the pollen away. But I'd like if it could be not raining while we're driving to and from the (out of town) concert.

Wanting... To get back to reading Red Rising. It's super good and I'm having trouble concentrating on anything other than reading it. Hence the lack of blogging and general socialization the past few days...

Needing... I still need to get yellow shoes for the wedding I'm in at the end of the month. It seemed like such a simple task, but I'm finding it surprisingly challenging to find what I need...

Thinking...  About what to get Matt for his birthday. Which is tomorrow. Wife of the year right here!

Enjoying... All the pretty flowers blooming everywhere. Shocking, right? I can't see any from my office, but I take obnoxious amounts of flower pictures on my phone and I like to scroll through them every ten minutes or so. What can I say? Seeing flowers makes me happy. Worse things could happen.

And with that, I must return to my book. And contemplating presents for Matt. Have a happy weekend!

perfection

Yesterday was perfection. A beautiful, wonderful, happy day. And the best part was that there was nothing inherently spectacular about it. I mean, I wasn't on vacation...it wasn't even a Saturday! There were no special trips or exciting plans...it was just a typical Tuesday work day. And yet it was the kind of day that made me want to take a million pictures and write down a play-by-play because in all of its ordinariness, it was a really perfect day. I don't want to take it for granted. And I want to remember that normal life with normal problems and living through a season of life where it can be easy to feel dissatisfied with everything...even in that, there can be really perfect days.

A few contributing factors to my Super Perfect Tuesday:

-Better-than-average eyeliner day.

Three different coworkers offered (unsolicited...as opposed to the clearly solicited-for compliments I received via Instagram, ha) compliments! One of them even said that she couldn't stop staring at my eye makeup during a meeting! I mean...I am absolutely vain enough that that totally made my day.

-The weather. I know, you're sick of hearing me blabber about the weather. But I am Weather Wifey-- I can't be stopped!!! It was 80!! It was sunny!! It was breezy!! It was 100% perfection, and even though I'm cooped up in my windowless office for 7 hours of the day, it's somehow more enjoyable just knowing how great it is outside.

-Due to the fabulous weather, our lunchtime walk was even greater than normal. I stopped for my first iced coffee (caramel macchiato, to be technical) of the year. ICED COFFEE!! SO WONDERFUL!!! There wasn't even a line at Starbucks!!

-Then we went and laid on a grassy North Campus (UGA) quad for a few minutes, along with about half the rest of the population of Athens. I mean, seriously. There couldn't have possibly been any students in classes yesterday. They were all (logically) swarming the quads...sunning, reading, playing Frisbee? Perfection. It was picturesque and made me incredibly thankful to work two blocks from the prettiest campus in the world (my humble opinion).

A girl in the sun with coffee. The picture of happiness.

-I got an email that the book I've had on hold at the library came in! So I went and got it! Yay for an eagerly anticipated book to read!

-We bought and planted our veggies!! I have declared that it cannot possibly freeze again, so we're safe to plant! So we did! And much happiness abounded.

-Speaking of things in the yard...our surprise pink tulips had another surprise in store for us. A bunch of yellow brethren springing up two weeks later than the pinks!! It's the funniest thing! I guess yellow ones require a little more marination time? The pinks have been up for two weeks, and all of a sudden we have 4 or 5 yellow ones pop up on the same day!

-I was so happy about the day that I was even excited to cook dinner-- and this has NOT happened in MONTHS. Normally I'm tolerant (at best) about cooking dinner...and this is with Matt doing most of the work, even!! But last night I was just so happy I volunteered to do it all on my own while Matt dug holes for the veggies...and it was SO GOOD! We're still doing eMeals and it is almost always good, but on a day like yesterday, it was only fitting that the meal be EXTRA SUPER GOOD. And it was.

It was a really ordinary day, but it was full of happy things. The next time I'm all woe is meeeee and hating life, someone remind me to come back and read this. Or actually, don't. I'll probably punch you. But maybe I'll remind myself. :)