Monday, November 9, 2009


I've decided I'm not as good at blogging when I'm not feeling optimistic. Generally I like to think of myself as a positive person. Lately, that's not always true. My job stresses me out. My lack of ability to get pregnant stresses me out. Being stressed...stresses me out. Stress makes work harder. Stress affects your ability to get pregnant. This is a vicious cycle. It's hard to find the silver lining sometimes. Sometimes, dangit, I don't even want to find the bright side. Often I'd rather be sad and bitter and bratty. And I guess that's okay, in moderation. But it doesn't really feel very me.

So I'm trying to hard to be the me I tend to act like I am. Does that make sense? I usually act like a happy person. Oh, except last week at work, when I cried in front of God and my bosses and coworkers and everyone pretty much all day every day. That was fun. Let's all just forget that happened, shall we? Let's focus on the good things in life. Let's think about the time last week that I walked into the dining room (where the back door is) and noticed the blinds looking like this:

Call me crazy, but I practically fell over laughing. I wonder how that happened?? How on earth could that little peep hole have appeared? What one foot high person could have wanted to look out that window?
She looks pretty guilty to me, folks. Guilty guilty guilty.

So last Saturday I had a yardsale with my across-the-street neighbors. Have I mentioned how much I love my neighbors? They're awesome. So the Shipleys are this couple in their 60s or 70s and they're pretty hilarious. MaryAnn had been saving up things for a yardsale for awhile and asked if I wanted to join in. I didn't have much stuff since we got rid of a ton of things prior to moving, but I found a few things I could bear to part with. So we sat out on the most bipolar November day in the history of time and had ourselves a little yard sale.

Ray and MaryAnn made fun of me all day because every time they turned around I'd changed clothes, but SERIOUSLY. OK when we went to set up at 8am it was in the mid-30s, so I was wearing jeans, boots, a fleece, and a heavy coat. As we sat out and the sun warmed us up, I gradually lost the coat and fleece. Then I went inside and swapped the boots for flip flops and the long sleeved tee for a 3/4 sleeved SCOOP-NECKED tee. The scoop neck ended up being a bad choice, FYI. Three hours later I'm burning alive in the jeans and go back in to dig out some shorts. Another hour or 3 passes and I realize my whole chest is beet red...thanks, scoop neck tee. Several people asked why I didn't apply sunscreen. Funny how that didn't really cross my mind when it was THIRTY DEGREES AND ICE COVERED MY FRONT LAWN that morning. Anyway, it may seem like I'm complaining, but really the weather was beautiful and I'm not a bit sad about getting a little tan to start my winter off with!! 8 hours of yardsaling later, I was $13 I don't think I'll be quitting my day job anytime soon. But I did have a lot of fun!

Have I mentioned my grandparents are coming for Thanksgiving? As in, COMING TO MY HOUSE!!! I am so incredibly excited. They will arrive on the Monday evening before Thanksgiving. I took off Tuesday & Wednesday so I will have lots of time with them before we head to Augusta to join my fam. In order to prepare myself for their arrival, I made a somewhat detailed list of things to do before they come. In case you're wondering what it's like to be me....this is it:

And don't worry, I went over every single task with Matt and pointed out the check-off boxes and made sure he understood it was a Family List and not just for me. :) I'm sure he is THRILLED that my grandparents are coming!

Last but not least...have I showed you pics of my piano yet? I think not. It's been fun having it around and I'm slowly figuring out how to incorporate it in my decorating. I got the big vase that's in the center of the shelf thing yesterday at Kohl's and made the stick bouquet all by myself! I think its cool and creative...if you disagree, keep your opinion to yourself. :) I'm focusing on the positive things, here!!
In case you can't tell, that upper surface (above where the music is sitting) is that's the wall behind me and the camera flash reflecting in the mirror. It was hard to get a good picture. Anyway, I'm still trying to decide what to put on the wall above the piano...but I thought the sticks did a good job of filling some space!
So these are some of the good and fun things going on in my life. Sometimes I have to just do a mental review like this to remind myself of all the things there are to be optimistical about. And yes, I add extra word parts to the end of words just because I feel like it. I think it adds a lot to the word, actually. Optimistical. I could even spell it optimystical and that would take it to a whole 'nother level. A level I'm not even sure I can handle, so we'll leave it as it was originally.
So what are you feeling optimistic about lately? Holidays? Getting a Christmas card from me? [note: that is a perfectly acceptable thing to be excited about] Coming over to help me check things off the "Nana and Poppie are Coming!!!!" list?? *hint, hint*


  1. Oh Erika, why were you crying?...Thank for your reciprocating blog and for trying to be positive even though no tienes ganas (that's spanish for: you don't feel like it! Add that to your list of, "en el mundo" and the other spanish words you still remember)...see I brightened up your day with a spanish fact...and btw I think everyone should move to TX instead of us moving to GA!

  2. Things I like:
    - that you're being honest about the less than awesome/stressful things going on
    - your new vase and sticks!
    - the word optimystical
    - that you tend to be optimistic in your blog. I tend to mostly feel like writing when things are wrong, although I try not to give in to this tendency.
    - that I get to see you back at our house for small group tomorrow!

    WV: dilatorc. This sounds like some sort of evil contraption that makes women in labor dilate faster. Yikes.

  3. I've cried at many a time at work before and one time I even yelled at and had a breakdown in front of my supervisor(my first Charlotte job that almost killed me). I didn't know I could stoop to such lows but then there I was...chewing out my boss. I like to think of myself as the picture of professionalism. Did I mention I made her cry? I made my supervisor cry. yep. sometimes the truth hurts, people. I should not have to tell you how to do your job. *breathe* in the past, in the past.

    I am optimistic about:

    - the holidays, eating holiday food,time w/ family and James
    - a new family friendly car (yay!)
    - the end of my current job, the start of a new one (nannying!)
    - my photography business.
    - oh yeah..and baby ofcourse.
    - that my baby will soon have a baby cousin in auntie erika's belly. (hey, I can be optimistic for you. takes some of the pressure off.)

    Oh and I love the piano and the vase and sticks. You are officially crafty.

  4. Your blog is one of my favorites.

    P.S. Your house/neighborhood looks great!
    P.P.S. Your to-do list is fabulous.
    P.P.S. Props on the cool vase arrangement.

  5. 1. i love how honest you are
    2. it is refreshing--this is part of one, but i had already typed 2 and didn't want to go back...
    3. my job stresses me out too...something out clarke county i suppose...
    4. i am also excited about the holidays and having time off work!!!!!!!!!!!
    5. i cry at work atleast once a week as shame in that!!!
    6. praying for you to be pregnant!!
    7. you're much better at blogging than i am...i will get better at it one of these days...

  6. thanks for being REAL, erika. i know a lot of times i keep my stress to myself so people think i have it together, but it's refreshing to remember that we all struggle at times and it's a part of life.

    great use of the term bipolar! i hate when people say schizophrenic in a similar context b/c it's really inaccurate! (silly pet peeve, i know...we all have our hangups.)

    i really like your stick bouquet. did you buy the actual sticks or collect them?

    i'm optimistic about:
    1) getting better at my job as i gain experience b/c some days i don't feel like i know what i'm doing!
    2) wearing the new black shoes tomorrow that i bought today on my veteran's wednesday off.
    3) trying to grow in my walk with Christ
    4) holidays and everything that comes with them
    5) snuggling with my little family: chris & eva

    erika, i think you've facilitated something very therapeutic here for all your readers!

  7. okay, i know that it's so difficult sometimes to see the 'silver lining' - i am proud of you for trying! here's the honest truth: i've been thinking about you a lot lately. i know it's got to be difficult having the "normal" stress of life, plus trying to get pregnant and not having that work out like you think it should. truth be told, i'm not much of a prayer, but the other day when i read this, i prayed for you. i know God has a plan for you and your baby-to-be. i love you and i miss you... i have a great idea for taking some stress off, come visit me and leah in greenville!

    i'm optimistic about (or trying to be):
    - the fact that even though i lost my job, now i have the chance to find a better one!
    - getting to spend lots of time with sweet leah.
    - scott and i have been having lots of issues - hoping now that my "life changes" will influence that situation in a positive way.
    - greek yogurt. amazing stuff.
    - i've lost another pound this week and only have seven to go to get to pre-preggo weight!
    - the brownies i made yesterday. they're fab. (with peanut butter chips and lots of fudge icing on top.)


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