the truth about my purse

 Alright friends. You can quit your frantic calculating and psychological deductions. The "guess how many lip products are in my purse" contest is about to be over. So is all the mystery (haha) surrounding just which fascinating objects I choose to weigh down my shoulder with on a daily basis. 

Please note: if you're new here, please skip this post. I beg you. This is ridiculously vain and silly even for me and I'd hate for you to walk away thinking that I actually think people care about what's in my purse. Ha. Save yourself! Come back tomorrow, when I'm sure I'll have something much deeper and more important to ramble about. Or...probably not, but one can hope. 

I explained yesterday that I've seen people doing these 'what's in my bag' things on Instagram. It inspired me. That probably says something about me as a person, actually. But let's not delve into that too deeply, shall we?

Onto my purse!

I've been carrying this bag for pretty much the last year. I love it. It's a lot smaller than most of my other bags and so I tell myself that that means I'll carry less, therefore it will weigh less, therefore I won't exacerbate my neck and back pain. It's a nice theory, but as most people who have actually tried lifting my purse can attest-- it hasn't really worked out. I'm not sure how or why, but this purse still weighs like 50 pounds. (Not really, but I don't have a scale handy to come up with a more accurate figure) Since you're about to see that there really isn't all that much IN it, I can only assume that the leather is heavy. SCIENCE. You can't argue with that, folks.

I should also probably state that this is really a nearly best-case scenario today. I greatly cleaned out and pared down the contents of the purse before our trip to Texas a few weeks ago. There was probably at least 30% more crap (primarily gum wrappers and...lip products, yes.) before the Great Clean Out. 

An aerial view. It might look like a mess, but I promise things are really quite organized. I can locate anything I need within 10 seconds- blindfolded. Promise.

Here's a bird's-eye view of the whole shebang. See? This doesn't seem so bad. Don't worry, we'll go deeper now.

 

Some obvious purse non-negotiables: my Kindle, sunglasses, wallet, and a penny. Because I like to flaunt my wealth.

Two packs of gum (watermelon and original bubblegum flavor...a girl needs variety!) and some TicTacs that were in my stocking at Christmas. Obviously I don't really ever eat them, but...where else do you put TicTacs? Also some concealer (and its accompanying receipt) that I'm going to return at Ulta. I forgot to stop the other day, so...they're still traveling around with me. Also that's the corner of my planner. The papers inside are a) a copy of our 2014 budget...you never know when you'll need to reference it!!...and b) some concert tickets.

All of this stuff above goes in the big inside pocket of the purse. Pens (alright, seven is probably excessive. After the photo shoot, when I put stuff back into the purse, I moved three pens to my desk pen holder. Four should be sufficient for the bag.), a flash drive, a mini hairbrush (that's the purple circle thing), my inhaler, a comb, a few hair things, keys, and a few lip products: two Baby Lipses (hate that name AND the pluralization) and an eos balm. 

And my keys. 

So far so good, right?? Only three lip things?! I'm normal!!

Oh wait, no.

The little bag. Guess what that bag is?

My beloved LIP GLOSS BAG!!!!!!!!! Wanna see what's inside?

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Really, this brings a tear to my eye. Is there anything more heartwarming than a lovely array of pinky-red products for your kisser? I think not. Sunsets and puppies be damned!

As you can probably tell, I like to buy my lip products in gift sets. That helps me avoid having to make hard in-store decisions about colors. JUST GET ALL THE COLORS!!! Problem solved. The nineteen lip products in my Lip Gloss Bag are those deemed most essential and most likely to be needed in the course of a day. Trust me, there are plenty more at home. Sometimes I change them out...like when I fall in love with a new product and get 20 of it, of course. Also in the Lip Gloss Bag: a few bandaids, some cough drops, foldable scissors, and a hair clip. Nothing but the health and beauty essentials! 

This one's a framer. Dang. And in case you're wondering what my current favorite lip product is, not shockingly I'm going to go with the tarte LipSurgence. I LOVE THEM.

So let's do the math, people. Nineteen lip products in the designated bag (isn't that smart of me? So they're not all floating around, losing their lids and painting my purse red...) plus three out in the General Purse Population means that there are currently 22 lip products in my purse. The winning guess goes to Amanda J (she guessed 23), which is not altogether surprising. I would give her a grand prize in the form of a lip product, but since I believe she only uses clear chapstick, I think this amazing prize would be lost on her. I'd hate to waste my money like that, so I think that instead I'll just buy myself a new lipgloss in her honor. The Amanda Joiner Honorary Lip Gloss. Everybody wins!!!

Thanks for playing along, friends. And also thanks to all the people who guessed I might only have like 4-8 products in my purse. It blesses me that you think I have that much self-control. Now yall can start planning your Purse Intervention or something. Have fun!