Wednesday, April 6, 2011

the humiliation

Well, let's just get to it. The people have spoken, and the people are mean

You want embarrassing middle school pictures? You'll get 'em. In case you thought the lateness of this post meant I was punking out on my Way Back When-sday promises...it doesn't. It means that I just spent an hour upstairs in the poorly-lit attic (which entailed a climb up AND down the Attic Stairs of Death, which I SURVIVED!!!) digging through tubs of loose photos, photo albums, and the like, searching for The Worst Middle School Pictures Ever. And after finally narrowing it down to like 200, then I had to scan them.

You're welcome. It's not like I had anything better to do with my night, anyway.

So, let's just jump right in. In true Erika-fashion, I'll be sure to over-narrate and over-describe every single picture as we go. Lucky you!
 We'll kick things off with a sixth grade trip to the zoo. I remember crawling inside some sort of porthole-type thing for this amazingly flattering photo. Don't you like how it squishes my thighs in a most unflattering fashion? Other things to note: my awesome Limited Too outfit (a recurring theme you will soon notice), my awesome bangs (I think I was trying to grow SOME of them out at this point, so as to achieve a more desirable volume of bang), and um...did I always wear my shorts that high? Was it a special treat just for this picture? Who knows.

 OK, this is definitely not proper chronological order because the above picture was definitely from band camp the summer before 9th grade. Cool Point #1: it was at band camp, a place I spent pretty much every available moment every summer between 6th and 12th grades. Also, I was clearly an awesome dancer. My friend was also in this picture, but I did her the favor of cropping her out because I wouldn't want her to key my car at our 10 year reunion this summer. So. Overalls, dance moves, band camp...well, at least my bangs finally grew out!
 
 Moving back in time to the summer before 8th grade, where I spent the summer at Wilderness Survival camp (run by BYU) in Wyoming. Apparently knowing how to shoot a black powder rifle is essential to survival. As are tapered jeans. Matt exhibited some glee a few moments ago when he informed me that "those jeans are just like the ones I used to wear that you made me get rid of!" as though that somehow vindicates him of making Bad Fashion Choices. The difference, dear Mattie, is that I quit wearing mine in 8th grade, whereas you were enjoying yours well into your post-collegiate career. Score Erika!


 This pic is a little distant, but the adorable puppies far outweighed that fact. This is in my backyard, circa...middle school (check the bangs for proof)...and here I am chilling with one of our litters of puppies! (We bred a few litters of Miniature Schnauzers) 


 Let's see. Perm, bangs, sweet new kicks...a glimpse at the beginnings of my interior decorating talent...yup, this picture has it all. Enjoy. Particularly the awesome wall adornings.


 And finally, I bring you a fashion show right before 6th grade started. Here you will see me (I'm the mammoth one, despite being YOUNGER than almost everyone in the picture) rocking yet another fashionable Limited Too outfit...as are my friends. Did anyone else have the privilege of wearing all these matchy-matchy frocks?? Good times, I tell ya. But God forbid your tulip shirt be dirty when your tulip shorts were calling your name...FAUX PAS if you subbed in that pansy shirt!


 Just in case I was being overshadowed by my fashionable friends, here I am in all my solo glory. Note the pink socks and brand-spankin-new (off-brand) Keds.


And here's a picture from a NEWSPAPER ARTICLE I was featured in in 8th grade. The article was about babysitting, and somehow I was the front page girl for the article and photo shoot. The pic was too big to scan the whole thing, but you get the gist. I remember LABORING over the outfit choice for my big newspaper debut...I think it was a good choice. White jeans? Always classy. Note: in the article, it states that I charge $3 an hour for babysitting. Ah, the good old days. Friends with kids: how many days a week would you hire babysitters if they still charged only $3/hr??! No wonder I babysat all the time!! I was a friggin steal!!

That's all the pictures I'm going to torture you with for now. I hope your deep need to see me embarrassed has been fulfilled. Next week, I don't know what it's going to be, but I promise it's going to be flattering.

And in other news, I actually DID have a very fun, friend-filled weekend that featured a surprising amount of cross-dressing and over-sharing...since I have no pictures of my own, feel free to check out Amanda and Mollyanne's recaps of last weekend...and enjoy!

Please, friends. Join in the party and post your own embarrassing picture or two. Or at least TELL me you have pictures as horrid as what you've seen here. WHY was middle school so awkward??! Why?!?!

10 comments:

  1. wow.

    I had the pansy limited too outfit.
    but my favorite items for Ltd2 = bodysuits.

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  2. Limited Too was all the rage back then! Loved it.

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  3. I'm so sad- we didn't have Limited Too in our neck of the woods! Anybody heard of County Seat?? I think you should decorate with more horses..

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  4. Woohoo! I totally had the tulip shirt! And the rose one. Limited too rules!

    Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

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  5. ha...thought i recognized the air conditioning vent in the second picture...and just remember you could get 3+ gallons of gas for $3 back then.

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  6. I love this post. I really, really love it.

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  7. My favorite Limited Too outfit was a shirt/shorts combo. The stripes were horizontal on one piece and vertical on the other. Hilarious! I also let parents decide how much to pay me, which usually worked in my favor. LOL

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  8. These are the pictures that made Matt fall in love with you- admit it! Oh Limited Too...good times. Thanks for sharing!

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  9. This is too funny! You know you're styling when your shorts match your top. :)

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  10. FYI... I'm reading this and laughing OUTLOUD while Big A plays his video game and shoots me dirty looks for disabling his ability to hear his game

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