Tuesday, October 2, 2012

500 stories later

So...we made it! My 500th post on this here blog! I would say that I'm shocked or surprised I made it this long, but that would pretty much be a lie. I love blogging. So why would I ever have stopped?

I don't have anything super special or magical to commemorate the day with...just some things I've been ruminating on over the past few days. Ya know, sentimental stuff. Things like I love yall sooooo much and I couldn't have made it these last few years without you!!! Both true statements, but both super cheesy. That's why I made them italicized. To take the edge off the cheese-factor. Did it work?

So I started this blog back in February of 2008. I didn't have much of a goal or "purpose statement" in mind when I started, other than to be less of a creepy blog-stalker and maybe to keep up with friends better. So I guess that I've accomplished those goals. I was a pretty slack blogger in 2008, but in January of 2009 I turned a new leaf and vowed to blog more regularly. Ya know, so that I would be in the habit of it by the time I started popping out kids, which was bound to be any minute.

Apparently I wasn't psychic back in 2009. Or now, for that matter.

To say that blogging has more often than not been the thing holding me afloat as I've navigated the storms of infertility these last 4 years would be an understatement. (Super cheesy metaphor? CHECK!) The ability to selfishly pour out my guts here and receive nothing but support and acceptance, love and encouragement, friends old and new willing to battle in the trenches with me...those things have saved me. Because in real life, I'm just not much of a talker or a sharer. So I don't know-- maybe, if I were more open in real life, I would receive a similar response. But I just kinda doubt it. And I kinda don't care to find out. Bearing my soul in "real life" is intimidating and exhausting to me. Bearing my soul here feels like coming home.

So while I may have embarked on this bloggy journey thinking only of sharing tidbits and anecdotes about our lives and family, it's ended up being something much bigger (and more therapeutic). And while there's a piece of me that wishes my life had gone according to my plan and this blog was a full-out mommy blog by now...well, obviously that's just not what happened. But maybe it's for a reason.

I'm usually hard-pressed to find any of the proverbial "reason" well-meaning people keep insisting this infertility is happening for (did that sentence even make sense?? I ended with a dangling preposition. Oh well). Maybe someday one will become clear. But I will admit that over the past year or so, I've started to feel encouraged that at least there's some purpose emerging for this aspect of my life-- blogging. Yall. The connections I've made with other women traveling this road have been unbelievable to me. Yall started coming out of the woodwork during this last year, sending me the sweetest and most vulnerable emails. Some of you didn't know anyone in real life that you felt like you could talk to, but that for some reason you found me here and felt like you could connect. And then you didn't feel so alone anymore. Some of you asked for advice. Some of you just wanted to tell your stories. Some of you seemed relieved and validated that you weren't the only one thinking these things. And all of a sudden I started feeling like maybe good will come out of this crappy stage of life-- a "good" that's better than just babies. I mean, I don't even know what that good could be...but to think that God could use my lame little blog to connect women who are in an extremely lonely and isolating stage of life? That feels really good. Because being part of a community-- even if it isn't in a physical sense-- where you feel like you belong, where you can share openly...dude, you can't put a price tag on that.

So I guess what I wanted to say was thanks. Thanks for sticking around for all 500 of these long and rambling posts. Thanks for being my "community"-- whether you've personally experienced infertility or not, you have all been so encouraging and supportive...I really don't know what I'd have done without you. Probably be locked in a glass case of emotion (name that film!). You have no idea how many times your words of support and prayer have pulled me up and helped me to focus on hope and truth. 

I feel like you're supposed to set some sort of "blog goals" or something when you reach such an illustrious milestone as this, but I'm not really sure what mine should be. Other than to be more popular (and rich) than Pioneer Woman, of course. I guess that for my next 500 posts, I'll just be hoping that yall will continue journeying with me, sharing your own lives and hopes and trials and joys as we go. Thanks so much for giving me a place to vent and a (virtual) shoulder to cry on. Yall are seriously the best.

PS. I'd like to recognize Jenny for being my FIRST COMMENTER EVER back in 2008. There should be a serious prize for that, but in lieu of that, I'll just say that I am seriously so thankful for your friendship and support over these years. Happy 30th!!

16 comments:

  1. You were the first blogger I started following and I remember thinking, "This girl is amazing. She can make me laugh hysterically and sob huge tears and I don't even know her!" That still holds true, by the way. You and your blog are what got me blogging! My husband even asks about you and Matt (yes, by name)to find out what's going on and how you both are. Although I hate that I found you through our common IF thread, I am so glad to know you in the blog world. I'm waiting for your story to take a sudden turn in the direction you want and will continue following as long as you are writing!

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  2. I shall follow The Bird's sentimental comment with one much less meaningful: yay Erika and yay blogging!

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  3. first E's post and now this? I'm a teary mess thanks to you. Words cannot tell you how much I enjoy your witty posts and how happy and human you make me on a regular basis. To infinity posts and beyond!

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  4. raising my glass in a toast of "cheers" to you and on reaching this milestone.

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  5. I'll agree whole-heartedly with The Bird! The first night I found your blog, I read for like 3 hours straight and I laughed so hard I cried! I kept reading parts to my husband thinking, "YES! This is EXACTLY how I feel" and hoping he'd "get me" more. He didn't and probably thinks I'm uber weird when I share details of your life, but hey, I love it! Thanks for sharing and here's to another 500!

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  6. Thank you for the fun and entertainment you have given us for 500 awesome entries! Personally I look forward to each new one. Keep writing, posting recipes, taking pictures and making us laugh! Oh and name that film: Anchorman. Right? :-)

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  7. Obviously I'm glad you started that blog back in 2008 because it brought me (2 years later) a new BFF! I really wish I could remember how we found each other, but I guess that's not the important part. Thank you for always being honest and helping give infertility a voice!

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  8. I'm so glad that you found a place where you're comfortable sharing. And that it turned out to be a place where you could encourage others too. Happy 500th!

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  9. Happy 500th! I just looked and I'm at 455! Crazy! And I have loved reading your blog posts for a long time. You make me laugh, cry, think and everything in between. And while infertility is never good, I'm so glad that you are able to reach out to others and inspire them. And in turn, inspire people like me who aren't there yet. So thank YOU. I can't wait to see what the next 500 posts brings.

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  10. Congrats on your 500th Post!!

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  11. I was going to comment last night but I was reading on my phone, but it was too hard to type through blurry / teary eyes! What a touching post. Like many have said, when I found your blog I must have read for HOURS and found real comfort in your honesty, your strength, and your humor through such a tough situation! You were also the first person I randomly stalked and 'fessed up to, and I'm so glad you didn't say "leave me alone, crazy woman!" I hate what brought me to your blog, but pray every day that - very soon - we'll see some of those mommy posts you've been hoping and praying for!!

    Happy 500th post!!

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  12. 500 posts is quite the accomplishment! I am impressed! As someone who is blessed not to have struggled with infertility, it is enormously helpful to have a window into your thoughts and emotions to allow me to be more supportive and loving to those I know who do face that struggle. Sometimes I find that I wish I knew better what to say or do.

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  13. Ok so "glass cage of emotion" is Will Ferrel in Anchorman (Best Movie Ever!) And congratulations on 500 fabulous posts! Now Where exactly are those margaritas?! Honestly, THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH for being open and honest, sharing so much of your life, the good and bad, and being a constant source of comfort and joy in my life through this blog. You are the reason I started my own IF blog because for a while I thought I was the only one. Turns out there are, in fact, a few of us. Thank you for giving us a voice! Love ya!

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  14. Such a sweet post. You have been such an encouragement and a source of comedic relief. :) It's awesome how many new friends you have made through this let alone how many lives you have touched of people who may never comment. Love you, friend!

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  15. Happy 500th! I hadn't posted a comment yet because I thought it needed to be worthy of post 500 but I can't think of anything worthy to say. I'm just happy I found your blog. Your writing has drawn me in from when I started reading you and you have made me think about infertility in a whole different way. And while I wish (and pray) with you that this was already a mommy-blog, I'm so glad you've kept on writing. Thank you.

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