people are funny

Today I came across a few things on the internet that made me laugh so hard I cried. And then I found something that was so touching and happy, it made me cry, too. So basically, no matter what in life I hear/think/see/do, I end up crying. Mascara is never safe with me. Annoying.

But right now I'm going to share a few of the positive tear-inducing things I came across. Because I know everyone needs a good laugh.

So you already know that one of the best things about the internet is that you can research ANYTHING before you buy it. And the best source of information for said research is customer reviews, because CUSTOMERS can be trusted. COMPANIES cannot. Since I spend about 90% of my free time downloading and reading books, I consequently spend a lot of time reading book reviews on Amazon. Most of them are helpful and informative, if a bit boring. But sometimes...sometimes they are not.

Today a friend pointed me in the direction of some hands-down FREAKIN HILARIOUS customer reviews on Amazon. And then I found some more on my own. And then I laughed until I cried. And I felt happy knowing that there are such funny people on this planet. And I hope I can meet them all someday. Or at least find more things that they wrote. So here's what you need to do. Go to the following product pages and READ A FEW REVIEWS. And enjoy.

First and foremost, please go read all about the Hutzler Banana Slicer.

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 I know, what could possibly be funny about a banana slicer? I'll tell you: a lot. Just trust me.


Next, you may find yourself wanting to purchase a book entitled How To Avoid Huge Ships.

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Because I don't know how you've even made it this far in life without the knowledge that this book contains. Seriously. According to many commenters, Captain Trimmer's authoritative tome on the topic has timely and relevant information, although many lamented that they didn't read this book until it was too late.

Afterwards, feel free to peruse Bic Cristal for Her pens.

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And...I'm just going to entice you with a simple screenshot-sample of the amazing reviews this product garnered:

Yes, so, basically...if you are a company busy creating a ridiculous product, don't think you're going to get away with it unscathed. Also, People of the World: Writing funny/sarcastic reviews is a FAR PREFERABLE way to express your disdain for something than like...getting all political, boycotting, or otherwise acting obnoxious. Let's use that energy for something positive, like writing hilarious fake reviews. Thanks.

And finally, the one kind of story/video that guarantees to make me cry happy tears 100% of the time: a surprise military homecoming. This one happened to occur at the (otherwise awful) Georgia-South Carolina football game last weekend. At least something good came out of that hot mess of a game.

Soldier Surprises Family at South Carolina Football Game

With that, I can sign off feeling like I have positively contributed to the world today. Go forth and enjoy! (And be sure to share any other hilarious reviews you've come across. I really don't get tired of them.)