save the drama for yo' mama

Alright. I guess I should preface this rant with a disclaimer. In case you aren't already aware:   I don't like politics. I don't like thinking about politics. I don't like talking about politics. I occasionally read something about politics, mainly so that I can understand whatever memes are floating around the internet. But on my list of Things I Care About In Life...politics doesn't even like...make the list. Now don't get me wrong-- certain issues make that list. But I'm talking about the whole big-picture party/candidates/debates/fighting/right-wrong politics monster. That I have no affection and very little tolerance for. As if you didn't know.

So you know what REALLY drives me crazy?

People who care too much about politics.

Like the way Michael Scott cares too much about people? Some people care too much about politics. And here's the gold standard for measuring whether someone cares too much about politics:

If they have ever said "if ______ wins the election, I'm leaving the country."

That statement? It infuriates me. And you know what I would like to say to those people?

PLEASE DO. 

Because I don't need your drama here. I don't need your bad attitude, and I certainly don't need your negativity clouding the air I have to breathe. Or my newsfeed. So by all means-- if that guy wins? LEEEEEAVE!!! As a bonus, if you and all your fellow caring-too-much, overly dramatic cronies leave, that will free up some jobs and opportunities for the rest of us. You know, those of us willing to stick around and deal with life even when it isn't measuring up to our personal perfect standards. Those of us who don't base our entire identities on who sits in the White House. Us.

But while you're packing your bags, I have a quick question for you. 

Where exactly are you going? I mean, what country is it that more closely aligns itself with your personal political, social, moral, and economic ideals? Where is this mythical land where everyone believes the exact same things that you do, where no one dares to offer an alternate opinion, where each and every leader epitomizes your obviously-correct standards for everything? Where the job market, housing market, and healthcare options are exactly to your liking? Please tell me, because surely this place exists...because this is what you're implying when you roll your eyes, sigh in disgust, and declare that if ____ wins, I'm leaving.

And not to be rude, but it makes you sound like a sore loser and a dumbass. 

So with that, sore loser, I bid you farewell. Enjoy wherever it is you're going...we certainly won't miss your drama and hate here.