justified, part II

First of all- thanks for all the expert advice, support, and enthusiasm about my bold proclamation yesterday. Ha. I appreciate that you can be so enthusiastic even knowing I'll probably forget all about this in another week or two! But for the time being, your excitement propelled me to do some more 'training' yesterday (Thursday! A day I normally do NOT work out!) and to keep running even when I was sore...so...progress, I'd say. Not sure if I'm going to be happy for the accountability or regret talking about any of this very quickly! Such is the nature of blogging, I suppose. 

So anyway. I need to share another story of justification with you. Please recall my lifelong mortal fear of birds. Something many people like to mock, and nicer people choose to just accept...but surprisingly few people share my fear. So whenever I have a chance, I like to present compelling evidence (such as this) that I AM RIGHT AND JUSTIFIED in my fear, and the rest of you are being foolish.

This happened yesterday:

I kid you not. Bird attack. In my own parking lot. To one of my favorite people.

Here's how it went down.

Diana, who just returned from 10 days in Bali (I know, it's okay to hate her a little), was returning to work from a dentist appointment. I found this out when she sprinted into my office like her clothes were on fire. She was shaking. She was wide-eyed. She was acting surprisingly un-jetlagged. She couldn't get her words straight.

"A BIRD!!!! IN THE PARKING LOT!! A BIRD JUST...ATTACKED ME!!!!" 

You might think I would freak out. That's probably what she was expecting, knowing my track record of Bird Fear. But I did not. Because when the thing you expect happens...well, it's what you expect. It's not surprising. You might be surprised, however, to hear that I immediately correctly guessed WHICH bird it was.

"Was it that bird that lives in the bush in front of my parking spot?"

"YES!"

"Yeah, I figured. That bird is extra scary. I always suspected it would come to this."

True story. Some mornings I have to sit in the car for several extra minutes until the bird and I reach an agreement that I can exit my car, run into the building, and then he can go back to his aggressive patrol of the bush. I hate that bird.

And apparently that bird hates Diana, which is why for no good reason at all he decided to FLY AT HER and PECK HER ARM. I am not kidding. She had peck marks on her cardigan to prove it.

I hate that it happened to Diana, but a tiny part of me loves being proven right. Okay, a huge part of me. I AM RIGHT, DAMMIT! BIRDS ARE EVIL!! I wanted to call everyone who's ever mocked me and tell them. But I hate talking on the phone, so I figured blogging about it would be the more efficient way of getting the news out.

Naturally I told Matt all about it. He pretty much laughed it off, like getting attacked wasn't a traumatizing experience for Diana, or like I was probably exaggerating the whole thing. This morning we found ourselves a new parking spot. I have no need to prove my dominance to that bird. He can have that spot. After we parked, with no birds in sight, I sprinted into my building. As I looked out the door to see Matt walking across the parking lot to cross the street to his office, what do I see? That same evil bird, crossing into Matt's personal No Fly Zone. I saw the fear flash in his eyes as the bird came squawking up next to him. It didn't touch him. But it came close. And through the glass doors I yelled "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"

I love being right.

EDIT: At approximately 9:00 a.m. my co-worker Katherine arrived at work, parked in The Spot, and was subsequently attacked by the bird. As of approximately 9:03 a.m. we were plotting our Threat Removal Plan, to be implemented immediately.