Master Plan success!

 Well, I'm back.

It was a long and glorious weekend loving on my new niece (and my brother and sister-in-law, too). I was none too happy to have to kiss her sweet head goodbye this afternoon, but I can guarantee that my trips home will be MUCH more frequent now than they have been for the last few years. A sweet baby to love on is about as compelling a reason to drive home as I've ever had, so I don' t imagine it will be too long before we hit the road to head back for more baby loving. Jake, my brother, estimated that I wouldn't make it til Wednesday, but I think I'll stay strong a little longer than that...maybe.

I've got some pictures for ya today, at least. Jake's holding a firm line on the 'no Facebook' picture ruling, which I am happy to respect, even though he didn't explain why and also stated that he might change his mind in the future. I asked whether I could pretty please put pictures on my blog and Instagram, though, because my friends were dying to see my new niece. He had no idea what a blog or Instagram was, and no time or desire to figure it out, so he sorta said 'okay, fine,' as long as blogs and Instagrams aren't 'like Facebook,' and left it at that. So that's where we are, but if he changes his mind and issues me a cease-and-desist, then I hope you'll hold these pictures in your memories for all the days to come. Cause my niece is CUTE!

Meet Carley Anne.

This is the dress that Emily, my sister-in-law, wore home from the hospital when SHE was born!

Matt and I visited them in the hospital on Friday morning and afternoon and then helped them pack up and head home. I mostly helped by holding the baby, obviously, and offering my expert advice whenever asked (or not asked). And I hauled a few loads of pink loot about a million miles to their car in the parking deck. And I kept track of what crap went where when we packed up the room so that later I knew where 'that piece of paper with such and such' and 'that thingy the nurse gave us' were located. This was Stage 1 (Make Yourself Useful) of my Master Plan: Hold The Baby The Most. It went swimmingly.

While Matt fetched their car and pulled it around, I videotaped our entourage leaving the hospital. This was Stage 2: Get All The Good Photos & Videos So That They Won't Want You To Leave. Once we were loading Carley into the car and discussing our transportation arrangements, Emily realized that she couldn't crawl up and over across the back seat of their (huge) SUV to sit with Carley.

 [Rabbit trail: Emily had FOURTEEN STAPLES from her c-section. In addition to the internal stitches and what-not. I'm not sure what's standard these days, but that seemed a little insane. I asked Jake how long her scar was and he holds his hands out about 18 inches apart. And swears he's not lying. But then later on he changes his story and says that the doctors actually had to use the 'pumpkin method' to get Carley out...you know, cut a big circle, pick up her skin, yank Carley out, replace the skin-circle, and stitch? OK, sorry, that's disgusting, but we almost died laughing. So I'm not sure which story is true, but either way, Emily was in a crap-ton of pain from it, and in no condition to be sliding across back seats or doing any sort of movement at all.]

Ever the helpful aunt, I volunteered to sit in the backseat with Carley and make sure she was okay on the way home. This selfless act was well-received by all and I silently congratulated myself for scoring this important job.
 

That's right, suckas-- I'm the one riding with her on her first car ride! BOOM!

 After the slowest and most careful drive of Jake's life, we finally made it to their house. This was when I moved into Stage 3: Make It Seem Like You're Doing Them A Favor.

Emily was exhausted and in pain. She needed to sleep in her own bed. Jake was tired and had loads of sporting events to catch up on. He needed to focus on that. Carley was doing what she does best: sleeping and being cute. I could pretty much handle that on my own. So I made it perfectly clear that everyone was welcome to sleep and I would take care of the baby.

And so they did and I did. And they thanked me for helping them. HAHAHAHAHAHA. No, really. It was excruciating...

I'm not sure if Carley is normal or not, but here's all she does: sleep. She eats about every 4.5 hours, and then she just sleeps some more. She doesn't cry. She doesn't open her eyes. She doesn't fuss. She just sleeps. And does cute little wiggles while she's sleeping. And grasps onto your fingers if you stick them near hers. It's pretty awesome. She seriously doesn't cry. And she has no need for that eat-every-2-hours nonsense most babies apparently need. I guess this is a benefit of weighing over 10 pounds at birth? Who knows. Who knows if it will last, either...heh heh...but it lasted for the 3 days I was there, so that's really all that matters, right? I mean, I think that even Jake and Emily were rather astonished by how easy she is and how little she wakes up during the night.

 So this is basically what we did for three days. Hang out on the couch, pass the baby around, maybe go sit outside for awhile (babies need to tan, you know!)...poke at her and try to wake her up...marvel at how she will make really mean baby faces but never cry...it's pretty awesome.

On Saturday I decided to have a photo shoot with her. Jake and Emily were sleeping, I was in charge, and I decided to put some of the trillions of clothes in her closet to good use before she grew out of them. This was my first newborn photo shoot and I must say, it was pretty awesome. Pretty much she just stayed stuck however I set her, so it was really easy. We did this shoot on their dining table on the covered porch outside.

 I actually got tons of good pictures (Emily cried when she saw them later. SCORE!!) but it takes too long to resize and upload them here, so this is all you get. I thought the yellow dress was just TOO cute!

Later I entertained us by doctoring up the photos a bit on Picmonkey. I think I did a really good job.

Preparing to be the Bachelorette one day!

 Oh, the sunglasses are real, by the way. They were super cute and I thought she'd pitch a fit when I put them on her, but she didn't. Nothing fazes this one, apparently!

So all in all it was a pretty perfect weekend. I would estimate I was the Baby Holder approximately 75% of the time I was there, with the other 25% of the time being shared by the other 7 people who were present most of the time (Matt, my parents, Emily's parents, and Jake and Emily themselves). Those are pretty good numbers, so I feel confident I've sealed my position as Most Favorite Aunt (and sister/sister-in-law) for the time being. Jake and Emily seemed a little panicky when we left town, but we have plans for plenty of FaceTiming and hopefully that will help me out (not gonna help them, since I can't babysit via iPhones...) until we get to be together again in person.

Lest you think I did nothing but hold Carley all weekend, here are a few of my less-notable accomplishments: went to a county-wide yardsale (bought a book and a new bike helmet), ran a 9:34 mile (PR!), spent $$$$$ at Ulta, drank 2 new beers (summer bucket list goal), and uncovered a veritable treasure trove of laughs in my own baby books/'school memory' books my mom kept about me as a child. Don't worry. More coming from that soon. If you follow me on Instagram, you've tasted but a preview...mwah ha ha.

With that, I'm off to get ready for a new week (bah) and -most likely- stare at pictures of my sweet baby niece. And text my brother to see if he misses me yet. Yippee!!