what i love about blogging

Yesterday I received a comment from a blog-reader asking for some advice. She said that her sister has been trying to get pregnant for four years (TWINSIES!) and has just gone through a failed IVF (ugh.). Her sister, the one commenting, was wondering if I had any advice for her-- how she could best support her sister and be a good friend during this tough time. She wants to 'love her well' (love those words) and was looking for any advice or perspective that could help.

And this? This is why I love blogging. And I love reading blogs. And I love other people who read blogs. And I love people that blog openly- who aren't scared to let people see inside their situations that are less than ideal. Because I think it helps everyone. It helps us love one another better.

Now personally, I'm pretty sure this particular girl is probably already being a fabulous help to her sister-- just based on the fact that she's willing to actively seek out information and advice on how to support her? I bet she's doing a fantastic job already. But don't worry, I sent her a novel few tips...not that I've experienced a failed IVF (yet), but I've got the four-years-of-infertility down pat. And I'm thankful to be friends with many of you who have experienced failed IVFs and put your experiences out there for the world to see. So I have some idea of how to support people going through that situation.

And that's what I love about reading blogs. The vast world of life experiences I can catch a glimpse of first-hand. That by 'knowing' people going through so many different things, it can help me be a better friend to the people in my 'real' world going through something similar. Sometimes I cringe thinking about things I've said or thought about people's situations in the past.  I mean, only a handful of years ago, I honestly didn't know very well anyone who had gone through a miscarriage (or at least, no one who had shared openly about what it was really like). And so when I heard about someone suffering one, I'll admit- I was really confused about why they seemed so upset. I thought they should just get over it and they could always just get pregnant again. That's so embarrassing to admit. But it's true. Because no one had let me in on what it's really like, so I had nothing to base my opinions on but my own experience, which was...none. And my perspective on the situation obviously reflected that.

But now? Oh my gosh. Through both blog-friends and brave real-life friends, I've known so many women to go through miscarriages. And I hate that I do-- but I am so thankful for the openness and vulnerability of those that have offered a glimpse into what it's truly like to be in that situation. Because now I know. I have not experienced that situation-- although I certainly may, some day. But when my friends, my sisters, my co-workers...when they go through that now, I know. I know how I can help them. I know the things not to say. I know how to pray for them, how to offer support, what small things I can do to help them bear their burden. It's not going to take all the pain away. But I can certainly try to avoid adding to the pain. And I owe that in large part to brave members of the blogging community who are willing to lay it all out there for others to learn from.

And it's not just A/L/I issues that I'm learning about. The blog-world is as big and wide as the real one. I am thankful for the women who blog about the issues they face with children with disabilities. I am thankful for those who offer a glimpse into living with a deployed spouse-- they help me understand how to support my own sister. I am thankful for those who share the trials and fear associated with having children with life-threatening allergies. They make me a more compassionate person. I hate that anyone in their 20s or 30s would ever have to experience the loss of a spouse or child-- but I am thankful that they share, because when it happens to someone in my own life, I want to know how I can help. I read the blog of a regular ol' American mom who happens to be an observant Muslim-- it helps me understand what it's like to be a member of a religion that's pretty much generally reviled in my country. It reminds me to not judge a billion people by the actions of a few. I love the blogs of families who have adopted older children from China-- the challenges and situations they face are completely unique and things I never ever would have considered, until someone blogged bravely about them. I am thankful for the women who bear their souls when their marriages are disintegrating, when their hearts are breaking- because I have many friends going through that in real life, and it isn't always easy to know what to say, or to know how they are hurting. But now I can know.

I love the 'fun' parts of blogging, too- I love when 20 people get excited enough about my 'big plans' to put a plastic pool in my backyard and make some kind of redneck water park that they want to offer a supportive comment or piece of advice. That's hilarious to me and brings endless smiles to my face. I love when I ask for advice (regarding home decor, or exercising, or makeup) and you give it. Those things are so much fun. But when I got that comment yesterday, asking for tips on encouraging a sister in a tough situation, it reminded me: blogging isn't just frivolous fun. It is frivolous fun, often. But not just. Today I am thankful for the 'serious' parts of blogging...that it's making us better people. More well-rounded. Better friends and wives and mothers and sisters and co-workers. Our hearts are more open and our words are more compassionate. And for that I am really, really thankful.

And in that light- what do you wish people knew about to support people in your situation? Alison wanted to know how to support her sister who just experienced a failed IVF-- what would you tell her? Maybe infertility isn't your thing. What is? I encourage you to share bravely-- in your own blog, or in your real life (even scarier). Or even here, in the comments-- help us all understand what it's like to be in a situation we probably haven't experienced firsthand. 

And now I shall step off of my Motivational Speaker platform and get back to my day job. Just know that I am thankful for all of you and appreciative of the ways that you've opened my eyes and my heart. High five for blogging, yo!