Monday, February 17, 2014

of earthquakes and blankets

I survived the weekend. Literally.

[I'm probably one of the few people left in the English-speaking world who actually CARES about the meaning of the word literally and is hugely bothered by the fact that now it's okay to use it to mean the complete opposite-- figuratively-- and also that it's now WAY overused. So please take note that I am using the word sparingly and correctly. Thanks.]

I've lived in Georgia my whole life. I love it here. I don't know if I'll ever live anywhere else and I'm okay with that about 95% of the time (except for when I want to live in the Middle East). But after this past week, I'm not so sure that the feeling is mutual. I'm getting the impression that Georgia is sick of her inhabitants and wants us all to leave.

Exhibit A: Two Snowpocalypses in three weeks.

Exhibit B: The Great Valentine's Day 2014 Earthquake. Before we're even fully recovered from Snowpocalypse 2.0!!

Technically speaking, the earthquake was actually in South Carolina. But just barely over the border, in a teeny town so small that folks there claim they're from Augusta (Georgia), which is the nearest sizable town (and the place I grew up and my folks still live). And we could all feel it, up to 150 miles away! So basically, Georgia.

I'm sure you're dying to hear a play-by-play of my True Life: I Survived a 4.1 Earthquake 90 Miles from the Epicenter story. Unfortunately, it's a little anticlimactic. We were watching TV. I felt and heard the walls and floor vibrating strangely, kind of like a very prolonged thunderclap during a huge summer storm or something. It lasted maybe 5 seconds. It didn't concern me enough to pause the TV or even mention anything to Matt, who- for the record- was sitting 1 inch away from me and reportedly did not hear, feel, or notice anything. I probably wouldn't have ever thought about it again except that during a commercial break (I hate you, HuluPlus. COMMERCIALS?!?! This is injustice.) I glanced at Facebook and it was slam-packed with friends and family all experiencing the exact same thing at the same time. Was that an EARTHQUAKE???? all us poor inexperienced, un-earthquake-initiated Georgians wondered. 

We decided it was. I mean, a scientific survey of everyone I know that was awake at 10:30 on a Friday night and cared to share their thoughts on Facebook (so, everybody) revealed that everyone in Georgia and the Carolinas had all experienced the same thing. Within 5 minutes it was trending on Facebook and Twitter. And there was NO OFFICIAL WORD from ANY reliable news source for like TWENTY WHOLE MINUTES!! This was practically as alarming as the earthquake itself. If a news anchor or journalist doesn't confirm that we just felt an earthquake, did it really happen? Was it some kind of collective hallucination? Is this a conspiracy? 

I mean, snarky memes were already flying-- and the quake hadn't even been officially acknowledged yet! The fact that people can make memes faster than the media can freak out over something alarming is...well, alarming.


I wish I could properly cite the source of this meme, but I can't. It all happened so fast-- I saw this appear on someone's timeline and almost died laughing. I tried to 'share' it, but it wouldn't let me (due to that friend's privacy settings). It was too funny and I was too caught up in the drama and excitement of the moment-- I just right-click saved it and posted it myself. I know. I'm a terrible person. And now I'm sharing it here. For the record, I take no credit for it, I doubt whoever DID make it is/could earn money off it, and I'm sorry.

The earthquake was all the talk of the town (and state, and tri-state area, I'm guessing) all weekend, which is pretty funny considering it was basically no different (and far less destructive) than a single thunderclap/lightning bolt in the summer. Still, we've all been playing "where were you when it happened??!" all weekend, same as we do after any other major, life-changing event. So funny.

But then again-- two extremely unusual (for us) weather/geological events in one week? I'm keeping my eye on you, Georgia. (PS. There was a 3.2 aftershock in the exact same town today!! I couldn't feel that one, but the Augusta-area contingent of my friends and family definitely did. So ummm...watch yourself, people of Augusta. Stop making the earth mad. Go hug a tree or buy a locally-sourced hybrid or something.)

In other equally life-altering news, I got a new blanket this weekend. (I know, somebody phone the press...)

Source
The thing is, I've been lusting after this blanket for a month. A WHOLE MONTH, PEOPLE!!!! My sister-in-law has this blanket and when we visited her last month, I fell in serious love with it...and finally, at long last, I made it (well, its identical twin....conveniently mass-produced and sold at Target) mine. I had to wait a whole month because like...who just goes out and buys a blanket? It's not like I really need another blanket. I have lots already. It didn't come in any colors that particularly compliment my decor. And it wasn't super-bargain-basement cheap...so I felt like I needed to really justify it if I were to buy it.

So I just waited a month. I still can't really say I need it, but I still really want it AND it got special clearance pricing (that made it roughly $5 cheaper than it used to be, whoopie...), so...it became mine. It is HUGE and really, really, REALLYREALLY SOFT. I can't overstate the softness. And the hugeness. And the awesomeness. It's so awesome that I had a photo shoot with it.


Please ignore how hideous I look. I'd just returned from the gym (and changed into PJ pants, obviously) and couldn't be bothered to make myself presentable before I got back to cuddling with my blankie. Plus, I think it gives me super powers. Like the ability to survive earthquakes. And read lots of books. And watch lots of TV. Because that's pretty much all I accomplished in my post-new-blanket weekend. My only regret is that I didn't have the blanket before last week's snowstorm. I bet my endless days of being housebound would have been infinitely better if I'd had this blanket.

In semi-tragic weekend news, I finished (well, caught up to the current season/episode of) Revenge. Can anyone relate to the empty feeling that comes over you when you finish marathoning a show? Like...is there anything to live for now? What will I do with myself? It's pretty pathetic, really. Thank God the Olympics are still on...otherwise I might have to think of something to do that didn't involve laying on the couch caressing my giant new blanket.

Well, that's about it, folks. Time to focus on a new week and the inevitable separation anxiety that I'm going to experience when I am forced to leave the blankie at home and go to work. Wish me luck! 


18 comments:

  1. I'm impressed that your new blanket had the ability to remove your jacket somewhere between the 1st and 3rd picture! Also, I got a good laugh out of the "we will rebuild" pic when you shared it on fb, and it's still amusing today. Glad you (literally) survived!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Georgia's weather is ca-razy these days!! I did not feel the earthquake, but I heard it. And I do believe I might have to invest in that blanket. I have some great blankets, but they are all small and only cover half my body. I definitely cannot wrap myself up in them.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Georgia's weather is getting a little crazy down there! I "felt" an earthquake while I was at school like 2 years ago. I say "felt" because I had just got to class and was sitting down. It was lecture style classroom but had long tables and the chairs were all connected. So when it happened I just thought someone had sat down really hard haha. Then we got an alert that it was an earthquake.

    That blanket looks awesome!!!! It's always nice to have plenty of blanket options :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. So, this is pathetic but Sam was already asleep on Friday night... rowdy, good time at the Greavus on Vday. : ) I definitely felt it but not in a million years would I have thought earthquake... naturally, I assumed there was a gas leak and we were about to explode. Logical, right? I was so comforted to log onto Facebook and learn that EVERYONE felt the rumbling disturbance and we were not, in fact, about to be blown to bits.

    Hulu commercials are the worst... I don't even care all that much that they have commercials, but more that it's the SAME commercial over and over and over again... ughhhhh. Marathon tv becomes marathon commercials too. So frustrating. Revenge is awesome, and I'm sooo bummed that there are only three seasons. What will I do when I'm caught up? I assume whatever I did before I started binging, but I actually can't remember.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your new blanket looks lovely especially as I fight to keep my eye open this morning. Night night!

    ReplyDelete
  6. haha my brother in law moved to Atlanta this summer and we've decided that all this craziness is happening in Georgia because of him. I do apologize ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. That sounds intense! I'm glad the Carolina's and Georgia were spared. The word 'literally' always makes me think of Chris Trager from P&R and I lit-erally read it with his inflection every time. Now I bet you are too, aren't you?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh autocorrect- that should read Carolinas. Hope the apostrophe didn't assault your eyes too badly for a Monday morning.

      Delete
  8. Dang earthquakes! I remember when Colby was living in GA last year and one hit here and it completely freaked me out!!! ugh! That blanket it looks divine!

    ReplyDelete
  9. First, I also reeeeeaaally hate that literally now also means figuratively. That's like saying hot now means cold. Grrrrrr!!!!
    Also, congrats on your first earthquake experience! We get them in Alaska frequently and the stron ones are actually kin of scary.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Not only am I laughing at the earthquake photo but also at the first comment here about the blanket making your jacket disappear...this is good stuff!! You can't get anything by us lady!

    ReplyDelete
  11. that blanket looks fantastic! Facebook alerted me to the GA earthquake as well. Crazy stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Perhaps you should design one of those bracelets (like the "live strong" ones) as a fundraiser for the victims of this horrendous disaster? I'll totally buy one.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Whoa Georgia. . . what could be next??? You better watch out! Maybe it is time for you to head on back to Texas since the weather is officially humid and in the 70's!

    ReplyDelete
  14. HA! That meme is too funny! I'm totally over the snow at the point. Hopefully today's rain will melt the last of it. Cute blanket, though!

    ReplyDelete
  15. We had an earthquake here a couple of summers ago and I completely missed it. Dave called me from work and was asking if I was freaked out at all and I was like, "Why? Should I be?" I'm glad you survived.

    And I love hearing about a good blanket. I cannot sit (or lie) on the couch without one.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I would be flattened if all websites gave articles like that. sewing kit

    ReplyDelete

I love comments almost as much as I love Mexican food. Seriously.