Sunday, August 2, 2015

neighbor of the year

Maybe you've noticed, but I don't get around to doing weekend recaps (or any sort of recaps, except maybe Millie's monthly updates, really) much anymore. Thus is the plight of the strapped-for-time-and-energy working mom, I suppose. But here it is on Sunday night and I have an hour and I just finished a book and haven't started my next book and what the heck, why not share a few of the more memorable highlights of the last few days?

Please note: "memorable" does not necessarily mean "good." You have been warned.

Since it's summer in Georgia and approximately 3,478 degrees outside for most of the day, I try to go outside with Millie in the mornings and the evenings, when it is perhaps only in the mid-90s and therefore somewhat bearable.

These lantana are delicious, Mom. I love second breakfast!
 We don't have a lot of fun outdoor toys yet, but Millie finds grass and flowers to be pretty amusing, so throw in a few sand toys from the beach and she's a happy camper. 

THIS GRASS!! Seriously, Mom, what kind of seasoning are you using? It's perfection.

The problem with being this adorable is that people never stop kissing you...
She's a really happy camper, though, when the two-year-old from next door sees us outside playing and comes running over. This is also one of my favorite things. I have long entertained visions of my children playing in the yard on long summer evenings with the neighbor kids, the way I played with my neighbors growing was blissful. So when Wyatt recently started noticing Millie walking around and looking generally more interesting than the lumpy baby she used to be, he started yelling across the yards at us: Miiiiwwwwwwiiieeeee!!! Can I pway wif Miwwie?? Miwwie's ball? I can play wif Miwwie's ball? And he comes over and they play and the parents chat and it's really like a dream come true.

Most of the time.

Except for Thursday night. Because on Thursday night, something went terribly awry in our idyllic little summer neighborhood scene.

Wyatt and Miwwie were playing with her ball, and since Millie's defense skills are currently rather lacking, the ball went right past her and rolled into the garage and under our car. Uh oh!!! I get it!!!! Wyatt tells us, running to the garage. His dad follows him and lays down to reach under the car for the bouncy ball. I'm chatting with Wyatt's mom and not paying much attention to either of them as they retrieve the ball, but we both look over when Wyatt walks up to us holding something thin in his hand. I can get the ball with this? he asks, extending his arm towards his mom and me. 

Our garage floor is scattered with the random dried grass and sticks that falls off the bottom of the lawn mower when we drive it back in. So I assumed that what Wyatt had picked up off the floor was some dried up vine or something. As his mom and I moved in closer to look, she shrieked. IS THAT A SNAKE???!

I was about a foot away from my two-year-old neighbor, and as soon as she said it, I knew it was true. It was definitely not a weed wrapped around Wyatt's arm. It was a SNAKE. A very thin black snake. WRAPPED AROUND HIS ARM.

I was the closest adult to Wyatt by about two feet. Therefore I did what the Closest Adult was duty-bound to do.

Stare in shock and horror. A snake. Wrapped around his arm. OH MY GOSH. A snake!! In MY garage!! It's on his arm! Oh, wow! I wonder how it got in here? I wonder what my cat does all day...why didn't it kill it? Is there a mommy snake somewhere? There's a snake on his arm! Ahhh!

Obviously I was far too consumed with my own thoughts to do anything useful, like say GET THE SNAKE OFF HIS ARM.

Yes, I am ready to receive my Most Worthless Adult of the Year award.

Luckily, Wyatt's mom has better Mom Reflexes than I do, and she bravely slapped the snake off his arm. About one second after it bit him.

A SNAKE BIT A TODDLER IN MY GARAGE. It was the worst Thursday night ever. Ugh.

The weird thing is that although four out of four adults were freaking out about the whole Snake Biting Toddler situation, the toddler and the almost-toddler couldn't have been less interested or alarmed. Approximately the same second that the snake bit him and his mom frantically slapped it off his arm, Wyatt noticed my old bike sitting on the driveway (I had pulled it out to clean it off) and walked over to it. Ooohh, a bike!!! Can I touch it?

We spent the next few minutes trying to identify the snake and monitor Wyatt's arm. Thankfully, the snake ended up being a non-poisonous Southern Ringneck, and his arm showed no sign of trauma. They erred on the side of safety and called the after-hours nurse line (they said just to clean with soap and water and watch for signs of infection, but were otherwise unconcerned) and took him over to the fire station to have an EMT look at it (same story). By the following morning, they couldn't even see where the bite was, and so luckily this story has an uneventful ending. He's doing just fine, and they even came back over to play on Friday evening, so I guess they have forgiven me for being the most useless human being on earth ever.

You should probably all stop and say a prayer of thanks that I don't work in any kind of environment that requires the ability to make split-second life-saving decisions and actions. The world would be a scary place. Ugh. I really had no idea I was this bad in a I've spent the weekend coming to terms with this new facet of my personality. Ha.

Luckily, Snakegate was pretty much the low point of the week...the rest of the weekend was much less eventful.

 On Friday night, Matt was hanging out with some guys, so Millie and I went on a mommy-daughter date to eat Mexican food. As you can see, it was probably the greatest night of her life. Ha. Actually, we had a lot of fun...this is just what her post-Mexican food coma looks like. She does me proud the way she inhales Mexican food.

On Saturday night Matt and I attended the wedding of a dear friend slash (now-former, waaaahhh) coworker. I had way too much fun getting dolled up (and attempting a fancy braided updo in my hair that you cannot see at ALL in this picture...the only picture I took all night...of course), and the wedding and reception were beautiful (and delicious). I got a new dress for the occasion and I loved it- so much that I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing it again next month for another wedding, ha, so pretend you've never seen it when I show pictures from that wedding, okay? Thanks. 

Oh hey, Mom. I'm cuter than all get out, right?
Four hours of being away from my girl last night was too much, so I've been happy to make up for the lost time today. It's been an uneventful (and snake-free, I might add) day of church and toys and chores and wagons and errands. We introduced good ol' whole milk to Millie's diet today, a few days shy of her first birthday, and so far she's a pretty big fan. She's moved to the one-year-old class at school, and they can't have bottles or formula in there (although they'll give us a little grace period to get her changed over), so I'm glad that she seems to be transitioning fine and not missing her bottles at all. And I'm REALLY excited at the prospect of perhaps never having to buy formula again (for Millie)!! Cha-CHING!$!$!$!

And with that, we head into another week. Birthday week. I have only two days left with a child whose age is measured in months instead of years. It's a little sad, but I can't help but remember how fortunate I am to have a healthy child privileged to celebrate her first birthday. I am currently mourning with my best friend, who will give birth next week to her son who has Trisomy 13. He is not expected to live for more than a few minutes to hours past birth, if he survives childbirth at all. I have mourned and wept with my friends over the past seven months of waiting for this tragedy (while desperately hoping and praying for a miracle) while simultaneously experiencing the joy of watching my own child grow up healthy and strong, and the juxtaposition is just too much sometimes. At any rate, I would appreciate it if you would keep Kristina, James, and their sweet baby Ezekiel in your thoughts and prayers this week. 


  1. I think I have quick reaction skills, but that snake would have make my feet feel like cement blocks. Holy cow...I would have screamed!
    Can I just point out the chubby cuteness of Millie's thighs?! Oh my!
    Sending prayers and thoughts to your friends. May they find peace and grace in their sadness. xoxo
    We are also celebrating a birthday this week. Jason turns 11!!! Happy 1st Birthday week, Millie!

  2. I am so sorry to hear about your best friend's son - breaks my heart. Prayers for comfort for them and all who love them.
    Is it silly that I love that I share a birthday with Millie? We can keep celebrating in months. She is turning 12 months, and I am turning 420 months - no big deal. Can't wait to see how the celebrating goes - I can give you a sneak peak of mine - sugar, fat, pedicure, sugar, Kendra Scott, sugar, fat... :)

  3. Yikes! I'm glad your neighbs don't seem to be holding the snake episode against you - and I'm glad Millie didn't get bitten along with him! Can't wait to see how Millie celebrates the big 1 this week, and will pray for your friends as they go into this week...

  4. So many highs and lows in just one post! Glad the snake event wasn't more traumatic, and that you're able to celebrate Millie turning one (though I know that will be mildly traumatic). And praying for your friend, Kristina, and her family- so awful :(

  5. I am praying for your friend and her family. May God's peace surround them during this week as they celebrate the life of Ezekiel, no matter how long he lives here on earth. And may you find ways to comfort them during this time.

  6. I think my reaction would have been much worst. I probably would have ran away or screamed. Snakes are not my favorite creatures at all. Sorry to hear about ur friend they'll be in my prayer's. Happy early bday Millie. Aug babies are the best lol my bday is in 11 days! & this little man should be here soon hopefully as I type this trying to take these minor contractions.

  7. SNAKEGATE! Omg. I would have died. We get snakes in our yard, but never one in our garage that close! I'm glad he's ok from the bite.

    And your wedding look is GORGEOUS. That dress is so cute on you!

    And I'll be praying for your heartbreaking. :(

  8. First- I'm praying for your friends. Heartbreaking doesn't even describe what they're going through, I'm sure :(
    Second- I'm pretty sure I'd have been just as helpful as you were with the snake biting incident! How scary!!
    And finally- I LOVE your red lipstick in the picture of you and Matt from the wedding. Hot mama!!

  9. FREAKING out about the snake and the toddler who was bitten. WOWZA. I don't think I could have gotten the snake off of him either...I mean, I guess I would have to if it were MY CHILD-but really, my instincts tell me to run the heck inside the house. I do not do snakes AT ALL. I was bit when I was 5 and it's a HORRIBLE memory for me-I mean, they almost amputated my left leg for crying out loud. So yeah, no snakes for me. We avoid the reptile houses at the zoo too...I don't care if it's 120 degrees outside and that little building has AC, I would rather pass out from a heat stoke before going in there!

  10. I would have ran from that snake! So I would not be much help either sadly, that would totally be a ' Daddy better get it ' moment.

    I am so sorry to hear about your friend and their sweet baby. Prayers for the road ahead.

  11. Your baby is seriously ridiculously adorable! How much time do you spend just nibbling those chunky legs!!!

    This was years ago but my kids pediatrician's son cut his finger off in their backyard one day. Being a Dr. whose specialty was kids, she obviously knew what one was supposed to do in this situation but instead, she ran around screaming hysterically. Luckily, one of her son's 12 year old friends picked up the finger and put it on ice so they were able to reattach it but it tortured her how she'd gone into sheer panic!

    Prayers for your friend and her sweet boy:(

  12. The snake story! That is one that you will forever be telling lol. "Remember that time he came out of the garage with a SNAKE!?!?" And you will laugh as you remember. Glad that nothing went wrong with the bite so that it is a laughable story for the rest of life.

    Praying for your friend.

  13. The snake story freaked me out, don't get me wrong but I wanted to say how much I loved the book Firefly Lane. It's one of my favorites for sure.
    She's such a cutie.
    Keeping your friends in my prayers, that's heartbreaking.

  14. Um yeah if I was in your shoes during snakegate I would have straight up run in the other direction screaming so at least you're better than me in a snake crisis!
    Some of my favorite memories growing up is playing with my neighbor friends so I'm glad Millie now has some!!
    Your best friend's family are definitely in my prayers :(

  15. I'm going to adopt Wyatt's use of Miwwie because that's the cutest thing ever. Glad there are future play dates in their future.

    Broken hearted with you over Kristina. Joining you in prayer.

  16. I am fairly certain I would have reacted the same way! Ha.

    So sorry about your friends. That is just so awful. Ugh. Prayers are being lifted. :(

  17. This blog made me want to faint. No seriously. I hate snakes. HATE THEM. If someone asked me if I would rather let a tarantula crawl across my arm or be in the same yard as a snake, I would be like "Hand me that spider!" Uhhhh...I had flashbacks of that terrible scene in State of Wonder, with the anaconda. NO. Just NO. *On a side note, besides the day we met our baby, the day we stopped buying formula was the best day of our lives. I wanted to throw money into the air and make it rain.*

  18. If it makes you feel any better, I believe I would have reacted the same way. I am TERRIBLE in emergencies - I think I'm just so squeamish and so against seeing unpleasant things that I know I wouldn't be any help? This is really bad and I don't tell a lot of people, but last year my little brother accidentally kicked sand in Molly's face... when she was 5 weeks old... and I was one of the ones who hung back rather than rush in. In my defense, the people who did rush in were nurses/more calm and collected people than I am and I think subconsciously I knew they'd be able to help her more than I would be. But still! Even when it's my own child, apparently I'm not a first responder.

    Prayers for your friends during this difficult time. I truly cannot imagine. One of my favorite quotes ever, which I'm sure you've probably heard: "There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world.”

  19. Thank you, friend. Our grief and heartbreak doesn't take away from the joy I feel over Millie's sweet life. She helps remind me that redemption is real. :)


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