neighbor of the year

Maybe you've noticed, but I don't get around to doing weekend recaps (or any sort of recaps, except maybe Millie's monthly updates, really) much anymore. Thus is the plight of the strapped-for-time-and-energy working mom, I suppose. But here it is on Sunday night and I have an hour and I just finished a book and haven't started my next book and what the heck, why not share a few of the more memorable highlights of the last few days?

Please note: "memorable" does not necessarily mean "good." You have been warned.

Since it's summer in Georgia and approximately 3,478 degrees outside for most of the day, I try to go outside with Millie in the mornings and the evenings, when it is perhaps only in the mid-90s and therefore somewhat bearable.

These lantana are delicious, Mom. I love second breakfast!

 We don't have a lot of fun outdoor toys yet, but Millie finds grass and flowers to be pretty amusing, so throw in a few sand toys from the beach and she's a happy camper. 

THIS GRASS!! Seriously, Mom, what kind of seasoning are you using? It's perfection.

The problem with being this adorable is that people never stop kissing you...

She's a really happy camper, though, when the two-year-old from next door sees us outside playing and comes running over. This is also one of my favorite things. I have long entertained visions of my children playing in the yard on long summer evenings with the neighbor kids, the way I played with my neighbors growing up...it was blissful. So when Wyatt recently started noticing Millie walking around and looking generally more interesting than the lumpy baby she used to be, he started yelling across the yards at us: Miiiiwwwwwwiiieeeee!!! Can I pway wif Miwwie?? Miwwie's ball? I can play wif Miwwie's ball? And he comes over and they play and the parents chat and it's really like a dream come true.

Most of the time.

Except for Thursday night. Because on Thursday night, something went terribly awry in our idyllic little summer neighborhood scene.

Wyatt and Miwwie were playing with her ball, and since Millie's defense skills are currently rather lacking, the ball went right past her and rolled into the garage and under our car. Uh oh!!! I get it!!!! Wyatt tells us, running to the garage. His dad follows him and lays down to reach under the car for the bouncy ball. I'm chatting with Wyatt's mom and not paying much attention to either of them as they retrieve the ball, but we both look over when Wyatt walks up to us holding something thin in his hand. I can get the ball with this? he asks, extending his arm towards his mom and me. 

Our garage floor is scattered with the random dried grass and sticks that falls off the bottom of the lawn mower when we drive it back in. So I assumed that what Wyatt had picked up off the floor was some dried up vine or something. As his mom and I moved in closer to look, she shrieked. IS THAT A SNAKE???!

I was about a foot away from my two-year-old neighbor, and as soon as she said it, I knew it was true. It was definitely not a weed wrapped around Wyatt's arm. It was a SNAKE. A very thin black snake. WRAPPED AROUND HIS ARM.

I was the closest adult to Wyatt by about two feet. Therefore I did what the Closest Adult was duty-bound to do.

Stare in shock and horror. A snake. Wrapped around his arm. OH MY GOSH. A snake!! In MY garage!! It's on his arm! Oh, wow! I wonder how it got in here? I wonder what my cat does all day...why didn't it kill it? Is there a mommy snake somewhere? There's a snake on his arm! Ahhh!

Obviously I was far too consumed with my own thoughts to do anything useful, like say GET THE SNAKE OFF HIS ARM.

Yes, I am ready to receive my Most Worthless Adult of the Year award.

Luckily, Wyatt's mom has better Mom Reflexes than I do, and she bravely slapped the snake off his arm. About one second after it bit him.

A SNAKE BIT A TODDLER IN MY GARAGE. It was the worst Thursday night ever. Ugh.

The weird thing is that although four out of four adults were freaking out about the whole Snake Biting Toddler situation, the toddler and the almost-toddler couldn't have been less interested or alarmed. Approximately the same second that the snake bit him and his mom frantically slapped it off his arm, Wyatt noticed my old bike sitting on the driveway (I had pulled it out to clean it off) and walked over to it. Ooohh, a bike!!! Can I touch it?

We spent the next few minutes trying to identify the snake and monitor Wyatt's arm. Thankfully, the snake ended up being a non-poisonous Southern Ringneck, and his arm showed no sign of trauma. They erred on the side of safety and called the after-hours nurse line (they said just to clean with soap and water and watch for signs of infection, but were otherwise unconcerned) and took him over to the fire station to have an EMT look at it (same story). By the following morning, they couldn't even see where the bite was, and so luckily this story has an uneventful ending. He's doing just fine, and they even came back over to play on Friday evening, so I guess they have forgiven me for being the most useless human being on earth ever.

You should probably all stop and say a prayer of thanks that I don't work in any kind of environment that requires the ability to make split-second life-saving decisions and actions. The world would be a scary place. Ugh. I really had no idea I was this bad in a crisis...so I've spent the weekend coming to terms with this new facet of my personality. Ha.

Luckily, Snakegate was pretty much the low point of the week...the rest of the weekend was much less eventful.

 On Friday night, Matt was hanging out with some guys, so Millie and I went on a mommy-daughter date to eat Mexican food. As you can see, it was probably the greatest night of her life. Ha. Actually, we had a lot of fun...this is just what her post-Mexican food coma looks like. She does me proud the way she inhales Mexican food.

On Saturday night Matt and I attended the wedding of a dear friend slash (now-former, waaaahhh) coworker. I had way too much fun getting dolled up (and attempting a fancy braided updo in my hair that you cannot see at ALL in this picture...the only picture I took all night...of course), and the wedding and reception were beautiful (and delicious). I got a new dress for the occasion and I loved it- so much that I'm pretty sure I'll be wearing it again next month for another wedding, ha, so pretend you've never seen it when I show pictures from that wedding, okay? Thanks. 

Oh hey, Mom. I'm cuter than all get out, right?

Four hours of being away from my girl last night was too much, so I've been happy to make up for the lost time today. It's been an uneventful (and snake-free, I might add) day of church and toys and chores and wagons and errands. We introduced good ol' whole milk to Millie's diet today, a few days shy of her first birthday, and so far she's a pretty big fan. She's moved to the one-year-old class at school, and they can't have bottles or formula in there (although they'll give us a little grace period to get her changed over), so I'm glad that she seems to be transitioning fine and not missing her bottles at all. And I'm REALLY excited at the prospect of perhaps never having to buy formula again (for Millie)!! Cha-CHING!$!$!$!

And with that, we head into another week. Birthday week. I have only two days left with a child whose age is measured in months instead of years. It's a little sad, but I can't help but remember how fortunate I am to have a healthy child privileged to celebrate her first birthday. I am currently mourning with my best friend, who will give birth next week to her son who has Trisomy 13. He is not expected to live for more than a few minutes to hours past birth, if he survives childbirth at all. I have mourned and wept with my friends over the past seven months of waiting for this tragedy (while desperately hoping and praying for a miracle) while simultaneously experiencing the joy of watching my own child grow up healthy and strong, and the juxtaposition is just too much sometimes. At any rate, I would appreciate it if you would keep Kristina, James, and their sweet baby Ezekiel in your thoughts and prayers this week.