the people have spoken

So, I really love that people actually 'voted' on what topics I should blog about. It makes my world feel just a teensy bit more democratic, and I also love being a people-pleaser, so it makes my heart happy to write about the things yall wanna hear about. Luckily for me, all 4 topics got voted for, so I don't have to edit out any of my mental blogs. :) I'm going to go ahead and talk about the 2 that are quickest and easiest...requiring no uploading of pictures or reviewing of technical computer mumbo-jumbo. So without further adu, I present you with

Funny Things Kids Have Said Lately

1. I'm sitting at a table with some "friends" (my students that aren't completely obnoxious are elevated to 'friend' status). They're working on writing their first and last names. One friend, Enya*, who provides me with no shortage of entertainment, really surprised me by writing her middle name as well, with no help...and it just so happens that we share the same middle name! So we're bonding over Renee, and my friend Teagan*, a particularly smart little whippersnapper, doesn't want to be left out. "I know my middle name," he exclaims. "It's Darrell (pronounced duh-RELL)! Teagan Darrell Smith!" He looks pretty proud of himself. "Darrell, huh? I like that name, Teagan!"I tell him. "It's my daddy's name too! His name is...Daddy Darrell Smith!" I fall on the floor laughing. Teagan has a really confused look on his face. You laughin' at me? "Daddy Darrell Smith, eh Teagan? I'll be sure to address him properly next time we meet."

*names changed to protect my friends

2. Now this one may make you laugh, or it may make you feel slightly saddened. Either way, it amused me. I wish you knew my kids. They're so completely unlike you and me and all the other kids you know...and they're awesome. Anyway, this particular child is from, comparatively speaking, a fairly intact and supportive family. Definitely not as sketch as some of my other kids' home situations are. But apparently he watches too much TV or something...

I'm at the table with the kids, and we're discussing the previous day's Literacy Fair and who saw whom there. Bobby* was there and had come to visit with me, so I pointed this out. "Bobby, I saw YOU there yesterday! I gave you a popsicle!!"

He looks at me with a devilish twinkle in his eyes (and he is a CUTE, tiny little thing).

"I saw you in your room!" he informs the table.

"In my room?! No, you saw me on the field outside!" I correct him.

"No!! I saw you cause I was naked driving in my truck!"

What?? The other kids are hootin' and hollerin. "WHAT?? You were naked in your truck?" is my mature, teacherly response.

He grins, then shakes his head. "But then I put my clothes on. I not naked anymore."

He then quickly sketches a picture of me in a window (stick person inside a box) and him in a car next to the window (stick person in a blob with circle wheels).

Then he draws 2 stick people (heads, arms, legs...no facial features or hair for either person). "That's me and that's you. You're bald."

He finishes by drawing two more stick people who are clearly holding hands (their arms end, touching each other in a big blob). Again, neither person has hair. "Who's that?" I ask. "It's me and you. You look like a man. I draw you a mustache." (He does).

I could go on (not with that story, sadly, but with others) but I'll save it for another day. Must move on to Voted Upon Topic #2.

The Pioneer Woman
A 'friend'-- and this time, by 'friend' I mean someone whom I've been blogstalking for years but have never met in person (or even left a comment...eeek, bad me)-- introduced me to this one. And she warned me, too. I believe her post on the topic was something like "Do not, under any circumstances, go to this web page. Just don't!! And if you do, then by all means do NOT start reading "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels"! I am warning you!! Unless you have NO LIFE and hundreds of empty hours to fill...just don't click the link!!" So I can't say I wasn't warned, and neither can you, because I feel the same way she did. DON'T DO IT. But in case you're wondering where I am...well, you can find me here. Because I'm completely and totally in love with Ree (the Pioneer Woman herself) and her story and her life and her kids and her pictures and her STORIES and her recipes and her STORIES and her humor and her pictures and her writing and her giveaways and her STORIES. And did I mention she's a good storyteller and a fabulous writer? Well, consider yourselves warned. And yes, it was completely intentional that I didn't mention her webpage/blog until Thursday night. I didn't want to be responsible for all of yall being completely irresponsible all week long. But if you have some time on your hands this weekend (and I mean time)...maybe you might like stopping by. And starting the Black Heels saga in Chapter 1. I mean, if you want to.

Well, we can cross those two topics off the List of Things to Blog About. Now I must dash off to Dave Ramsey's Town Hall for Hope meeting. I'm all about some hope, and I've forgiven Dave Ramsey, so we're good to go.