Saturday, October 29, 2011


GAH!!! So far this weekend has been marked by misadventure. Which is a nice way of saying "despite having Friday off for Fall Break, TONS OF SUCKY THINGS HAPPENED and the rest of the weekend BETTER be better."

Lucky for you, I'll be happy to re-tell the tales. (Also lucky for you: none of this involves infertility-- so you don't have to worry about that. Except you can just keep in mind that while all this other bad stuff was going on, I was STILL LIVING WITH INFERTILITY, which makes other bad things worse, wouldn't you agree??? Yes.)

So last night was a birthday celebration for one of our friend's 3oth birthday. It was at a tapas bar downtown, and I'd been looking forward to a) tapas, b) beverages, and c) hanging out with this fun group of friends all week.

So it's Friday night. It's cold and rainy outside. No matter- I decided to wear some super cute/uncomfortable heels that I never wear because...duh, they're impossible to walk in. But the only walking I had to do was from the car to the restaurant, so I figured it was a good time to bust 'em out. So Matt and I make it downtown, and find a really good parking spot right across the street from the restaurant-- score! However, now our stupid town has decided you have to pay for street parking until TEN PM and so we had to track down a parking meter thingy and pay up. It just so happens that there was an old man that beat us to the meter by about 30 seconds, and wouldn't you just know...he was having trouble figuring out how to use it. (Note: I don't blame him- they're brand new, completely electronic, and rather confusing even if you're semi-techno-savvy...which he wasn't). After staring at it for five minutes (IN THE POURING RAIN), he finally asked Matt to help him. Matt was happy to oblige, so then they stood there together staring at it confusedly for another 10 minutes in the rain. At this point, I decided I was tired of being cold and wet and told Matt I was going to walk to the restaurant. As it happens, even though the restaurant was right across the street, I had to walk down the block, wait for a crosswalk, cross that street, then wait for another crosswalk thing to cross another street before I could walk to the restaurant. Not normally a big deal- except that it was rainy and my shoe choice was less-than-ideal for such conditions.

So I walk to the first crosswalk to wait for a white "walk" signal. I happened to be waiting right next to the Arches (UGA landmark), where some local protesters are taking part in Occupying something. Currently they seemed to be enjoying occupying their tent, which was smart in that weather. I made sure not to make any eye contact, because I have zero interest in politics EVER, especially in the cold rain...and I didn't want to get into a conversation. As I am waiting for my signal, suddenly a very tall, unintelligible man walks over and stands THISCLOSE to me. I grab my purse reflexively and take a nice big sidestep, as I turn to give him a face that lets him know I do NOT appreciate him intruding my personal space. Does he get the hint? NO, instead he starts to TALK to me, as he continues creeping closer to me/me sidestep/him creep closer. He's all don't be so scared, honey! I just want to talk to you! Where are you going? You sure look good in those shoes, honey. I liiiiike them. Can I walk you to wherever you're going? You meeting someone? I am CURSING myself for thinking it would be okay to walk 200 yards to a restaurant at night in downtown Athens by myself, and also cursing Matt for STILL BEING ABSORBED WITH HELPING AN OLD MAN while his old lady gets mugged 20 yards away from him. I tell the man several times that no, I would NOT like him to walk me anywhere, that my HUSBAND is right there and coming over to walk with me, and Mr. Mugger does NOT get the clue. I was seriously about to just run into traffic because I would rather get ran over by a car than be accosted by a drunk homeless guy. Also: NOTE TO YOU OCCUPY PEOPLE. It might be nice to say, prevent crime that about to happen like 8 feet away from your tent. I would probably even listen to whatever it is you're upset about if you would like GET THIS DUDE AWAY FROM ME.

Anyway, I finally got my magic "walk" signal and tripped and slipped across Broad St as fast as my little red heels would let me, PRAYING creepy guy wasn't following me. He didn't. I made it to the restaurant, and when I told the hostess I was with the birthday party group, she was like..."there's no group here, but you can look around..." UGH! I should have been about 15 min late at this point, so I couldn't believe NO ONE would be there yet. I opted to wait in the lobby (instead of the table she started setting up for us, or the bar) for Matt and/or the other people to get there. Matt arrived soon, and (I was still shaking from my encounter) I basically bit his head off for letting me get raped (ok, almost) 20 yards away from him...does he even LOVE me?? OK I was totally a witch. But I was SO upset from that guy...and also that there was NO ONE in the restaurant!! So we wait for like 10 min, then I finally text the bday girl and find out I'M AT THE WRONG RESTAURANT. For REAL. I have no idea how I got it in my head we were supposed to be at this one.

So now we have to LEAVE this restaurant, walk through the rain BACK to the car (which we have already paid for parking), drive across downtown (because I can't WALK BECAUSE OF MY SHOES), pay for parking AGAIN, and then walk to the restaurant. I was only about one one-thousandth of a second away from having a breakdown at this point.

Luckily, as soon as I sat down, a drink menu was placed in front of me, and moments later THIS appeared:

Helllllooooo Latin Affair!!! You delightful concoction that taste of sunscreen and summer days! Come to mommy!

Everyone at the table (and apparently the bartenders as well) mocked my delicious, Smurf-esque drink...but I didn't care, because I had just overcome an hour of horribleness and I DESERVED this liquid beach-vacation. It was wonderful.

And then the night got way better, because I got to hang out with some wonderful friends and have some good conversation and delicious tapas and, ya know, the Latin Affair.

My friend Jessie recently downgraded her iPhone and is back to a Really Awesome Dinosaur Phone (like me)...but she can apparently somehow still access the internetz on she proved herself to be my Best Blog-Fan by finding my BLOG on her phone (which took no less than 21849 steps and 15 minutes) was REALLY funny because it loads about 3 words at a time (and I'm very wordy) was kind of like the worlds longest text message. But she said it would be worth it, just to keep up with my blog. That's the kind of friends I like. :) 

Look how dedicated she is!! It warmed my heart. As did our conversation and general shenanigans that night.

So despite the trouble it was to GET to the party, the party itself was wonderful. Good friends, good times.

We made it home without incident, and it seemed as though our Downtown Drama would be a mere blip on the radar of an otherwise good night. But NOT SO FAST, Erika!!! Matt was already in bed, and I was climbing in, when we suddenly heard a very strange and LOUD noise coming from our closet (which is through our bathroom). What the heck??? We both wondered. I'd just left the closet after changing...all was normal!

I walked through the bathroom and opened the closet door...except I couldn't. It was blocked, somehow. I couldn't push it. I shoved really hard, and finally got it open enough to reach my hand in and turn on the light. And then I saw the problem.

Our shelving unit?? The one that has been in there (I assume) since the house was built...the white wire shelves/hanging bars/etc...well, it had just decided to DETACH ITSELF FROM THE WALL. Which means come off the wall, toppling over along with all of the clothes and shoes hanging on it, and all the shelves above it. And this is on the LONG wall of the closet (the closet is a rectangle...the 2 short sides/shelving units were fine. This was the long one...the biggest one...the one holding the most stuff).

AWESOME. This night is AWESOME!!!

You know the funny part?? Matt, after looking in and seeing what happened and saying "wow, I wonder why it did that?? Man, this sucks" and stuff like that...he CLOSES THE DOOR and gets back in bed!!!! HAHAHAHAHA. MEN!

I was my really calm, "you are about to die if you don't get out of bed" voice, say "um, Matt?? We can't just LEAVE IT like that, because then we will have to WASH AND IRON EVERYTHING THAT IS CURRENTLY BEING CRUSHED BY THE SHELVES. Of course, he heartily agreed, so we spent the next hour carefully carrying everything out of the closet and piling it on the bed in the guest room or in the closet (which has NO ROOM for anything to hang, which meant we had to move boxes of Christmas decor and such out of the way....AWESOME NIGHT).

Matt tried to snap a few pictures, but because at this point we couldn't open the door more than a foot, couldn't really get a good angle:

Those sweaters used to be on top of the shelves...I'd already rescued them and stacked them on the tupperware drawers.

We managed to get all of the broken shelves out and make semi-order of the situation. 
 See that big white wall (with holes Matt patched this morning)? There used to be ALL MY CLOTHES on that wall.

Here's one of the (still intact) 'short' sides of the closet. This is sort of what the long side used to look like, only 3 times as long and it had additional shelves on top of the rack.

And here's the state of our previously-orderly guest room, now holding the entire contents of the Fallen Closet Rack.

OK-- so sorry if this is the most boring blog ever. Just wanted to record how RIDICULOUS last night was, in case I ever start thinking my life is super awesome or anything. Then I can look back and be like "FOR REAL??? Remember October 28th?? That was NOT COOL."

If today is not significantly better, I am for real moving to the Middle East. I am so done with stupid Athens and it's stupid muggers and stupid parking and stupid closets!!


  1. Good choice with the "I'm being stalked" label :)

  2. Arch, singular. I won't hold it against you since you had such a rough night.

  3. When it rains, it pours, eh? (I thought that was an appropriate cliche saying for this post.) But seriously, sorry your night was so lame :(

  4. I'm so sorry! I've been so afraid my closet wire shelving will collapse since there is so much hanging on it, too. I hope you get some fabulously strong shelves so this never happens again!


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