Friday, October 21, 2011

writer's block: through the ages

I feel like I spend a lot of my life dealing with writer's block. Like tonight. I want to blog. I just can't think of anything (non-whiney) to write about. It sucks, because all week long I thought of things to write about, but I had to work late all week and never had time. But now I have time, and nothing to talk about. Boo.

Anyway, as I was perusing old pictures and such (on the computer), trying to think of something to write about, I happened upon an old gem: the entirety of an old blog, downloaded and saved as a text file.

You see, this here spot in the blogosphere ain't my first dance. My first blog was at an old (now-defunct) place called OpenDiary (OD) (which some of you remember well, because some of you were my co-bloggers even then!!! Shout out to the old school bloggers!!). I started blogging there in the year 2000, when I was a senior in high school. OpenDiary disappeared in about 2003, but before they left, they gave everyone the opportunity to download their entire blog history as a text file (actually, pictures on your blogs weren't even an option back then anyway. It was only text). I did that, and occasionally-- like tonight-- will go back and scroll through my old posts. They cover my senior year of high school through sophomore years of college, and it's funny slash embarrassing to re-read them. 

But wouldn't you just know: EVEN THEN, in the 'prime' of my life (let's hope that wasn't actually the prime)...I sometimes experienced writer's block. And one day...May 8, 2001, to be exact...I decided that in lieu of anything better to write about, I'd write a list of factoids and trivia about myself. I guess I don't change much through the years, since I still do boring crap like that all the time! But tonight, just for your Friday night reading pleasure, I thought I'd re-post that old blog entry in its entirety for you. Be forewarned: it's really dorky and EMBARRASSING. I am still deciding whether or not to edit out a few of the most embarrassing statements...only time will tell. I am also going to put any relevant information or current updates about situations to the side in red...just so that you know I'm way cooler now than I was then. Or at least I hope I am.

OMG. I am already embarrassed and we haven't even started. Alright. Brace yourselves, folks. We're going back in time!!!

I, I, I                                            - 5/8/2001

I was writing an essay the other day (for a scholarship, I think).  I went back to look over what I'd written, and I realized that I started something like 9 out of 10 sentences with "I".  ( far in this entry I'm 2 for 2) I think I've had this problem my entire life.  As I look over old OD entries, essays, letters...I start a heck of a lot of sentences with "I." Even if the sentence isn't about me.  So I was laying in bed last night and I decided I'd write an entire entry full of sentences starting with I.  Hopefully I'll say everything I ever wanted to say about myself, and I'll be cured of this. :)  Probably not, but either way...I can't really think of anything better to do. I don't think it cured me. I still start all my sentences with "I."

*I am 5 feet 7 inches tall.  Ever since I was little, I've wanted to be 5 foot 10.

*I have scoliosis, and 4 years ago my orthopedist told me that if my spine were straight, I would be 5 foot 10.  That ticked me off.

*I am a self-proclaimed sunworshipper, and I will probably die of melanoma. I hope not. I shouldn't be so flippant about stuff like that!

*I have not, however, ever been to a tanning bed. Errr...that is no longer a true statement.

*I have absolutely no respect for people who cheat. That bothers me more than anything I can think of.

*I used to be obsessed with the idea of having a twin sister.  It was all I ever thought about.  When I was little, I convinced myself that one day I could get one. (How? Buy her in a store?) I am still obsessed with the idea. That is why I decided to become BFFs/triplets with an already-existing set of twins, Amanda and Allison.

*I drive a red pick-up truck with a cheetah print steering wheel cover. RIP, truck. I miss you, and I will never forgive Matt for throwing away your steering wheel cover.

*I once ran a mile in 8 and a half my knowledge, that's the fastest I've ever ran.  That was in 5th grade. :)

*I used to run hurdles and do the long jump in track, though.  I was better at that.

*I took dance lessons for 13 years and danced competitively for about 5.  I miss it a lot.

*I get extremely jealous of people.  All the time.  I never talk about it, though.

*I never talk about very many of my true, deep down feelings at all, come to think about it. WINNING, I talk about my feelings all the time now!! Woohoo!! High five for emotional growth!

*I used to be a REALLY good speller.  I won the school spelling be in 2nd grade, and competed every other year through 7th grade.  But for some reason...I suck at it now.  I think my spelling vocabulary stopped in 7th grade. I don't SUCK at spelling. I'm just not extremely awesome anymore.

*I do, though, have a huge vocabulary, and I love to use big words.  I just can't spell them.

*I am obsessed with Gone With the Wind.  I've read the book 4 or 5 times, and seen the movie a million.  I own several collectible-type things, but am just in general fascinated everything GWTW-related. I am not really obsessed anymore. But I still love the book and movie.

*I think that may have something to do with the fact that I am a die-hard Southerner and far-right conservative. THIS STATEMENT IS SO EMBARRASSING I WANT TO DIE. Why don't you just throw a rebel flag over my coffin when I'm gone, mmkay?? Suffice it to say, this statement no longer applies. I don't think it even applied then, I just thought I wanted it to to fit in with...I don't know, rednecks??? AHHHHHH.

*I am allergic to benzyl peroxide and everything outside.

*I hate Spanish with a passion. No I don't. I speak it every day and wish I spoke it better!

*I (okay, not just me, my whole family) breed miniature snauzers. Original misspelling left intact. And we not longer breed them.

*I believe in the power of prayer.  In January of 1999 my mom took my cat to the vet cause she was getting really skinny and all her hair was falling out.  (By the way, my cat is the love of my life) The vet said Kitty had a heart condition and would not live past July.  I cried for two days and never stopped praying.  Well, as I speak my cat is asleep on my bed, robust at 10 pounds and with a body full of fur.  God likes cats. :)

*I used to have panic attacks almost every day.  It's the worst thing in the world. Oooh it is, and I'm really glad I hardly ever have them any more.

*I can't ever figure out what kind of "girl" I am.  I'm not a tomboy...but I'm not a girly-girl. I like to wear makeup and go shopping, but I HATE that high-pitched, whiney "OH IT'S SO CUUUUTE" crap.  I think it's fun to talk about boys and stuff for like...10 minutes.  I cannot stay up all night doing it. Haha, I can't stay up all night doing ANYTHING!

*I love to "one-up" people..but I try not to do it outloud, because it really annoys me when other people do it!

*I learned to read when I was 3 years old.  It was the best thing I've ever done.  It is still my favorite passtime.

*I will not marry a man who doesn't wear khaki's at least once a week. Sorry, it's a standard. I'm pretty sure somewhere between ages 18 and 24, when I actually GOT married, I lowered my standards. :)

*I always set all of my standards waaaay too high...and I am often disappointed. I don't feel disappointed when Matt doesn't wear khakis. I like his jeans better.

*I don't like when people whine a lot.  I's not perfect, but it's a lot better if you don't always complain about how much it sucks.

*I don't like to talk on the phone about nothing. SO TRUE TIMES TEN THOUSAND

*I am having a lot of fun sitting here being conceited when I should be working on my project. :)

*I am eighteen years old and I have never been kissed. LOL EMBARRASSING!

*I have extremely long everything.  Long hair, long fingers, long toes, long feet.  I get a lot of grief for it, too. I miss you, long hair. Sigh.

*I have never had a nickname.  Not even a "shortened version of your name" nickname.  My name doesn't shorten to anything.  It's kinda depressing! but I don't lose too much sleep over it.

*I hate the winter and cold weather.

*I love the town I live in and can picture spending the rest of my life here (except for college)

Okay.  I really can't think of anything else to write about myself.  Maybe I'm cured.  Really, I need to go write another chapter ("Criminal Psychology: Are Criminals Inherently Different?").  Hope yall didn't get too bored!!


AHHHH. So glad that's over. I am turning red with embarrassment over some statements. I'll have you know I only deleted ONE, so the above blog is ALMOST in its entirety. :) Please now be a nice friend (if you've made it this far, you are probably long lost identical twin...this is LONG...) and reassure me that you, too, were really dorky and goofy and lame when you were 18. Please. I feel all alone here.

Goodnight, and thanks for traveling through time with me on this exciting Friday night!!


  1. I am fairly confident that I was equally as dork and goofy and lame when I was 18, but thank the good Lord I didn't have a "blog" back then to prove it :) This is awesome! I really love the part about how you are obsessed with the idea of having an identical twin sister. It is pretty sweet, I must admit. You need to post more of these!

  2. Awesome. I had an open diary also, but somehow didn't get the memo about keeping it around in text form. I don't know that I'd like to be reminded of my innermost thoughts from high school.


  3. Hi Erika! I've been reading your blog for a while now and I think you are so funny! Allison and Amanda are two of my best friends and favorite people! We went to college together. You remind me SO much of them which must be why I like your blog so much. Just wanted to say hi and say thanks for making me laugh on a Friday night!! :)

  4. Ahhh so many thoughts! Ok one, I agree with Allison- I love that you have become our honorary triplet :)

    Two - I have never seen Gone With the Wind. Does that make you sad for me?

    Three - I like that your cat was "the love of your life." Too bad Matt came along and ruined that.

    Four - I don't have nicknames either!

  5. This is amazing.

    and how did I not know you had panic attacks?

    good ol' Open Diary. I don't have mine saved and I am kind of glad. If I recall, my entire Open Diary consisted of really melodramatic, bad poetry. And that would just be too embarrassing.

  6. this was fun to read, erika! i had an actual (handwritten) journal from high school that i would die if anyone read. i learned some things about you that i did not know. so whatever happened to your cat?

  7. Oh, OD. You know that it's still there, right? I go back and read mine and think, "Wow. YOu were sooooooo 14 when you wrote that." So yeah. Yours? So not as embarrassing as it could be. :)


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