reasons why i'm not going

(For the record, this is blog #299.75. Yep, still playing that game!)


Guess what's going on this weekend?


My 10 year high school reunion.


Guess where I am?


Here. As in...not there. Not going. I'm not going.


Me!!! The one who has been eagerly anticipating her 10-year reunion since like...5 minutes after we graduated!


I was looking forward to this night (weekend) 10 years ago. And 5 years ago. And one year ago.  But then sometime in the past 6 months...since tickets actually started going on sale and we started getting 18 Facebook notifications per week regarding the reunion...I changed my mind.


In case you can't tell, I am still totally on the fence about whether I'm making the right choice. To be honest, I don't even feel like I really 'chose.' It's more like...I waffled, hemmed-and-hawwed, and debated until...until it was really too late to choose to go. Until it was today, and I found myself not driving to Augusta for the homecoming game. Until I made other plans for tomorrow, that didn't involve being at a country club in Augusta.


I have a few good reasons why I was/am reluctant to go. They're not especially good reasons...they're just some random excuses. I know I better write them down now, while they're fresh...otherwise in a year (or 5 minutes from now, when people start posting pics from the game) I'll be looking back and wondering what was I THINKING???! Why did I skip out on THAT??!


1. Facebook. And blogs, and texting, and emails, and anything else that makes keeping in touch with people pretty dang easy. My close friends from high school? I'm still friends with them. I know (more or less) what's going on in their lives. I can easily contact them in a variety of ways any time I want. We hang out sometimes. So I don't need to go to a reunion to see them.


My 'acquaintances' from HS? Well, back when Facebook started, you friended EVERYONE you'd ever known...meaning, we're all 'friends' on FB! Therefore, most of the people I 'loosely' knew in HS...I pretty much know what they're up to these days, too. I know who got married, who got divorced, who has kids, and how obsessed with their kids they are. :) Some of these acquaintances have even become more like 'real' friends, via blogging and FBing. If they were at the reunion, it would probably be fun to see them. However, judging by the RSVPs...not many of them will be.


And all the other people? The people I knew 'of,' but didn't know? The people I never knew? (I graduated with roughly 500 people)...well...not to be rude, but I don't really care that much to see them now, either. I really don't mean that to be unkind. It's just...there's nothing to really 'rekindle' or reminisce about...we'd just be strangers brushing elbows at a country club instead of in the tunnel at school.


Long story short-- Facebook has taken away the 'mystery' factor...the "I wonder what she's up to?..." factor. I don't have to go to a reunion to find out. I already know. 


2. I'm socially awkward. I mean, probably not the worst you've ever met...but schmoozing at a cocktail party is really not my thing. I would definitely be the one hiding out in the corner with my husband and the 3 or 4 people I'm good friends with. And if that's all I'm going to do, then why bother paying a bunch of money to do that in the presence of a bunch of other people? We could just hang out for free somewhere else.


I'm not knocking the reunion itself. It sounds exactly like I've always envisioned a reunion would be. There's a band and everything!! It's just...I always enjoy these things more in my head than I do in real life. And even in my head, all that small talk just feels awkward.


3. Infertility. Come on. You knew I couldn't go a whole blog without mentioning it, right?? But it's true. Let's just pretend I did go. Stretch your imagination a little further and let's pretend I was actually walking around and talking to people (instead of hiding in a corner). How do you think those conversations are going to go? I'm guessing we cut to the "so do you guys want to have kids?" question in about 2.3 seconds flat. I might be able to handle that once. But 10 times? 30 times? In the presence of a bunch of girls my age, many of them sporting their 'bumps'? How long do you think it would take me to have a nervous breakdown? I'm being generous by guessing I'd last half an hour.


This scenario also leaves me hanging out in a corner (or bathroom) stall alone, this time also probably crying. Lovely.




Those are the major reasons that led me to decide that not-going was probably the best choice for me. I can definitely imagine myself majorly regretting this decision in the near future. I'm holding out major hope that it goes really well and that the class officers decide it was worth it and will start planning a 15 year one so that I have the opportunity for a re-do in the not-so-distant future.


In the meantime, I'm trying to make the weekend as un-lame as possible. So far, God seems to be on my side (and everyone's side, for that matter), since He is providing us with some FRIGGIN AWESOME FALL WEATHER for the weekend. We're talking lows (at night, of course) in the FORTIES and highs in the low SEVENTIES/high sixties!!!! This is definitely a first for the season, and a very welcome one. I look forward to watching football, spending time with friends, and enjoying a bonfire tomorrow night.


And in between all that, I'll probably be compulsively checking Facebook for reunion updates and pictures. I loved high school. I seriously can't believe I'm skipping my reunion. I think I already need to re-read this post to remember why I'm staying home...ugh!