the winning-est, boring-est weekend

Yall, I am totally full of WIN this weekend. And I am simultaneously being sarcastic and for real. Let's share a few of my winning-est moments.

First of all, the other night I somehow managed to change the language of my autocorrect on my phone to...French. Or maybe it's Italian. Basically, it's a romance language that isn't English or Spanish. So as though autocorrect isn't already annoying enough...imagine how fun it is now that it keeps suggesting that what I'm actually trying to say is...some weird word in another language? Nope, pretty sure that's not what I was going for, but thanks for suggesting it. Apparently the button that toggles between languages is very easy to hit, cause I keep doing it. At least I know how to change it back, now. The first time it happened was right after I got my phone and it changed it to CHINESE and that's how it stayed for weeks. I wanted to cry. It changed half my words to CHARACTERS. Anyways. I didn't notice this French-thing this time until the other night when I was re-reading a comment I'd already posted on a friend's blog and noticed half the words MADE NO SENSE. On the plus side, maybe people will think I'm very exotic and fluent in so many languages that I get them mixed up. Yep, that's it.

 OK, so moving on to Winning Moments in Food.

Last night I cooked my first salmon recipe. You guys totally pulled through on the recipe recommendations I begged for here and I plan on trying all of them. I started with Lisa's suggestion (go read her comment for the recipe) last night because it a) looked easy and b) only required purchasing one other thing (in addition to the salmon, of course). YALL. It was SO GOOD. Normally I approach salmon kind of like I approach giant vitamins. It's good for you. If absolutely necessary for survival, you can ingest it by throwing it to the very back of your mouth and chasing with a giant cup of water. Try to miss all the taste buds and also try not to gag on it. Basically, I'm not a fan.

But last night? I was savoring every bite, licking my plate, snitching bites of Matt's when his back was turned. It was AWESOME! So you should go make yourself some salmon a la Lisa.

Today I continued expanding horizons by making a green smoothie. Apparently they're all the rage on Pinterest, plus my friend Kristin convinced me I should try it. I'm a big fan of spinach and all, but I just didn't see that being good all blended up with fruit. Happily, I was wrong! I forgot to take a picture, but that's okay because it was an extremely unappetizing shade of greenish-brown, so it wouldn't have convinced you to try it anyway. Basically I just blended up a few handfuls of organic spinach with a tiny bit of water until it turned into green goo, then threw in a banana, a handful of frozen strawberries, and some ice. It was super good and tasted like strawberry banana and nothing like spinach. And it was healthy. So...way to go, green smoothie!

So Matt and I have been sick for what feels like forever. It was just me, starting last weekend, continuing til the present day. And then he apparently caught it or something around Thursday, and now he's worse off than me. The thing about Matt and sickness is that his always look more legit than mine because he always runs a fever. I NEVER run a fever. The last time I remember running a fever was in 2003. In Guatemala. Other than that, no way (then again, thanks to years of compulsive BBT, I know that my regular body temperature is much lower than average...so maybe my version of a fever is just lower than everyone else's). Anyways, I'm kind of jealous of Matt's fevers because people totally believe that you're sick if you have a fever. They only believe I'm sick when they hear me cough for 2 hours without stopping and witness me hitting up my inhaler every 3 minutes. Which has been how most of the week has gone.

ANYWAY. So we are miserable of being stuck at home and I miss Zumba like crazy and actually was just watching videos of Zumba on Youtube last night (not doing it, because you have to be able to breathe to do Zumba...just watching) and I have been very sad to not get to work out at all this week. So this morning I decided that since it was bright and sunny and 60 degrees, I would mow the grass. This way I could get some exercise, be outside, but not be far from home in case I totally could not handle it. It was a great plan, and while mowing I noticed that this unusually warm winter has tricked all of the flowers into thinking it's actually spring...so they've decided to start blooming about 3 months early. Ugh. It totally stresses me out because I'm sure it's going to freeze again and then they will all die and it will totally ruin the spring bloom. But anyway. At least I had a chance to try my hand at flower photography!

 ...aaaand, the verdict is: I suck at flower photography. But hopefully I will get better before the real flowers start blooming.

Finally (I know, I had no idea this was going to be so long, either!), a little while ago I was perusing Pinterest and noticed that people were pinning this:

 

Source: crafterhours.blogspot.com via Megan on Pinterest

So I checked out the tutorial and it looked pretty easy, so I decided to real quick whip up one of my old t-shirts into a tanktop! You may recall that I have a huge shortage of tanktops in my life...

 Cute, huh??! And yes, I should probably invest in some non-white thread. But let's be honest: even if I had it, I had NO interest in changing out the thread in my sewing machine and bobbin and all that nonsense. I'm just going to make a trend out of having white thread on bright tshirts. Whatever. So now this old tshirt that I'd stopped wearing can have new life in Zumba class. Whenever I go back. When I can breathe on my own again. Someday.

And don't even THINK about judging me-- the reason the bed looks all messy is because the sheets are in the wash! I make the bed first thing in the morning every single day! But not if the sheets are in the wash, because that would be a total waste of time to make it up sans sheets.

Anyway. Well, apparently I'm even more bored than I thought, considering how long I just rambled on about nothing. In conclusion: To properly entertain yourself for the rest of this weekend, you should a) change your phone language to French, b) make some salmon and green smoothies, c) try to improve your photography skills, and d) re-invent some nasty old tshirts. And bonus points for e) leaving me an entertaining comment so that I don't go absolutely insane spending the 28913th night in a row at home with only a sickie to entertain me.