bangin'

 Warning: I cannot be held responsible for writing and sharing this post. I blame the extremely ridiculously obnoxiously hot weather. Your eyes are not going to be able to un-see what they're about to witness, and for that I apologize. Proceed with caution.

I've been wearing bangs for a good bit of my life. I had them from birth (or whenever I first grew hair, I suppose) until the summer before 8th grade, then took the long-hair-no-bangs route for about the next ten or twelve years, and now have had bangs for another five-ish years (got them again shortly after we got married). Like all other forms of fashion, bangs go through seasons of popularity- and even within those seasons, the styles evolve.

"Style" being a subjective term.

 During my early and formative fashion years, the "style" (or at least my style) was the big feathered bangs. Anyone remember these? I tried to find some (already scanned, cause no way in HADES am I going into my oven attic to dig out better ones) pictures showcasing the Big Bangs of the 90s:

As you can tell from that second picture, I was frequently rocking a perm as well...no doubt the reason I was sooooo popular and had sooooo many boyfriends. HAHAHAHA. Bless my heart. (Also, I was about 9 feet tall in 5th grade. That wasn't awkward at all. And by 9 feet tall, I mean 5'7...the same as I am now...only I was in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.)

Current day bangs. Probably need a trim, but basically look like this.

Anyways, luckily, in more recent years my bangs have been much more socially acceptable (at least by today's standards, but who knows what I'll think about them looking back in 20 years!)...but for some reason, over the last week or so, I've had a recurring thought pass through my mind (blame the heat): I wonder if I could still get my bangs to do that?

Why I would want them to look like that? No idea. It looked bad then, it's probably gonna look bad now. But it's just been weighing heavy on my mind. EMBRACE THE 90s AGAIN, ERIKA!!!! At least this time around I already have the boy, so there's one less burden on my mind, right?

So yesterday it was about one zillion degrees outside (okay, actually it was only 108...not that you can tell the difference) and upon running out of things to do indoors, I decided to make all my dreams come true and bring back my 90s bangs. It was crazy how all the steps just came back to me, like I'd never stopped teasing them in the first place. And I made a tutorial for you, in case you find yourself wanting to do the same...because I think the results speak for themselves.

Step 1: Split your bangs into two halves- top and bottom.

Step 2: Curl the top section backwards. Give it a spritz of hairspray (Aquanet if you have it, which I didn't, but that would be highly preferred by Southern girls of the 90s)-- these bangs will need some help to stay high and proud!

  
Step 3: Curl bottom section down; spray.

Step 4: Use fingers and comb and more hairspray to tease to desired height. 

 Step 5: Laugh your face off when unsuspecting husband comes into bathroom and looks at you with horror, saying "Are they REAL??" Remind him that all good Southern women live by the mantra the higher the hair, the closer to God, and you're just doing your part to remain close to God.

Step 6: Continue laughing, posing, and snapping pictures of yourself until you lose interest and spray down bangs with water to resume Normal 2012 Bangs.

Step 7: Post pictures on the internet to make a fool out of yourself.

Done and done. 

What awesome fashion trend from the past should I re-visit next?? A perm? An open flannel shirt over every outfit? Purchasing all future t-shirts in a XXL? So many choices, so little time...