vacation observations

Well...we're back. Back to America, to our non-vacation reality, to boo-hiss-regular-life. You can probably guess how I feel about that situation:

We felt like this as we sat in the lobby of our resort, waiting for our shuttle to come pick us up this morning. Boo. Vacation is over. BOOOOOOOO. Thankfully, our travels home went off without a hitch, so at least there's that. Am I the only one who has Brokedown Palace-inspired nightmares about international travel? I swear that movie scarred me for life. Anyway, instead of complaining (you know, the only thing I'm truly great at in life), I thought I would share with you a few observations and tips I gathered on my trip this week. Ya know, in case you were thinking of traveling (especially to a Mexican resort) anytime in the near future...maybe this will come in handy. Or at least enlightening/humorous.

1. You can leave your Big Girl Camera at home. Now THAT was a depressing realization, but here's the thing: the temperature/humidity change that occurs when you take your camera (in its case) from your extremely air-conditioned room (more on that later) out into the extremely hot and humid outside air causes all KINDS of fog to appear on all KINDS of lenses that you apparently can't reach (to clear them) unless you care to completely dissemble your camera (which you won't, since there is sand everywhere). I saw other people with their DSLRs outside and asked how on earth they were able to get any pictures that didn't look like this:

 ...and they all agreed that it was the sudden temp/humidity change causing the problem, and the only solution is to give your camera a long, long time (like an hour) of just sitting outside, and it will adjust to the temperature and the fog will clear. So unless you just feel like sitting outside with your camera for an hour (trying to avoid all water and sand)...then don't bother. Therefore 95% of our (non-foggy) pictures are from my phone. I was particularly bummed because we hauled our dang TRIPOD all the way there, just KNOWING we were going to have such fantastic beach shots...no dice. We did set up the tripod once, in our room, because I refused to NOT use it. So we took some pre-dinner shots.

 Not sure why Matt busted out the pregnancy/prom hand for that last shot. Read nothing into it.

2. The iguana situation is out of control in Cancun. For real now. Those things are running as wild as squirrels and deer run in Georgia. Only they're a lot more dragon-like. Oh, and Erika-like...as in, they can normally be found basking in the sun and/or checking out plants. Hopefully Matt did not break any laws by taking it upon himself to feed them:

3. This one is a biggie, yall. We need to discuss the BATHING SUIT BOTTOM COVERAGE NORMS I observed in Cancun. Here in the good ol' US, most women at beaches/resorts/public places where people wear bathing suits stick to, shall we say, a more full-coverage bottom? Even if it may have string ties on the sides, or be of the low-rise persuasion, the SEAT is...covered. NOT SO, my friends, in Mexico. NOT SO. Matt and I had our eyes assaulted MANY times with buns of all shapes and sizes (and degrees of cellulite). And I'm not JUDGING the buns of all types...because I can go ahead and tell you, if MY buns were out there on display, they would not be winning any prizes (except maybe the one for "whitest", or "greatest color contrast with the rest of her body", or "least cute") but...well, possibly that's why I keep 'em covered up with a nice piece of fabric on my ol' bikini bottom. I haven't heard myself singing Thong Song this many times since my senior prom (thank you, band at the senior prom for that lovely 45-minute-long rendition, by the way. It was awesome.). And the funny thing was that the demographic of the bethonged was as wide and varied as the asses on display: in addition to the expected early-20s, looking-for-attention-type-girls, there were moms playing with their kids...grandmas playing with their grandkids...oh Lord help us all. It was equal parts scary and hilarious. Just sayin'. If you're headed to Mexico, be prepared to see something special.

4. Since #3 would be a scary note to finish on, let's throw in one last observation/tip before you travel to Mexico: Figure out Celsius temperatures before you go, lest you FREEZE TO DEATH trying to guess what temperature you might like your room to be while you sleep.

Hello, arch-nemesis.

 I'm sure I learned a formula to convert Fahrenheit to Celsius at some point in my illustrious educational career, but obviously I don't remember it. Therefore, when presented with the thermostat pictured above, I figured that somewhere in the middle would be just fine...since I'm all about the moderation. Unfortunately, that would be wrong, since setting it somewhere in the middle means that you wake up with frostbite. What the heck, dude? Why can't we all just use Fahrenheit? Sheeeeesh. Also, I just LOOKED UP (because I'm all about furthering my own education), and 10 degrees C would be 50 degrees F...who in the world would set their thermostat at 50 degrees???!!?!! Like...Santa and the elves, vacationing in Cancun, wanting a taste of the Motherland?? What the heck, dude??!

And with that, you should be allllll set for your own upcoming trip to the best place on Earth, the Caribbean. And if you don't have an upcoming trip there (like me, now)...then we can all mourn that fact together. And yet silently rejoice in the fact that at least we won't be assaulted by unsolicited buns in our faces tomorrow...so, at least there's that.