a really important list

So today I gave in and stayed home sick. I don't know why I went to work yesterday. Obviously I'm a control freak. Going to work caused me to become 28729 times sicker than I was. Seriously. My chest started feeling extra tight by the end of the day: a sign I need to use my inhaler, right? Unfortunately, my inhaler was at home. I hardly ever need it...and so it somehow doesn't crack the list of "things important enough to add weight to my purse" (even though my purse weighs like 40 pounds anyway)...15 different chapsticks? They make the cut. The inhaler, which could theoretically save my life? Nah, it lives at home in the gym bag. Seriously, how did someone let ME be in control of my life?

Anyway, so I'm driving home with a quickness because I can't like, inhale all the way. Naturally, I assume I will probably get pulled over, so I was pre-planning my explanation. I seriously can't breathe, officer. Can you just follow me to my house and write me a ticket after I get my inhaler? Or maybe it would have been better to just hop in his car and let him drive me to my house really fast, sirens and all! And then he could give me a lift back later? I dunno. I didn't have all the details worked out, but luckily the cop scenario never materialized, so I didn't have to worry about it. I made it home and took some beautiful puffs of albuterol and then proceeded to spend the rest of the night feeling like crap. Lucky for me, I got all my ducks in a row at work before I left yesterday so that I could be okay with staying home sick today. Which is good, since I've now completely lost my voice and would be useless in a room of four-year-olds anyway.

So since I'm lying around here like a big old sack of useless, I've had plenty of time to make a list. This is a really special list, because it's a list of Things I Would Like to Pay Someone to Do For Me If I Had Money. A mouthful, I know. The thing is: I don't really want to do these things. Even if I felt well enough. These are just the things that need to get done (today, or in general)...that I don't wanna do. And as I was hanging out with my girlfriends from Beverly Hills and New Jersey earlier...I noticed that they can just hire people to do these things (and more) for them. Now that would be nice.  

1. Clean the house. That probably seems generic, but it's true. When you're laying on the couch, you have plenty of time to notice the piles of dog hair on all of the baseboards and the dust on the bookshelves. That seriously needs to be remedied. But not by me.

2. Make me some tea. I know this doesn't seem like a hard job, but it's a lot of steps. First, someone would need to unload the dishwasher, because we're out of spoons and mugs. Then make the water hot. Then put the teabag in. Then...I dunno, there's a lot more steps, and it exhausts me to think about all of them. Basically, someone needs to come deal with all that so that I can have some relief in my throat.

3. Walk Lola. Matt walked her this morning, but it was raining pretty hard and he said she didn't really go. I don't want her to have an accident, because then someone would have to come clean it up. So if I could pay someone to come walk her, that would be great.

4. Pay bills. I'm pretty sure there are some due on the 15th, but I really don't feel like dealing with that.

5. Erase stuff from the DVR. You would THINK that someone whose entire day has amounted to lying on the couch could handle mashing a few buttons on a remote, but no. Because you have to make judgment calls about the things you're deleting. Have you watched it yet? Has Matt? Do you want to? Does he? That's a lot of thinking. But it needs to be done, because there's only like 10% free.

6. Give me a mani-pedi. My fingers and toes are lookin' SICK. Someone please fix them.

7. Make some Shutterfly photo books. I really need to be working on these for Christmas...but it seems like a lot of work.

 I think that's all I need for now. Also, thanks for all the positive feedback about me and Catherine's BSC night. I'm glad we can all bond over the defining book series of the late 80s/early 90s. Actually, here's a little trivia and question for you. To help you make it through your Tuesday and all.

In third grade, my BFFs and I "were" the BSC. As in, we each "were" a character, and we would have "meetings" and sleepovers where we would dress as our character, act like our character, and...I dunno, play pretend like kids do. Anyone want to guess which character I was?

We may or may not have been SO FOR REAL about this thing that we always called each other by our character names. On the bus, at school...wherever. I was never Erika. I was _______. I'm just hazarding a guess here, but I bet other kids thought we were really weird.