For the record, I am still a champion swinger. On a swingset. Not any...other...kind of swinging.
Anyway. So it was a relaxing and enjoyable mini-vacay to Charlotte...UNTIL NEW YEARS DAY.
Beware, kids. Things are about to get explicit.
I was innocently doing my makeup, which is- for the record- still basically my favorite part of the day, thanks to recent investments in overpriced, not-overhyped makeup. (Relatedly, I should be purchasing stock in Sephora...) So basically, I'm in my happy place. Game on. Nothing could distract me.
So I'm not at all sure how this happened. Didn't know then, still don't know now. But somehow, there was An Incident. With my eyelash curler. An eyelash curler I've had for years and never had any sort of trouble with. And now...this? Why, friend? I thought we were happy together!
I'm standing there, curler clamped down on my right eye's lashes, when all of a sudden my hand jerked and twisted.
While clamped to my upper lashes.
Which hurt like CRAP, if you can imagine. Because I basically tugged my eyelid out a few inches before I could react and let go of the lashes in the curler. So my eye is stinging/throbbing and I'm confusedly trying to figure out what just happened...and then I look down at the curler still in my hand. The curler that was still holding basically half my eyelashes, viciously jerked out of my eyelids by the root!!!!!!!
YOOOOOWWWWWW! Then it really hurt, and I couldn't stop staring at my eyelashes. That were no longer attached to my eyes.
So yes, I now have a half-bald upper eyelid. If you have a strong stomach, take a gander:
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Oh my gosh. Looking at the picture makes my stomach turn. OWWWWW. And I'm baaaald!!! Except for those two scrawny stragglers. Scary. Of course, Matt claims you can't tell. I beg to differ. I feel like my whole face is lopsided due to the loss of weight on the one side. (Which is definitely the only weight loss I experienced over the holidays...yikes times two. Why can't eyelashes weigh like 20 pounds? Then there would be a silver lining.)
So there's my First Horror Story of 2013. Is it wrong to hope that there won't be many to follow? I don't need mishaps like this defining my days and casting a gloomy pallor over my beloved Makeup Time.
For the record, I did abide by the "get back on the horse" mantra and use the wretched curler today. But first I gave it a long hard stare, shaming it into submission. And then I used it real quick-like and threw it back in the makeup box. Whew.
Um...you've made the RN speechless! Looks incredibly painful. My eyelashes are practically my friends, so I would be mourning their loss :( I might considering naming them after your horror story.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. I can understand how painful that would be. Stupid eyelash curler.
ReplyDeletehahahaha… I shouldn't laugh, I know. It does sound horribly painful, but "I gave it a long, hard stare, shaming it into submission." hahaha! I hope that darn curler has learned it's lesson. I'll admit that in the close up, you can tell, but I bet with some nice eyeliner, anyone not within 3 inches of your eye will never notice!
ReplyDeleteOh, you need a heated eyelash curler! Works great AND no clamping so you can protect your other lashes. :) Will send you a link!!
ReplyDeleteWow that made me cringe. I freak out when I lose one eyelash! There is just something horribly disturbing about pulling out a tuft of eyelashes. Ha!
ReplyDeleteYou're one of my favorite storyteller bloggers. Never stop writing like this. :)
ReplyDeleteEek that does sound painful... glad you survived to tell the tale (and show a pic)!
ReplyDeleteThankfully it didn't rip out ALL of the upper eyelashes - that would have been brutal. How quickly do eyelashes grow back, anyway?!
ReplyDeleteYikes indeed! I'm thinking at the very least that it's time for your old not-so-trusty eyelash curler to hit the trash. You can get a replacement for like $3. Then you won't have to worry that he was at fault and might try something similar again some day.
ReplyDeleteUm, ouch. That looks seriously painful.
ReplyDeleteI used to babysit a little girl that would yank her eyelashes out for fun. It made her look so strange! Be forewarned that the new lashes growing back in will itch like crazy. Apparently that's why the little girl kept yanking them out!
ReplyDeleteOuch. . . the things we women go through right? I don't think our hubbies will ever quite appreciate it. :)
ReplyDeleteOuch! Totally done that before. How dare that eyelash curler infringe on your happy make up time... I think you deserve a special prize from Sephora for all that trauma!
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time (circa 1987) I got bored during nap time in kindergarten and pulled out all of my eye lashes on both eyes to pass the time. I think it kicked off a childhood of sadistic when bored tendencies...like boring a hole in my toenail with the sharp point of a compass doing math homework in 9th grade. Anywho, my mom said it took a very long time to grow those puppies back. But they did come back in full force once they finally decided to sprout. Only did that once. Tell you're curler not to become a repeat offender.
ReplyDeleteOuch! Hope your eyelid has recovered and that your lovely lashes grow back quickly!
ReplyDeleteWhat on earth? Did you have a seizure while curling your lashes?
ReplyDeleteIs it wrong that I giggled at the end? I wasn't laughing at you, promise. I was giggling and thinking, "God, why did you make TWO so very accident prone people? Erika and I aren't even RELATED!"
I'm with the people who want to know how long it will take them to grow back in. Also I'm very impressed that you were brave enough to use the offending eyelash curler again the next day. Way to get back on the (metaphorical) horse!
ReplyDeleteI have a phobia about chopping my eyelashes off with my curler. I curl them oh so gingerly because of such horror stories!
ReplyDeleteAhhh! This is exactly why I refuse to use one of those things! That much metal does not need to be anywhere near my eye!! Yikes!
ReplyDelete