But deep in my heart, I'm a rebel. Every day I live out my tiny, secret resistance. And nobody knows. Well, until now.
Behold: my one-woman cultural resistance against...against nothing. I don't even have a cause I'm carrying a banner for. These are just the things that have come to light in recent (or not-so-recent) days that apparently make me 'different' (I prefer to think of it as 'special') from most of the other folks in my peer group. Ha.
1. I haven't seen Frozen.
AND-- I've never even heard the song 'Let it Go.' I KNOW. Some of you are probably jealous, based on how much people complain on Facebook about being sick of that song. I don't know why anyone would be shocked that I haven't seen Frozen, really. I don't have kids. I don't babysit. We're firmly in camp DINK, even if not by choice, and camp DINK doesn't choose to spend $25 and a Saturday night being camped out in a movie theater full of crying three-year-olds who have to run past your legs to the potty every 12 seconds. To be honest, I have no problem with Frozen and have every intention of seeing it. I'm sure I'll love it, just like I love all the other Disney movies. It's just that people seem utterly shocked when they hear I haven't seen it yet. Really? Really. Okay then.
2. I haven't upgraded the operating system on my iPhone.
That's right, kiddos. Take a walk down memory lane. Look at those lovely old icons! The dull, non-cartoonish colors!! A few weeks ago, a coworker noticed my phone and practically weeped as she begged to scroll through my icons and folders, reminiscing about the good old days. Apparently my phone is some kind of museum now. Whatever. I mean, I didn't upgrade when the new OS first came out because I figured there'd be tons of bugs and it would be annoying. I wanted to wait a few weeks to get the kinks worked out. Now we're past the point of waiting...I'll probably just keep rocking this OS until I get a new phone (in like, a year). Why mess with a good thing?
3. I haven't read Harry Potter.
Pretty much the only reason I'm still holding out on this one is to bother my friend Mollyanne. Ha. No one on earth cares about anything as much as Mollyanne cares that I haven't read Harry Potter. I wouldn't want to take that away from her. I'm not sure how I slipped through the cracks on this one, really. I have nothing against them. I'm 100% sure I'd love them, as they're right up my YA-loving alley. I think the main fear is that I know that once I start, it'll take a long time to get through all 7 of them (7? Right?) and in the meantime, think of all the other books I won't be able to read? Opportunity cost? I don't know. It doesn't make much sense, really. I need to do it. If I had them on Kindle, I'd be much more likely to make the commitment, because like...those books are really big, and if I have to get them in hardback from the library...ugh. Huge. Who wants to lug that around for weeks on end? Not me. Wah wah wah.
4. I've never played Candy Crush.
I know!!! What did I DOOOOO with my life all those months that everyone else on earth did NOTHING BUT PLAY CANDY CRUSH ALL THE TIME?? I don't know. Probably sit alone and catch up on some five-year-old cultural phenomenon I'd missed out on the first time around. I really have no regrets on this one. How could I regret not having wasted dozens of hours on a phone game? Exactly. I don't plan to catch up on this one, either.
I would feel a lot more high and mighty about this particular one except that last night I downloaded 2048. So...now I'm like one for two on Super Addictive Phone Games, I guess. Oh well. For the record, 2048 is awesome and I feel like it's a more intelligent game than CC, so I give myself props for that. I mean, there're numbers. Math? Right? Right. Also, although I've played quite a few rounds of 2048 by now, I'm still not entirely sure I understand what I'm doing. That's bad, right? Like, I get it? But then...sometimes the blocks all do something I didn't expect, which makes me think...maybe I don't actually get it. Oh well. I'll keep trying anyway. What's a good score? I have no basis for comparison here, so I'm not sure if I'm even doing good or not. Help me out, other sell-out people!
5. I do not and WILL NOT 'put a bird on it.'
SERIOUSLY, people of America. STOP ALREADY WITH THE CUTESY BIRDS ON EVERYTHING. This particular resistance is becoming increasingly hard to maintain, since I don't happen to make all of my own clothing, accessories, and home decor. But maybe I should. Or maybe I'll have to start looking at vintage stores to find a tshirt that doesn't have a damn 'adorable' owl on it somewhere. Good GRIEF! Staying strong on this issue was particularly vexing when we were trying to get the nursery ready in the fall. HOLY COW. Finding a non-bird-emblazoned baby item was next to impossible. It's gross. I can't wait for everyone else to move on past this sick obsession with gross, germy, hateful, disgusting air rodents.
In fact, I think that I'll just go hole up in a cave with a stack of Harry Potter books, a Frozen DVD, and 2048...yall let me know when the world has gotten over birds and moved on to the next big thing that I'll probably miss out on. Thanks!