people of craigslist

Over the years, Matt and I have collected a number of small kitchen appliances that we never use. A few weeks ago, as Matt noticed the stack of unopened, still in their original packaging appliances taking up valuable real estate on the garage shelves, he suggested that we try selling them on Craigslist. I personally find selling things on Craigslist to be a huge pain, but since he was willing to head up the effort, I agreed. Less boxes and more cash is always a good thing, right?

In theory.

Unfortunately, selling things on Craigslist means you have to come into contact with people who are shopping on Craigslist. I'm sure that 98% of the folks shopping on Craigslist are completely normal, sane folks just looking for a deal. I mean, I shop on Craigslist. I'm not crazy. You shop on Craigslist. You're normal, too. But that 2%?? THEY ALL WANT MY APPLIANCES. (I promise that what we're selling is nothing weird. Totally normal, boring, unexciting things that you could easily purchase anywhere. Just...things we don't personally use or need to own.)

When I think of 'crazy Craigslist people,' my mind immediately jumps to serial killers or people looking to meet single girls in a dark alley to sell a lamp or something. And this particular Craigslist go-round hasn't disappointed in that regard.

Meet Reggie.

Reggie wants to buy my $15 appliance. Unlike the 5 annoying people before him, he doesn't even want to haggle over the price. But he really really wants us to meet up. He sent a series of emails throughout the weekend ('is it still available?' 'when can we meet up?' 'hello??') which I patiently tried to answer. With all of the appliances, I clearly stated in the ads that we live in ______ (small town outside of Athens) and work in downtown Athens. Therefore we could meet in either town (or somewhere in between) depending on the time of day. So this guy really really wants to buy the appliance in Athens. Great. Monday, buddy. Monday you can buy it. I'll be in Athens, where I work in a very busy public place and am comfortable walking outside or across the street and meeting a stranger.

At around 11:00 a.m., Reggie texts me. Can u meet me now? Sure, fine. I can walk outside. Where are ya, Reggie? He responds with a residential address. Ummmm....

I Google the address and find it to be a neighborhood in a less-than-savory part of town 10 minutes (drive) away. Sorry, Reggie-- I meant, I thought you were downtown and I could meet you IN PUBLIC in the middle of this workday. Shockingly, I'm not really interested in leaving work and driving to your HOUSE to meet you alone!! He wasn't happy to hear about this. He doesn't have a ride, you see, so I'll really need to make like a delivery girl and bring it on over. Thanks but no thanks. I can live without that $15.

After another long series of pleading texts up until 10pm last night, I finally agreed to meet him (Matt would be with me, obviously) at a gas station near Athens this morning on the way to work. We agreed on 7:45 a.m. Several times.

Guess who never showed up this morning??

YOU ARE DONE, MISTER. GOOD LUCK SURVIVING WITHOUT THAT APPLIANCE!!!! MWAHAHAHAHA.

So that fellow was a sorta stereotypically crazy Craigstlister. Robbi, however, was not.

Robbi was interested in this same appliance several weeks ago (so I guess you already know that this story does not end with a sale). After a few back and forth emails inquiring about the availability and feeling out some potential times, Robbi sends me this.

This was pretty funny to me because the reason no one (who doesn't live there) is familiar with our small town is because IT IS REALLY SMALL. There aren't any 'busy public places.' So I had a chuckle over this request (also, I just found it amusing that a man would be so concerned about meeting strangers from Craigslist, but NOT concerned enough to erase his EXTREMELY DETAILED email signature which informed me about EXACTLY where he worked, including street address and several phone numbers). But I'm all about meeting in a public place too, so really, this isn't an unreasonable request. I responded maturely, naming a relatively public (if tiny and gross) grocery store.

Did you see that?? Robbi was TOO SCARED TO MEET ME IN A PUBLIC PARKING LOT WITHOUT A CHAPERONE!!!! I really felt kind of honored. That's awesome. He could probably sense how much time I spend lifting weights at the gym or something.

So Reggie didn't work out because he was too sketchy. Robbi didn't work out because I was too sketchy.

Meet Ann.

Ann was interested in a different appliance. A much nicer, much more expensive appliance. An appliance I really didn't want to sell, despite the fact that I don't use it. We'd gotten lots of inquiries about this appliance, but everyone wanted to offer like HALF of what we were asking. Um, no. I'm not even entirely sure I want to sell it. I definitely don't want to sell it for a fraction of what it's worth.

Ann inquired about the availability. When I said it was still available, she said she'd bring cash and could meet me downtown, as I requested, that afternoon. She'd text when she got here.

She showed up at the time she said she would. She texted. We found each other. She gave me cash- the exact amount we'd asked for. She was friendly and nice and we even chatted for a few minutes. She was super excited and nearly giddy about buying the appliance. We parted ways.

Ann restored some of my hope in the human race. Normal Craigslist people do exist. They're just buried beneath all the crazy.

The moral of this story is that you should probably just keep letting your unused stuff collecting dust in the garage. Unless it's something Ann needs, in which case you should sell it to her. And also, you should think twice before meeting me in public. I'm super scary.