Monday, July 7, 2014

no mas vacation + menu mockery

Our vacation was delightful, if too short. Then again, even if I'm gone for two weeks, it still feels too short, so...I guess it's a hazard of having an unquenchable appetite for sun and laziness. Or something.

I will greatly miss eating beach food. You were delicious, shrimp slaw thingy. And boozy lemonade in a mason jar. My granola bar and peach for lunch today really are not going to measure up.

But I don't want you to get the impression that everything about vacation was perfect. It was almost perfect. But then my eyes were assaulted with this cocktail menu at a popular local breakfast spot.

My apologies to those of you who find their retinas burning.

PROBLEM #1: Unnecessary apostrophe usage. Apparently their menu designer doesn't realize that you never need an apostrophe to make a word plural. NEVER!! NEVER!!!!!!!! So like..."mimosa's"??!?!! You are killing me, menu.

PROBLEM #2: Curlz font. On the WHOLE MENU. For real? FOR REAL?? Has seeing something written in CURLZ ever in the history of the universe actually ENTICED someone to buy something? No. I checked, and the answer is NO. Therefore, no one should ever use it on a menu. You can't argue with science.

What's even funnier is that on the flip side of that menu was the beer menu. ALSO IN CURLZ. Haaaaaaaa. I mean...if you're using the logic of trying to have your font/design kind of match/complement what you're advertising...I can almost understand why they may have been tempted to use Curlz for the mimosas. Mimosas are what cute young girls drink! We'll pick a really cute font that will appeal to underage, Curlz! How precious!! (It's NOT precious, but obviously this menu writer doesn't know that.) But like...Curlz to advertise your beer?? Because big burly men (the target audience for the beer menu, I'll assume...although I myself am much more likely to order beer than a mimosa) love adorable fonts like Curlz? That's hilarious.

If you think I'm overthinking this, you could be right. But this is what I spend my 9-5 doing, so forgive me if it trickles over onto my vacation.

In conclusion, if you are about to go print menus for your new restaurant, please do us all a solid and DON'T USE CURLZ. Or unnecessary apostrophes.

Also, in case there was any doubt...I did not order anything from the cocktail (or beer) menu. I can't support nonsense like that.

We came back home Saturday after a layover in Augusta to pick up Lola, who spent our vacation bonding with her grandparents. She did just fine, minus the nightly storms and fireworks that prompted my mom to send me frantic texts saying Lola is really scared of storms!!!! Is there anything I can do to help her??!!?! Poor scared baby. No. The only solution is more cuddles (which my mom graciously gave her).

Matt's family all came to town (while we were out of town) for the Fourth, so we spent Sunday hanging out with them. That meant I got to meet and spend some cuddle time with my newest niece!

I swam and sunned, she contemplated life and/or her finger.

Today isn't off to the greatest start. We woke up this morning to discover that we'd accidentally left the fridge cracked open last it's nice and room temperature in there now. And so is all the food. The food we just bought at the grocery store last night. Uggggghhhhhh. So I'm choking down my coffee black and tearing up at the thought of my boring and half-completed lunch, since I can only eat the non-refrigerated portions of it now. Oh well. At least the fridge isn't broken. That's something, I guess. And the freezer stuff is fine. So...looks like a big grocery run is in our near future.

This afternoon we're going to a prenatal appointment with J! I'm excited and nervous. She's 36 weeks now! We don't think she'll be getting an ultrasound today, but it will still be nice to meet her doctor and see the hospital she'll be delivering at. And hopefully hear the baby's heartbeat! (Also, I feel like I should point out that I just spelled that heartbeet. Which is awesome and hilarious. So those of you that comment that you feel really paranoid leaving comments/emails because you think I will judge your grammar...please know that I just wrote heartbeet.) (But I corrected it, and that's what counts.) (I feel like heartbeet is probably some kind of heirloom vegetable someone would sell at the farmers' market for like $9/lb. Organic, of course!)

Have a great week!  


  1. How EXCITING!!! The prenatal appointment NOT the menu in Curlz. Also, as if Curlz and crappy punctuation isn't enough, WHY is there a Momma Mimosa?!?! Do I have to show my kid's baby picture to order? Have spit up on my shirt? What if my eggs are broken but I still like Mandarin Absolut??? So glad you did not reward them for their craptastic menu. Now go forth and be semi-productive while counting the hours until your appointment!

  2. Your vacation looked perfect aside from that ridiculous menu.
    Yay for sun, water and a Coppertone tan! You look relaxed!
    Boo about your refrigerator. That's not nice to wake up to. So sorry!

  3. Vacations need to be mandatory every month. Free ones actually! Sounds like a good week between that and spending time with cute nieces :)

    Have a great afternoon!!!! That's so exciting!

  4. I am very excited about your afternoon for you two!

  5. I don't care how they spell it or what font, all of those drinks look yummy!!!

    This is just so exciting eeekk!! I feel like this really is happening for you and Matt :)

  6. Your niece - <3 <3 <3 - too cute!!!!!

  7. Ugh that awful menu. I also can't support anything in Papyrus. And YAY for baby appointments!

  8. Wow, 36 weeks? I didn't realize you could be a Mama so soon! yay!

    Your niece has tons of hair, what a lucky girl :)

    I really think you should give us a tutorial on fonts. I am so clueless when it comes to which fonts are appropriate/nice and I want to change my blog design.

  9. What an exciting afternoon!! yay! Also, coming home from vacation food is the worst, especially if it included fresh seafood!

  10. This shows you how little I care about grammar/font (and how much I, obviously, enjoy a cocktail). When I first read your comment about "what's wrong with the menu" I thought "NOT MUCH, those prices are good enough for me to order one!!" hehe.

    AND, have a great afternoon today! Yea for 'beets! :)

  11. You are giving me so many great ideas for baby gifts for you... I'm thinking a onesie with her name in the Curlz font (first and last name, just so I can put an apostrophe before the "s" in your last name) and then a giant owl below it.

  12. Hope your day flies by--so hard to come by after a lovely vacation and something so exciting to look forward to! And hope the doctor decides an ultrasound so you can see her, too. Prayers for you, Matt, J, and Baby Girl! :)

  13. eeeeeekk!! How exciting about the prenatal appointment!!! 4 weeks away. Darren and I just go back from a vacation too-I agree-they FLY!

  14. 1) Have fun at the prenatal appointment. I hope the heartbeet sounds great!!! I'm picturing a big red beet shaped as a heart showing up on the ultrasound somewhere.

    2) Your shrimp slaw looks amazing. Yum!!!

    3) Hello new niece! She's cute! And I think she's squishing Matt's head rather than contemplating life but you were there so you should know! (Do you guys know the "squishing your head" joke or is that just a Canadian thing?!?!?)

  15. I'm so totally jealous of your tan! Glad you had a great vacation and I'm so exited for you for the appointment this afternoon! XO

  16. No Curlz. No Papyrus. No Comic Sans. Never Brush Script.
    Yes Garamond. Yes Candara.

  17. I was just contemplating opening a restaurant specializing in curly fries featuring the lovely "curlz" font throughout. Thanks for squashing that dream :) Hoping the appointment this afternoon went great. Less than 4 weeks from now... YAY!!!

  18. Ok I have to agree with that font. My eyeballs cannot even decipher all of that mess. . .

    Also, how exciting about the prenatal appt.!! I hope and pray it went well (assuming you have already gone). What an honor that you are able to go with her!

    I do not judge about the misspelling. Remember when I spelled lizards wrong at Clara's 2nd birthday party. I am such an awesome mom. Really.

  19. oh my!
    That font. . . all over . . . Enjoy the appointment this afternoon. prayers for all.
    Question: Would you mind telling where/how you found your beach house/hotel for your Vacation? Have been thinking abt taking a trip to St. S Island and would love some info.

  20. So your ideal baby gift would be a monogrammed blanket with the baby's initials in curlz font and a picture of an owl?

  21. Wow! That menu...I mean...yeah, definitely worth mocking.

    I hope the appointment went well! So excited for you!

  22. So excited for you and amazed by your awesome attitude!


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