Wednesday, August 24, 2011

i'm a survivor, i'm gonna make it (earthquake edition)

And now if that song is stuck in your head, you're welcome. It was my pleasure.

YALL! This week has been a little TOO eventful thus far. First I discovered I was dying.  Then I went to the doctor, and he more or less confirmed it. But then he gave me some drugs so that most likely it seems like I will probably live. And I will get to add "MRSA survivor" to my resume. THEN, yesterday afternoon while I was sleeping off the MRSA and drugs, I survived an earthquake!!!!!

I know, it's almost too much to take it all in. The things I have suffered this week...whew.

(PS. Please read this and understand my heavy and liberal use of sarcasm. I am in no way trying to make light of anyone's experience who has ACTUALLY suffered from MRSA or ACTUALLY survived/did not survive the earthquake. Please understand that!! I'm not a jerk! I just like to exaggerate things for humor's sake!)

So here's how it all went down.

I was sleeping on the couch and Lola was curled up underneath my legs. It's really a miracle of engineering that we all even manage to FIT on the couch. It's not that big of a couch. And then there's 5 feet and 7 inches of me. And a 50 pound lab. And about 6 throw pillows. And we all like to be as close as possible.

I woke up because the couch was shaking. I immediately assumed it was Lola, who sometimes likes to scratch herself with such vigor that it sounds like someone hammering metal and can easily shake a couch if she's on it or touching it. In my half-awake state, I reached over to touch her with my hand and realized that she was dead asleep, too, and definitely not shaking and vibrating the couch. But since I couldn't figure out why else the couch was shaking, I assumed it must be something she was doing, so I kicked her off. She gave me the "Lola eyes," which will pierce your soul and make you feel like a horrible person. But I was too tired to care. I laid back down and noticed that the couch was still shaking even though Lola was no longer in the room. I didn't have time to ponder this before I fell back asleep.

Fast forward a few hours. I wake up from my "nap" (sleep of the dead) and sleepily crawl back to the computer to see what exciting things have happened in the world since I last checked. Naturally, Facebook is my source of all 'exciting news' information...and lo and behold, everyone's talking about an earthquake rocking the East Coast and being felt from like...the North Pole to the South Pole or something. I immediately wondered if that could be the cause of my shaking couch. I checked out the AJC and Online Athens webpages to see what really happened...and sure enough, there were actual reports of tremors being felt in MY COUNTY!!!

I thus concluded that I survived an earthquake. Who woulda thunk?

So that brings the week's grand total of Huge Tragedies Survived to TWO so far. MRSA and an earthquake. Bring on the weekend and Hurricane Irene. Let's make it three. As long as #3 means my poor flowers and grass will get some dang rain.

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