Wednesday, May 14, 2014

family traditions

Last night my phone alerted me to an incoming text from my brother. As soon as I saw that it was a picture, I got excited. Obviously it would be my niece-- what other photo-worthy things could possibly be going on in Jake's life that would necessitate a 9:00 p.m. text? Exactly. Nothing. Clearly gonna be Carley.

The caption under the photo said 'BUSTED!'

And there in the picture was my darling little niece, two days shy of her first birthday, looking up at the camera with a guilty expression on her face. Standing next to an open bottom cabinet, she grasped a large bottle of Wild Turkey in her tiny hands. Busted indeed.

Jake could hardly believe it. His precious baby...already pilfering from the liquor cabinet? What is this world coming to? (Relatedly...probably about time to start child-proofing the kitchen, bro.)

He followed up with another picture taken probably 2 seconds after the first one. In this one, Carley appears to be cracking up with baby laughter, still holding that bottle of bourbon. If she were about 16 years older, I'd have said that the second picture was the 'after' picture. After you drink some of that...this happens. (Or, you know, you're puking your guts out in the bushes. Equally likely.)

(I would show you the pictures, but Jake's kinda particular about plastering pictures of her all over the internet. I try to respect that and I forgot to ask about sharing these, but I'll err on the side of guessing it'd be a big NO. Hopefully I painted the adorable picture well enough with my words.)

As Jake and I laughed and mourned the loss of innocence at such a young age, I remembered something. I ran over to the photo albums from my own childhood and thumbed through until I found it. Then I took pictures of pictures and texted them back to Jake.

You're not a bad parent. This is clearly a family tradition. Possibly genetic.



That's right, folks. Apparently I had the same issues back in 1983. Maker's Mark was my poison, so apparently my niece and I share a one year old appreciation for fine bourbon.


Exact same guilty look.

Jake nearly died laughing (he'd never seen these before. Shockingly, they were not prominently displayed around our house growing up...???), but I think that at the end of the day he felt a lot better. Apparently this is just a normal rite of passage. At least in our family. And look what a fine and upstanding citizen I grew up to be! See, no worries. And I don't even like bourbon as an adult. Bonus!

And yes, if you're a long-time reader 'round here, you may recall that I shared one of these pictures several years ago. I hope you forgive me. To be honest, this is the kind of picture that is so funny to me that you're lucky I don't share it once a week.

If pictures of guilty babies holding bourbon can't get your day off to a great start, I don't know what will. Have a happy Wednesday!

16 comments:

  1. This is too funny!! I love it!! Also I noted that I'm almost positive we had the exact same kitchen floor growing up! haha

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  2. Haha like aunt like niece!! :) That's so funny! Once my niece is born, I'm only expecting texts from my brother that are pictures of her - what else would I care about? :)

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  3. That's funny! One of the few pictures that I have with my grandpa is me sitting on his lap with his beer bottle to my lips. I assume it was empty but you never know!

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  4. LOVE it. Too funny. (and way to be respectful of your brother's privacy wishes.)

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  5. Clearly the twins have been missing out! We just let them eat dog hair and gnaw on Brian's beer bottles... so boring.

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  6. Bahahah! This is priceless. And like Amie, I think I had the same kitchen floor, too!

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  7. Which is the bigger crime: parents letting their babies go to town on bottles of liquor, or the interior style of homes that was popular in the 80s?

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  8. Ha ha! It's kinda funny that when they're babies we think it's cute, but when they're older and under 21 it's a whole different story!!!! ;)

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  9. Okay, so these are adorable... why did your parents keep the liquor on like the lowest shelf possible? Maybe they were hoping you'd break in so they could get a good night's sleep ;)

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  10. This is a clearly a family tradition worth continuing!!!

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  11. Let's blame it on Carley getting a tooth. She's smart enough to know the Bourbon would help with tooth pain when rubbed on her gums. The follow up smile is post pain relief! :)

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  12. Hahahaha these are great! My parents have a picture of me, a few years old, with a beer in my hand.

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  13. I used to think that toddlers unknowingly saying cuss words (mainly involving trucks) was the funniest thing of all time. Now I know it's tied with babies drinking alcohol!

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  14. HA!! Guess it runs in the family!

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