Friday, October 24, 2014

almost twins

One of my favorite things about parenthood so far is when people proclaim that Millie "looks just like you!!!" 

On the one hand, I feel like that's just one of those things you're supposed to say to people toting around babies. It's not something that I normally say to folks, because I happen to think that most babies look alike (and cute, of course) and that very few babies actually resemble adults. Sometimes I think that babies look like their older siblings. But I'm terrible at gazing at an infant and seeing Mom's eyebrows and Grandma Mildred's nose. So I will normally stick with a safe "aww, he's adorable!" and call it a day. 

But sometimes strangers will instantly declare that Millie and I are basically twins, and that always makes me laugh. Are they saying it because it's just something to say? Or do they really think we look alike? And if it's option B, then should I either blow their minds or embarrass them by informing them that there's no genetic reason that we would resemble one another, or just smile and agree? For the record, I pretty much always go with the nod-and-smile-and-thanks. Because Millie is undeniably gorgeous, so by saying we look alike...well, they're basically calling me a supermodel. Basically.

But sometimes it's not strangers that say this- often times it's folks that know us, know her, and know our story. And so with them it's not just a toss-out phrase...it's spoken (or written) with a certain measure of awe and how cool is that?-ish-ness. And I completely concur. How cool is that?? I certainly did not expect to parent a child that resembles me. I long ago gave up that hope and expectation for family resemblance. We wanted to be parents, period- we finally came to a place where we didn't feel a deep need to share genes with our kids. And so I fully anticipated that our family would have more of a 'melting pot' look- even up until the day Camilla was born. Her birth parents look nothing like us. Millie is multiracial- I certainly thought that would be a little more apparent to the naked eye. And maybe someday it will be- she's still tiny (although growing less tiny by the day, SOB). Her features will certainly mature and change and maybe one day we will look a little more melting pot-ish. But for now, oddly enough- I guess we really do look kind of alike! Or as alike as babies and adults can, I suppose. It's easier for me to see it when I look at my own baby pictures. 

Behold: the Almost Twins!




I don't know. I sort of see it, but then I also think that any two random white babies with dark hair and dark eyes might look equally alike. ;) 

At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter. It's fun, it's trivia, it's intriguing, but it doesn't really matter. Love has nothing to do with looking alike physically. It does have a lot to do with dressing alike, though, which is why Matt and I have always enjoyed coordinating our outfits- a practice we now include Millie in, of course! And I love when people notice and exclaim "Oh wow!!! You both are wearing moccasins!!!!"...like they just grew off the end of our feet like that? Uhhh...yes, it was definitely part of my plan. ;)

And while I was busy digging through old photo albums, I did come across something pretty hilarious.


Check out that sweet diaper cover! Ha!! No wonder everyone in my parents' generation stares at me with shock and disgust when I mention that we choose to cloth diaper our child. If this is what you're imagining...well, yeah. I don't blame you. I'm glad that CDing has come a long way since then!!

Much cuter! But also, this was probably 6 weeks ago...she was so tiny! The diapers don't look nearly this huge on her now!
Before we go, I have a very important issue that you need to weigh in on. If you've been around here for awhile, you may recall my post from October 2011 called "babies should not be dressed like clowns." It's one of my favorite posts and it contains some of my favorite and creepiest Baby Erika pictures (spoiler: I'm dressed in a clown costume). I later had a follow-up post, "so maybe babies should SOMETIMES wear clown costumes," wherein I shifted my position slightly given some new information. So here we are today- I finally have a baby of my own, and I also have in my possession the very same clown costume I was wearing in those pictures- the one my mother made for HER baby (me!!) back in 1983. Obviously the question is this: should I dress Camilla up in the clown costume? Would this be the creepiest and most disturbing thing ever OR would it be a most incredible opportunity for side-by-side twin clown pictures?? I could go either way here, so feel free to weigh in. It probably doesn't matter, but for the record, the costume will probably be really big on Millie- I was almost a year old when I wore it, and I was huge for my age. So...take that into consideration, if you must.

Have a fabulous weekend!

26 comments:

  1. I see some resemblance between you and Millie as babies. It is sweet when people comment about looking alike. Clearly she's beyond gorgeou and you are, too!!!
    As for the clown costume thing. Well, I like clowns about as much as I like birds! Yuck!!!!! Creepy!

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  2. Okay, so here's the thing: I fully support you dressing Millie in the clown costume SOLELY for the sake of having a side-by-side pic comparison. But I do NOT condone you dressing her as a clown for her very first Halloween. Not when I've seen your other costume options. You just can't give those up. So since you asked, there's my opinion...I'm full of them! ;-)

    Also, the 3-week comparison of you two is crazily, eerily similar. In the best way possible, of course. I think it's awesome! I've always loved hearing that I look like my adoptive family...despite the blue eyes and curly hair (in my brown-eyed, very straight haired family), it still always makes me smile. The nod-smile-thanks technique is the way to go; it's not my place to decide if those people are just being polite or if perhaps they need to schedule an eye exam. Either way, YOU are Millie's mom...genetics are just a formality.

    Happy weekend, friend!

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    1. I agree! For a picture...yes. For Halloween...no.

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  3. Aww, I've always thought that Millie resembles you, the dark hair and eyes for sure. Both beautiful ladies! :)

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  4. The 3 week picture is EERILY similar. I love when adopted babies resemble their adoptive parents. It's such a sweet little blessing! I think she is now starting to show some of her multiracial characteristics, which is just gorgeous and makes her look extra elegant in those headbands! I just love your baby!

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  5. I have always thought that Millie resembles you as well! It's funny/cool how God works sometimes. I have a friend from college who is from Nicaragua, she now lives in Alabama and is married to a guy from there, who is white. They adopted two kids, from the same birth mom, and the kids look EXACTLY like my friend! they joke that the Dad looks like he is adopted, because everyone else looks like her :)

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  6. So I just wrote a comment and when I clicked publish, it DISAPPEARED! The tragedy. Maybe I'll retype it later when I get to an actual computer and not my ideleteyourcomment device.

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  7. Do it! But agreed with Amanda above: only do it for the side-by-side photo factor, not for her first Halloween costume.

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  8. When I was in art school my professor told us that people that have been married a long time start to look alike because we tend to mimic the facial expressions of the people we're around. The mimicking forms and shapes the muscles in our faces. Which is why some people even start to look like their pets! I'm assuming the same is true of our kids. So Millie will probably continue to resemble you as she gets older. :)

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  9. Such precious pictures! I think you should def do it! I want to see pictures :)

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  10. I promise I'm being totally serious when I say you guys look alike. I think it's the mouth/eyes, and the similar coloring is just a bonus. As far as cloth diapers...when I told my mom that I was going to do CDs she freaked out a little, and the picture of you on the bed was the exact reason why! How miserable our poor mothers had it.

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  11. My mom and I do not share genetic material at all and people ALWAYS say "OH my gosh y'all are twins!!" And people that don't know our family story , always comment on "You're the only one of Sheila's kids that actually look like her!!" Ha - my mom has four kids and the other three are all biological. :)

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  12. I know it doesn't matter whether or not Camilla looks like you, but both my husband and I have cooed over how adorable she is in every picture you share and we've both thought, "Wow! She looks a lot like Erika!" We use cloth diapers, too, and my mother-in-law gets excited about every diaper change at family parties yelling, "Hey! (name of the unfortunate person who happens to be closest at the time), come over and see these diaper covers and this snappy thing! No more pins! And the SNAPS! They are adjustable!" It cracks me up :)

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  13. i think that since you are already on a roll with the side by side pictures you might as well get one as clowns. :)

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  14. I feel like my mom and I hardly look a like and most people don't say that we do either haha. Millie is adorable and you are a supermodel - that's all fact :) Hmm I think the clown costume for a picture but then something more adorable for the real trick or treating?!

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  15. Your cloth diaper cover was amazing! Also, funniest thing in this email is that my Nana's name IS Mildred! Ha!

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  16. I agree with the votes to try out the costume for a photo-op for sure, and get something a little less creepy (ha!) for the rest of the time. I do think you resemble each other, and I agree that it is funny how God blesses us in the most unexpected ways. Of course you love her either way, but it's neat. Her expressions and many facial features are similar, for sure!

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  17. I think it's fun to put babies in outfits that their parents wore, so you should def put her in the clown costume!

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  18. Id defnitely put her in the clown next year. So cute to have matchy pics. If it was bug on you at 1, itll prolky fit her next year a little better. My kids are 18 months and wear clothes ranging from 12 months to 2T.

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  19. With regard to that photo of you at 3 weeks, those were called "rubber pants" back in the day. They were a plastic-y kind of diaper cover that didn't necessarily help much. You can tell in the photo that a good fit could be difficult to achieve!

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  20. My boss told me that Grace looks exactly like me, which is a lie. She looks 100% like her daddy. So I do think it is something people say but it doesn't take away from the fact that Millie is gorgeous and you have the new mom glow people talk about!

    I say yes to the clown costume. If it really is huge, wait a year. Twinning is the best!

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  21. Yep, I think you look alike too. And yep, that basically means you're a supermodel.

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  22. I think both you and Millie bear an uncanny resemblance to Giselle Bundchen. Just saying.

    I am afraid of clowns and baby clowns brings that fear to a whole new level. Can you imagine hearing Millie cry at night, you go to her room to comfort her, and when you go in you see that she's dressed as a clown? Only YOU DIDN'T DRESS HER IN THAT OUTFIT! You left her in jammies and now some evil spirit has dressed her in a clown costume in the middle of the night!!!! Do you see how terrifying this is?!?
    I should take my meds now.

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  23. People tell me that I look like my parents All. The. Time. Which is genetically impossible but I agree with whoever said that people who spend a lot of time together start to mimic each other's expressions and then look alike. And I do really think that Millie looks like you.

    However, the best comparison will be Millie in THE CLOWN COSTUME!!! Do it for comparison pictures, maybe make it her costume for next year, and then wait thirty years when Millie writes her own "Babies should not be dressed as clowns" blog post!

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