still waiting

NO BABY YET.

In case that's the only thing you cared about, just wanted to get it out of the way first thing. :) Obviously Ellison is not as anxious to get here as we'd like her to be...and both of her mommies (and her daddy) are none too thrilled about this! Now it's true-- her due date is still 10 days away...but she should know that to me, on-time is LATE. Early is always better. So she should fall in line. 

It was a long weekend of having my phone permanently attached to my hand. I swear. I can't wait til this is all over and I can like...leave my phone in another room for 30 seconds without having a panic attack. And sleep through the night without waking up every two hours to make sure my phone is still working. THIS WHOLE ADOPTION AND MY LIFE'S FUTURE HAPPINESS IS HINGING ON MY PHONE WORKING, APPLE. No pressure or anything. Just get it together.

Speaking of sleep-- it ain't happening. I can't even blame DST, though I'd love to (who wouldn't?)...it's been like a week of sleeping like a newborn is in the house. I rest for about 2 hours...then I'm up for 2 hours...then I fall back asleep for an hour and a half...then I'm up for 2...then asleep for 3...repeat, repeat, repeat. Yesterday afternoon I found myself telling Matt "Ugh, I just need the baby to be born so I can GET SOME FRIGGIN SLEEP!!" and Matt was like "yeah, no, pretty sure that's not how it works." Oh well. At least I can lose sleep about something different? Variety is the spice of life and all that.

So despite the baby not being born, it was a pretty good weekend. We did NOT end up driving down to hang out in Random Small Town. I have started converting all money/prices into Cans of Formula...so like...one night in a hotel equals four Cans of Formula, so NO. Can't waste my poor money like that. So we stayed home, which meant we got lots of things accomplished!

I practiced using the newborn insert with the Ergo. I mean, who knew BooBoo would come in so handy all these years later? He's been a crucial part of our baby prepping and I know that Ellison will appreciate that we got all of our newbie mistakes out of the way on him and not her later. And I'm also kind of amazed that people on Instagram thought that this picture was of Ellison. Uhhhh...ha. As I said on IG-- I do anticipate her having gorgeous, creamy brown skin. I am not anticipating fur. But they say to expect the unexpected, so I'll try to keep an open mind.

We finished the bumpers!!! Wooooo!! That makes me seriously happy. No crib for them just yet, but that didn't stop me from tying them all together and standing them up, obviously.

Last night our friends had an Adoption Party for us and our other friends from church that are adopting soon! It was not a shower, since we are both trying to stick to some version of The Plan...but it was a time for everyone to get together and be excited and happy and eat and such. It was a wonderful evening!

There was chili and cornbread and yummy desserts. We were gifted some necessities like diapers, wipes, and wine...oh yeah. Obviously our church knows us well. :)

We got a Boogie kit, too. I am thankful for seasoned parents to let us in on their insider boogie-snatching knowledge from the beginning!!

They even made us diaper cakes!! Wooo!! So fun!

Matt and I made sure to take every opportunity to practice our baby holding/rocking/charming skills. I got this cutie to fall asleep immediately on my lap.

And then Matt held her for some playtime. 

We made it through like an hour of baby-holding with zero crying, so I guess you could say we are basically experts and masters at this thing. Excellent.

So in spite of Ellison's reluctance to join us this weekend, we tried to make the best of it. But seriously, baby. Now you can just come on and be born.

pins & needles

Last night, after we finished folding the last of the teeny preemie clothes and I'd paid every single bill and spent a little while giving our budget the stink eye, we settled back to watch some football. Well, that's a lie. Matt watched football. I gawked over some ridiculous high chairs on Amazon (don't worry, they hold up to THREE HUNDRED POUNDS!! You know, in case your baby is AN ELEPHANT).

It was about 8:45 p.m. My phone rang. It was a number I didn't know. I answered.

It was our birth mom's mother. She wanted to let us know that they had just arrived at the hospital. We just want to have her checked. We're not sure if they'll send us home or let us stay, but the contractions have stayed steady at every five minutes, so we just wanted them to take a look at her. Don't start driving yet-- we'll call you back once we know something!

CUE FREAKOUT.

We frantically throw our last-minute stuff (toiletries, snacks, extra outfits in case there's a major climate change in the next few days (ALWAYS BE PREPARED, that's my motto!)) into our suitcase and the car. We call our parents. We wait.

Around 9:30, she calls back. She's dilated to 2cm, but they aren't sure if they're going to admit her or not. They're going to check her again in an hour. Just sit tight, we'll let you know!

"Um, I just think we're going to start driving, okay? Because...we're kind of far away...and last time her entire labor was only 7 hours and this is her second and it could be even faster and I AM GOING INSANE SITTING HERE WAITING, I WOULD RATHER BE DRIVING!!!"

They very kindly convinced me that I should be less crazy and just WAIT.

Wait? Wait? Like I haven't been waiting my whole life for this already? ANOTHER HOUR OF WAITING MIGHT KILL ME.

More frantic texting with parents, dog sitters, and I packed a few more alternate outfits. Just in case. It's hot in the South, you know? But there could also be a cold front. Or it might rain? Weather can be unpredictable. And hospitals are cold! And what else am I supposed to be doing while I wait to find out if we're going to meet our daughter tonight or not?!?!

We vacuumed. Twice. We repeatedly checked Google Maps to make sure we knew where we were going. We put our stuff in the car. Our next-door-neighbor came over and we frantically analyzed our birth mom's 'labor signs,' our car seat installation, and the relationships between our vagabond outdoor cats and their neighborhood friends.

At 11:30 our birth mom finally calls back. They sent me home. It won't be tonight. It'll probably be this weekend. Get some sleep, I'll call you tomorrow.

"Ooooh...dangit. Yeah. You get some sleep too. Or not. Get some contractions, actually. Get some dilation. Go take a five mile walk."

I didn't actually say all that. I'm not THAT much of a jerk. ;) 

I texted back our parents, dog sitter, and lawyer. Not tonight. Go sleep.

Guess how much I slept.

I'm at work now, but for how long?! We re-packed our bags this morning. Everything's in the car. I guess we've moved to the pattern where we will gladly pack/unpack our stuff every morning and evening if it means that the next time the call comes, we can drop everything and leave RIGHT THEN. 

Let's take a vote. (No time for a legit survey, sorry!) Would you think Matt and I are crazy if we just go ahead and drive to the town where the baby will be delivered tonight? Even if she's not in labor? We could just get a hotel and like...get to know the town...?? AND BE ONLY FIVE MINUTES AWAY FROM THE HOSPITAL. It's a serious consideration right now.

Sooo freeeaking antsy right now.

Just wanted to keep you updated.

Oh- yesterday several of you asked whether the situation with the birth father has had any resolution. To my knowledge, it has not. As I mentioned before, there is nothing he can do one way or the other until after the baby is born. Last I heard (from our lawyers) they had been unable to contact him for several days (and this was a few weeks ago), so I have no idea what his thinking is right now. There's nothing we can do about it anyway. We are moving forward with excitement and the full support of our birth mom and her mother, whom I spoke with several times last night and think I am really going to love once I meet her in person. I am so excited to be gaining all of this new family so that we can all love this baby together. Now all she has to do is be born... COME ON BABY GIRL!!!

PS. You know how I love making fun of people moaning about Daylight Savings Time #worstthingever ?? GO READ THIS BLOG. It is freaking hilarious. The Real Reason We Observe Daylight Savings Time: To Kill Parents.

high gear

Things are kicking into high gear on the adoption front here! All of the things I kept forgetting about or putting off for "later" are now...well, now or never. So this will be quick!

We've spoken with our birth mom both Tuesday AND Wednesday, which makes me SUPER happy and excited. She is progressing towards labor and her doctor said yesterday that it could be anytime!! So our suitcase is packed,

our ugly non-diaper-bag diaper bag is packed,

our quickly-borrowed bottles are sterilized and ready, 

and we don't silence our phones at night! READY!

Our families are on high alert, everyone ready to drop everything and drive south at a moment's notice. It is so exciting!! My SIL Emily is thinking she will be born on the 3rd, since there's apparently a full moon that night. That would work for me!!

Yesterday we found out that Ellison is (estimated to be) an itty-bitty thing- approximately 5 lb 6 oz right now! She still looks very healthy, and our birth mom said that her first daughter was born quite small, but healthy and full-term. So I'm not concerned (actually I'm kind of excited because then she will stay a baby longer, right?), but we did have to make another run to Target (tragic) to buy some teensy preemie clothes! All of the other (mostly borrowed) stuff we have will be enormous on her if she's really that small!! 

I'm frantically trying to get prepared for my maternity leave at work. We had interviews on Monday and Tuesday for a temp to cover in my absence. We hired someone who I think will be fantastic yesterday, and I start training her this morning! Even though there will be a temp, I feel like I've spent the last few weeks trying to cram the next 3 months's work into a couple days. Don't know if there will actually be anything left for her to do while I'm gone!! Okay, that's a lie. Good luck, girlie. 

Guess what HASN'T gotten done yet? Yeah. The bumpers. Oops. Haha. Looks like I'll be sewing with a newborn on my hip (arm? Ergo? Wherever newborns go). Another thing we haven't done: grocery shop. Or cook. I couldn't even tell you what we've eaten this week, but since my thighs don't seem in any danger of wasting away, I'm assuming we scavenged something.

Alright. Gotta get back to DOING ALL THE THINGS. Happy Candy Day!!

post-baby exercise planning

Last night we made one of (if not THE) our last trips to our gym of the last four years.  Almost as soon as we knew about the adoption we knew we'd have to cancel our membership...so we went to cancel a few weeks ago and now it's done. Due to the cancellation rules, we ended up still having to pay for another month and we have access through the middle of November, but then it's done. No more gym.

It was an easy decision to make. First and foremost, our gym is quite small and doesn't have childcare. That pretty much made cancelling our membership a no-brainer. We're not toting a baby around the gym, and we're not going to try to arrange childcare for her (after she's been in childcare for the entire workday already) so that we can go work out. We could theoretically go to the gym separately, but we've never had much success doing that, so I don't really see that being something we'd do often enough to make it worth the money we pay them every month. So basically the logistics of gym-workouts (not to mention that our gym is 15 minutes away from home and NOT in the direction of Athens/work) made it a simple decision. Not to mention now we can pocket that money every month, which is a huge bonus when you're trying to figure out a new budget that includes OH CRAP FORMULA IS EXPENSIVE.

It also made it easier that for probably the last 7 months or so we've been weaning ourselves off the gym anyway. We started training for the triathlon in April and that immediately had us doing most of our working out at home (or close to home, at a pool) for our biking and running. We ended up just liking that better...running on a treadmill has a lot of perks (like air conditioning, easy access to a potty, televisions to distract you, the ability to change the elevation immediately if a hill is too hard...actually, everything about a treadmill is better than actually running outside, now that I think about it. Dangit. What have I done.), but running around our neighborhood and nearby streets is just as effective and also saves us from a half hour of driving to/from the gym. Biking outside is WAY better than biking on a stationary bike. And we also have a small assortment of weights, ropes, punching bags, and other various at-home workout 'equipment' that let us get a more well-rounded workout experience if we wanted. So we really got in the habit of almost never going to the gym, unless it was raining or extraordinarily hot (which, don't get me wrong-- it frequently is...), and found out that sometimes we worked out even better/more often if we stuck to doing it at home. Like if we had only 30 or 40 minutes to squeeze in a workout-- that's not even long enough to drive to/from the gym. But it's plenty long enough to throw on your shorts and running shoes and knock out a couple miles on the streets around your house. 

Then in September or so I discovered that running in the morning, while tough (mostly the part where you have to crawl out of bed an hour earlier), is actually really do-able for us. And so we've started doing that a few times a week. I'm not sure how sustainable that's going to be through the winter-- my asthma issues are cold-weather and exercised-induced, so while I'm used to dealing with the issues that aerobic exercise always bring on, throwing in the extra variable of FREAKING COLD may be more than I'm comfortable pressing through...but, maybe I'll figure something out. And it's really only freezing cold for a short time here. 

So anyway, what we've been thinking through and talking about is this: what are we going to do for exercise once Ellison is here? Although we're no stellar athletes by any stretch of the imagination, we have managed to make exercise a regular feature of our lives for the last four years, and I don't want to consider what would happen (to my mental health AND my thighs) if we stopped. I know we're going to be exhausted from the baby. I'm not under any illusions that I'll have some magical situation where I wake up fully rested every morning, itching to go on a run. But I also know that I want to keep exercising regularly. It makes me a happier person. It's healthy. It gives me energy. And I can't afford to get fat and replace all my clothes. Lots of reasons to take a half-hour of my time and do something with it. 

In a way, Matt and I feel like God was sort of preparing us for this next season of exercising over the last few months. We used to be really gym-dependent for our workouts. I pretty much only took group classes. He pretty much used fancy machines. We can't easily replicate those experiences at home. But now we're used to the at-home thing. And so now we just have to figure out when/where/how we can keep it up with the baby in tow. I don't know if any of these ideas will actually work out, but I feel better knowing that at least we've thought about it and have some things to try when the time comes.

Our 'Things that Might Work' for Exercising After the Baby:

-Running with the stroller. Duh. If Ellison likes the stroller and/or sleeps, then we could do this pretty much any time, right? Early morning runs could still work (if we can keep her warm enough) or in the evenings after work. This seems like a no-brainer.

-Running one at a time. One of us stays home with Ellison, the other runs. Swap. This would work at any time of the day...if she's already sleeping or needs to eat or whatever...this seems pretty logical.

-Biking with Ellison in a bike seat or trailer. This will have to wait until she's quite a bit bigger and also will require purchasing equipment, but this could be a good option in the future. Except I think I might be too scared to put her in one of those trailers. So we'll see.

-Videos at home. We have a decent spread of workout DVDs already and could add in some more (or something really fancy like Insanity or P90X). We could do these together or separately, when Ellison is asleep or awake (if she has a swing or something), rain or shine...seems like this would be a super flexible way to get in a workout.

-Gym at my work. There is a really really teeny workout room at my work (maybe 3 cardio machines, a weight bench, some free weights, jumpropes...REALLY SMALL) and an indoor track. There are also showers and locker rooms. So we COULD use that stuff (for free) whenever we wanted, but that would mean either going to work earlier (having Ellison in childcare longer) or staying later (ditto), so I'm not really sure. I guess if we wanted to do it after work we could also go GET Ellison and bring her back to my work and then take turns watching her/working out, but that seems kind of like a lot of work. And I just think we're going to want to spend time with her and not the kind of time where you're passing her back and forth between sets. But who knows.

-Later, if time and budget allow, join a gym in Athens that has childcare. Then we can stop and work out on the way home from work, so it won't be any extra driving- just the time of ACTUALLY exercising.

So those are some of the things we've thought about trying. I wanted to write them down so that in a month or two, when it's been 6 weeks since I last saw my running shoes and I'm wondering how on earth I ever thought I could work out with a newborn around, maybe I'll look back and see these genius ideas and give one of them a try. Or maybe not. But it can't hurt.

One other thing I'm doing is reading blogs of moms that make exercise a priority. Some of them are doing insane things like running ultras, some of them are just regular working moms who still manage to make exercise a part of their lifestyle. Either way, they all inspire me to not just settle for a sedentary lifestyle and they demonstrate that it can be done. I need that inspiration...even now, while I don't have a kid, I sometimes convince myself that I'm 'too busy' to exercise. And then I remember all these women with multiple kids, jobs, pets, commitments, and if THEY can still make exercise a priority, then I need to shut up and take my flabby buns on a jog. 

That said-- I did not go running this morning because I worked out too hard at the gym last night and I'm too sore to run today. Ha. I am the best excuse maker EVER!!