Wednesday, January 26, 2011

boy stories

I have two boy stories. They’re both so good, I can hardly decide what order to tell them in. Best for last? Best for first? But then, I don’t even know which one is the best, so it doesn’t even matter.

Well, yes I do. The pick-up line one is probably better.

Here goes.

Story #1, which is not even a story, but a picture.

Here’s what I walked in on a few minutes ago. (aka Every Woman’s Dream)

Just in case you can’t tell what he’s reading:


And then he says “hey, when are you gonna make this white chicken chili?”

Moment officially over.

OK, next story.

This one’s from school today. And just as a preface/side note…the kids don’t actually call me Mrs. B. Or Mrs. B****, with those stars standing for a dog in heat, as one of you witty commenters suggested/asked once. They call me by my whole last name, it’s just I put the stars here because I don’t want this blog to be the first thing that pops up when you Google my full name. Got it?? OK, not that that has ANY relevance whatsoever…just felt like sharing.

I shall call this story “World’s Best (Unintentional) Pick-Up Line”.

We’re standing in line in hallway, waiting for our class to finish up using the bathroom. Don’t forget, I teach 4-year olds. One friend…let’s call him John Doe, shall we?…is leaning against the wall, staring pensively towards me.

“Mrs. B****.” It’s a statement moreso than a question.


“Mrs. B****. You eyes are black.”

He pauses, narrowing his gaze into my eyes.

“Black like a shark.”

Insult? Pick-up line? Most Awesome Compliment a Four-Year-Old Boy Could Give??

Who knows. But it made my day.

And for the record, my eyes are hazel. Sorta greenish-brown.

Um, maybe we need to work on our colors.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

a family reunion

I have a feeling that if you're even reading this blog, you're probably not too anti-social networking. You know...blogs, Facebook, seems like you either think it's the devil, or you think it's the best thing ever. Obviously I'm in the best-thing-ever camp. But just in case you need some convincing, I would like to present you with this heartwarming story.See those pretty girls?? That's me and my cousin Rachael. Yesterday.

And maybe that doesn't seem strange to you. Maybe you see your cousins all the time. Maybe you grew up together and you talk on the phone and you share holidays with crazy relatives.

Or maybe you're a little more like me. Maybe your parents decided before you were born to move to the opposite side of the country from where they were born and raised (Texas). So you grew up never really knowing your extended family. We always got to see our grandparents, but I'll be honest-- we've just never had the opportunity to get to know our cousins. And it's sad, because I have lots of them, and they all seem like they would be fun people to know! And we saw them more when we were really young, because we'd spend all summer in Texas. But by the time we kids were in middle and high school, those month-long trips turned into week-long trips, and all of our cousins were also traveling, so we pretty much never saw them.

Rachael is six years or so younger than me, so when we were younger, she was much more my sister's friend than mine. You know...there's a big difference between a 10 year old and a 16 year old. But as you get older, the differences shrink. But we wouldn't have had the chance to know that, because save for a few hours at my wedding 3.5 years ago, I haven't seen Rachael since...the late '90s??

Enter the world of social networking.

Rachael and I got reconnected. We're facebook friends. We read each others blogs. And I realized pretty early on that I bet we are people who could be real-life friends, too. We have a lot in common! Who knew?!

So when Rach emailed me last week to let me know she'd be in Atlanta over the weekend, I could WAIT to go hang out with her. Because we're family! And now we can be friends, too. Real life friends!

So yesterday Matt and I joined Rach for a day of dining and shopping and dining and shopping (apparently those passions are genetic). Conveniently, we share a love for Dave Ramsey and also a taste for the finer home furnishings in we were able to drool over a lot of stuff we couldn't afford, but at least our misery had company.

The whole day was wonderful. It made me so happy to sort of take back my own family destiny. Just because I didn't grow up being close to my extended family doesn't mean I can't start now, right? I'm a big girl now. I'm in charge of my own life and who is in it, and I don't think it's too late to start getting to know my cousins. Especially with the aid of social networking...I mean, there wasn't even a moment of awkwardness, cause we already "knew" each other!

So anyway. There's my dissertation. I had a wonderful day with my cousin (and my very tolerant husband, who LOVED being dragged to every furniture store in Atlanta) and hope that this is only the beginning. And just in case there are any other of my long-lost cousins reading this...drop me a line! I bet we could be BFF too!

Friday, January 21, 2011

things you need to know. for real.

Well hello there, world. Long time no chat. But don’t worry. That’s all about to come to an end. (The not-chatting, that is. Not the world.)

When the Snow-pocalypse is immediately followed by a four-day-weekend out of town and then a slam-packed week…you get this. No blogging. It’s a sad situation. But lucky for you, I’ve been taking notes all week. Yep, notes. They started out as mental notes, but progressed into full-fledged NOTE-notes. Notes about things I wanted to blog about.

When you’re 28, you can’t just trust your brain anymore. That thing’s likely to fail any day now. You can only trust a notepad in your horrifically-heavy-and-full-of-everything-I’ve-ever-received-since-1998-purse. That thing is like a vault. Nothing escapes. Not even notes about Things to Blog. Anyway, I’ve already digressed. Since none of my Noteable Thoughts are connected, we’re going to go list-style. But just in case you’re not interested in a list tonight, may I suggest you at least scroll down to #5? I think it is something you would like to know.

(But before I get you all needlessly excited…no, #5 is not that. You think I would put a pregnancy announcement up here as a measly little #5 on a list?? Like “oh, I almost forgot to mention this little tiny ol’ bit of news, it just practically slipped my mind, let me mention it here at the end of this long rambling blog….” Ha. No.)

1. So, after a grueling work of forced-slothdom due to the snow, we departed for the beach last Friday. I am now on the leadership team thing at church, and there is a retreat every January. Matt and I rode to the beach with Mollyanne and Jonathon. I must say that the seven hour ride was surprisingly tolerable (for a person who hates car trips). I think it was the combination of extra humans and fun technology that made the hours pass quickly. Well, quickly until I decided I was hungry and tired of being in the car. Then time drug on. But we made it eventually, and were happy to find we were staying at one of the coolest beach houses ever built, complete with about 8 king-sized beds and an elevator. Which I rode up and down just because it was awesome. Don't worry, I have the maturity of your average 8 year old. So my pictures aren't great because my camera was generally dead, but just imagine a beach in January. It was surprisingly nice. We got to see lots of dolphins one morning, and you know my affinity for marine wildlife. Obviously it made my life infinitely better. In addition to seeing dolphins, we spent lots of time hanging out with friends old and new. It was good to be around people. Sometimes I forget how much I like that. All in all the weekend was productive and encouraging. And there was internet there! I really couldn't ask for more, could I?!

2. So the weekend was great, but unfortunately a week of no work followed by a long weekend work...meant that I started off Tuesday morning way behind the proverbial eight-ball. Instead of starting the work week feeling like I was on top of everything and ready to rock, I felt like I needed week off? Or maybe a drink? Not sure, but I didn't feel like I was ready for work. And I didn't really catch up on work until today. In addition to that, it seemed like we had stuff to do every night and we were busy from about 6am until 11pm. Whew. It was exhausting. The laundry we put in the washer on Tuesday afternoon was STILL IN THE DRYER tonight at 6. Thoroughly wrinkled, I might add. Anyway. So I've had no time at all to hang out at the library and catch up on my all-important social networking. But take heart!!! Rumor has it that we may be eventually thinking about considering getting internet at home again!! I know, crazy.

3. I just started a Beth Moore Bible study with a bunch of girls (women?? ugh, I hate that word if I think it is referring to myself) at church. We're doing the Esther study. I haven't done a Beth Moore in about 10 9 years (YIKES, was I really in college 10 years ago?!??!! Well, I was a freshman.) and I think I am going to like it a lot more this time around. So far, about 3 days in, I have already learned a lot and am really excited to have the opportunity to learn and share with a bunch of girls. Anyone else done this study?

4. OK, on the radio today they were talking about how long people go wearing jeans without washing them. This one radio host (hostess?) who is about my age sounded like she was feeling really guilty about admitting she sometimes went --wait for it-- two or three days without washing jeans.


Um...two or three days, honey?? Wow. Aren't you ambitious. Am I the only person who thinks that jeans still have a LOT of life left in 'em after three wears? And I guess it's worth pointing out that I generally don't wear jeans for a whole day. You know, a couple of hours after work, max. But even if I did wear them all day. I think I could go a lot longer than three days. In my (humble but always right) opinion, jeans aren't even comfortable until like 2 wears post-wash. Unlike towels, socks, undies, and most anything else...freshly washed jeans are TERRIBLE. I loathe the thought of trying to squeeze into a pair fresh outta the dryer. Ugh. It's enough to make a girl rush back into her leggings and sweats. But maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm certifiably nasty. I'm questioning everything, now.

5. If you made it this far, congratulations. I think it will be worth your wait.

So since the snow-week and beach-weekend didn't exactly involve a lot of working out, but did involve a lot of laying around and eating junk food...the gym was inevitable this week. It had to be done. Penance had to be made (paid?). So last night, there I was, doing my thing on the treadmill.

Oh, the treadmill.

It's funny how during our car ride to the beach, I was explaining to Mollyanne my fear of trying this "new thing" on the treadmill. I see people (both at my gym and on Biggest Loser) doing this sideways skipping thing on the treadmill. It looks like a good workout, but I just couldn't figure out how to turn sideways and get going without getting yourself into trouble. So I've never tried.

Last night I decided to overcome my fears and give it a whirl. I slowed the thing way down and hopped off, then slowly got on and started "skipping" (I can't really describe it), and increased my speed. It went really well and was quite fun, although it required a lot of concentration. After I did one side for a few minutes, I wanted to switch. I hopped off and just did some regular jogging to get a little break. Then I hopped back onto the sides and turned the other way. As soon as I tried to get back on and do my skipping thang, I realized my mortal mistake: I forgot to slow it down. I almost didn't have time to realize my mistake, since I immediately crashed and in fall down, nearly taking out the girl next to me, and then FLY off the treadmill, because of COURSE I don't wear the little clip thing that would cause it to immediately shut off in such a situation as this. Of course I don't. Instead I catch a 6mph ride to the end of the 'mill, where I fall off the 3.5 incline and hit the (very hard, very unforgiving) ground.


Of course, being the cool cucumber I am, I hopped RIGHT back up and got on the treadmill. "Are you okay??????!!?!?!" the scared patrons next to me asked. "Yeah, I'm fine," I lie, as I contemplate whether I'll EVER be able to go back to my gym. I walked for 10 more minutes just to prove how fine I was, and then I very bravely went and informed Matt that we would be leaving real stat-like, and then I limped my broken booty and broken pride back to the car.

And I've been limping ever since. And when people ask why, I have to tell them, and then they laugh at me. And I can't help but join them, because really?? That was RIDICULOUS.

So, the end. If you notice me growing to be 28195 pounds, it's because I can't ever go back to the gym, and it doesn't matter because I've totally given up on wearing jeans anyway.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

snowed in

Yup. Day #2 of Snowpocalypse 2011 is well underway, and I don't even have any pictures to show. We've taken a few, but let's be honest...they basically look like me rolling out of bed, putting on all the clothes in the closet (but no makeup), surrounded by endless white stuff. Alone, because Matt and I don't have our own personal team of photographers to follow us around (I know, right? Why?), so we can only be in pictures one at a time. And we haven't built a snowman or done anything cutesy like that, so...yeah, it's just not been a real photo-worthy couple of days.

But it has been fun. Slash boring. I'm not going to complain, because a) we're not at work, and b) we have power. So we've pretty much just been staying in, staying warm, watching TV, and eating breakfast foods. Something about being snowed in means that you are required to eat breakfast food for every meal of the day. I'm okay with that...personally, I could do that EVERY day of the year. So it's nice to have Matt be the one requesting waffles for dinner. I'm happy to oblige.

Last night (or was it Sunday night? They're all running together now.) we watched the "HGTV Dream House" show thing. The house is in Vermont (where my sister- and brother-in-law just moved!) and it's basically off the chain. It also made Vermont seem like basically the BEST place in the whole world to live. Like all of their "dream houses," HGTV is giving this one away. You just have to enter to win, right? So it's a no-brainer. We enter ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. We hardly ever win everything (like last week when we DIDN'T win the Mega Millions lottery. Crazy, I know.) but what the heck? If it's free, why not try? Someone has to win, right?

So here we are sitting at our computers (at the library, of course) and I notice Matt is checking out the Dream Home Sweepstakes. He's telling me all the fine points of entering and winning and all that. He is that boy that actually reads all the tiny print and gets hung up on parts of it like "ohhh, I don't know if I REALLY want to enter now that I know the tax ramifications that could come with winning..." and it just cracks me up. He did the same thing last week with the lottery. He was all hung up on possible tax implications that could come with winning. My personal philosophy is that if you win? You are getting like HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. For NOTHING (okay, for $1). So if the government wants to take half of it? Who cares! It's still hundreds of millions of dollars I did NOTHING to earn. They don't "owe" me that money. It's a PRIZE. And I think I'll be happy with it no matter what.

Anyway, I have no idea why I'm rambling on about this. I just think it's funny that it's taking Matt 45 minutes to register for the Dream Home. He was mostly upset that you needed to give a phone number to enter. "Give 'em mine," I said. I don't care. I don't have to answer. I don't usually answer the phone anyway! "But what if they sell it?!? What if more people call?!?!" Umm...I think I will just keep not answering! Doesn't bother me in the least. Bring on winning me that Dream Home!!

Wow, being snowed in makes me a really boring person, apparently. I just rambled about some really boring junk for a LONG time. Sorry friends!!

Oh I know!! We watched (amongst tons of other junk) this RIDICULOUS show today. I mean, seriously ridiculous. And I have a high threshold for ridiculousness, obviously, given my choice of reality TV to watch. But this show takes the cake (and Matt picked it out!!!!! HEEEEHEEEHEEE!) It's called You're Cut Off! and it's on VH1. Basically there's a bunch of SPOILED ROTTEN PRINCESSES (all look to be in their early to mid-20s) who are being bankrolled by their parents, grandparents, or boyfriends. You know...giant mansions, Aston Martins, hundreds of thousand-dollar, spa days...everything you would expect from a Real Housewife or celebrity. Only these girls have done nothing to get all this-- they're being bankrolled. None of them have worked, or cooked, or cleaned, or even put gas in their own cars. So their 'sugar daddies' (or mamas or parents or whatever) have gotten sick of it, and nominate them to be on this show. The girls are told they're going to be on a reality show called "America's Next IT Girl" or something, so they show up for it all Gucci'd out and struttin down a red carpet...and then they get the news that they have been CUT OFF and are about to get a big ol' dose of reality.

Mayhem ensues, especially when they have to move into this smallish, 1970s ranch-style home where they all have to SHARE ROOMS and there is only ONE BATHROOM!?!?!?!?! OMG how can they survive?!?! And they have to COOK for themselves and CLEAN and like...GET JOBS?!?!!!

I know, it's crazy. And so is the amount of entitled princesses they have crammed into this one house. It's insane princess drama and it was definitely good for some laughs. I don't imagine this will be a show I'll be chomping at the bit to watch all season long, but it was definitely funny for an hour. So if you're snowed in, I'd recommend checking it out...they seem to be replaying it all day.

So...yeah. Snow. Dream Homes. Reality TV. That's basically it from me. At this point I'm looking at a two-day workweek, MAX. We are already taking Friday off from work because we're going on a leadership retreat with our church, so if school opens up tomorrow, it will be at most only 2 work days!! That is the kind of week I'm okay with!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

in awe yet?

In case you were in doubt of my awesomeness, here's some evidence that should close that case for good:

1. I am actually a selfish enough person that I told my dear sweet husband whom I love more than life itself that I would not be able to stop by the grocery store on my way home from work (1.5 hours before he gets off work) and pick up something he needed because


because I needed (NEEDED!!!) to watch last night's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that I DVRd.

And he humbly agreed that that seemed much more important than getting the stuff he needed to make sushi (ewww!) and so he went to the store at 5:30 when he got off.

2. Then, approximately 10 seconds after Matt arrived home, I absolutely bit it whilst chasing Lola wearing only my socks. We have very slippery floors. Oh, and my hands were in my pockets, which meant I had no way to break my fall. So now approximately the entire right side of my body is bruised and broken and painful. Which means I laid on the floor crying while Matt tried to take it all in: hyper dog running in circles. Wife crying on the floor...yelling at the floor?? Right, just another Friday night. Lemme put away this sushi stuff in the fridge...

3. After I spent a good hour mourning my bruises and life in general, Matt begged me to leave the house (with him) and go somewhere-- ANYWHERE!, for the love of God!!-- that was not in our house. Because I am a brat and refuse to wear anything other than leggings (because all other items of clothing are too uncomfortable) but it is too cold and windy today to go out in leggings, I pitched a fit. And then decided it would be totally acceptable to just LAYER my leggings so that I could be warm enough. So here I sit in Barnes & Noble, sporting TWO PAIRS OF LEGGINGS (plus knee-high socks and boots). Don't worry, one pair is brown and one pair is black, but hopefully no one can tell that. I just wanted you to know. Because I over-share like that.

So as you can see, I'm just full of win today.

On the plus side, this weekend has nowhere to go but up, right?

Fingers crossed.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

digging deep

So it's 2011. And I must say, the year is off to a deep start for me.

Really deep.

As in, my thinking.

Let's talk hair, ladies.

(Sorry to the maybe 4 guys that read this.)
For the past 3 years or so, I've favored shorter, trendier hair. I've done bobs. I've had bangs. It's been fun.

You know, lots of beauty magazines and makeover shows recommend going short. More flattering, supposedly. And I'll agree, since a lot of times "long hair "equals "boring hair." With no style, if it's just long hair hanging on either side of your face...they're right. It does not flatter the face.

But then I started missing the long hair. The wedding hair. (OK, they were extensions. But it was still long hair!)

And so my last real haircut was probably 8-10 months ago. (I've had it trimmed and shaped since then, I'm not that freaky, thanks) I've been trying to "grow it out", which apparently takes FOREVER. Funny how when I was keeping it short 'n' trendy, it grew SO in, whatever my style was, it tended to be looking NOT GOOD after like 6 weeks.

Come to think of it, maybe the "short styles are better" propoganda are something the beauty industry came up with just so that we have to spend more money on haircuts. Hmmm...

But now that I want it to get long? Geez Louise. It's slower than Christmas.

Well anyway, it's finally getting there. It's almost past the awkwardness of shirt collars, which is a major turning point.

All along the way, though, I've kept doubting myself. Long hair isn't trendy! I would tell myself. People always complimented your short, trendy hair!

But then I turned on the TV. Well, that's a lie. I watch a lot of TV, we all know that. So rather, I just started noticing things on TV.


Well, everyone beautiful. Almost every single Real Housewife (doesn't matter which city). Celebrities. Fake celebrities. News anchors. Even Stacy London, the style guru herself-- ALWAYS has long hair.

So anyway. I am re-energized in my pursuit of long hair. I am convinced I will do long better this time around. Better than high school and college, when my long hair was most certainly plain and boring. I am going to have trendy long hair this time! I am committed!

I'm even investing in hot rollers. Yep, you heard me right. My sister told me I could. (She's the hair girl. If she says it's ok, IT'S OK!!!) Apparently lots of people do it. This has changed my life, this knowledge. Because there's nothing I hate like slaving over my hair with curling and flat-irons. And then last night I saw Kyle (RHoBH) with hot rollers all over her cute little head and I said that's it, I'm getting hot rollers.

So. If you notice my hair looking particularly fabulous in the coming days, now you'll know why. And if you have any hot roller recommendations (or you want to confess to using them yourself), please let me know. I've almost decided which kind I'm getting, but there is still room for changing my mind.

Oh yeah. And THIS-- these deep and profound revelations about long hair and reality TV stars-- is what I chose to share last night in the first meeting of the new Bible Study I'm in. This. Of all the things to ramble on about in your "about me" speech. I talked about hair and reality TV.

Like I said. I'm going deep in 2011.