Tuesday, July 5, 2011

good times with google

I hope yall don't think I'm copping out, but come ON. Google Analytics provides the FUNNIEST tidbits of information and I really feel I'd be remiss if I didn't share with all my friends. Besides, I haven't had a "Google Analytics"-themed blog since like...October. So we have lots to catch up on!! (And here's my plug for all you bloggers who DON'T use Analytics: GET IT. Yes, it's a hassle (if you're technologically-challenged) to figure out how to set it up. But there are plenty of online tutorials that will help you sort it out. It is SO WORTH IT!)

Alright. I'm only analyzing my results since 10/10/10, which was my last post about Analytics. To start with, my top 8 (and a bunch of higher numbers, too) top keyword searches (that is: the things people Google that leads them to click on this here blog) are all from people who obviously know what they're looking for. As I mentioned last time, these are the people who are unfamiliar with the idea of bookmarking or 'following.' They'd rather Google me every time they want to check the blog. That's cool, I won't judge you. Except for you people who seem to Google me EVERY DAY with my name MISSPELLED. That is not cool. Also, for the record, "mattyerika" is actually Matt y Erika. 'Y' is Spanish for "and." Matt and Erika. Although I do call Matt "Mattie," I always spell it with an 'ie.' Back in 2006 when we got engaged, I got all email-happy and decided we needed a joint email account. "mattanderika" at gmail was not available, so I looked deep inside my soul and dredged up some Spanish and voila. An email address-turned-blog address. I only say this because it tickles me all the people Googling "matty and erika". It's like "matt and and erika." Okay, moving on.

Okay, so folks found this blog via 228 different keyword combinations. Like I said, a bunch of them are stuff like "mattyerika blog" or my name or something like that. Boring. Let's check out the funny ones!! And since a lot of people are apparently coming here looking for the answer to very specific questions...let's see if I can answer them for you.

To the person who Googled beautiful doesn't even begin to describe her...obviously you came to the right place. Thanks!

But you, beautiful fried banana? Not sure if you found what you're looking for. Although I do appreciate a good fried banana now and then.

Now, chinese buffet next to trader joes on epps bridge parkway...you obviously were looking for something specific. And I hate to be the one to tell you that that buffet closed. I know, I was sad too. They had the best fried bananas ANYWHERE. (True story!!)

Coed college shower pictures? I hope you were talking about baby or wedding showers. Otherwise you were probably sorely disappointed.

Dear summer, please come quickly before I completely lose my mind. I couldn't agree more. I bet we could be friends.

Several people asked variations on "does kroger have wi-fi?" and I am happy to report (as you probably read) that apparently some of them do. Going to Kroger's actual webpage would probably get you more information than my blog, though.

Drug dealer car backed in reassured me that I am not alone in my thinking!

Dear excuses for parents finding beer bottles: I think a simple shrug and 'idunno' is all you need to convince them of your innocence.

High school chick flicks where quiet girl gets cool boy: REALLY not sure how this brought you to me, but I think you should rent She's All That.

I want to know if it's cold outside. Well I think you should go to weather.com. Just a thought. It would have required typing less letters.

These were oddly similar (spelling mistakes are from the original): Is 69 to cold for a 5 months baby to be outside and is it good to take baby outside in 20 degree. I would say no and no. Just my professional opinion.

Is it illegal to take a flower bush from a foreclosed upon house? I hope not!

Just relax and you'll get pregnant. No, you won't. But thanks for sticking around and reading fourteen pages of my blog! Hopefully I changed your mind about the aforementioned statement.

My day is a waste of life. Sad, but I guess everyone feels like that on some days.

There are always more pictures of firstborns. Do you regularly complain to Google? But you're right, there are. Luckily, I'm a firstborn, so I don't care.

What should you do when a drug dealer uses your driveway? Um...call the police? Run over him with your car? The options are limitless.

Why aren't all girls girly girls? Because then there would be no tomboys.

I could go on with these things for days, but I'll stop now (unless you want more. Just let me know!)

I've had visitors from 51 countries!!! Dang. I probably couldn't even name 51 countries (because I suck at geography).

My most popular content (not including my 'home' page, which is the vast majority of all visits. This just means content you had to click separately on to view.) was a Show Us Your Life carnival and my infertility label. Coming in next were a bunch of my Way Back When-sday posts...good to know yall like them!

Well I'm out of time, but Google Analytics is never out of funny information you didn't need to know. Until next time...I'm just going to go look at some awesome pictures of rarity and listen to some sweet background music for prom pictures. Yup, people actually Googled that.


  1. I need to figure out this Google Analytics thing.

  2. Ha I enjoyed this- gotta love google analytics- free entertainment!

  3. So do you have to paste in the analytics code to every post you make? I was thinking about doing analytics, but don't know about having to paste that in every time.

  4. I love this! I think Google Analytics needs to become a monthly update. :)


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