Sad but true- Vacation 2013 is over. Waaaahhhhhh!!!!! On a happier note, we made it home safely to a clean house and happy dog, so that definitely eased the pain. Oh, but you know what didn't ease the pain of returning? All this FALSE ADVERTISING ABOUT FALL that was rampant on social media the last few days. I mean, I was in Mexico, people, not outer space. Obviously I spent some (brief!) periods of time keeping myself up-to-date on all the important things happening on Twitter, FB, blogs, and the like. And what appeared to be happening was FALL. 'Oh, it's FALLL!!!!!' everyone said, as they talked about scarves and pumpkin flavored everything and Harvest candles. Yay for fall!! And I noticed that the month changed and it became September, and so I put two and two together, and so I dunno...I was rather expecting to step off the plane in Atlanta to some brisk mid-60s weather...some color-changing, falling leaves...our neighbors jumping in leaf piles and making bonfires. I dunno. Anything other than what actually happened, which was stepping out into air that is hotter and more humid than it was in Mexico, minus the breeze off the ocean, plus air pollution, minus fruity drinks, plus traffic. So thanks a lot for NOTHING, liars of social media + Georgia weather!
Anyway. Sorry for the anger. You know how it is, coming off a vacation high. You get a little emotionally unbalanced. Or maybe that's just me all the time. Who knows.
Instead of a full-out vacation recap, I decided to host my own little Vacation Awards Ceremony instead. This is kind of like a cross between the Oscars and high school yearbook superlatives. Or something. So get ready to meet the winners (and losers) of Matt y Erika's Mexican Extravaganza 2013!
Best Supporting Technology:
I think that my next full-length limerick is going to be in honor of the Kindle. I can barely remember what international beach vacations used to be like in the pre-Kindle era, but I can only imagine they involved really heavy suitcases and very little freedom of reading choice. A sad world. Matt borrowed my mom's Kindle, I have my own, and there were very few minutes when we weren't both glued to our respective screens.
First Runner Up: the iPhone, taker of all 210 vacation photos.
Loser: the Canon dSLR, taker of 0 vacation photos. I don't know why I thought things would be different this year. This just in: it's still humid at the beach! Your lens is still going to get completely fogged! Someone please tell me next year not to bother hauling that thing all over the world. Stick with what works.
The 'Job' Award: Most Patient in the Midst of Inhumane (First World) Suffering-
Matt during the Lost Luggage Saga!!
Here's how we got ourselves from Atlanta to Cancun: We got on an airplane in Atlanta. We got off the airplane in Cancun. It took approximately 2.5 hours. Ta-DAH! Done. Here's how one of our suitcases got from Atlanta to Cancun: it got on the airplane in Atlanta. It got off the airplane in Cancun. It took approximately 2.5 hours. GOLD STAR! Here's how the other suitcase got to Cancun: It got on a plane in Atlanta. It got off a plane in Atlanta. It got on another plane in Atlanta. It got off a plane in San Juan, Puerto Rico. It got on a plane in San Juan and then got off a plane in New York. It rested in New York for awhile and changed airlines. It tried to get on a plane to Cancun. It couldn't. It changed airlines again and went back to Atlanta. It got on a plane to Cancun. It got off the plane to Cancun. It changed airlines and got on a plane to Mexico City. It got to Mexico City. It got on a plane to Cancun. It got off a plane in Cancun. IT TOOK 3 DAYS. No gold stars. Black Xes and eternal hate and anger towards Delta from yours truly. In the meantime, Matt wore the same 2 shirts and 2 pair of shorts (luckily we'd thrown a change of clothes into our other suitcase), we both had only one pair of shoes (all our shoes were in the missing bag), we had to bum sunscreen off our friends (and mostly failed, therefore getting sunburns)...and one of us was super angry, stressed out, and bitter about this for three days. The other person was pretty chill and didn't complain much about having to spend all his time sitting in the room, waiting on incompetent Delta agents to return our calls. I'll let you figure out who's who in that scenario.
First Runner-Up: Me. At least I didn't kill anyone.
Related LIFETIME UNACHIEVEMENT AWARD goes to Delta Airlines for being stupid and pathetic.
Best Assisted Reproduction Award:
THIS GUY and his eager assistant, me!
Did you know that sea turtles need loads of help reproducing? I think I kind of knew that. I think that in America we 'help' them by like...not turning on hotel lights on the beach or something. And leaving them alone. Well, just like in human reproduction...apparently some turtles need a little more HELP to get the job done...and I'm very sympathetic to that need. Obviously. So in Mexico, they help the process by burying all the eggs, keeping track of when they need to be dug up, and then helping dump the babies all into the water. And it's a group activity!! Look- I saved a bunch of sea turtles (and did not let birds eat them as they tried to run to the sea)!!! It was so freakin awesome and so completely illegal in America...that made it even more fun! Ha.
Best Color-Coordinating Wardrobe Award:
Matt y Erika!
I mean, like there was any competition, really. Once we got the other suitcase, that is.
Best at Sleeping In Award:
Everyone except me.
Yall. I really suck at sleeping in at the beach. I'm up with the sunrise, ready and rarin' to go! Or...taking selfies with my sleeping husband, as the case may be. I can't help it. I get too excited. And hungry. And anxious to get a tan.
Best at Winning Every Competition:
The moral of this story is: don't challenge us to anything and expect us not to win. Simple.
Best at Bringing Joy to People's Hearts:
This Bellhop, upon delivering our long-lost suitcase!
Not that he really had anything to do with it besides lugging it up a few floors, but he was the recipient of about five billion 'THANK YOU!!!!!!s' (and pesos) when he knocked on our door that night!
Most Committed to the Dawgs Award:
Matt, Erika, Adam, y Jessie!!!!
We celebrated Game Day and cheered on the Dawgs from the comfort of room 2350. We were SUPER excited that one of the approximately 4 English-speaking channels just so happened to be ABC- and it was broadcasting our game!! So we didn't have to watch from an iPad!!! We celebrated with room service, Mexican junk food, and halftime trips to the bar downstairs. Even though we didn't win, it was a great way to kick off the season!
Most Memorable Quote of the Trip:
This award goes to JESSIE!
...and truer words have never been spoken. Can I get an amen?
The Lifetime Achievement in Dessert Award:
Like there was even any competition. COTTON CANDY NIGHT!!!
It was really tough that the fresh cotton candy night was also the same night as the fresh churros (I mean, frying them RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF YOU), but I managed to buckle down and eat a respectable amount of both desserts. That's dedication, yall.
Runner Up: Churros, obviously.
Loser: this weird stuff I thought was going to be cheesecake one night. And it wasn't. And I don't know what it was but it WAS NOT CHEESECAKE and it was weird.
The 'Bringing Sexy Back': Sombrero Edition Award-
Ow ow ow!!!!! If sombreros and v-necks don't make your heart pitter-patter, I don't know what will. Stand back, ladies. This one's all mine!
There are plenty more awards and pictures and stories to share, but no more time today! I look forward to catching up with everyone...and catching up with blogs...and catching up with work...and catching up with bills...and well, coming back to 'real life' is never easy, but I'm sure I'll catch up eventually! Happy whatever the heck non-fall day it is!