reality check

Remember a long time ago how I said I was going to go to one of those cool running stores and have a legit shoe assessment/consultation and then buy REAL running shoes based on science and fit and not price and cuteness? I know. It was a long time ago-- September. Ancient history. Well, I like to accomplish things at a snail's pace, what can I say? (Actually, I can say that a lot has happened since mid-September and buying fancy running shoes somehow fell really low on- and then off- the list of things to do.) 

Gosh. Thinking about how ridiculous life has been since mid-September is actually really mind-blowing and awful. I just glanced back over the titles of my posts...from then til now...AND LET'S MOVE ON BEFORE I START BAWLING.

So!! On Saturday Matt and I were having a little 'continue the birthday fun and let Erika pick whatever she wants to do all day long' day (my favorite kind of day) and so I decided we would go to the running store and both have our feet/strides/styles assessed and get ourselves some new kicks.

WAIT! Back up. Relevant rabbit trail about what suddenly made new running shoes so important first:

Leggings, yall. Leggings. Leggings are so fun! So cute! So comfy! So easy!! I fully believe in and subscribe to all of those thoughts about leggings. But here's the truth about leggings-- I'm gonna be blunt. Leggings lie to you. Leggings tell you "go on, eat your fourth dessert of the night! I'll still feel great!" Leggings tell you that it's okay to eat your feelings for two months, to watch 18 episodes of Parks & Rec every night while you mindlessly munch on popcorn. Leggings don't bat an eye if you skip your morning workout...for three months. The leggings are still gonna fit. They'll welcome you every day, never breathing a comment about your slowly-but-steadily-expanding derriere. Leggings are an enabler. They're the friend you call when you just want to feel better about yourself. They're the worthless accountability partner who will never, ever call you on your crap. Leggings are awesome.

UNTIL YOU TRY TO PUT ON YOUR JEANS.

Jeans? Jeans keep you real. Jeans don't lie. Jeans say "hold up, sistah-- ain't NO WAY you can button me today! You tryin' to dump 5 gallons of ice cream in a 1 gallon bucket??! AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!" Jeans will remind you constantly, all day long, that no, maybe you should NOT have had two lunches plus extra dinner every day last week. Jeans will leave marks all over your body so that when you're disrobing, they're still silently mocking. Jeans make you feel bad about your awesome accomplishment of watching 9 episodes of Scandal in one afternoon. Jeans are that really blunt grandmother who calls it exactly like she sees it. Bless her heart...and my vaster-than-ever posterior. 

SO. Let's just say that post-failed-adoption-mourning and a steady wardrobe of leggings hasn't done my body any favors. My jeans called me out on it and I'm heeding their advice: step it up. Step up the exercise. Step away from the holiday-treat-filled-break-room at work. 

Which brings us back to the running shoes. It was time. Now that I'm 400 years old and I have a broken (but healing) back, shoes are more important than ever (???? I don't know, they seem correlated in my mind). So to the Athens Running Company store we went. We did the assessment and fitting thing and it was super fun. And then I tried on 80 pair of shoes and jogged around the store and totally looked like an idiot. But I probably wasn't the first one they'd seen, so I tried to get over it. And THEN-- miracle of miracles-- I picked new shoes and did NOT take the colors and overall cuteness into account.

I think I surprised us all. 

So I'm now the owner of these:

Yes, I wear a size 10. Large and in charge- that's me!

  They look kinda funny and the lacing part goes all curvy and I don't know why, but dangit-- I picked the ones that are scientifically proven to make me a way better runner and lose 10 pounds immediately!!!

Or that's what I thought, anyway. I mean-- when you pay three times as much as you've ever paid for tennis shoes before...your expectations go sky high. I had such visions for my first run!! It was going to be so easy!! So pain free!! I'd barely even know I was exerting any energy...after a period of time I'd glance down at my GPS and realize with shock that I'd gone 10 miles-- and barely feel winded!!! This was how it was supposed to go down.

Guess what?

Running still sucks, even with nice shoes. Bah. Life-- why so harsh?? 

I mean, I'm sure they are better. I will admit that at least my feet and shins weren't hurting as much as usual. But I could definitely tell I was running. I definitely still hated it. It was still freezing. I couldn't breathe. I felt every single inch of those 2.75 miles. I'm already making a list of excuses for why I don't want to go running again this afternoon. Also, since I'm wearing leggings today, I forget why it is I wanted to start running in the first place...

It was a harsh-lesson-learning weekend, I guess. Sorry to hit you with it on a Monday, but I felt like you deserved to know. Nice running shoes are...nice, I guess...but not as nice as leggings. THE END.