Tuesday, December 17, 2013

tales from a genius: perfume ed.

Over the weekend I managed to accomplish my weeks-long goal of coming up with a better organizational system for my makeup. And yes-- I actually make goals like this. And I thrill in accomplishing them. What's it to you?

Anyway. Suffice it to say that the makeup storage system I've been using for the last 7 years was NOT sufficient anymore. Back then I probably owned like...6 cosmetics. And half of them were hand-me-downs from my mom or sister. Theseadays my collection is a bit more...extensive, you could say. Also: expensive. But that's neither here nor there. Our bathroom has very limited cabinet space (and NO drawers), and so I've been doing the best I can, but it was definitely time to re-think things.


This was the approximate state of things last week. Naturally, it all stays in the cabinets during the day, but when I'm trying to get ready...things get messy quickly. All of the various small items (compacts, liners, tubes) go in the box, I have a cup where I stand up all of my brushes, and all of the palettes just get stacked on top. It was precarious...like an expensive and beautiful game of Jenga.

Then, much to my delight, my 31st birthday brought some new makeup friends into the fold:


Namely, an amazing collection of Tarte LipSurgences (and I can no longer find the exact set on Ulta's webpage?) and NAKED3 which is mind-blowing and makes me weep every time I pull it out. Good weeping.

Anyway, these new editions did me in: I needed a new organization system. So I spent some time at Target on Saturday and came home with a great new plan (and a few more of my favorite storage boxes). A delightful hour of sorting, tossing, and organizing later, I had a WAY happier and more effective makeup storage solution.

Weird aerial view, sorry.
For the record, 90% of my lip products are stored elsewhere (*ahem*inmypurse*)...lest you think I'm somehow a minimalist in that department. I'm not. And all of my brushes are still in the pretty cup. But this is pretty much it.

ANYWAY. In the midst of my organizational frenzy, I threw out a lot of old stuff and/or stuff I just don't use anymore. And I also discovered, buried deep beneath half-used bronzers and mascaras, some long-forgotten tiny things that had fallen to the bottom of the heap. Like those little fragrance samples that Sephora throws in your bags/boxes. I moved them to my counter top, right in plain view, so that I'd remember to use them.

So this morning, I finish getting dressed and dolled up. I'm about to call it quits on the bathroom when I notice the perfumes. Oh! Today is my office Christmas party. I should wear some perfume! What a nice touch that will be, I thought to myself. 

I grab the first one I see and give my arms a spritz. Rubbing my forearms together, I turn off the bathroom lights and head towards the kitchen.

Halfway through my bedroom I notice something strange. A smell. I pull my wrist up to my nose and take a whiff.

Yeah. Yup. Definitely MEN'S COLOGNE. 

All over me.

Crap.

I mean, I'm dressed. Hair done (relatively speaking), makeup set, clothes on...and we have 10 minutes til we leave the house. This really isn't the time to be, say, COVERED IN MEN'S COLOGNE. What a genius move.

In my flusteredness, I call out to Matt. He comes in as I explain my conundrum. He comes closer. He busts out laughing. "Ummm...yeah...you pretty much smell like a man." Well...thanks. 

What do you do, people??! I didn't have time to shower, or change clothes, or even Google! Somewhere in the back of my mind I had this idea that rubbing alcohol might help, but sad for us all-- I couldn't find any in the house. So I scrubbed my arms with handsoap and water and hoped that Tom Ford Noir would not prove to be a particularly long-lasting cologne.

That about brings us to present. I'm here at work, cute makeup and dress, smelling like a man. GOOD TIMES!! I'm thinking that if I don't say anything (not likely, I'm more the type to blurt out "I ACCIDENTALLY PUT ON MEN'S COLOGNE THIS MORNING HAHAHAHAAHA!!!" to everyone I see) maybe people will just assume Matt and I spent some time making out in the car before we came in to work today and his cologne smell rubbed off on me? That seems likely. So anyway. Have a delightfully man-scented Tuesday.

29 comments:

  1. I mean, you could smell like many other much worse things... hopefully it's at least cologne that you would approve of Matt wearing???

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  2. Ha ha ha! I love it. Totally something I would do. But since I work in an office of all men, I guess I would just....fit in...?

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  3. I love men's cologne...so you'll smell great today. :)

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  4. Remember CK One... for a man or woman. I just think you are being a trend setter. Plus, you could smell like way worse things...

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  5. I would totally tell everyone what I had done, but I don't know if that's necessarily the best move. Maybe it just smells like you and Matt were sitting really close to each other in the car or something?

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  6. At least it wasn't cheap man cologne.

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  7. Sounds like something I would do. I've often used the wrong deo on my way to the gym ( I keep the lights off as to not wake the sleeping man). Nothing gets my workout going like the smell of musky man armpits! Woo Hoo! However, I would just go with the morning make- out session as my excuse! LOL

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  8. At least your cologne smells good, right, if not feminine? I once worked with a woman who spilled an entire bottle of patchouli on herself, which was neither good nor feminine. She wore it proudly, too, as if it wasn't causing those around her to gag. Since you're not going to make people gag, whether you blame Matt or take the credit yourself, I say work it, girl!

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  9. Trust me, there are way worse things you could smell like :) And it sounds like another trip to Target for more organize-y things is in order. After all, you now need to separate your perfumes so that this doesn't happen again!

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  10. Oh thanks for the laugh today-laughing out loud at my desk!

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  11. HAHAHA! That's hilarious/awful! Hope the smell is fading away and that it was at least a pleasant cologne! And at least your makeup looks amazing in the mean time!

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  12. Ha! I bet I would think you smell great! YOU HAVE NAKED ?!? I have been trying to decide if I NEED it or want it...too much of a good thing?

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    1. No. You absolutely, 100% need it. I have Naked1 and there are a lot of differences between 1 & 3...definitely enough to justify getting 3!! I mean, there is this one color-- Trick-- that is so beautiful it makes me tear up. SO GO GET IT.

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  13. Haha awesome!! I would totally do something like that. . .

    Love me some Target for organizational items. I can justify that "need" any day!

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  14. I'm hoping your organizing will rub off on me...I need to do that in a big way! I'm sure you smelled like a lovely, lovely man! LOL ☺

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  15. If anyone asks, I'd just say that Matt got some new cologne and you had to take....advantage...of it and let them fill in the blanks!

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  16. You are making me REALLY want to go out and buy Naked 3--I have 2 and use it every day, but I've been waffling on 3!

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  17. Ha this reminds me of the episode of "The Office" when Michael accidentally wore a woman's suit jacket to the office! I'm sure your scent was a big hit :)

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  18. Haha! People will definitely assume you did more than make out this morning!

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  19. Ooh! I love those boxes!! I'll have to see what other patterns are available!

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  20. Too funny! You should have just winked and smiled if someone mentioned the manly smell coming from your direction. They would totally be jealous!

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  21. I absolutely love that one of your goals was to reorganize your makeup. I totally make goals like that for myself as well.

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  22. Haha! This easily just made my day soo much better! There is no better way than to spend a Saturday at Target and playing with... I mean organizing make up! If you're anything like me- half of the "misplaced" or forgotten products just had to be tested! Usually ending up in an overload of eye make up and lip gloss! Love it!

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  23. Love my Naked shadows. The 3 is made of baby angel wings I think.

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    1. Totally agree-- and if you don't think Trick is so gorgeous that it makes you cry...then I question your humanity. ;)

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