I'm THAT teacher.

Didn't you just love those jerk-faced teachers in high school that did punk moves like springing pop quizzes on you on Monday mornings? No? Just me? While most people would find a Monday morning pop quiz offensive at best, those of us that regularly spent our weekends studying found it an optimal way to prove that we were better at life (or school) than the other kids who probably spent the weekend painting the town red.

That being said, guess what you're about to get?

A MONDAY MORNING POP QUIZ!

Just because you're a good decade or two out of high school doesn't mean you shouldn't keep your skills sharp. You can thank me later when your mind fails you two years later than it would have otherwise. Because you can know that.

Since this is my blog, this quiz is going to be about me. Makes more sense that way.

QUESTION NUMBER ONE:

Which important cultural event did I stay up late watching last night?

A. The Grammys
B. The Bachelor Wedding: Sean & Catherine
C. Both-- I'm a mad channel-changer and flipped between the two all night.

Have you made your choice? Bubbled in your answer on the scantron using your #2 pencil? Great. Now you can check your answer.

If you picked A or C, I appreciate you thinking so highly of me. But you're wrong.

The correct answer is B, Catherine & Sean's "Grown Sexy" wedding. Eeeeek! It was so much fun. I have followed both of them on Twitter/Instagram ever since Sean's season, so I feel like I'm pretty invested in their journey to marriage. I enjoyed the special last night AND the wedding itself. I liked their quirky vows, the way you could actually hear Catherine's panicked heavy breathing as she walked down the aisle, and that Sean cried at least 200 times. Oh, and Catherine's earrings. I wanted to snatch them through the TV screen. I also appreciated that Chris and the gang managed to make Sean & Catherine's much-publicized choice to save sex for marriage seem fun and sexy and not weird and laughable. All in all, it was a good choice for my Sunday night TV. And let's be honest. I probably can't name a single singer or song that was featured on the Grammys because I only listen to NPR. So unless Mozart or Holst or the awesome Irish jig people they feature on Sundays from 1-2 were winning awards...I'd have been lost.

QUESTION NUMBER TWO:

On Sunday morning, Matt and I made an unplanned, unexpected $$$$ purchase for our home. And the dollar signs in the previous sentence do accurately represent the number of digits we had to spend on this purchase. What exciting item did we spontaneously decide we just couldn't live without?

A. New sofas.

B. New tile for the kitchen and laundry room.

C. New hot water heater.

D. New indoor pool for our pet manatee.

Think about this one carefully, people. Remember: cross off the ones you KNOW it can't be, then weigh out whatever's left.

If you picked C, you are obviously using the old 'if you don't know, just pick C' method that works 88% of the time (fake statistic), including this time. If you also think that I would much rather have had A, B, or D be the real answer...you're right about that, too.

Yeah. Being a grown up is SO FUN when you're going out to get in the car to go to church and you discover water leaking from your hot water heater onto the floor of your garage and laundry room. Oy vey.

Like any decent wife, I assessed the situation quickly: Looks like a mess. We're going to need a plumber. But I just put on a cute outfit, fixed my hair, and spent 20 minutes on my eye makeup. So obviously I headed on to church and Matt dealt with the boring and expensive stuff on the home front.

Throughout church I got exciting text updates like this:

Our hot water heater closet sans hot water heater.

 I know. Most exciting picture on my phone, probably.

So we have a new hot water heater. Woo hoo?? I'll be sure to feature it in my next home tour. 

And now an extra-credit question.

How much do plumbers get paid (for labor only) to make home visits on Sundays?

A. $20/hr
B. $500 flat rate 
C. $113/hr
D. $177/hr

The correct answer is, sadly, D. 

In other news, I'm going back to school to become a plumber and then I'm going to work for one hour a day. Holy crap. (heh heh) (although crap wasn't really the problem this time)

Other than the unscheduled and uber-exciting Sunday morning purchase, it was a fantastic weekend. 

QUESTION NUMBER THREE:

What fitness class did Matt join me for at the gym on Sunday?

A. Zumba
B. Tabata
C. Yoga
D. Step Aerobics

Go with your gut (or lack thereof) here. It's C! Don't you know-- the couple that yogas together stays together? I'm pretty sure that's a saying. Somewhere.

Naturally, being in a yoga class gave me flashbacks to our controversial discussion of two weeks ago. I thought about assessing and judging the choices of all the other folks in class, but ended up being too busy concentrating on trying not to tip over and start a domino-chain reaction. This just in: yoga requires the ability to balance. And about as soon as I'd get myself balanced, I'd catch a glimpse of Matt out of the corner of my eye. 

Laughter does nothing for your balance. But it's great for your heart.

Hope you did well on the quiz. If you didn't, don't come begging for extra credit. You should have studied harder and partied less. Better luck next time! ;)